Can't Help Falling For You

Blaine was sitting, a tub of almost emptied Belgium chocolate Haagan Dazs in his lap, the television on but he wasn't really watching it. Trying not to cry, he took spoonful after spoonful of the ice cream. Kurt had basically ignored him at NYADA since their 'break' had started and Blaine felt like he was completely worthless in Kurt's eyes. He felt so small and insignificant and the only thing that made him feel any better was eating. He just couldn't stop. His heart was hurting him so much right now, all he wanted was for this feeling to go away. The feeling that he was all alone and unloved. That he wasn't good enough for anyone to love. So he kept shovelling the insanely good ice cream into his mouth. He didn't even really care that he was gaining weight. I mean, who actually wanted him anyway? No one, that's who. He had tried to put on his Capri pants this morning but he couldn't get them past his upper thighs, so he had borrowed a pair of Sam's sweats. They were more comfortable anyway and Sam wouldn't mind. He decided one thing there and then. He would eat till he died, because let's face it he had nothing to live for any more anyway. Not without Kurt.

Almost a week had gone by since Blaine had come home looking really upset and Sam was getting incredibly worried about the boy. He had managed to eat what Sam thought was probably about ten times his body weight in junk food and more. That was all he saw Blaine do these days. Eat. Sam wasn't stupid, he knew something very serious was up. Blaine had missed pot roast Monday with the others, claiming not to be feeling very well. After seeing all the junk food, he was ingesting, Sam wasn't surprised. But he didn't seem to be hanging out with Kurt at all, which immediately sent alarm bells ringing inside of Sam's head. Those two boys had been practically inseparable for months, ever since both Sam and Blaine had moved to the Big Apple after graduation, but now... It was like they were strangers. Sam had also noticed that Blaine had started borrowing his sweats and the blonde was worried that it was because Blaine had put on so much weight he couldn't fit into his own clothes any more. He needed to have a serious heart to heart with his best friend and quickly before it got any worse.

Coming home from his latest job he saw Mercedes sitting on the couch, watching some random programme on the TV. He was surprised that Blaine wasn't there, he had seemed to make the couch his vegetation spot when Sam wasn't around.

“Hey Cedes. Do you know where Blaine is?” He inquired as he came to sit beside the diva. She shook her head, not taking her eyes of the screen.

“Sorry Sam, I don't know where he is right now.”

He nodded and they sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, Sam shuffling around on his seat and Mercedes glaring at him occasionally when he jostled her. “Um... have you noticed anything about Blaine lately?” Mercedes sighed and switched the television off since she knew Sam would not stop pestering her till he had gotten all the information he wanted from her. She turned to face him, giving him all of her attention.

“No, why? Well I suppose he's been a little sad lately but that's not really surprising is it? I mean what with him and Kurt taking a break...” She shrugged and furrowed her brow when she realised that Sam didn't know any of this. From the way his eyebrows had shot right up his forehead, she knew that he was genuinely surprised at that piece of news.

“Wait, what? Kurt and Blaine have split up?” He quizzed her, looking incredulous. She rolled her eyes at his misinterpretation of what she had said.

“Not split up Sam, taking a break.” Confusion washed over Sam's face. Wasn't taking a break and breaking up the same thing? It had always meant that in his world anyway and he had been dumped way more times than Mercedes or Blaine. He was like a freaking connoisseur in how to get dumped or dump someone. But mainly get dumped.

“Isn't that kinda the same thing?” He blurted out and listened as Mercedes sighed, glaring a little at Sam in exasperation.

“Look I don't know where your bestie is, alright? Now can I watch my program again in peace?” Sam acquiesced, standing up and sauntering upstairs to Blaine's room. He knew the boy wouldn't mind Sam hanging out in there to avoid a rather grumpy Mercedes. Maybe she was not so cool about them all in the same place after all. He decided he would give the girl a little more space for the mean time. If Blaine had been dumped by Kurt, he would need some cheering up anyhow and what type of best friend would he be if he didn't try at the very least.

Blaine got back from the shops laden down with food. All the worst food in the world. Cakes and chocolates and crisps. But he just didn't care anymore. Nobody wanted him anyway. He trudged wearily up the stairs, getting a little puffed by the time he reached the top stair, and shuffling into his bedroom so he could collapse on his bed and place himself into a food coma. He flopped down on his bed but was surprised when he saw Sam already on it, looking at him with a slight mixture of worry, sympathy and horror. Yeah ok, so he was fat now. Like he cared.

“Dude, what’s in the bag?” Blaine huffed and frowned darkly at his friend who was quizzing him accusingly.

