Brother

Every nerve in my body was paying attention as the pressure on my thigh crept higher to the point it disappeared under the edge of my dress. The heat of Michael’s hand burned my skin, leaving my breath hitching as nervous excitement mixed with desire. Whatever was happening right now was new, scary and forbidden - which only made it that much better. His hand traced the outline of my underwear and I never saw myself as the kind of girl who did this. The thought was kind of sobering.

Michael’s hand stopped as his mouth slid down my chin to my neck and instinctively I rolled my head to the side. Anxiety had me feeling nervous for different reasons and despite the heat between us, I couldn’t help but feel cold. While his breath teased my skin, I felt like I’d stopped breathing completely and the thumping of my heart made my whole body feel like it was shaking with the force. If Michael noticed, he didn’t show it and instead breathed in deep just under my ear. With our cheeks touching now, his hand still didn’t move and I couldn’t help but rub my head against his.

“You have no idea, how amazing, you smell right now.” After all that, it was those words that made me blush. “But I get it, relax Sarah.”

Just like that, the key to anticipating what could have been about to happen vanished and I ached for his touch now. I opened my mouth to protest, but what the hell do I even say?

I was soon balancing on the seat of Michael’s bike, clinging to his shirt as my legs went around his knees. His hands ran over my arms, sliding over my bare shoulders to settle behind me. I wasn’t sure if I was actually sitting or if it was all his doing by simply holding me. I didn’t care, resting my forehead on his chest - there was something so intoxicating about his scent; something no cologne could ever replicate. Just like that, I managed to get rid of all my nerves.

“That’s better.” He almost sounded amused.

“What?” Daring to look up, there was some kind of struggle on his face; tension had his brows creased and yet despite whatever was troubling him, he managed to offer me a smile.

“Never mind. So how are you feeling now? Danny said you’d been acting a little, weird.”

‘Weirder than practically throwing myself at you in the dark area of a car park?’

“Better than I have- wait. Danny said what? You got all that from his howl?” All I had felt was the emotion behind it, I hadn’t heard words. Why didn’t Danny tell me about that?

“Howl? No? When I spoke- Oh.” Michael frowned.

Whatever that weirdness that Danny told him about was, it came back to me then; almost to the point my gums started to ache and my teeth felt like they’d drop out at any second. Now I was annoyed at Danny, instantly ready to go back to the party just to scream at him about the fact he had spoken to Michael and not told me.

“When you spoke to Danny?” I asked slowly, letting Michael go and forcing him back so I could stand. “How did you even know we were here?”

“Ah! That’s what he’s talking about.” He answered, ignoring my actual question. “I don’t know if it is some freaky twin thing, cause he’s changed or if it’s something else. You do have werewolf in your DNA so it could be something to do with that, but then again the time between when Scott started the change to when the full moon is, is a bit of a longer gap than what people usually get. This is great!”

Humouring him, I rolled with it though my tone suggested otherwise. “What is great?”

“You’ll survive the change, I reckon even without Scott putting you through the rest of it you were only one bite away from having it happen.”

This actually seemed to make him happy and I fought the urge to claw his face off. Then again, hearing I could probably survive was a comfort.

“When did you talk to Danny?” I snapped.

“A couple of days ago. I just got my brothers back home and since I hadn’t been able to locate you guys in the city, figured you might be down here. In case you were, I didn’t want to risk getting too close so I gave him a call.” Michael answered casually like it was no big deal. “He mentioned you had a family dinner for your birthdays so I was only going to come and check on you. Then you were outside and yeah.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?” It hurt Danny kept that from me, though all I really felt was anger now.

I couldn’t help seeing it as something more than it was, even though I knew it shouldn’t have been. Was it really so bad he kept talking to Michael a secret from me?

“In this case, what you don’t know can’t hurt you.” Michael dared to inch closer, shortening the space between us. “Fuck what that dickhead said. I’ve been going insane worrying about you, missed you more than I probably should have.”

Still stuck on Danny and his secrets, I didn’t process what Michael said as quickly as I should have. “No. That dickhead can kill us all. You shouldn’t be here. What if one of his spies has already seen us? You’re an idiot to even risk coming tonight.”

