Brother

Jake and Rachelle came over just after lunch once Danny had told Jake we were home. My parents didn’t leave us alone as a sense of unity filled the house. All I was filled with was nausea and while everyone talked about everything that didn’t touch on the elephant in the room, I hugged the cushion tightly and closing my eyes, managed to drift in and out sleep.

I woke up in time to hear them discussing attack plans for after I was changed to ensure Scott was taken care of before he could do the same to us. That wasn’t what I paid attention to. Jake and Rachelle sat side by side on the floor and partly hidden by the coffee table, the pair of them were holding hands. She caught me staring and her cheeks instantly went red, then she avoided looking at me completely.

My thoughts stayed on them, so much so I didn’t even realise Mum and Dad had left the four of us alone until I heard Mum crying. Looking around, it took me a second to work out they’d gone upstairs and I tried not to listen so they’d have some privacy. Glancing at Danny, he heard it too.

“So, no idea what happened with the Blakes?” Jake asked.

“Mike was able to answer, so hopefully they’re okay. I tried calling him earlier, but his mobile is switched off.” Danny sighed.

“This is so fucked up.” Rachelle hugged her legs and rested her chin on her knees, while Jake only frowned at her.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He told her, looking at me for back up.

“Bit late now. I already know everything anyway, Sarah told me ages ago.” I looked at my hands as the boys glared at me. “We’re best friends idiots, she’s always told me everything. Now, there is only one thing left to do.”

“What?” We all ask at the same time.

“Turn me too!” She exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“No.” It was just Danny and me now as Jake looked thoughtful.

“No.” I said again.

“But, you all get to be and I’m just, I dunno, your boring old human friend.” She argued.

“Nothing is boring about you.” I teased, making her poke her tongue out. “But seriously Rach, this isn’t just a phase or fashion trend, it’s life changing and as far as we know, there is no way to reverse it. Just because we’ve done it, doesn’t mean you have to as well. Besides, it’s too dangerous right now to even think about.”

It had been awhile since I had to feel like a parent giving a lecture to a disobedient child and as she frowned, I almost expected her to chuck a tantrum of toddler proportions. Instead, she took a slow deep breath and turned to face me completely.

“I know, but I want this. Ever since you told me about Danny I’ve been thinking about it. Werewolves exist. They’re not just part of myth and fiction, it’s like, I dunno, finding a genie and not using your three wishes! Once this crazy is over, I really want to be changed too.” She was serious. “I know you think I’m just jumping on the bandwagon, but I’ve been talking with Jake and I want pack. You know my family sucks, I haven’t even gone home this week and no one cares. Please Sarah.”

‘She’s got a point. We should do it!’ Danny told me from across the room.

How he expected us to do that was beyond me and now really wasn’t the time. He already made the point of Jake being left to fend for himself or worse, being killed if something happens to the rest of us. Rachelle can’t be involved with this yet, and since I was thinking in those terms I realised I’d already made my mind up.

She really was part of my family, I’d known her since pre-kindy and she had spent more time at our house than her own during these years at high school. Rachelle was already pack and I had no idea how I came to that conclusion or felt so at ease using those terms.

“Rach, I-” All eyes were on me, and I realised the decision was mine to make. “After the crazy, we will think about it.”

“Is that a no?” She pushed, yet the tiny smile was hard to hide.

“It’s a we’ll wait and see.” I tell her dryly.

“You sound like your Mum.” Rachelle was suddenly on me, pushing herself between the side of the armchair and my cushion as she hugged me. “And that always means yes. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.”

Thanks to her joining me, I have to change my position slightly, and end up with her knee digging into my thigh. “I hate you all.”

“Sure, sure!” Jake laughs, actually looking happy with the decision while Danny didn’t give any of his thoughts away.

