Chapter Well, That Was Lame
Barty
Getting served coffee by a leader of Mazerene was not how I expected to spend my afternoon. “I’m glad that someone else can enjoy coffee with me,” Akiya commented, returning to his seat with a topped-off mug. “One of the biggest drawbacks of being involved with a vampire is that they can’t partake in things like this.”
I raised my eyebrows at the reaper to show agreement, my mouth latched around the lip of the cup. “It sucks. I want Felix to try my favorite whiskeys, but he can’t.”
Next to me, Goldie tipped her head, expression one of disbelief and confusion. “I can’t believe how lackadaisical this entire organization is towards death,” she muttered. “Akiya just told us he killed the vampires who broke in, and you’re both. . .” She shook her head.
Akiya shrugged a shoulder while he sipped at his drink. “I suppose MMES is casual towards the idea of death. Although, Bartholomew, you are taking the news a little too calmly.”
“If someone broke into my home to kill my partner, I’d react the exact same way as you.” I kept quiet about my intent to murder Richard slowly for what he did to Felix, although Goldie glanced at me, knowing my plan for it. “Tell us what exactly happened, and have you already gotten rid of the bodies?”
“The bodies have already been taken care of, yes.” Akiya rubbed his right temple and settled into his armchair. “They broke in at about three this morning when Evander was working in his office. I was in our bedroom watching a movie, and they came in so silently. I don’t have the senses that you demons have, so I didn’t detect anything peculiar until I heard Brutus barking and noise coming from upstairs where Evan was. When I got to his office, he was already bound and gagged.”
His eyes flashed from dark brown to that signature golden color reapers had. “I killed one without thinking about it, a younger vampire. I didn’t gather much from his soul when it left because I didn’t care enough about him. The other one, Travis, was a newly formed vampire, and he told me that the BRF had sent them. He reported that they’re attempting to free Madeline from prison and earn immunity from MMES, so they thought it smart to capture my husband and use him as a pawn. Nobody in that group told them what I was, so they believed they were safe.”
“They wanted to send those two to their deaths, then.”
“And I gladly allowed it to happen.” A shadow crossed his face before he sighed and took another sip. “After that, I freed Evander and called the Mazerene clean up crew to collect the bodies, then contacted Colin to make a report. The clean-up crew came, removed the bodies, and I’ve been awake since then, waiting on the two of you to get here.”
Goldie sighed and stretched her legs out. She admired the Council, so I wondered what her thoughts were on Akiya’s actions. “If Colin had called you with this scenario on his end, what would your response be for him?”
“I’d have him temporarily suspended for it, which is what he should do with me. As leaders of Mazerene, Colin, Philip, and myself are all looked up to as examples of how supernatural beings should behave. We set the rules and expectations, and we will handle this in a fashion that would match that of a private Mazerene citizen. There will be a trial to determine that what I did was in self-defense, then punishment. Typically, that would be counseling to make sure that the defendant is mentally stable after what occurred since it can be traumatic, as well as establishing that what they did was not necessarily typical behaviors for them.”
He offered Goldie the smallest hint of a smile. “But let me worry about my consequences, detective. You have other things to tend to, such as notifying the demons in the area that their safety is at risk and informing them of their offer to stay in Hell until this is all over.” Gold eyes flicked to me. “If you speak to your parents, please let them know that Mazerene appreciates them pulling favors to allow demons to return to Earth once the BRF has been reigned in. I understand that it’s been challenging allowing demons to return once they leave.”
There was still a pang when he brought up the goodwill that my parents were offering for every other demon. Except for me. “Yeah, I’ll let them know,” I muttered, placing my mug on the coaster, having no intention to talk to my parents still. “If you don’t mind printing off the census for us, Goldie and I can get started on that demon list before it gets dark. We have a lot of ground to cover.”
The reaper nodded and retreated upstairs, presumably to his or Evander’s office, leaving Goldie and I alone briefly.
“Are you okay?” I whispered to her, her brow set in a deep line. “I mean, look, Akiya had to do what he had to do. You didn’t have any problems when I said I was going to end Richard for hurting Felix.”
Shaking her head, she tucked those amber curls behind her ears and placed her cup next to mine. “It isn’t that.” She wiped her palms on her plaid pants. “Remember when we first started looking for Madeline, and I kept getting that feeling that something wasn’t right? I feel that again. I have since we got into Florida.”
“It may be the humidity. Or the state itself. It’s not a very pleasant place to be. It’s where old people go to die, and their biggest mascot is a fucking alligator.”
Exasperation crossed her face again, those bright green eyes rolling around the sockets so hard that I thought they’d fall out. “No, you dweeb, that isn’t what I meant. Look, be careful, please. Don’t get a big head about yourself.”
