Demon

Stefanie

Can it possibly be 7:30 on Christmas morning? I stare from my pillow, befuddled, at the digital clock on my nightstand. I hear Brad’s slow breathing beside me. Why on earth didn’t Jonathan burst into our room before dawn, demanding that it is time for presents, like he has every other Christmas?

After a quick trip to the bathroom, I check on him, and discover him not asleep in bed, as had been my guess, but instead sitting quietly on the couch in front of the Christmas tree, Socks curled beside him, absently stroking the dog’s fur.

I sit down next to him, and put my arm around his shoulders. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” I say. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Just looking at the tree.” Socks looks up at him when he hears Jonathan’s voice, then lays his head back down on his paws.

Huh. I sit with him, and gaze over at the tree, a humongous pile of presents beneath, the lights sparkling. He obviously turned them on when he came in here. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?” I ask him.

“Mm-hmm,” he says. “It’s nice to sit here while it’s quiet. I feel… I don’t know, kind of peaceful. Like I’m letting the Christmas spirit sink in.”

This is unusual, but he has been doing a lot of unusual stuff this month. It’s not bad, though. I chuckle and lean over to give the top of his head a kiss. “I agree. You know, I used to do this too, when I was a kid. There’s something so nice about just enjoying the moment, looking at the decorations, before everything happens.”

He nods, still gazing at the tree.

Brad comes in, wearing a bathrobe over his pajamas. “It’s present time!”

Our little bubble of peace pops, but we’re both fine with it. Jonathan smiles. “Okay.”

Natalie

I love Christmas. And this one is so nice, with Mom and Dad back together for real, and Gabe’s broken ankle healing, and the Jonathan Project starting to work.

We opened everything up already, and had the big special Christmas breakfast that Mom prepared, and are hanging around checking out our new stuff. Dad told us it is too early to try to go over to see Jonathan, that we have to wait for a decent hour.

So Gabe has busted open this big new Lego set that he got and is starting to build with it, using the instruction manual. I’m curled up on the couch with what I think is my favorite present. Grandma sent me a bible. A real, grown-up bible, not just the children’s one that she sent last year. It isn’t in old-fashioned language, though, it’s in modern language, and I’m able to understand it all right so far. Although I’ve just barely started, of course. It’s super long, so I figure it’ll take me quite a while to get through the whole thing, but I’m eager to do it.

It’s strange for me, still, to think about the bible, and religion, and the entire concept of god. Now that I know that people made the whole thing up. Angel said that when some people could tell that their guardians were there, they decided that it must be god they were feeling. It never was, though. And that’s how the whole thing started, thousands of years ago, when people made up all sorts of different religions, creating whole groups of gods and goddesses to worship.

When Angel first told us about this a couple of months ago, it was hard for Timothy and me to believe that the whole thing was just invented by people. But now the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I’ve read books about old religions, like Greek mythology. Angel said that people back then took their religion, with Zeus and Hera and Apollo and the other ones, just as seriously as people today take their religions with Jesus and Jehovah.

It’s all the same stuff, just with different names and stories attached to it. People want to understand the world, and they try to find ways to explain everything, whether they are right about it or not. They sense their guardian, and figure it is a god. Some disaster happens, so they decide the explanation is that their god must be mad at them. And some people want to control others, and figured out that saying they know what god wants is the perfect way to do that.

I’ve been trying to figure out how it all developed, so that I can find a way to untangle it, and help people stop using religion as an excuse to be awful to each other. It’s been used as the reason for horrible things, over and over again. Like the attacks on September 11. That’s why I want to read the bible, to help me understand how it all started.

But here I am, loving Christmas, the whole Christmas story, the baby and the manger and the sheep and the wise men and the entire thing. And I love everyone being happy and loving each other and lighting candles and having a feast. So I guess religion can be used for good things too. Everyone having a wonderful time together, and giving each other presents, and celebrating, is so nice. I don’t want to get rid of the good parts.

So, I’ll keep reading the bible, and try to figure it all out. How to help people believe in something nice, without wanting to do something awful.

Brenda

Waking up here again this morning, for the second Christmas in a row, in Ron’s house, in Ron’s bed, was so wonderful. When it happened last year, it was the beginning of our reconciliation. It’s been a long path, but I’m glad we’ve walked it.

I know how much he regrets everything that happened, and wishes he had never started the whole divorce thing. I can’t say that I don’t wish that too, but I also don’t find myself filled with any regrets. I’ve started to feel like everything happens for a reason, even the hard parts. If he hadn’t left me, so many things wouldn’t have happened. A lot of pain, yeah, we would have been spared that. But I wouldn’t have moved to my condo, wouldn’t have met Laura, and Natalie wouldn’t have met Timothy. I think we’re all in a good place right now, and I’m glad for it.

The only drawback to any of it is that I know Laura is disappointed that we’ve decided to live here at Ron’s house from now on. I’ll miss her too, but honestly ever since Ron and I got back together I haven’t spent as much time with Laura anyway. We’ll still see each other a few times a week. I told her that we’ll invite them over for dinner weekly, and of course we’ll be dropping off Timothy and Natalie on weekends to play with each other. It’ll all work out just fine.

There’s something else going on with her, though. I’ve seen how tired she’s been looking lately, the dark circles growing under her eyes. She says that it’s just that it has been hard getting used to sleeping together with Michael again since he returned from deployment, so she isn’t getting as much rest as normal.

I feel like there is more to it, but she hasn’t responded to my gentle prodding to find out what’s really wrong. Michael looks tired too, and almost like he got a lot older during the six months he was gone. He’s thinner, and there are lines in his face that weren’t there before. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since I know he was involved in the Afghanistan fighting. That must have been so hard on him.

Ron interrupts my train of thought by sitting next to me on the couch, with his new World’s Best Dad mug full of coffee. I chuckle softly. He actually is, although for a while there I didn’t want to admit it. He’s a great Dad. And fiance. And lover. And soon to be husband. I lean against him with a smile. We sip coffee and watch Gabe build his Lego spaceship or whatever it is. Natalie’s nose is buried in her book. We’re all together, all happy.

What a lovely Christmas.