The rest of the afternoon is spent keeping ourselves occupied. Mum starts to cook pastries; the most obvious sign something is wrong while Dad sits outside checking over his fishing equipment - another time wasting activity. The guys play some game on the Playstation while fighting with Rachelle since we have only have two controllers, and I’m struggling to resist the urge to just, run.

“What’s wrong with you?” Danny asked, stopping me on the staircase after my third time coming back down it.

“I don’t know.” It came out harsher than I intended and I idly started to scratch at my arm. I felt itchy all over and it was more than the house that had me feeling constricted. “Did you, do you, feel like you’re going to I dunno, rip apart?”

“What, like when I change?”

“Yeah. I feel like my skin is too tight. Like I have clothes on that are too small.” I wasn’t sure how to explain it.

“Not really. Usually it’s only like that as I’m changing.” He grabbed my hand to stop me from scratching. “You’re really worked up, try taking a few deep breaths.”

Doing that didn’t help.

If anything, now that I had stopped moving, it made everything worse. I hadn’t had one of these kind of panic attacks for a couple of weeks now, and this was proving to be worse than any of them. I couldn’t breathe and pushing past Danny I went for the front door. I had to go, I had to move, and not even stopping for shoes, I started to run.

“Sarah!” Danny screamed after me and the shouts from behind me soon disappeared as I got to the end of the street.

I kept going despite wanting to stop and the feeling of detachment made me run faster, almost like I was trying to get away from myself. It was then I heard it, the steady thumping of footsteps behind me and daring a look back, Danny and Jake gave chase.

Even when sprinting I had never been quite this fast, but it felt good to push myself. The tension in my joints seemed to break as I felt lighter, stronger. I made it to the dunes before they started closing the distance between us, and the headache I was getting from keeping Danny out of my head only got worse and blurred my vision. I knew where I was going and didn’t need to see to know where to go. The whole area was filled with the familiar smell of salt water, seaweed and summer heat; it smelt like home.

This was my territory and making it up onto the look out, tourists avoided the midday heat and kept the platform empty. Probably a good thing considering my arrival, and the way Danny ran up with Jake. I was barely out of breath and looked over to the shoreline and park that ran alongside the beach. Here people hid under umbrellas and the stupid sunbaked on towels spread out over hot sand. Everything was how it should be and despite the distance, I could hear the shouts and laughing from a group of teens splashing around in the surf.

“Sarah, what the hell?” Danny growled, grabbing my arm he turned me around so I was forced to look at him.

“That would have been us this summer.” I tell him, pointing to the group. “We haven’t gone to the beach once.”

“You ran out here cause you want to go to the beach?” Jake frowned.

No, I ran out here because I could see rooftops behind the trees that lined the park and there was nothing blocking my view for miles down the strip of white sand and blue waves. This wasn’t just a look out used during whale season, but a good viewpoint to look out over the lands.

Our hometown carried on like normal, unaware and unaffected by the changes in our life or that werewolves walked amongst them. I felt dizzy, the strain I’d just put on myself catching up and looking at Danny and Jake, I should have told them why this spot was so good. It wouldn’t be the total truth though, and deep down I knew the real reason why I came here and it had nothing to do with observing my territory.

I came here, because this was a neutral location and somehow I’d come to the conclusion a certain person would be here. The fact he wasn’t here was almost painful. It didn’t help that my headache was only getting worse and this time my vision was blurry from tears. In seconds, both of my brothers were fussing over me.

“We can go to the beach if you want!” Jake quickly told me as I was bombarded with more questions.

“Are your feet hot?”

“Did you hurt yourself on the way up?”

“Please don’t cry, just tell us what you want!”

Their voices mixed into one and I didn’t protest as Danny scooped me up to carry me home since the pair decided it was the best place for us to be. He put me down on the lounge and Jake went to get me some water.

I caught a glimpse of Rachelle sitting at the dining table with Mum before Danny blocked my view and neither of them came in when Dad did. It was then I smelt what was sitting on the plate in his hands too and my stomach growled with hunger.

