Death & Dreams Book 1

It's been three weeks since Paris but she hasn't asked to go anywhere else. She'll smile when I come and talk about random stuff but never asked to go anywhere or asked for anything and it's fucking frustrating.

I can't tell if she needs something or if she really wants something but don't want to ask. I can't read minds like Seb....maybe I should have him come with me tomorrow.

"Thantos, will you read this book to me?"

I looked at Fantasy and saw the Disney story book she had in her hand. Fantasy stood there blushing and looked very adorable. "Yes, mio Neve Bianco, I'll read to you. Come get comfortable." I softly told her.

Her smile was brighter than the sun and made her eyes sparkle even more than normal. Just by the excitement in her eyes I knew that she'd love this more than anything in the world.

She sat in my lap and I wrapped my arms around her, with the book in front of us. She laid her head on my chest and I started reading the story of Snow White to my own beautiful little Snow White, "Once a upon a time, long, long ago a king and queen ruled over a distant land......."

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Fantasy made me read the story to her, three more times before she made me leave. I had no problem staying with her all night but she said that my family would be worried if I didn't go home, only if she knew.

Back in my body, I stayed in the chair and stare at her beauty and chuckle softly to myself. She's a stubborn girl, I tried to tell her that my family doesn't care where I am and that I'm relaxed and calm only when I'm with her or Sebastian. But she was dead set worried that I would get in trouble if I stayed with her all night long, like last week when I came to her with bruises on my arms. She looked so upset and was about to cry when I told her that I came home late while my father was 'mad' aka drunk.

What Fantasy didn't know was that I stayed by her side all night writing about what we did and talked about today in my journal.

I did this every day since I was thirteen, my mother sent me out to get the mail, going though it I saw a package in my name. The package was fat but light, so I hide it under my shirt and gave the rest to my mother. I went back to the attic after finishing my chores and ripped open the package. The first thing I saw was a thick black leather journal with my name in gold cursive letters across the top. I sat on the mattress and stared at it in shock, happiness, and disbelief. I never had anything this nice and was waiting for it to be snatched out of my hands or for my siblings to laugh at me for thinking I actually got something as a present but neither of that happened. I started to stroke the leather cover, admiring the way it felt against my skin. I never had a present before. I had the biggest smile on my face when I opened it to the first page and show someone already wrote on the first page.

Dear Thantos Westcott Roberts,

I hope you will accept this gift from me. I also hope you will accept my apology for not bringing this to you in person but it is not time for us to meet. I know the next few years of your life will not be pleasant but don't give up for everyone has a light that they will find to guide them back from darkness. So until you meet that light try to live in a safe and calm way while having fun. Write in this journal whenever you feel frustrated or upset or if you just feel like it. Hopeful this will help you collect your thoughts as you get older. Life will get difficult and there will be people that you will like to teach a lesson to but sometimes it just isn't worth it. Take it from a man that has taught more than one person a lesson or two.

"It is not the title that honors men but men honor the title."-Niccolo Machiavelli

P.S. Happy Thirteenth Birthday

For the longest of time I thought that the man that sent the book to me was Niccolo Machiavelli. I didn't know that he died in 1527 because I didn't have a computer. I kept calling him Machiavelli until I got a red journal with my name on the side for Christmas and the note on the first page ending with...

"While I thought that I was learning how to live, I was learning how to die"-Leonardo da Vinci

P.S. Merry Christmas, Thantos

I never figured out who keeps sending me the journals. I could never find an address and I never saw the postman that delivered the mail on that day. All I really wanted to do was thank the man for all the gifts he gave me.

Shaking my head, I started writing about school, how James and Patrick jumped Seb while I was gone, then later tried to jump me but I beat the both of their asses and got suspended from school while James was 'proven innocent', Mr. Grim sent me home early and called my parents, I was walking to the part of the town that was abandoned, my parents saw me on the sidewalk and beat me black and blue everywhere but the face while leaving me on the side of the road and once, I finally got off the ground I appeared in Fantasy's hospital room in so much pain that it took me half an hour just to walk from the door and sit in the chair beside her bed...the normal stuff.

Then, I wrote how I saw Fantasy try a new ballet spin, how she sat in my lap and listen to me read to her, and how she kicked me out of her head worried for me. I wrote about how she made my heart do something it hasn't ever done before I met her...beat. It feels so weird to have a heartbeat. It feels nice to have someone, other than Seb and the others, to actually care about me in a way.

Closing my journal, I place the pencil in between the pages and looked at the clock. 5am, sighing I take a much needed nap. Leaning forward despite of the pain and stiffness of my body, I kissed Fantasy's forehead, whispering, "Buonanotte, la mia speciale sogno."

I got comfortable in the chair while resting my head near Fantasy's body and went to sleep.