I didn’t want to, but somehow I managed to step around him and head back towards the place where I should be. Not all of me was present as I tried not to actually run to the restaurant, and it was hard to deny the fact that I had missed him too. The difference between us was, I wasn’t going to be weak or stupid enough to admit it as he did. I wasn’t that kind of suicidal and was determined to get out of this mess with my pack alive.

Michael was in front of me just as quickly as I had slipped away, and shook his head, stopping me from going any further. “If that was the truth, you should at least believe it if you expect me to.”

“Scott could kill us, Michael. This isn’t a game!”

“I don’t doubt it, but I won’t let that happen. I know exactly what I am doing, and how this is all going to play out. You might hate me by the end, but you and Danny will walk out of it alive. Trust me.” He was practically begging me now.

I’d heard those words from him before. He said not to worry about Scott or Joe and that all turned out so well so far, just like how he had told me Danny changing wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened. I wasn’t too sure about that either, but in the here and now, giving him a chance to prove it; again, wasn’t actually that hard.

“I trust you.”

The relief that covered his face was enough to tell me that he believed that and I guess I did too. Maybe all this werewolf business was killing my brain cells, because even though I knew how stupid being near him was and had doubts about how much I could actually trust him; I still wanted Michael.

I could blame the hormones that seemed to the heating up my blood right now. I could even argue it was because of those glasses of champagne I had at the party, but that would be a lie. There was no denying the feelings for him I’d been fighting to accept.

“Thank you.” He said softly.

I relaxed against Michael, absorbing the closeness of our hug as touch seemed more intimate now than anything else in this world could be. The slightly rough edge of his fingers trailed up my arms and then down my spine as he held me tighter. Without meaning to I suddenly couldn’t shut up, telling him about being at Scotts and about Ben and Shane. I told him about what happened with Will, and that my parents knew everything now. Some I think he must have already heard from Danny, as not even telling him about Rachelle seemed like a surprise.

“Feel better?” Michael finally asked as it was obvious I was done offloading it all.

“Yeah I do, but these urges I get; I just can’t stop or control them. Like when I just ran or how I think of things and people now. Weak, a threat - mine. Pack. I look around town and actually feel territorial.” It was terrifying, even more so than before because I was losing what control I had. “I chased a stupid cat the other day because it ran across the street in front of me. I just went for it. I don’t want to think what could have happened if I caught it.”

“Unfortunately, that’s normal behaviour and usually what happens during the first couple of weeks of changing. It’s just you adjusting to the wolf side of you, and once you can shift and find the balance, it will be easier. Look at Danny now, me; the others you know. When Danny wasn’t shifting, look at how he was. A total mess. You’re kind of at that stage now and once you can change, you’ll feel a million times better.”

That wasn’t a comfort at all, but I tried to think of it as one. I was changing, whether I wanted to or not and I couldn’t ignore it; the wolf side of me wouldn’t allow it. So I managed to nod and slowly dared to make eye contact. Even in the moonlight, I could see the tenderness in his gaze, which only transferred across in his kiss. Slow, gentle-loving, and the slight pressure on my lower lip as he playfully nipped at it drew me in until once again nothing else in the world mattered except for us.

Because of that happening, it would be impossible for me to tell you when Danny and Rachelle left the party or for how long they had been standing behind us. I figured it couldn’t have been for long despite my judgement being a little hazy, mostly because Michael pulled away from me much too soon. Instantly he went into a protective stance leaving me confused until a second or two later, and I realised we weren’t alone.

Everything happened quickly after that. While I was still dazed and slightly breathless, Michael was in full fight mode as Danny was suddenly there, shoving him away from me. Rachelle gasped and grabbed my arm, while I stumbled to the side with her - looking back in time to see Danny raise his fist in an attempt to punch Michael.

“Don’t!” I called out, but neither was listening to what I had to say.

“You’re actually retarded enough to come here! You’re fucking supposed to stay away!” Danny yelled.

Michael easily dodged his hit, and then another, showing up Danny and how untrained he was at this kind of thing.

“No one is here. I know what I’m fucking doing!” He answered.

It was the fourth attempt that managed to clip Michael on the chin and no longer playing along, he sent his own fist into Danny’s stomach which had him curling over with a grunt. That really woke me up, especially when Michael went to hit him again.

“Enough!” I practically roared this time.