“My Dad used to have some strange habits. His meat was always ordered rare and at home would never cook it which we thought was disgusting.” He said, sitting in front of me on the coffee table.

The steak was already in chunks, raw and slick with natural juices.

My mouth began to water.

“He’d disappear at night when all us kids were in bed and every now and then, Mum would let this giant stray dog in the backyard to play with us. I forgot about it until Will changed, and brought back memories of Shadow. That’s what your Uncle called him cause he was a black wolf too, well in the sunlight it was a rich brown colour and he had a star shape on his chest.”

Dad was actually taking all of this really well and maybe this was him trying to tell me he accepted it. I was given the plate and I wasn’t feeling too proud as I sat hunched over it, shoving the meat into my mouth. Danny and Jake had left us, and to Dad’s credit, if it was bothering him he didn’t let it show.

“Your Mum and I have been talking Sunshine. What if you skipped starting uni this year, take a gap year instead. You and Danny could get out of here, we have some money saved up. You could tour Europe, I know you and Rach planned on doing it one day anyway?” Dad was deadly serious, the calm and steady tone setting my shattered nerves at ease until the words actually registered.

“What?”

“We have a plan and we’ll do what this Fellan guy wants, up until the full moon. Once the change is complete for you, we’re going to get you guys out of here and as far away as we can.”

“Dad, what? You can’t-”

“I can. I’ve made a few calls and Noah is willing to help us. His family aren’t Will’s biggest fans, and I trust that kid.” He told me gruffly. I knew that tone. This wasn’t up for discussion. “They’ll be coming down a few days before to set up, and be ready.”

“What about you guys? You’re coming too, right?”

Instead he stood up and took back the now empty plate. I didn’t care as he ruffled the top of my head and his lack of answer told me enough. All I could do in protest was storm up to my room and demand to be left alone. So far it wasn’t turning out to be the greatest day of my life.

I had practically told my best friend I’d work on changing her into a werewolf if we all survived. I ran away practically pining for a guy that was behind screwing up mine and Danny’s lives and shoved a plate of raw meat down my throat in front my Dad who was willing to do whatever it took to save his kids, no matter the cost. Better than that, I then locked myself in my room to sulk like the teenager I am.

A week later, nothing had changed. Werewolf wise at least. Danny and I had though, despite not feeling, looking or acting any different. We officially became adults as it was our eighteenth birthday. Legally we could be served alcohol in pubs now and buy it from the bottle shops; though Danny had been getting away with that part for the last couple of years anyway. We could go into the city nightclubs and gamble. There was no need for parental permission to get a tattoo or married either and we could now vote.

Despite not feeling like celebrating, Mum insisted we dress up and go out for a nice family dinner. Apparently she had already made a booking at a restaurant that was still in the new and exclusive opening stage so cancelling it was non-negotiable.

I had made it my life goal these last few days, to avoid being stuck with them for long periods as no matter what was happening, the somber feeling that could only be related to the mood at a funeral took over thanks to other life changing events.

“You can fake it for one night Sar.” Danny whispered to me as we left the car park and started down the path to the restaurant. “I know this means a lot to Mum and Dad.”

Biting my tongue, I was tempted to lash out at him. Since when he did ever care about what meant a lot to them or how they were feeling. What about when he got dropped home by the local police after being caught drinking one the foreshore. Instead I simply nodded and tried to calm down by looking at the water.

It was a new building and the lawn alongside the path was still in obvious rows from where it had been freshly laid, I hadn’t been here before, but I had heard it was booked out weeks in advance. It was in a prime location, about forty minutes from home and with clear ocean views to put on their advertising, it only helped bump up the price. It wasn’t just those views the place had to brag about, but it was also in line with the jetty that stretched out for miles and held the title of being the longest wooden structure in the Southern Hemisphere.

