Demon

Natalie’s

“Yes darling, of course you are able to perceive the truth. There is more to explain. But I fear that it will upset you as well.”

My beloved, I worry, will be crushed when she learns of the pain that we unwittingly inflicted on Jonathan’s Guardian. That we all inflicted. Demon specifically blames her, though, and I fear that she will feel the same.

She sighs and looks straight at me. “Even if it upsets me, I have to know it. You know I do. Just tell me.”

I resist the urge to begin weeping again. “It is about what happened to Demon, where he was while he was missing.”

She nods, repeats this to her brother, and waits. We continue slowly approaching the park.

“As you remember, when Jonathan was on top of the jungle gym with you, trying to push you off, myself and the other Guardians began using energy to try to stop Demon from controlling Jonathan. We reacted out of fear for your safety. But we did not have any idea what the consequences would be.”

She nods, again repeating my words to Gabe. They both listen somberly, waiting for the bad news they know is coming.

“All we knew after it was over was that Demon was missing. We searched for him to the best of our abilities, but could not locate him anywhere. Other than the brief flash I had of him a few days after that incident, I had not detected his presence again until today.”

Nodding again, waiting.

I regard her sadly. “I have learned that what happened to Demon was not simply that he disappeared. It was that he was essentially destroyed. The power of our combined voices, shouting at him with all the energy at our disposal, actually dismembered his entire being. Every particle of dark matter within him was blasted apart from the rest. He did not simply vanish. He was utterly unmade.” The dreadful responsibility of telling my beloved this horrifying truth is unbearable. I ache for her.

She pulls her hand away from Gabe’s grip and covers her face, peering out from behind her hands. Tears spring to her eyes. She repeats this information for Gabe, speaking through her fingers. When she finishes, she asks, “You mean, that you… killed him?”

“I know of no better description for what happened. Essentially, yes. We killed him,” I affirm, deeply ashamed.

When Gabe hears this, he asks with astonishment, “Then how is he back?”

Yes, that is the proper question.

We have reached the park. Natalie sees Jonathan’s small form in the distance, curled against the wall. She lifts her hand from her face to point him out to Gabe, then to draw him away. “Not yet,” she tells him, “we can’t go over there yet. We have to understand more.”

He nods, agreeing. They move to a bench near a tree which would block their location from being viewed by Jonathan, were he to look in this direction.

I must answer Gabe’s question. “Even though Demon’s matter had been annihilated, and he had no physical presence or cohesion of any kind, he was still tied to Jonathan’s soul.”

The children nod, having heard this repeated numerous times during the last several months.

“His matter was apparently scattered widely throughout the universe, but it was still him. He maintained a rudimentary perception of his circumstances after the incident occurred. He perceived it as…” I try to find a way to describe it that will make any sense at all to the human children. “It seemed to him that he was lost in a black void, with nobody and nothing anywhere around him. He was totally alone, and did not know where he was or how to help himself.”

Although I am not fully describing the terror, the agony, the forsakenness that Demon suffered, Natalie senses it just the same. Her heart is filled with compassion and sorrow for Jonathan’s Guardian.

I must continue. “He had no sense of how long this endured. It felt to him like an eternity. But then he felt a warmth, a glow that helped a tiny part of himself heal, some of his matter grow back together.”

Natalie looks at me, puzzled. I cannot keep her in suspense. I cannot try to convey the waiting, the bafflement, the confusion that this caused for so long before Demon realized that she was the source. “After this happened several times, Demon eventually realized that it was when you were touching Jonathan, and his soul was healing, that Demon himself was also being healed.”

She smiles joyfully. “I helped him then? I’m so glad! I mean, I’m sorry that what we did made him get lost, but at least I was able to fix things so that he could come back!”

Her smile falters when she sees me watching this reaction sadly.

“But…” she frowns, “then why was Demon so upset with me? I could feel it coming from Jonathan. It felt like he hated me. Why, if I’m the one who helped him?”

This is the hardest part. “My darling, as much as I do not wish to share this information with you, I must. Demon blames you for his banishment, even though I am actually responsible. And because he blames you, he did not enjoy your help. He found your touch to be… unwelcome.”

Gabe and Natalie look at each other, upset and bewildered. I try to clarify. I must be brutally clear. “He realized that your touch was helping him while it helped Jonathan, but he hated knowing that it was coming from the same person who he felt had imprisoned him in the void.”

Her forehead wrinkles with distress. “But I didn’t know! I didn’t know any of this! How can he hate me for it?”

Gabe looks at his sister. “I know it isn’t the same thing, but it kind of reminds me of slavery. We’ve been studying that in history, what happened before the Civil War. If a slave was living a horrible life and being abused, they’d hate the person doing it, even if they were also being given enough food to stay alive. They might eat the food because they had to, but they would still hate the person giving it to them.”

This is a shockingly good metaphor. I believe that the only more apt human analogy would likely be a situation of serial sexual abuse, but thankfully these children are innocent of such ideas. “Yes, I believe your brother has found a similar example. Demon was helpless, and was angry at you for putting him there, and hated that he had to accept your help. He has a very complicated set of feelings about you.”

“Was that why Jonathan tried to get to her?” Gabe asked. “What was he trying to do?”

I sadly reply, “Demon is so upset at what happened, that he feels that a Seer such as Natalie should not even exist. Jonathan had no specific plan, but he was compelled forward by Demon’s sense that Natalie must be stopped.”

Gabe is aghast. “What? Well, that means that Natalie is going to be in danger all the time! If Demon wants her not to exist, he’ll make Jonathan keep trying to hurt her, won’t he?”

“I fear that may be true,” I reply. “Understanding what Demon experienced, and the way he feels, I do not know if he will ever be able to accept having Jonathan spend time with Natalie. It is probable that it will again trigger an emotional response that could lead to a desire to harm her. You should consider finding a way to avoid Jonathan in the future. Starting now.”

Gabe nods, grimly accepting that he will likely have to forsake his best friend, in order to protect his sister.

Natalie, however, reacts immediately. “No!” she nearly shouts. “No. I will not agree to stay away from him! This whole thing started because I was trying to change him, and everything that happened is my fault. Demon is totally right! It’s my fault. I made this mess. I have to find a way to make it better. I’m going to.”

Gabe stares at her, utterly flummoxed. “Well, Nat, you can’t talk to him. The same thing will happen.”

She huffs and crosses her arms, leaning back against the bench. “I know. Give me a minute to think.”

He lifts his hands in the air helplessly, then joins her in leaning against the bench. He waits, in silence. As do I.