Daughter of Dusk

The next few days pass by in a blur. I can’t recall much of them, only bits and pieces. Flashes of tears soaking my pillow. Trying my hardest to smile through the pain radiating through my chest. Pushing away the numbness that blocks out even the warmest rays from the sun. Memories flashing before my mind’s eye, the shadows hitting Soren replaying over and over in my head, like a music box that never stops playing the same tune.

It doesn’t even feel like I’ve made it to Kera. But how can it? This isn’t how any of this was supposed to go. I was supposed to come here and start a new life with someone I love more than anyone in the world. And now here I am . . . alone.

As much as I’ve replayed the events in Zalaover in my head, as much as I’ve tried to move past them, my mind and body refuse to cooperate. Every time I shut my eyes, to even try and get some semblance of sleep, it’s as though I’m transported back to Zala. Clinging to Soren, lost in another reality where I never left, begging him to wake up, no matter how much my rationality tells me it’s impossible.

He’s gone, Luna.

He’s gone.

Despite the unrest, I have managed to get something resembling sleep.

Blaire graciously allowed me to stay with her for a little while until the Earth Wielders can build a house for me, but I’m not exactly sure how long that will be. It is nice to have her company though. It keeps me at least somewhat sane.

I did tell her what happened with Soren, and strangely, it was more cathartic than I ever could have imagined. I feel as though telling her what happened is me keeping my promise to Soren, somehow. It’s me honouring his final wish. Of course, I know I’ll never forget him, but telling Blaire about him somehow made his wish come to fruition for me. I can’t explain it.

But one prickling thought that keeps coming back is what I do now. I’ve dreamed of what a life outside the Manor could look like, and now that I’m really here, I’ve achieved my goal, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what a normal life looks like. How can I know what I’ve never had?

Every once in a while, the leader detail of the Aether prophecy pops into my head. But I know I could never lead. How could I possibly lead a place this beautiful? Even if I did help squander that incident with Finn and Mychal and Blaire, that doesn’t say anything about me. That was one situation.

It doesn’t matter. Father and the twins are the rulers. Not me. I don’t want any part of that legacy.

“Earth to Luna!” Blaire jokes, waving her hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze. She taps the dark wood surface of the small circular dining room table a few times with her nails before taking a seat on the opposite side of me. Her curly hair is unkept from what I can only assume was a good night’s sleep; at least based on the tiredness still lingering in her green eyes. She rests her chin in her hands as she looks at me, a gesture that makes me smile, if only a little.

“Everything okay?” She asks.

I force a nod and she raises an eyebrow in response.

“Yup, I totally believe you right now,” she says dryly.

“Just thinking,” I confess, fidgeting with Soren’s amulet before looking back at her. “I guess I’m just trying to figure out where I even go from here.”

She blinks at me. “Those are some deep thoughts for eight in the morning.”

“I suppose,” I sigh. “It feels like my life just started.”

“Well, it kind of has, from what you told me, at least. It’s okay if you don’t know right away. You just figured out all this stuff about your life, you figured out who your mother was, and then Soren . . .” she trails off. “Sorry, I know that’s still probably a hard thing to talk about.”

“It’s getting easier,” I admit, running my fingers along the silver wire encasing the stone.

As I process her words, my mind lingers on my mother. I wonder what she’d do in this situation. I mean, I never knew her, so how could I possibly know? But I just wish I could talk to her, ask her for advice, even a hug would suffice.

Wait a minute, maybe there is a way I can talk to her. Or, to get as close as I can to it.

“Is there a place Evangeline would be buried on the island?”

“That was sudden,” Blaire chuckles. “You mean a graveyard? Yeah, there’s one just outside the city. I don’t see why she wouldn’t be buried there.”

I nod, closing my eyes for a moment as I smile.

“Why do you ask?” Blaire’s voice prompts me to open my eyes again.

“I . . . I think I want to go see her.”

A smile stretches across Blaire’s face as excitement lights up her eyes. “I think that’s a really good idea. But can we have breakfast first? I’m starving.”