Slipping out of Rachelle’s hold, I quickly went to my brother's side, leaving Michael pacing up and down in front of us. Danny let me help him up, yet he still hadn’t learnt his lesson as he went to go for Michael again.

Instantly I stopped him. “What the hell Danny?”

“Just going to the car? You were gone for half an hour, Sarah. Anything could have happened! Are you really willing to risk our lives, our family - because of him? What are you thinking?” Danny yelled, making me feel about two inches tall.

“A couple of weeks ago, you were the one willing to sacrifice them, for us.” He snapped at me cruelly.

I glared at him, knowing he only included that last bit to get a reaction; from me or Michael I wasn’t sure.

“What was I thinking? That’s hilarious coming from you!” I yelled back.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He almost sounded offended.

“Oh I dunno, Mr act first think later. If you actually thought about anything you do and how it could impact anyone else except for yourself we wouldn’t even be in this mess. So don’t you dare try and make me feel bad!”

“Okay guys, calm down.” Rachelle interrupted.

I couldn’t bring myself to even look at her as I stared Danny down.

“Oh, so any time we get in a fight you’re gonna throw that back at me?” Despite the fact he was still arguing, Danny had backed off.

Not that it mattered to me at that moment as I was positive a million ants were running over my skin making it crawl and instantly I hugged myself; subtly rubbing my arms. I couldn’t help feel relieved to find only skin there as I had half expected to feel fur.

Rachelle was right, I had to calm down and the only thing I could think of was seeking out the comfort Michael had been able to offer. Looking his way now, I knew that was going to happen and remembering what Danny had said, the frown on Michael’s face as well as his silence spoke louder than words.

“Michael, it wasn’t like-” I quickly try to explain, but he only shakes his head.

“He’s right, I better go before anyone works out I’m gone.” Michael turned on his heel and went back to his bike.

What did he mean by that? “No!”

“Sarah, we need to go back inside,” Danny spoke calmly behind me as Rachelle appeared at my side.

“Come on.” She whispered, taking my hand.

As soon as the bike started I snapped into action and ran over before Danny could stop me. “Michael!”

“Go back to your party Bright Eyes.”

“I don’t want to. Please, please don’t go!” I begged.

All I could think about was him being angry or worse, disappointed in me, especially considering how we had been barely fifteen minutes earlier. Not only that, I had offloaded all my problems onto him and not once asked about how he was, or his Dad and brothers, which only made me feel worse.

“I have to. I’ll see you later.” He barely even looked at me as he reached out and carefully pushed me out of the way.

Then he was gone and I had no idea when later would be.

Danny and I didn’t talk to each other until the following night. Considering my parents were still riding the high from the success of our birthday party, it was exhausting to make sure they didn’t realise something was wrong between us, again.

After knocking on my door, Danny slipped inside and I barely turned my head to acknowledge him. “Here.”

Silence.

“Sar, come on. Too much is happening for you to be in a shit with me!” He snapped.

Looking over, he had Mum's suitcase at his side and sitting up, he had my attention. “Why have you got that?”

“You really weren’t listening at lunch were you?”

I had listened, kind of. I heard about Mum quitting my job for me, telling Mrs Johns we had a death in the family and that we were all shaken by it. Since I was only casual, I hadn’t had to give notice and with only three weeks left of peak season and the store being oddly quiet, my presence wasn’t exactly missed. I had tuned out after that, more occupied with a certain Blake and what was going on there. I just needed to see him and it was nearly impossible for me to think of anything else.

Oblivious to my thoughts, my brother came over to sit beside me and not willing to have him that close, I shuffled over as the groan I released sounded more like a growl. Danny ignored it.

“You need to start packing. Two days until the full moon and we have no idea when Scott will turn up.”

“Packing?” I asked dumbly.

“Dad's plan, remember? As soon as the change happens for you, we’re getting out of here and putting as much distance between us and them as possible. Noah has a hire car and we need to pack our shit ready to go.”

“What is Dad’s plan exactly?”

Danny didn’t answer.

“Danny!”

“I think he’s going to kill him with the help of Noah’s family. He won’t tell me everything, and our orders were to pack for the cold.” He shrugged.

“But-”

“I know.”

Our Dad wasn’t a killer. He played cricket on Saturday, was terrible at surfing and told jokes that were about twenty years out of date. Being on the wrong side of forty, he didn’t work as many hours as he used to and already he and Mum had been planning for early retirement. In two days would none of that ever happen for them?