“What are you, my mother?” He spat out but regretted it when Sam's face grew upset. “I'm sorry Sam I just haven't had the best time lately.”

“Yeah I know. Mercedes told me. Why didn't you say anything to me Blaine?” Sam asked, the hurt evident on his face as well as in his voice. Sam had never been good at disguising his feelings from others. Blaine felt a little guilty. Sam was supposed to be his best friend but he had said nothing to him about it. He guessed he didn't want to be a burden on his friend, especially since he had just split from Mercedes as well.

“I'm sorry, I... I don't know why...” He whispered out, suddenly his feet had become the most interesting thing in the world and he couldn't take his eyes off of them. He couldn't bear to see his friend looking worried about him. He didn't want to place that weight on Sam's shoulders.

“Blaine you know I'm always there for you dude, no matter what. That's what bros are for, right?” Sam clambered over next to where Blaine had slumped down on his bed and placed his hand on top of the golden eyed boys. His friend, despite having gained weight, more than Sam had even realised, seemed so small right now and very vulnerable. Tears were gathering in his eyes and Sam knew it was only a matter of time before the dam broke. “Blaine you need to stop eating all this junk. It's not good for you. You're substituting food for love so you won't feel the pain from the loss of Kurt. I know it hurts like a bitch right now but it's something you're just going to have to work through if you want to move on with your life.”

Blaine sat silent for a few seconds, his eyes still glued to his feet. “What if I don't want to move on?” Sam tried in vain to boost the morale of his beaten down looking friend by smiling widely at him and sliding his arm round Blaine's shoulders, squeezing the smaller boy tightly in a half hug. It didn't work very well though, Blaine still felt like crap. Kurt's words still seemed like deep wounds in his heart and the only thing that dulled it was eating.

“You're going to have to Blaine. I'm saying this because I love you dude; you need to lose weight and stop eating all this garbage. I love you whatever weight you are, you know that, but I'm starting to really worry about your health. It's not good to eat this crap twenty-four seven Blaine. You're gonna give yourself a heart attack or something.”

“Good... Then I won't feel like a have this hole inside my chest where all my insides have been ripped out.” Sam sat looking horrified at Blaine, and a dull ache of guilt started to seep into the smaller boy's heart. He didn't really want to die and the thought of leaving his friends in pain, especially Sam, was almost unbearable in itself.

“Blaine don't joke about that. It's not funny. What would I do without you huh? We're a team, you and I. I couldn't get through all this without you.” The tears started welling up in Blaine's eyes as Sam's word touched him but the blonde had no idea what he was feeling right now. But then how could he? Before he knew it Blaine was blurting it all out to Sam. Everything he had kept inside for the past week and even longer.

“But I feel so worthless Sam. I told Kurt everything. That I felt small compared to him, that I feel like I'm completely insignificant beside him. Like I'm a piece of shit on the bottom of his shoe. I told him about how I'm finding it hard to fit in at NYADA, in New York, especially when he's so confident all of a sudden. I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. And I was right, wasn't I? He doesn't want me. He doesn't need me. I laid my whole heart out to him Sam and what did it get me? Alone, like I always end up. I thought he actually loved me. He's the only person that I ever thought loved me and it turns out that he thinks I'm a pain to be around. That all I do is moan and whine. I'm not good enough for him. I mean look at me, I'm a tub of lard!” Blaine felt the bubble of the sob as it erupted from his chest loudly and Sam's strong arms wrapped themselves around him comfortingly as he sobbed into his best friend’s shoulder. He was so glad he had Sam. Sam would never abandon him, never tell him he wasn't worth anything. Sam actually cared about him. He snuggled closer to his friend’s chest, his head tucked underneath Sam's chin and against his best friend’s heart. To Blaine this had felt more like home and safety to him than anything else in a long time and he found that he really loved this feeling. Sam felt like home to him and it was something Blaine had always wanted. To feel like he had come home. Only Sam was his friend and nothing more. Could he ever feel like he had come home to Sam? Shaking his head, a little he tried to put such thoughts out of his head. He wasn't thinking straight right now after all; he was hurting badly.

“Oh B, I can't believe you think so little of yourself. You're awesome. You always have time for the people you love, and trust me when I say there are people who love you back. You put everyone else before you. You're like the best friend I've ever had. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and you will never judge me. You've never made me feel stupid, ever. You're the only person who's never done that.” Blaine frowned deeply as Sam revealed that and he could feel the anger begin to burst out from inside him. He wanted to protect his friend from all the horrible people in the world, he always had.

