Burnout (The Holland Brothers Book 1)

“That was the best one I’ve seen you land yet.” Colter holds his fist out for a bump as I come to a stop on my bike next to him. He’s grinning like Colter often does. “You’re doing it, man. Another month and you’ll be ready to do the entire show with us. We just need to get your timing down on the group runs.”

It feels good. I like these guys, and while I was worried about switching gears to do freestyle and how it might impact my racing, it’s only improved it. I’m in more control of myself and the bike. It makes the fact that I haven’t heard from Mike sting a little less.

I thought someone would have called by now. If not Mike, another team. I’m eager to show everyone how I’ve improved, and how ready I am for the season.

“Are you heading out to train with Avery?” he asks as he stands from his seat, still holding on to the handles.

“No. She has a team dinner tonight.”

He grins at me. “Seeing her after?”

“Don’t be a nosy asshole. I’ve got enough of those at home.”

He chuckles. “I like you two together.”

I shoot him an amused glance. “Who are you and what have you done with my friend Colter? Once upon a time, you were the guy who was hooking up with multiple girls a night. You made me look like an altar boy.”

He smiles through a grimace. “I know. I was a total player before Quinn. I’ve changed though.”

“She seems cool, if not slightly unhinged, and I’m happy for you. But changed? Come on, really? You’re saying the next time you’re single you won’t plow through girls to make up for lost time?”

“I’m dead serious.” His tone is genuine through his light laughter. “I’m pretty sure she’s the real deal. The one. All that.”

I bark out a laugh, but his expression doesn’t change.

“You’re serious?”

“Yeah. I’m trying to save up enough for my own place so I can ask her to move in with me.”

“Shit. I had no idea.”

He shrugs it off. “I thought maybe…”

“What?”

“Maybe you and Avery were heading down a similar path. I’ve seen how you look at her and you didn’t so much as glance at another chick this weekend. You like her.”

I start to shake my head and tell him that while I do like Avery, it isn’t serious, but something catches my attention. Or rather someone. I don’t know if it’s his stance, hands shoved in his pockets and one foot angled out, or the familiar beat-up, black ball cap that he’s been wearing for ten years, but I know it’s him in an instant.

“What the fuck?”

Colter follows my gaze. “Is that your old man?”

“He’s not my anything.”

I ride my bike over to my truck where he’s standing. I don’t look at him as I ask, “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you were doing freestyle, but I didn’t believe it.” There’s contempt in his voice.

One sentence out of his mouth and I’m already clenching my hands into fists.

“You’re not really thinking of giving up racing for this, are you?” He waves a dismissive hand toward the track where Colter is flying off a ramp. “You’re better than this. I know you got dropped by Thorne, but you don’t need them. You can win on your own.”

“Save me the loving parent act and tell me why you’re here, Dad?” I say the last word with all the disdain I feel. I don’t call him that because he’s acted like one, but to remind him he hasn’t.

“I wanted to see you and your brothers. Knew I’d have to go through you first.”

I look up at him, gauging his seriousness. The hair at his temples has more gray in it than the last time I saw him, and the lines around his mouth are deeper. Otherwise, he hasn’t changed one bit. Out of all my brothers, I look the most like him. “Absolutely not.”

His face goes red, but he manages to keep his temper in check, so his words only come out slightly strained. “Hendrick is home and engaged from what I hear, Flynn’s about to graduate, Arch is doing amazing things with football. I know I’ve made mistakes and wasn’t there when you all needed me.”

“We never needed you. Mom was the real parent.” God, the number of times I wished he’d show up for me. Missed races, birthdays, and holidays. I learned how not to need him at an early age, but it took a lot longer to stop wanting him to be there. I can still remember the first time I took first place at a race. I was so excited to tell him, but by the time he came around, two months later, it seemed so stupid.

“You’re right.” His mouth pulls into a sad smile. “But I’m here now. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Not to me.”

“But maybe to your brothers. Does Flynn even know that I’ve tried to see him over the years?”

Anger vibrates and prickles my skin. This isn’t the first time he’s shown up claiming he’s different and wants to see everyone. Luckily, I’ve been able to intercept.

“No, because I’m not going to let you fuck with his head. You can’t pop in whenever you want and pretend like you give a shit, then disappear on him. I’m not going to let you do that. Not now. Not ever.”

Flynn doesn’t remember him being around. It wasn’t something he had to grieve and I’m thankful for that. Losing one parent was hard enough on him.

“I’m only asking to see him. He should get a say in whether or not he wants to talk to me.” He tucks a piece of paper under the windshield wiper. “My number. At least think about sharing it with your brothers.”

I load up my bike so fast, eager to get away from him. I throw open the door of my truck. “Stay away from all of us.”

My anger has turned to a simmering boil that won’t let me sit still. I pace the living room as I tell Hendrick and Archer about Dad showing up at the track. Brogan’s here too. Flynn’s still at practice. I came straight home so I could talk to them without him around.

“I was afraid this was going to happen,” Hendrick says and signs. We don’t always sign entire conversations, but any time it’s this important, we all do.

“It’s been more than a year since the last time he reached out to me. I was hoping he finally got the hint that we don’t want him around.” I work my jaw back and forth.

“What’d he say?” Hendrick asks.

“Same shit. He apologized and said he wanted to see everyone.”

“Has he tried to contact you directly?” Hendrick asks Archer.

Arch follows along, nodding. “Just the one time, and Flynn’s never said anything about Dad reaching out to him.”

It’s quiet except for the low volume of the TV in the background. They’re talking motocross, but I don’t even care right now.

“We can’t continue keeping him in the dark,” Hendrick says.

The words feel like a slap. “Why the hell not?”

“He’s old enough to decide for himself if he wants a relationship with Dad.”

I’m so stunned I can’t even speak. Hendrick hates Dad as much as I do, I’m sure of that.

“I hate to say it, but I agree with him.” Brogan is the next to speak. “I’m not sure if I get a say, but I can tell you if it were my dad trying to contact me, I’d at least want to know.”

I look to Arch for backup. He’s always reasonable.

“Maybe they have a point.” He doesn’t look happy about it, but it’s clear whose side he’s on.

“Are you all serious right now?” I glance between them. “You’ve all lost your minds. There’s no fucking way I’m letting him back into our lives.”

“Flynn doesn’t remember all the shit we do,” Hendrick says.

“Exactly. He’s the only one Dad didn’t fuck up, and I’m not about to let him get his chance now.”