Placing my hand atop hers, I gave it a gentle squeeze. “I told you, I’m gonna do better this time around. I know you got me.”
After Akiya gave us the printed list of demons, Goldie and I got started on it. The list contained about two dozen names of every demon within a thirty-mile radius, ranging to the south of Jacksonville and to the east of Palatka and the St. Johns River. It was a lot of ground to cover in the five hours before it got dark, but at least when it became nighttime, we’d have Felix with us. Some of the demons were within the same household, too.
It was simple at first. The first demons we visited were adults, older than I was, living alone and trying to exist on Earth. One or two of them had noticed the recent uptick in vampires but did like what Cade and I did and installed security systems and only traveled during the day. They accepted our cards to call us if they were concerned about their safety.
When we started on the families, at about three that afternoon, it became more difficult. Moms and dads, with their babies in their arms or teenagers eavesdropping in the background, began to open their doors for us. There were several mixed families, ones where humans married demons and had little half-demon toddlers in these picturesque suburban homes where they had probably assumed they’d always be safe. Multiple demons outright refused passage back to Hell since their human family members couldn’t accompany them.
It was becoming wearing, having to tell them that their bubble of security, the very one I thought I had, wasn’t as impregnable as they initially assumed. After three or four households that involved children were informed of the BRF, Goldie had to stop leaving the car, depending on me to be the one to tell them and walk them through the paperwork of temporarily emigrating back to Gehenna.
At one point, I had turned around while waiting for someone to answer a door and spotted her dabbing at the corners of her eyes. While I had been worried about mine and Cade’s well-being, I had forgotten how empathetic Goldie could get. She had been working on this case the whole time I had been in Hell, the stress from it having worn on her heavily.
“You wanna take a break?” I asked at about five that afternoon, having visited almost everyone on the census list. “We can check on everyone else tomorrow.”
She sighed and nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. “I’m sorry. It’s just, the kids. They’re looking to their parents to know what to do, and some of the parents we talked to didn’t know their course of action. We’re asking them to give up their normal lives for who knows how long.”
“Hey, I understand. Trust me. But we’re doing what we can for now, and we were able to help a few families get set up in Hell, so we know they’ll be safe.” I patted her leg for comfort. “You’re doing amazing.”
Her smile was stiff and fake, but it was something, at least. “Treat me to dinner?” she asked, voice thick.
I snorted and started back in the direction of St. Augustine, figuring we had about two hours before Felix showed up, so dinner was an option We drove through tiny towns on the way back, ones that consisted of cemeteries, a convenience store or hardware shop, and dilapidated homes; towns that were too small for even demons to consider living in to avoid humans. At one point, Goldie rolled down her window to allow in some semblance of the fall weather that Florida offered, which was laughable.
“Why are you slowing down?” Goldie rolled her window back up, waiting while the car slowed to a stop in front of a derelict motel. It was a pitiful motel, only one story and shaped like a horseshoe. The walls were graying, the plaster destroyed, and the sign had missing letters. It was now the “’isher an’s eep”, a few miles off St. John’s River.
“Would you believe me if I told you that I smell a whole bunch of vampires and some demons in there?”
Goldie grimaced and stared at the clock. “We have about an hour before dusk. I’ll give us forty-five minutes.”
“Keep in mind, they can still wake up during the day, so tread lightly.”
The motel’s lobby was small, enough for two wooden chairs, an information desk, and a brochure cabinet. The electricity didn’t work in it anymore, and it looked cleaned out from where it used to be fully functional. Dust and stale water greeted my nose, but the odor of vampire wasn’t in this section.
We moved to one of the rooms. Goldie was able to use a vine to help pop the lock on the shabby door handle, opening to a dingy, tattered room. There was a bed, a desk, and a TV that had been busted, but nobody was inside. The next room revealed the same thing, sans TV.
Our third room that we broke into finally had some success. On the bed were two figures, tied up with IV bags propped up next to them.
“Oh my god,” Goldie whispered, entering the room before I could stop her. She knelt by the bed, fingers at their throats to check for a pulse. “These are the two women from Georgia. Ruby and Thomasina. Felix hunted everywhere for them.”
The tang of magic laced in the air told me they were still alive, but the bags of blood that had been collected from the needles in their arms said they were barely hanging in. “Unhook them from those IV bags, I’ll call Felix and Akiya. If they’re here, there may be more demons in the other rooms. Try to wake them up.”
Stepping back into the fading sunlight, I dialed up Akiya since I knew he wasn’t too far from us if we needed his assistance. He was relieved to hear that we had found the two demons, stating that he was already in the car to come aid us.