I hum with a grin. “Of course.”

*

I always thought a place that symbolized death would be much sadder, but sadness is the last thing I can sense here. There’s a quiet sense of calm that fills me as I approach the area, a peace, almost. The entire area is surrounded by trees, filtering the sun through and creating an almost magical kind of light. There’s a gate at the entrance, with flowers of all different kinds weaved through the bars of metal. A delicate stone path leads into the area and diverges through the small upright stones that are scattered throughout the green grass in rows. But they’re not very rigid rows. It’s almost as though each grave has its own special place, like time was taken to find the very best place for whoever was being buried.

I look down at the collection of flowers in my hands. Teagan and her Earth abilities created them for me before I left as something to leave with my mother. They’re made up of a thicker stalk, with light purple flowers climbing their way up the stem in a staggered fashion. The petals are soft to the touch as a sweet, fragrant smell wafts from them, but not overpowering my senses. Teagan told me they were a type of gladiolus, I believe.

I glance at Blaire before looking back to the gate, examining the mixtures of yellow and white and purple that dot the metal.

“Want me to go in with you?”

I shake my head. “I think this is something I need to do myself. But, thank you nonetheless.”

“Of course. I’m just right here if you need me.”

With a breath, I walk through the metal archway of flowers.

I take my time as I saunter through the trees. This place reminds me a little of The Sanctuary, but this place somehow feels even more sacred. Even if I didn’t know the people that lay to rest here, I can still feel . . . something here. It’s not the dead energy that I feel when I heal. It’s something that is alive and well, the presence of past lives. Countless memories are attached to each and every upright stone; ones of joy, remembrance, and everything in between. Leaves rustle as a wind moseys through the trees, creating a chatter, a conversation in a language that I can’t even begin to understand. Chills run up my arms as my breath slows, the sense of peace rushing over me again.

I scan the stones for my mother’s name, but I don’t find myself in any hurry as I run my fingers over the graves. I take in the sensations of each stone, as though they’re coming together to form a mosaic made of every colour imaginable. The auras nearly overwhelm me, but I welcome it, letting the past lives open up my heart, letting their rattling conversations fill my ears.

I don’t think time is something that exists here. This is a place to relive memories with loved ones; a portal to countless past lives.

Before I know it, I’ve made my way to the other side of the space, and I feel a presence so strong in my heart, it’s a wonder it doesn’t try to leap out of my chest.

I turn to the stone nearest to me, and I nearly fall to my knees.

Evangeline.

I clutch my flowers tight against my chest, grounding myself in their sweet smell and their feel in my hands.

I step closer to the stone, noticing the engravings of butterflies floating around her name. I can almost see them coming to life, creating elegant shapes with the wind.

“Hello, Mother.”

My eyes water before I can even say the words, and I quickly wipe my face with the sleeve of my shirt.

“I know this isn’t quite the same as being able to talk to you, but I suppose it’s as close as I can get.”

In the next moment, all the other energy around me fades into the background, being replaced by a never-ending warmth. One that can only accompany unconditional love; it’s the tenderest embrace I could have ever imagined. It can’t stop the tears from falling to the grass below, but they’re tears of happiness, ones that send a tingling feeling radiating all over my body. A small gust of wind whips through my hair, and I can’t help but smile.

I step closer and place my flowers neatly at the base of her stone as the presence around me grows stronger with every passing moment. I let the grass tickle my legs as I sit on my knees, running my fingers over the engraving of her name.

“I’m sure you knew I’d somehow find my way back to Enas,” I chuckle softly, thinking of my one treasured memory of Evangeline from the first days of my life. “But I just, I wish the circumstances were different. I wish I could talk to you, or see you in front of me with my own eyes. Maybe I’ll meet you for real in another life when I leave this world someday.”

I pause, taking several deep breaths. “The truth is, I hate that Father took you away from me. You knew I would have loved this place. And I – well – I’m sorry. Not for him or any of the terrible things he did, but I’m just sorry for everything that happened to you. That he took me away from you and surely broke your heart.”

