Desire for you - ALPHA ILAY

DELILAH

I looked at Ilay in bewilderment and didn't know what else to say to make him see reason.

Since my hand was incredibly painful and burning, I decided not to say anything more.

I swallowed and finally nodded. Maybe it was wiser just not to say anything more. Maybe he would get the idea himself and realise how stupid he was at that moment.

What should I have done? Beg for reason? Hadn't Achira herself tried a thousand times to stop him from ruining his life? It seemed like only yesterday that I had been rejected and enslaved by Zamiel, and yet here I was, trying to make the best of the situation.

I turned to walk to the door when Ilay grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me to face him.

He looked at me with a serious expression: "Not a word, not to anyone..." he finally said. His eyes glittered dangerously and I just nodded my head.

"I wasn't going to..." I replied, just disappointed at that moment.

"Fine," he turned away from me again as I disappeared from his room.

Why the hell had I bothered?

Depressed, I walked to my room, glad that I had the day off and didn't have to turn up for duty.

I threw myself onto my bed and pulled the duvet up to my neck.

My hands were throbbing, but the pain was bearable. The burns would heal, but it would take a long time and take away my strength to get better.

I sighed softly and turned onto my side, hoping to fall asleep, but it didn't happen. I lay on my back again and stared at the ceiling. Damn...

ILAY

After Delilah left the room, I restrained myself from throwing everything on the table because I knew she would have to clean it up in the end.

"Arrgh..." I yelled, slamming my fist against the wall.

I had screwed myself up with my behaviour and the sad thing was that I was aware of it.

I shouldn't have behaved like that towards Delilah... It was really unfair.

Now my guilty conscience was kicking in too, damn it! She was a simple maid and that was it. No more and no less.

I pulled my hair out and paced up and down the room.

I glanced back at the table with the half-burnt letters and let out a soft sigh.

I picked up the letters again and looked at the picture of Catherine for a moment.

"What else do you have to tell me, Cate? ..." I mumbled to myself and reached for the last letter she had written to me.

I wanted to skip it all and spare myself any more pain. I would just read the end.

Fortunately, thanks to Delilah, her letter had been spared.

I unfolded the letter and sat back down in the armchair. I was back in the same place as yesterday, with the only difference being that Delilah probably wouldn't come to my rescue this time.

This time I was determined not to let her letter affect me emotionally, but would it work?

I took a deep breath and started reading again.

CATHERINE

Dear Ilay,

It's been almost a year since I've seen you...

I can only hope that you are doing as well as I am.

After a year, I've finally managed to get my life back on track. Henry is doing well with his little teeth and keeps us up every night.

Of course it's exhausting, but his little smile is priceless.

Every time I look into his eyes, I see your emerald green eyes. I still miss you, Ilay...

I would have loved to have you by my side...

I don't know what else to write... Everything has already been said.

I will never forget you and yet life goes on...

I hope you find someone you can be happy with...

Someone who can give you the warmth and love that I couldn't give...

I'm terribly sorry that I rejected you at the beginning, Ilay, when I think about how long you waited for me... it still breaks my heart... That's one of the reasons why I want you to be happy again.

Even if it sounds harsh... That was it between us, Ilay... That was our beautiful, dramatic story, which is now over...

I stopped reading in the middle of the text and crumpled up the letter.

Damn, you burnt your hands for that, Delilah.

Hearing that she's better and I should find someone else to be happy with? Even though I knew Catherine didn't mean it, it felt like someone had broken up with you via text message and told you that you'd find someone better and that we wouldn't work out.

I threw the crumpled letter on the floor and wanted to destroy or kill something.

I threw everything on the table on the floor and at that moment I didn't care who had to clean it up. I stormed out of my room straight into my office and bumped into May, who was dusting my desk.

I frowned angrily "WHERE IS DELILAH?", I half shouted at her. Why the hell was May wiping down my desk and not Delilah?

"It's her day off, sir," May replied, startled, dropping her cleaning rag on the floor.

"Day off?" I asked irritated and shook my head "There are no days off, I want only her to clean my office and my room. Do we understand each other?" I instructed her, to which she nodded hastily and said nothing more. "Now get out and make sure she gets to work," I instructed May, who had already run out the door.

Day off... No more days off. Not for anyone.

What was this shit? When did I ever have a day off?

I reached for the bottle of bourbon and poured myself a glass, which I drank immediately.

Suddenly Achira knocked on the door and I rolled my eyes: "If you're here to give me some kind of moral lecture, then you can get the fuck out of here. Today is not a good day," I hissed angrily at her and sipped from my glass.

Achira came running into my office anyway and looked at me unimpressed: "What's wrong, my darling? Heartache again?" she asked me with a smile and tilted her head.

I nodded slightly, "Yes, you could say that and now get out," I replied, clenching my hands into fists. My patience was hanging by a thread and I was probably about to lose it completely.

Achira nodded slightly: "We all know it's not easy... But Catherine is right. You have to stop, otherwise it won't lead to anything," she replied, biting her lower lip.

I raised my eyebrows and frowned, surprised: "Have you read the letters?" I asked her.

She smiled at me and shook her head cheekily: "No, not the letters, but your thoughts."

She read my thoughts? I stood up angrily and walked towards her, "Get out of my room!" I shouted angrily at her and escorted her out before slamming the door in her face.

To be able to read my mind, I must have lost a lot of control over myself. Apparently, I really had reached a low point where I couldn't even hide my thoughts anymore.

I heard Achira giggling outside the door as she apparently disappeared again.

I wanted to give her and Ryan a good kick up the arse for mocking me like that.

Sighing, I dropped back into my chair. My mum's picture was on the desk and I looked at it for a moment...

She had managed to break away from my father. It was hard, but she had done it. She was somewhere in the world now, happy...

I was rubbing my temples when I heard a soft knock on the door. "Yes?" I called out angrily and looked at the door.

It was Delilah.

She was standing in front of the door in her service uniform and looked at me uncertainly. "M-May told me you asked for me..." she whispered softly and then looked back down.

Damn, had I asked for her? Yes... Yes, I had.

God, I was stupid. Why the hell had I asked for her when I knew her hands were burnt? Hell...

"Yes, I was looking for you. I want you to go to Erol today and have him look at your hands," I replied, because I couldn't think of anything better to say.

Delilah frowned briefly and then shook her head "It's all right, I don't need a doctor," she replied.

"That wasn't a request, it was an instruction," I looked at her seriously, whereupon she said nothing more and disappeared out of the door again.

That was the only reason I shooed her away again.

I was starting to feel stupid, because apparently I had really lost control of myself in this situation.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and stood up again.

Who else was going to die today?

I was so angry at that moment that my demon took over again and I was about to set my own house on fire.

I teleported into the Lostland courtroom.

The building was elegantly furnished with antique furniture. Soon it wouldn't look so classy and beautiful. In a moment, it would look like a tornado had swept through the corridors. That tornado was me.

I stormed through the corridors and would have loved to run over every person I came across.

"SHAWN REDINGTON!" I shouted, my voice echoing several times through the high corridors.

Several men rushed out of the courtroom, confused as to what I was doing here. They had the feeling that, as a prince, I was not wanted here. No wonder, among my brothers I was the one who was making life difficult for everyone at the moment. I'll get to my brothers later... At least they were busy enough not to bother me.

"You were looking for me?" one of them asked. He was relatively small and chubby compared to the others. He was wearing a black suit and his judge's robes. Normally you wouldn't mess with a judge, but this time I would be citing his own son in court.

I grinned mischievously and nodded: "Indeed I did."