“What if we talk to Scott? Go find him, try and make a deal or something and keep them all out of it?” I inched closer to Danny as fear took over everything else.

“Mike said he had something that could get us out of this.” He frowned, tensing as he told me that.

“Before or, ah, after?”

“About twenty minutes ago. Remember, you’re not supposed to talk to him, and you’re definitely not supposed to see him!” Danny scolded.

“Do you trust him?”

Danny hesitated and sounded completely confused when he finally did talk. “I do, but I don’t know if I do or if it’s just a stupid pack thing that makes me think I should or even because you clearly have something going on with him, that is coming over to me. You know?”

“How does that work exactly? Scott is behind my change and I don’t think I feel any, loyalty, to him?”

“Come on Sar, you’re not just another pack wolf. You’re stronger than that, you even made Will listen to you!”

“So did you.” I remind him.

“Only because of you. If you’re not there or in trouble, I’m no better than Justin or even Jake the rest of the time. It’s why Scott didn’t bother with me when I went up to see meet with him that time.”

“You’re better than Jake and Justin,” I answered quickly.

I didn’t see them as any kind of threat. They were weak, they needed protection like the humans and Danny could help me with that. I knew he could and that he was underselling himself. Shaking my head, I tried not to think that way and focused on the real topic that needed to be discussed now.

“So, did Michael say anything, like what he was going to do?”

“No. Scott has people watching his place. He knows he’s back at home with his brothers and he snuck out the other night. Mike knows these people, and he knows exactly how Scott’s pack works. Noah and that are good, and I think they will do the right thing by us, but my gut says to stick with whatever Mike has planned.”

Too much of this was out of our control and we were left acting like puppets in someone else's show. “I don’t like any of it.”

“I know, but for now we need to pack to keep Mum and Dad happy.” Danny got up and I was positive I heard the faint buzz of his mobile coming from his room.

Biting my lip nervously, I went to follow him only to instead shut and lock my door. I couldn’t hear much through the wall, so got comfortable on the bed and tried a different method of eavesdropping. Closing my eyes, I focused on Danny and the rush of anxiety made me hold my stomach. Feelings soon gave way to snippets of thought, and the more I zoomed in on that, the clearer it all became to the point where I could hear Michael talking.

“Two of Dad’s mates were killed and he’s on his way down here now with Scott. You two really need to make up and focus on learning how to keep your thoughts to yourself. If he even suspects anything happening between the pair of you, nothing I say will help. Dad is going to be doing and saying whatever he can to save his ass”

“I’ll talk to her tonight when everyone’s in bed,” Danny told him.

“Okay. Jake isn’t at yours is he?”

“Na, should I get him to come round?”

“No!” Michael answered curtly. “No. It’s fine. What do you think the chances of the wolves helping your parents, helping me are like?”

“Doubt they would Mike. I think they’re doing it to get back at Will.”

“Figures. I got a couple of people coming down already, just hope Scott doesn’t sense them on the trip.”

Opening my eyes, I left them to it and quickly started to go through my wardrobe. Within the hour, I had the suitcase finished and closed up. Leaving it by my bedroom door, I caught Dad’s scent growing stronger and quickly unlocked it before taking a seat on my bed beside an open magazine.

“You still awake love?” Dad knocked once before peeking inside.

“Yeah.”

His eyes instantly go to the suitcase and with a sigh, he comes over much like how Danny did; even sitting in the same spot. Mum came in a minute later and she had quite managed to hide the signs of how much she’d been crying.

“What’s up?” I ask casually.

“We love you both so much!” She started before pulling me into a bone-crushing hug.

“I love you guys too,” I mumbled into her shoulder.

“So, you’ve ah, packed then?” Dad motioned towards the waiting suitcase.

“Yeah.”

“We’re not sending you away because we don’t want you here. We just want you safe and-”

Pulling away from Mum, I looked between them cautiously. “What are you planning on doing?”

“Noah thinks it’s best if you don’t know.” Mum sighed.

“Well, I want to know!” I demanded, not even trying to hold back the firm order to my words. “Tell me! Please!”

I was positive that would have worked with Danny or Jake, but my parents barely flinched or acknowledged the way I spoke to them.