I glance at the date on the stone . . . a week after my birthday.

The Archives said she died of sickness, and part of me thinks that Father placed a sickness on her, just as he initially did with Rhea. But somehow . . . I know something far less sinister happened here.

Maybe she died of a broken heart.

“For all it’s worth, I think Father did really love you, at least a little. And I know you saw what shred of goodness there was in him. But he loved his power more. And – I just wish things could have been different. I wish I could have stayed here and grown up on Kera, with you. I know you wanted that too. I just wish . . .” I trail off, my eyes watering again. “I wish I could have known you. Or that I could go back in time and unlock every last memory I ever had of you from the beginning days of my life. To see your face in real life with my own eyes, to feel your embrace, even just one more time.”

I take several moments to regain my ability to speak.

“I guess what I’m saying is, I miss you. I miss Soren. And I have no clue where to go from here. I’ve spent my whole life trying to leave the Manor, and now that I have, I just, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what a normal life looks like. But then, I don’t think I was ever destined for a normal life.”

My mind shifts to the interaction with Finn from what feels like years ago, remembering the pride and courage I felt in that moment, knowing I was doing something to help, that I was making things better for my friends.

“Maybe, I think what I want is to make a difference here. I think I want to do something that will help people. And I could do that if I fulfilled the prophecy as the Daughter of Dusk and became a leader. But I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know how to do such a thing.” I pause. “Father and all the others in the family were the ones to lead. I don’t want to be anything like them, no matter what the prophecy says.”

Just then, a moving branch above Evangeline’s grave catches my attention. Sitting perched on a thin branch amongst the leaves, are a pair of golden yellow eyes. They’re surrounded by an almost heart-shaped face of brown and white feathers, with a small beak pointing downwards from the center of its face. It holds its brown wings close to the lighter feathers surrounding its front, with talons digging into the branch, allowing it to balance on such a small surface. It’s not very big; a bit bigger than my hand, I think. I’m almost certain I saw this creature on my first visit here, but I only got a glimpse of it then. Now that I have a closer look, I think this must be an owl of some kind.

It looks at me curiously, standing as still as a statue. It should be intimidating, even coming from a creature so small. But I can’t sense any hostility from its gaze.

Suddenly, the wind embraces my shoulders, but it doesn’t send chills down my spine. Instead, it whispers to me, echoing in my mind. It sounds like my internal voice, but I can tell it’s not entirely me. There’s something else. It’s not like the voice that echoed in my head when Father was trying to compel me. This is something . . . warm. Inviting.

“I missed you so much, my girl. Words can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re staying on Kera. The choice to lead is yours, love. But I do know that being a leader does not make you your father. No matter if you choose to lead or take an alternate path, I’ll be on your side. Always.”

“And I know Soren would be too.”

I glance back up at the owl, who continues to envelop me in its yellow gaze, and I finally realize what is happening around me.

I get up, dusting my knees off as I back up to the pathway. I’m careful to keep my movements slower than usual, lest I scare the owl away.

I think I know what I need to do.

The warmth from earlier grows, holding me in a tight embrace so strong it almost feels real, something that I can touch. I wrap my arms around my shoulders and take a shaky exhale, memorizing everything about this moment. Her energy is so calm, all encapsulating, but not in an overwhelming way. It’s everything I want to be; everything I wish I was.

If it’s the closest I can get to feeling her touch again, then I’ll take it.

My eyes begin to water again as I release my hands from my shoulders. I close my eyes, soaking in the last bits of her energy, before the trees meet my eyes again.

“Thank you, Mother,” I whisper, looking back up at the owl, letting its mysterious gaze envelop me. “I’ll be back, I’ll visit you as much as I can. I promise.”

*

Later in the day, Blaire and I are walking through the forest path that leads to the ocean waterfront. I don’t remember much of the day after speaking with Evangeline, and Blaire hasn’t asked about it yet, but she insisted we go for an evening walk among the trees. Perhaps she knew it was what I needed on some level.

“Can I ask what happened back at the graveyard? It went okay, I hope?” Blaire asks.

