Chapter 117
I was still furning as I thought about what had gone down at Dax’s place. I had gotten a text from my people that they had managed to rescue the captives and retrieve the goods without a hitch. They had even gotten away safely, without anybody dying I could have just walked away, left Dax and his shenanigans, he wouldn’t have been able to stop me.
But I couldn’t. I was too angry. Dax had messed with me, gotten me to leave my house and come to him like I was beneath him. He had threatened my people, messed with my goods, those were enough reasons for me to kill him there and then, to
hurt him.
None of those annoyed me as much as him looking at her lustfully, his eyes had raked over her like she was a piece of meat, and it had made my blood boil.
I remembered feeling a surge of rage, a burning desire to hurt Dax, to make him pay. And so, I had ordered that the port be blown up. I was so glad I bought those explosives. It was a reckless move, I knew that now. But in that moment, I hadn’t cared.
I sighed, rubbing my temples. I had a lot to think about, a lot to fix. But one thing was for sure I wouldn’t let Dax get away with what he had done. I would make him pay, no matter else I had to blow up. His entire existence just irritated me.
I thought about my conversation with Kira on our way back. What really got under my skin was how she had used the word “we” like we were a team, like we were together, Newsflash, Kira: we’re not a thing. We’re not a team. We’re not even close. We’re just two people who happened to be working together, and that’s it. I think.
Her words made it sound like she knew why I blew up the port and I would rather claw my own eyes out than let her know. I was panicked.
I had lashed out at her, I knew that. I hadn’t meant to be mean, but I needed to make it clear that we were not a “we” I needed to establish boundaries, and if being a little harsh was what it took, then so be it. I couldn’t let her get too close, couldn’t let her think that we were something we’re not.
I remembered the look on her face, the hurt and confusion in her eyes. But I pushed that aside, told myself it was necessary I couldn’t afford to let my emotions get the better of me, not now, not ever. I had to keep my distance.
But even as I thought that, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had hurt her, that I had been too harsh. I pushed that aside, told myself it was just guilt, just my conscience trying to get the better of me. But deep down, I knew it was more than that. I knew that I had felt something for Kira, something I couldn’t quite explain. And that’s what scared me the most.
I didn’t want to feel anything for her. I didn’t want to get close to her. But somehow, Kira had gotten under my skin, and I couldn’t shake her off.
As soon as we got home, I followed Kira up the stairs, my eyes fixed on her as she walked. I watched as she shut the door behind her, and I stood there, frozen, wondering what to do next. Part of me wanted to knock on the door, to apologize for yelling at her, to make things right. But another part of me refused to give in. I wasn’t sorry, I told myself. I had done what needed to be done.
But the image of the hurt in her eyes lingered, haunting me. I couldn’t shake it off, no matter how hard I tried. I felt a pang of guilt, but I pushed it aside. I couldn’t let myself feel guilty.
I thought about how Kira had been getting under my skin, how she had been driving me mad. I thought about how I needed to get her out of my head, how I needed to focus. And that’s why I pulled out my phone and dialled Sophia’s number. I needed a distraction something to take my mind off Kira and the way she was affecting me
As I waited for Sophia to arrive. I stood there, battling with myself. I wanted to knock on the door, to talk to Kira, to make dings right, But I couldn’t I wouldn’t.
When Sophia arrived, I let her in, and we went to my room. I didn’t think she would come seeing as she said she had a boyfriend the last time but who was I to pry? I just needed some refreshing company and some unfthered opinions. I tried to focus on what she was saying, but my mind kept wandering bark to Kira, to the way she had looked at me, to the burt in her eyes.
Sophia wasn’t helping either, all she seemed to want to talk about was what her boyfriend did all week and I tried to listen at first but I gave up and went straight to the guest room..
As I woke up to the tantalizing aroma of toast, I knew Sophia was already up and cooking. She was getting too comfortable, I thought to myself, but I pushed the thought aside and headed downstairs. My stomach was growling, and I needed to eat something or someone.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee and toasted bread filled the air, making my mouth water.
But as soon as I set my eyes on Kira, my hunger took a backseat. My heart started racing. She looked beautiful, her hair messy from sleep, her eyes still half-closed. She was sitting at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. her gaze fixed on some point in front of her. I wanted to pull her close, to kiss her till we were both out of breath. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I knew those thoughts were dangerous, and I couldn’t let myself go down that path.
“Morning. Clyde. Sophia chimed, oblivious to my internal struggle. “I made toast and eggs. Help yourself.”
I grunted a response, trying to play it cool, and grabbed a slice of toast. Kira was mumbling something, but I didn’t pay attention. I couldn’t afford to. I needed to keep my distance, to maintain the walls I had built around myself.
Thanks, Sophia.” I said, trying to focus on my breakfast. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Oh, it’s no problem,” Sophia replied, smiling. “I like cooking. Besides, someone has to take care of you.”
“And her. She added like Kira was an afterthought.
Sophia chatted on, oblivious to the tension between Kira and me. She talked about her plans for the day, about the errands she needed to run. I nodded and grunted, trying to appear interested.
But my mind was elsewhere. It was on Kira, on the way she looked, on the way she made me feel. I knew I needed to shake off these thoughts, to focus on the task at hand. But I couldn’t.
I went upstairs, trying to shake off the thoughts that had been plaguing me since I saw Kira this morning. I needed to clear my head, to focus on something else. But as I reached my room. I couldn’t help but think about her. I thought about the way her boobs looked in that top, the way she made me feel. I thought about the way I had treated her, the way I had hurt her.
I sat down on my bed, trying to calm myself down. I took a few deep breaths, trying to clear my head. But my mind kept wandering back to Kira. It was like an addiction at this point, I needed help.
I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I had made a mistake, that I had let my emotions get the better of me.
As I sat there, I heard a knock on the door. It was Sophia. “Hey, Clyde, can I come in?” she asked but she didn’t wait for a response before barging in, typical Sophia. I had only known her a few days and even I knew she as trouble but she was at least someone that spoke to me with ease.
“What’s up?” she asked, sitting down next to me on the bed.
I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Nothing, just thinking”
Sophia looked at me, her eyes narrowing. “About Kira?”
I nodded, feeling a pang of guilt
Sophia sighed. “Clyde, you need to talk to her. You need to apologize.”
I shook my head, feeling a surge of anger. “I don’t need to do anything”
I did bring her to hear her opinion but now that I was, I realized how pointless that might have been. I was going to do what