“We can’t!” Mum looked at Dad who only nodded.

“Then where are Noah and his family?”

“They think it’s best if they aren’t around you two right now,” Dad answered hesitantly.

“Why?” That only sounded suspicious to me.

“It’s too dangerous.”

“So is whatever you’re all planning. There has to be another way.” Sniffing the air, the metallic aroma that lingered around Dad instantly had my brain alerting me to silver. I don’t even know how I knew that, but I trusted my instincts. “Silver bullets? Is that the plan?”

“What? No!” He answered quickly. “Karen does have some guns she’s been teaching us how to use, but-”

“Dad, no! You’re not like these people. None of us are. The only thing that is dangerous, is you guys being even more involved than what you already are.”

“Sarah, one day, you will have kids of your own and it doesn’t matter what they’ve done or what is going on, you will do whatever you can to ensure their safety and survival.” Standing up, Dad didn’t look like the softie I’d always known him to be. He looked intimidating. “I know you want to keep us safe Sunshine, but some things are out of your control. We will do whatever it takes to stop this.”

“Dad!” This wasn’t as simple as Danny breaking some of their rules.

“No Sarah. End of story!” He yelled.

“Mum!” Looking to her for support, her face had hardened and she stood beside Dad.

“They’re right Sar. We’re in over our heads and keeping it from them hasn’t exactly worked out all that well so far.” Danny joined in from the doorway.

My mouth dropped. Was he serious?

“Sweetheart, we’re going to be fine. We are all going to be fine!” Mum told me and just like Michael and even Danny, I now knew what they meant by being able to smell lies.

I couldn’t breathe and keeping my mouth shut, my throat started to feel as if there was a hand around it.

“Get. Out.” I growled.

“What?” Mum frowned, reaching out to me I turned my back to her.

“I want to be alone. Please, get out.” The words were a little clearer now and their hesitation filled my room only making me feel worse.

“Sarah-” Danny started.

Turning to face him, he quickly shut up and with a nod, followed Mum and Dad, shutting the door behind them. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, I just wanted to get away and leave all of this behind. I have responsibilities. I always have responsibilities. That’s who I am after all; the responsible one.

Pacing by my bed, I want to calm down. I don’t know where this burst of energy has come from and as my foot clips the corner of a shoe box that was half shoved under it. I nudge the packaging again so it comes out from its hiding place. Then I kick it. The pair of sneakers falls to the floor the second the lid pops off it and the tissue paper that had been carefully wrapped around each shoe comes loose.

Staring at the box, I half expect it all to do something like fight back or run away, but nothing happens. I think that’s actually worse and so, leap over to it, and start to shred the paper before throwing the box across the room. Anything in reach is kicked or thrown; the bedding is nearly torn apart as I pull it from the mattress. Draws are removed from the cupboard, and I doubt even a cyclone could do this much damage.

Everything has value. All of this is stuff my parents gave me, and provided for me. They always made sure Danny and I had everything we needed. It may not be the same kind of expensive, fancy things that my cousins had, but it served us well. The walls are painted a pale pink, so light it’s easy to think it was white at first glance. It replaced the most shocking violet colour just after I started high school and declared my room was too childish. I’d helped Dad all day to get it painted before Mum came home from work because she didn’t think it was necessary.

Dad had always done that. If Mum says no, go to him - after all I was his little girl and what I asked for, I got. Now, glaring at the wall, I hated that paint. I hated the memories behind each and every detail of this room and even all my items of clothing had something attached to them. I saw the flash of gold in one of the dropped draws and picked up the mini-skirt that Nanna had gotten me when I was fifteen. Mum said it was too short and I couldn’t wear it until I was at least eighteen or better than that, never.

All the things on top of my dresser were now spread out amongst the carnage. There was the bottle of perfume Mum and I got together on a trip to the city when I turned sixteen because I was old enough to start wearing the real stuff and not some scented deodorant from a spray can.

Leftover school stuff had been torn up and littered the area around my desk and a few photographs of me with my friends were now in shattered glass frames. I’d never been able to fix all this mess and so I went to hide from the mess I’d made. Ignoring the murmur of concerned and panicked voices outside my door, I went into the corner of my wardrobe where my dresses still remained untouched - just hanging there oblivious to what I’d just done in my room and curled up into the smallest figure I could make.