“You're not stupid Sam. I hate it when you say that. It's not true. They're all idiots if they think that.” He spat out venomously and Sam smiled wide, calming Blaine down a little.

“And Kurt's an idiot too if he doesn't see how amazing you are. And you know what I say, screw them all! I'm taking you to the gym at NYADA and we are going to do a new exercise regime together. We'll get really fit and healthy and tell them all to go to hell. You with me?” Sam stuck his hand out towards Blaine to shake confidently as the smaller boy looked down at his belly nervously. He knew that Sam was only doing this to help him lose weight but it felt good that he cared enough to go through this with him.

“...Yeah. I'm with you.” Blaine smiled affectionately up at his friend after a brief hesitation. He was going to do this, he would get fit again, after all he was a fighter right? He gripped Sam's had firmly, shaking it twice.

“Nightbird and Blonde Chameleon all the way.” He giggled at Sam's silly joke. That's what they were though, a dynamic duo and they always would be.

“Thanks Sam.”

“Yeah well, I love ya B.” Blaine blushed as Sam said those words. He knew it meant as a friend but his heart couldn't help but race a little at those three little words. Sam ruffled his hair, messing up the gel and letting the curls go wild and free in a halo around Blaine's head and Blaine started patting the frizz down as Sam stood, picking up his sports bag. “Come on dude, get a bag together, we're starting now.” Sighing Blaine got off the bed and shoved a few things into a duffle bag. Once he was done he followed Sam down the stairs and towards the gym.

Blaine felt like a tub of lard as he walked through the gym towards the locker room. Once inside it only got even worse. There they all were with abs and pecs and toned physiques and he was stuck looking like a huge, fat, round beached whale or something similar. Especially in front of Sam. He watched in horror as Sam began to strip down to put his gym clothes on. There was no way he could let Sam see him looking like this. He just couldn't. He was too self-conscious. He ran to the toilets, barricading himself in one of the cubicles to change. He hated the way he looked. He was so short and plump, not like most of the other men here. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes as he changed. He wished he were someone else, anyone else right now. Someone taller, or thinner, or better looking.

“Come on B. You nearly finished?” Sam asks softly through the cubicle door, making Blaine jump out of his skin.

Sighing he looked down at himself. He looked ridiculous. His T-shirt was tight around his middle, showing that Blaine's belly had definitely grown in size and he had had to roll up the ends of Sam's sweats he was borrowing so that they fit his shorter frame. He looked like a clown. “Ok, alright already. I'm coming out... You promise not to laugh?” Blaine nervously unlocked the door, not daring to look at his friend as he opened the door wide.

“I promise.” Blaine stepped out, the tears that had welled up in his eyes, spilling over. “B, I have a spare T-shirt if you wanna borrow it?” Sam gently asked his friend, looking down at him with worry. Blaine nodded his head and waited for Sam, pulling his shirt down and crossing his arms over it to try and hide the flab. When Sam got back he gratefully received the shirt and changed into it, going back into the cubicle so Sam couldn't see him again. He knew it was silly, Sam wouldn't judge him but he judged himself and if he were truly honest he still had a bit of a crush on his friend. He didn't want him to see him looking unattractive. As he came out once again, Sam practically dragged him to the lockers, shoving his bag inside the one beside Sam's and then grabbed his wrist to take them out to the gym itself.

“Ok so, where do you want to start?” Sam inquired looking around at all the different equipment. Sam knew about keeping his body trim but he was no personal trainer. He had no idea what would be the best thing to trim Blaine down to size.

“Um...the treadmill?” Blaine looked around almost as uncertain as his blond friend. He hardly ever went to a gym and NYADA's was pretty big. It had things in here that Blaine wasn't even sure what they did.

An instructor started walking towards the two uncertain looking boys and Sam's face broke out in a smile. Blaine groaned internally. He did not want complete strangers to judge him and his weight. “Can I help?” He asked in a friendly enough manner. Blaine didn't want friendly though, he wanted invisibility. Sam, it seemed, was not on the same page.

“Hey yeah, um my friend here and I, we want to get fitter, you know healthier. What do you recommend we try?” Sam asked, trying to be tactful and Blaine smiled weakly at the instructor who carried on smiling and winked at Blaine. He knew why they were there, why were they even keeping up the pretences? Blaine felt the slight scowl start to descend on his face as Sam carried on his conversation with this trim instructor.

“Well, I can set you up with a programme for the both of you if you're interested?”

“That sounds great, thanks!” Sam enthusiastically replied, turning to Blaine and looking encouragingly at him. Blaine reluctantly followed, hoping he wasn't going to regret Sam persuading him into this...