Chapter 29
'When the caterpillar thought its life was about to end, it turned into a butterfly.'
'Sofia don't!'
My eyelids felt heavy, his voice heavier as the name he called me by repeated in my head. I wanted to move, to get up but I had no strength left in me. My head was throbbing in pain and the room spun around as my eyes fluttered open.
Sofia. Her name.. my name. I couldn't fight back the tears that ran down my cheeks. Memory after memory flooded my mind, washing out every other thought and putting together the pieces of the puzzle that I'd spent weeks trying to fix.
I spent so long trying to find out just who Sofia was and all along, I have been Sofia. I am Sofia. I remembered everything, everything that happened. I wanted to smack my head into the wall until I forgot again. He really had protected me for so long, I really had betrayed him.
'Sofia don't!'
I could still feel the fear I felt as he launched towards me, smacking my head off the wall. The trauma to my head must've been the reason why I had lost my memory and now here it was, another hit to the head and I could remember every single little detail. Everything made sense now. Everything added up together.
I pushed myself up on the bed into a sitting position, looking at myself in the mirror. I was truly terrifying to look at. There was dry blood in my hair, clogging up chunks of it. Blood on my bra and my panty. My lips were popped and bruised. My face was bruised from the slaps. My wrists and ankles were bruised from the restrains. My arm was bruised from the many injections I'd received. My collarbone was scarred with a fairly large 'C' and my back.. well, I didn't even want to take a look at my back, I knew it was going to be covered in whip marks. I looked like death.
'Hows your head?' I jumped up at the sound of his voice. Goosebumps covered my skin as I turned to see him sitting on a chair near my bed. I hadn't noticed him at all. Maybe it was the darkness of the room or maybe it was the fact that I was so deep in my head that I hadn't realised there was a large Chase sitting in the same room as me.
Before I could answer him, I saw his face right before he smacked my head into the wall. I saw things I had witnessed in that room. Pictures, videos that played on the many monitors in the room that I assumed belonged to him. Repeated videos of the people he had killed. The girls he had raped. The tapes continuously played on the monitors, I saw what he did to them. I saw it all.
Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn't take the suffocating air in this room. My insides were churning with the overwhelming memories of my past that flashed into my head and the images of the things he'd taped himself doing to those people. I wanted to throw up.
'I take that as you're feeling better, Sofia.' For the first time I saw a real smirk on his face, one that lasted more than a few seconds as he rose to his feet and walked over to me. I tried to rush off the bed, to get as far as I could from him but he was too quick, he'd grabbed a hold of my ankle before I could blink, pulling me down towards the edge of the bed.
'Where are you going in such a rush?' His taunting words were stifling me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my voice to speak out the words I wanted to stay, it's like I had become mute. The quick movements were making my head hurt even more and I couldn't stop myself from trembling beneath his touch.
'I'm going to need you to be a good girl for this.' He grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked it over his head, I already knew where this was going and I was going to be anything but a 'good girl.' Quite frankly, I was scared to death. This was part of the things he did before he ended those girls life's. He'd already marked me, did he need to do this to seal the deal? Was it part of his sick plan? To rape me before he killed me? I didn't plan to find out.
Kicking into him I tried to reach for the one place that always worked but he grabbed my legs this time, pressing so hard onto my bones I thought he was going to break it.
'Not this time.' He yanked my legs apart and pulled me further down to the edge of the bed, he leaned over me and held my throat in his hand with a look in his eyes that said, game over. 'Don't fight me, Sofia.' I hated him calling me that. I could see the resentment in his eyes every time he called me that.
'For your own sake, don't fight me.' He squeezed my throat, almost as if to sink his statement into me. Then without another word, he grabbed my bra in his hand and ripped it off me. I reached for my breasts instantly, my dignity completely being stepped over as he revealed one of the last pieces of me to his eyes. He grabbed my wrists in one hand and pinned them above my head.
'Noooo!' I screamed as he mercilessly ripped my panty off too, shoving the remains of it in my mouth and shutting me up. Just like he had done to the girls. Tears absconded down the side of eyes, I hated crying. I hated feeling so weak. Everything i'd done had failed and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't let him beat me down again.