Then I cried.

Even if I survived this as Mum and Dad wanted, Mum seemed resigned to the fact that they wouldn’t. They were actually going to sacrifice their lives for ours. I’d never be able to go shopping with Mum again and we wouldn’t be able to tease the perfume sales lady as she fought off the old ladies looking for free samples.

I’d never be able to help Dad with random and usually unnecessary home improvements. There wouldn’t be trips to Bunnings for a new packet of nails he already had plenty of at home - all because we really just wanted one of the two-dollar sausages in a bun from out the front.

Danny wouldn’t be able to go and waste a morning or an afternoon with Dad fishing, despite never catching anything and Mum wouldn’t be around to make sure all of his favourite things were always in the freezer ready to be cooked up. Thinking of her sausage rolls and the way she used to put little pastry hearts or smiley faces on them for us only made me cry harder.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to them just yet. They weren’t old enough to stop living. Danny and I were only eighteen and despite that classing us as adult now, we weren’t. We still needed them around and there was so much still to come, like moving out of home and annoying them by coming back, repeatedly if we turned out to be like Wendi’s sister. It wasn’t just about that either. Dad still had to walk me down the aisle and Mum had to try and teach her grandkids how to cook since her own kids never quite got her talent for it.

My head hurt; whether it was from Danny or the way my nose had blocked up and I was blubbering like a baby was beyond me, but eventually, the three of them dared to venture into my room and it was Danny who found me. Turns out, not all my dresses survived the cyclone and the den I had created for myself was slowly pulled apart as Danny tried to lure me out.

Making space, he ended up sitting beside me and mind reader or not, I knew he could feel my pain because it was just like his only he was better at hiding it. After the sounds in my room went quiet, the four of us sat in my wardrobe, not saying a word as my parents didn’t know what to say to fix this and eventually I broke the silence.

“I don’t want you to die.”

Mum wiped her eyes before leaning over towards me, shuffling Danny over so she sat between us. With an arm over each of our shoulders, we cuddled against her side like we were simply kids again and the gentle motion of her hand rubbing our arm, fought to rub away our troubles.

“Noah’s family know what they’re doing. They’re werewolves and have had to fight before.” Dad leaned against the wall where my shoes usually sat only now it was empty and I couldn’t see any of them anywhere in there.

“Scott is just one man Sarah. Take out the pack and he is nothing without backup. It’s how wolves work isn’t it? The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.” Mum pressed her cheek against the top of my head and closing my eyes, I wished I was the little kid who was still naive to the cruel realities of the world.

“That’s deep Mum, which hallmark card did you get that off?” Danny attempted to tease her.

“The Jungle Book actually.” Her gentle touch stopped and looking up, she slapped the back of Danny’s head. “Your Nanna gave it to me when you two were missing as a distraction since the rest of what she has are all soppy romance novels. I wish I could remember the rest of the poem.”

We went quiet again, hiding in my wardrobe and all lost in thought until eventually, I fell asleep. When I did wake up, Mum was putting a blanket over me and I was on the lounge in the living room, feeling exhausted.

“Go to sleep sweetheart. We’ll clean up your room tomorrow okay?” She kissed my forehead and without looking I could sense Dad behind the lounge and Danny was in the chair to my right.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Try and get some sleep okay, both of you!” Mum looked at Danny before heading upstairs with Dad.

“I’m worried about you Sar, you lost your shit up there and I only sensed another werewolf,” Danny whispered, slipping to sit in front of me as I rolled over to face him. “Michael wanted me to practice blocking you out, to make sure we don’t connect when you change, but I don’t know if that’s going to be possible. They don’t think my turning into a werewolf affected you, but I think they’re wrong, because I was able to tune into your thoughts and all that shit, and well, I almost left to go find Scott. You weren’t all there. Even when I was fighting it after I changed, I never felt any of that!”

The stress in his voice set my nerves on edge, not that they weren’t already. I don’t know what to say, so I stay quiet.

“You look like shit, worse than you did before. Everyone thinks it’s because of stress, and it probably is, but I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh no.” I groan, lacking my usual spark for teasing him.