To my disappointment, Felix didn’t answer. I sent him a text and a link to my location so he could track us down when he eventually woke up.
When I returned to the room, one of the women was sitting on the bed, her face buried in her sepia-colored hands, shoulders shaking from sobs. Goldie sat beside her, rubbing her arms, trying to ease her misery as best as she could. The room was warm from the Florida climate and Goldie’s magic. “Thomasina, this is Detective Palmer. He’s a demon, just like you and Ruby. I’m going to contact your families to let them know that we found you, then Detective Palmer is going to help you make a portal to get to Hell or to your family, whatever you need.”
“I wanna go home,” Thomasina cried. “I’m so tired. My body hurts.”
Goldie’s jaw set tightly. “I know. We’re going to get you to safety, both of you.”
“Thomasina, let’s wake up Ruby, then we’ll get started on those portals for you two,” I offered, kneeling next to the distressed woman. I nodded at Goldie to go ahead and call their contacts.
Ruby was a little tougher to stir than Thomasina was. She was a petite woman, barely occupying the bed she and Thomasina were in. I was able to wake her after a few moments, still pissed that if I had regular magic, this would have been much easier. As it was, I’d have to use their blood to send them home since my magic wasn’t good enough.
There was still thirty minutes until nighttime. We had plenty of time to check on them, Goldie already moving to the fourth room to unlock it.
Two separate portals were created for the women. Portals required blood to create, although they didn’t have to be large, and it made it easy to travel as a demon. If Cadence were here, she would have drawn them out much faster than I had since she had more practice with them. There were intricate, tiny details that had to go into portal making so that we as demons landed in the correct spot. Mine were messy, the blood painting of an amateur. Both women had been patient with me when I asked for their addresses, and neither seemed too distressed when I said that they may not end up exactly at their doorstep. Accuracy was also not a high point for me.
But damn, I was proud of my handiwork.
“There’s still three other demons that we know of in the next rooms over,” Ruby informed me, her dark eyebrows curled upwards. She and Thomasina stood by their respective portals, waiting to swipe their blood over it to activate them. “I can’t thank you enough for rescuing us. Please be safe, detective. These are ruthless monsters who don’t care about you.”
I swallowed hard. “These guys are a special breed of evil. Thankfully, most vampires never would have bothered you.” Never the words I’d expect to hear myself say. Felix would be so fucking proud of me if he heard them.
Still, it didn’t prevent the sharp chill that shot up my spine when Goldie’s scream for me cut through the silence of this room. All my fear from Richard sprung back into me, a cold sweat forming along my neck. My heart raced. “Through the portals, now,” I hissed to the two women, darting out of the room, following that warm honey fragrance to my nymph.
She was found in the sixth room, up the hall from where Thomasina and Ruby had been. Both arms were extended out in her defensive pose, her chest heaving. “They sneaked up on me.”
In the middle of the room, where the bed was now a shattered clump of mattress stuffing and wood, a tangle of vines had coiled themselves around two humans, trapping them in place. They struggled in their floral prison, cussing at Goldie and struggling to escape. “Nice work, Tex,” I complimented, stepping closer to the cluster. “Are you with Richard and the BRF?”
“Fuck off,” one of them snapped at me.
“Ooh, I’m sorry, that answer is not on the board.” I came closer, magic scurrying to my fingers. Even if I had no proper control over it, they didn’t need to know that. “Let’s try for the right answer this time. Are you with Richard and the BRF?” Lifting my hand, I allowed them to get a better look at the claws that had grown.
“You a demon?” the other human asked, fear now taking hold of him.
“Survey says!” I pointed to Goldie, who imitated a buzzer. “Sorry, that is also not an answer. Third time’s a charm.” The familiar prick of my horns emerging from my skull came through. Heat was building in my stomach, waiting to explode. “I’ll give you one more try before I just set this plant on fire. Richard? BRF? Sound familiar?”
The gun clicking behind me made my shoulders sag. “Will you take being shot as an answer?” A new voice from behind me, still human, judging from the scent.
“I don’t care much for that answer, no,” I retorted, spinning to look at the new one. He was bulkier than the trapped humans. A little harder to take down. “Now consider that you may miss and can hit your pa—oh, you stupid motherfucker!” Being shot never felt good, especially in the kneecap. The pain ricocheted up my right thigh, then back down my calf, my magic already in action to repair what it could. I had to land on my healthy knee to keep from falling. “Fuckin’ Hawkeye over here with that aim, shit!”
“Barty!” Goldie started, the gun clicking behind her stopping her from aiding me.
The gunman looked pleased with himself. “Come on, you two. I don’t think Richard will be too thrilled if there’s demon blood being wasted.”