“It was more than I ever could have imagined,” I answer as I play with the amulet stone. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to put it into words.”

She nods in understanding. “I can imagine.”

Silence falls over us as the ocean waves roar in the distance.

“I – I think I want to lead.”

Blaire’s eyes light up. “I’m glad to hear it. What made that decision for you? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I just, I don’t know. Seeing Mother gave me the courage I needed to make that decision. I’m the Daughter of Dusk, and I want to help people here. Like that one time I helped you and Mychal in the square. I have the power to do that on a larger scale. This place is already so beautiful, I want to be able to make it even better for everyone.”

She smiles. “I love that. I knew you’d fulfill the prophecy. I just didn’t want to say anything and influence your decision-making process,” she giggles. “But I’ll help you however I can. And I’m sure Mychal and Teagan will too.”

“I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to your kindness,” I admit.

“Well, get used to it, darling. You live here now.” She pauses. “Although, one thing I was going to ask you was about your Father. Now that you’re here, what do you think he’ll do?”

My mind freezes as I bite my lip. “I don’t think he’s going to be happy, that’s for certain. He . . . he might try to come back up to the island. He still feels entitled to Enas and harbours a lot of the leftover hate from the war. In fact, that’s why he came here in the first place. He was planning to take the island, and then he met Evangeline, and everything else happened from there.”

“Wild.”

“Mmhmm. I don’t think my brother and sister are strong enough to come here, but we already know that he is.” My thoughts begin to run in a million directions. “He can only stay here for a few hours at the most without an amulet, but who knows what he could accomplish in that amount of time. God forbid he finds one. But regardless, I have no doubt that Kera would be his next pursuit of power, and then he’d try to take the rest of Enas for himself.”

“It sounds like we need a leader more than ever.”

“Hmm,” I smile. “I’ll need help, though. I certainly couldn’t lead and protect all on my own.”

Blaire grins. “Whatever it is, I’m in. Maybe we could put together a team of people to help you. One from each element, so it’s balanced.”

“That sounds like an excellent way to do things.”

“Of course it does,” she jokes. “I can spar well enough. Maybe I could be your leader for fire,” she suggests shyly, tucking a red curl behind her ear.

I nudge her. “You read my mind; I was just going to ask you.”

Her eyes light up and she takes my hands, jumping up and down. “Oh, this is so exciting!”

I laugh for what I think is the first time since Soren’s death.

“Well, if you’re going to lead, we should probably start with completing that eyesore of construction tape in the square and turning it into a headquarters or something. That could be your spot.”

“Our spot.” I grin.

We exit the treeline and meet the soft sands that precede the sparkling ocean waves, and I gasp as I take in the sights before me. I run toward the shoreline as the mauve sands sink under my feet.

What meets my eyes is more than I ever dreamed a sunset would be. The sun has been cut in half by the horizon, but surrounding it is the most brilliant shade of red I’ve ever seen, meeting the ocean. But as the red reaches up from the horizon, it lightens, fading into orange, to yellow, and even to a light shade of green before meeting with the blue that is still present across the sky. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen, the colours so bright it’s as though they’re setting the sky on fire. The colours reflect on the water, turning the ocean into a myriad of rainbows.

Blaire stands next to me, and I catch her smiling at me before she joins me in looking out to the ocean.

“I think a sunset would be really beautiful. But I don’t think it could compare to you.”

My eyes well with tears as I hold Soren’s amulet against my chest, letting the remnants of his energy hold my heart. But they’re not tears of sadness.

This is my new life now as the Daughter of Dusk. But it doesn’t scare me as it did before. For the first time since Soren died, I’m excited about my future. I’m excited to start this new chapter. Even if Soren can’t be with me in this lifetime, I’m thankful I got to know him, for even the small moments in my life he existed.

He changed my life for the better, whether he realized it or not.

He’s gone, but he still has my heart, and I have his.

As long as he lives on in my memory, I think I can be happy here.

No, I know I can be happy here. That’s my promise.

For Rhea.

For Evangeline.

For Soren.