I thrashed my body about like a wild animal, that seemed to anger him as his eyes landed on mine. I froze when I saw him reaching in his pocket, holding up the injection in his hand, he made sure I saw what was about to happen to me.
'Looks like I can't trust you to be conscious.' He jabbed the needle into my arm and I shook with the pain that resided in my sensitive arms. My head fell back and my thrashing slowed down into sluggish movements, he still had my arms pinned up, as if not trusting that I wouldn't still try to fight him but I had lost all sense of rivalry. My body felt numb and my vision was blurry, but that didn't stop me from witnessing him undoing his belt.
'I'm about to show you Sofia, just how much you belong to me.'
'They accused me of this for so long, I bet you believed them.' I hadn't believed them. I knew that he never touched me. I knew that everything my adopted father had said about Chase was lies.
'Do you know who really touched you?' His question felt like thorns to my throbbing soul.
'He did.' I closed my eyes as he gripped my thighs, I knew he was angry at the memory, I knew it was hurting him and I knew the truth, I always knew the truth.
'He touched you Sofia! He did things to you and blamed them on me!' His voice was louder now, his grip tighter on my thighs, it was starting to hurt.
'He molested you!' I couldn't breathe. His words hurt. They hurt more than he could ever think. I knew what had happened to me. I just didn't want to believe that it was wrong. I was so young and so naive, I wanted to accept it. If I thought it was ok then it wouldn't hurt anymore and so that's what I did, I told myself that it was ok, I told myself that, that's what dads did to their kids.
'I killed him for you, I killed them both for you.' His head dropped and he rubbed over the redness on my thighs that had formed from the intensity of his grip. I could feel his pain, his sorrow.
'Then you turned your fucking back on me!' He growled into the silence. Getting a hold of my waist, he pushed himself towards me. His eyes full of rage, my heart full of cracks.
He rubbed himself against my opening, I could feel the heat of him in between my thighs. I swallowed down the nightmare playing out before me and tried to scream but nothing came out apart from a small whimper. The room spun around as I felt him pushing into me, he waited there for a second and then grabbing my thighs, he thrusted his entire length into me. Pain surged through my insides as he filled me up with his size.
He growled out while I silently cried, watching him pick up pace, thrusting into me back and forth, never stopping. He was looking right into my eyes. There was no apology behind his stare, there was no mercy, he pounded into me, stretching out my walls. It still hurt, he was too big. I never thought I'd lose my virginity like this. My heart no longer existed as his breathing got louder and his thrusts got rougher.
Turning my face to the side, I looked into the mirror. My ripped panty still in my mouth. He was tearing my insides, emptying his rage into each and every single thrust. His muscles had tensed up and his veins look as though they'd rip out of his skin any minute as he continued to force his way into the tight confined space in between my legs.
Leaning down, he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me up against him, placing my arms around his neck. My head tilted back due to the amount of drugs he had injected me with. He held my head in his hand, pushing it onto his shoulder and then wrapped his arm around my neck, with his other arm holding my waist, he started his thrusts again, pushing in and out.
My tears dropped down my face and dampened his already sweaty skin. He didn't seem to notice for he was too consumed in doing one thing; torturing me. I could feel his solid member touching my walls as he slid inside me over and over again, I felt nauseous so I closed my eyes, closed my eyes in hopes of never opening them again.
Placing me back down onto the bed, he got on top of me this time, wrapping his fingers around my throat whilst his length rushed in and out of me. He kept going and going, by the time it came to an end, I couldn't feel it anymore. I was barely conscious, the room was on a constant spin and I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or awake.
Another rough strike, another squeeze on my throat and I felt him fill me up with his semen as he stiffened up and growled into my ear. He pressed his weight onto my body, momentarily falling limp against me. When his weight lifted off me, I knew he was done. He did what he wanted with me then left. Leaving me to drown in the depths of my despair as I lay there motionless. My tears being my only companion and my mind, my only enemy.