“What if something about me changing did affect you? Look at how you’ve been this whole time, maybe you were supposed to change that night too, but couldn’t or didn’t or whatever. Since that night, you changed too and now you’re falling apart. You’re so moody and you space out all the time. I think not turning you has been the worst decision anyone has made so far. You’re pretty much in limbo, worse than I was when I had my meat freak out.”

“Good thing there are only two sleeps left until I change then.” Yawning, I wanted him to shut up so I could go to sleep.

“With you like this, I don’t think it’s a good thing at all. Especially with Scott sniffing around. This is what I’ve really been thinking about!’ He was so determined and serious, I forced myself to stay awake. “When Mike came round and I shifted, I was good after that. It was like I had been trapped in a net and suddenly it was cut free. I was back to normal and I think that you need that release.”

“I can’t change?”

“No, but like you told Will, I can.” Danny snapped his fingers in front of my face and I didn’t realise I had closed my eyes. “Your little fit up there wore you out, didn’t it? Just like you do anytime you feel that wolf side take over. I’ve been watching you Sar. Your nails change, and your teeth and eyes. The wolf is there, desperate to come out.”

“Can you get to the point or save this for the morning?” I yawned again, no longer able to pay attention.

Danny was suddenly grabbing my arm and forcing me to sit up. “Come on.”

Trying to stay quiet, the darkness of the house didn’t bother me as I was taken back to my room. He flicked the light on and I instantly closed my eyes as it was too bright. My eyes didn’t take long to adjust and it was worse than I thought. Until I saw the claw marks on the wall and I was wide awake.

“Did I?” Moving over to them, my fingers were dirty and fitted into each groove perfectly. “Oh shit!”

“We can block each other out. I understand what Mike was saying about that, but I think we need to learn to work together too. You need to be, well, better by the full moon. Any weakness, Scott will pounce on it and judging by how dominant you are, when you finally change, I’m worried about how much control you’re going have. Our first instinct is to establish a pack, which is why we run together. You’re going to go to want to take down the one in charge, and they’re going to teach you your place; Michael did it to me, and he did it to Jake. The idiot didn’t back down either until common sense returned and he ended up being pretty equally matched with Justin and Mike was the only one I couldn’t make submit to me.”

Again, Danny was just talking and nothing sunk in as I couldn’t stop staring at the scratch marks. What had I done?

“You stood up to Scott before, so he’ll be expecting you to give him a good fight. You would’ve just changed and you’re not going to stand a chance and need to know that. If you lose control then, he could be backing on that to kill you.”

“I don’t get it, Danny. Break it down for me.” I’m tired. I’m getting impatient and leaving marks on the wall, I turn to face him.

“That! There!” He points at me.

“What?” I ask so he turns me to the mirror which is thankfully unbroken. I don’t need any more bad luck.

My blue eyes are fully dilated and don’t look human at all. They look like dog eyes, and I instantly gasp.

“See! You’re a strong person Sarah. A leader. Since I changed, you’ve been turning into a werewolf too and so to get you back to some kind of normal, well enough normal to go through the change and come out as a person and not an insane wolf, I’ve got an idea.”

I didn’t have many choices right now so agreed to it. Danny left a note for our parents in case we weren’t back by morning and I followed him with ease as we climbed over fences and ran down the streets to where Jake was waiting in a car I hadn’t seen before.

No one said anything as we headed out of town, and just when I thought we were heading to Peta’s, we got onto the bypass highway and went further inland. I fell asleep after that and I woke up once the car stopped. We were in the parking area for a nearby dam and leaving the concrete path, we ventured into the bushes.

“There isn’t anyone around here for miles, so we should be safe no matter what happens,” Danny told us.

“What is going to happen?” I ask.

“I don’t know exactly.”

The three of us keep walking and Jake takes the same pace as me while Danny charges on up ahead to scout for a good spot.

“We got your back, Sarah. No matter what, I’ll always be here for you.” He promised, daring to reach out and try to hold my hand. I can’t help but shy away from the contact.

“Thanks, Jake.”

He sighs, and we keep walking. Finally, Danny has stopped in a small clearing at the top of a hill and the first thing to get my attention is the small mob of kangaroos below us.

“Okay, give me a sec.” Danny disappears behind some bushes and when he comes back, he only has a towel around his waist and the bag I hadn’t noticed until now was dumped at Jake’s feet before he sits. “Sit down Sar.”

I do as he says and we’re left facing each other, while Jake hovers a couple of meters away.

“Just, let go and do what you really want to do.” He tells me.

“What?”

“Don’t try and hold back anymore. Try and channel all that pent-up energy and frustration at not being able to change, to me and I will change for you.”

It sounds so simple and I finally work out his plan. If I’m in his mind and give in to the urges, I can make him shift into a wolf through him. So I try. Then try again and the best I can do is pick up his thoughts about how good it will be to chase down a roo.

“This isn’t working.” I sigh, willing to give up.

“No, we just haven’t spiked your interest yet.” He decides. “Jake, shift. See if that gets her attention. Maybe even go chase the roos?”

Jake obliges and looking at the wolf version of our friend, it does nothing. Neither does watch him chase the native animals and when he comes back, tail wagging and tongue hanging out like he just had the best day of his life, all can do is pat his head when he comes close enough.

I’m willing to call it a night, but Danny isn’t done yet. “You know if this doesn’t work, Scott will probably be able to kill you and that will leave me and Jake alone. We won’t be able to protect Mum and Dad. Mike might try and help us, the others too, but we’ll only be delaying the inevitable.”

“Danny, you can’t-”

“I can do what I want. I always have and always will. I don’t need to think of the consequences. maybe I can talk Scott into keeping me around. Pack ain’t so bad, his house was nice and Ben probably wouldn’t be so much of a jerk if he knew I was on his side. Jake too, we could work with Ben or even if he is, I’m sure we’ll get used to it since he is a bit of a dominant wolf. I don’t think I could take him in a fight and well, Scott wouldn’t be so bad either really. He is an Alpha and the strongest pack leader around.”

Jake whined, his ears perking as he listened to Danny’s nonsense. It was nonsense because I would never let Ben go near the pair of them let alone establish himself over Danny and Jake, just like Scott would never be their pack leader. I went to scoff at his words, only it sounded more like a growl and Danny smiled.

“Yeah, all this just shows how powerful he is. It was probably just a fluke that you could stand up to him. You’re weak, and just slowing Jake and me down. We could take Michael. I almost did and so did Jake. He’s weak and no wonder Scott wants to kill him. We don’t need wolves like him.”

Now he was just be stupid. Michael wasn’t weak. He was strong, loyal and could easily be a pack leader - better than Scott even.

“Take that back, Danny. You’re just being a jerk now.” I snapped.

With the intention of licking my lips, I ended up rolling my tongue over my teeth and the length of my canines felt longer than usual.

“Sarah, focus on me and then think of changing. You can do it.” Danny encouraged.

Glaring at him, the smells around us seemed to intensify. Dampness, dry grass, gum trees and the rich earthy aroma of the soil. Things popped to mind as I worked through each little piece of the puzzle around us to work out what was so, tempting.

Rabbit.

Kangaroo.

Fox.

I was suddenly starving.

Jake whined again, and let out a howling yap sound too. The urge to howl, like I had heard Danny do became overwhelming and suddenly it was happening. I felt tense, hunching my shoulders up to my ears, I curled into a ball, as everything felt too tight. There wasn’t much pain - it was more a discomfort and it didn’t last as I sat up straight again, able to flex and stretch freely.

Everything really was different now, not just smell-wise, but how I could see too. I felt alive. I felt free. I just wanted to run and I did. The uneven, rough terrain didn’t bother me at all, and the sensation of having four instead of two legs only made me run faster.

I caught the scent of the kangaroos and Jake was suddenly beside me as we boldly ran through the mob, sending them bounding all over the place. It was a smaller one that really got my attention and it didn’t move as fast as the others. Natural selection took over as Jake came from behind and I rounded off in front of it, ever mindful of those two powerful legs. The poor animal was terrified and it was a quick and easy kill. Meat would never taste the same again and with our bellies full, Jake and I went slower now, happily wandering through the wilderness under the clear night sky.

It was then I found myself opening my eyes and everything felt like jelly. Sitting up was impossible and I fell to my side, drained, content and deeply satisfied. In the time it took Jake and Danny to come back and dress, I barely mumbled hello to them before completely passing out. In my dreams I kept running as a wolf; my wolf and this time it was Michael with me. Then again, that could just be because I could hear Danny on the phone to him before I disappeared completely.