The sky was still a mixture of hot pink, purple and orange, with the stars not quite ready to come out yet since the sun had just set. We walked in silence and since I had been busy staring at the well maintained blue huts at the start of the two kilometer walkway, I didn’t notice the fact the bulk of the restaurant had it’s lights off as much as I should have. A sweet, familiar scent found me as the sea breeze gently swept over us and I wondered if Rachelle had been here recently.

“Do you smell Rach?” I asked Danny, just as I stopped walking. Inhaling deeply, she wasn’t all I smelt. Nanna, Jake, my cousins - Noah. “Danny-”

“Come on you two.” Dad called and Danny only shrugged as he carried on walking, tapping away on his phone.

The doors opened for us from the inside, just as the smell of my family got stronger and the sudden explosion of light from beyond the entry revealed everyone to be standing there with drinks in hand, and balloons hanging from the ceiling in an impressive display of black and gold.

“Surprise!” The chorus sung out and I stumbled backwards as Mum and Dad disappeared to the side to leave us at the mercy of the partygoers.

Startled, uncovered my mouth with my hands as the surprise shocked me more than it probably should have and as if he sensed my urge to flee, Danny linked his arm in mine, pulling me completely inside.

I looked around to find eighteen themed decorations interrupting the sleek and classy design of the restaurant. More balloons with eighteen all over them covered the tables and to one side there was a photo collage of Danny and I ranging from our birth to graduation.

Appearing out of the mob, Rachelle attacked me first, soon making way for our Nanna before the seemingly endless crowd came and wished Danny and I happy birthday. Someone shoved a glass of champagne in my hand and a night of food, drinks and dancing with our friends and family was exactly what we needed to find a few hours of normalcy.

It took me ages to find a spot to sit down. The heels I had on were only worn since I had the expectation of sitting down at dinner, not standing up talking and dancing. The vibe of the room was uplifting, with everyone in a good mood, it could be easy to forget our problems. Would this be our last birthday we celebrated?

“So, were you surprised?” Wendi asked, coming to sit by me.

“Very!” I smiled.

I hadn’t even been able to talk much to my friends, but almost felt like it was better that way. Everyone would be moving on to the next stage of their lives and so the distance that had already started to form in the last couple of weeks could only be a good thing. Thinking of my friends as a weakness made me feel guilty, but if anything happened to them in this game Scott was playing - that would be a million times worse.

“So what’s going on with Rach and Jake?”

“Huh?” Instantly I found Rachelle dancing with him and I don’t think it really needed explaining. “Who knows.”

Wendi only laughed and before we could discuss it further, the music was lowered and Dad found the microphone by the sound system and tapped a knife gently against his beer glass to get everyone's attention.

“Could Sarah and Danny please come up here?”

It was then two of the waitstaff came from out the back with a black and gold cake in the shape of a one and eight between them. It was set up on the table beside Dad and someone from Danny’s friends made a whooping sound as he broke away from them to stand beside me as Mum cuddled up to Dads side.

“First of all, thank you all for coming tonight! I know this was hard for some of you to keep secret, and yes Rachelle, I’m looking at you!” Dad started, earning a few cheesy laughs from the crowd. “Where do I start? I’ve been thinking about what I can say to you both for a while now, some words of wisdom I could pass on to you. I could tell you life is really starting for you now, that there will be good and bad times ahead…”

Already his voice got a little shaky, and Mum rested her head against his shoulder as Dad took a deep breath. I ended up biting the inside of my cheek to try and stop myself from crying already and even Danny looked a little grim.

“I never thought that eighteen years could go so fast. It really feels like yesterday that your Mum and I stood over you two at the hospital, all tiny and new and wondered what the hell we were gonna do with two of you. Then my baby girl opened her beautiful blue eyes and smiled at me, while that chubby little hand held her brothers and we just knew we were going to be okay!” He looked down at Mum and the pair of them shared a knowing smile. “Then the nurse came in and told us she was just passing wind. All I could think, was yep, that’s my girl!”

More laughs while I just rolled my eyes and Danny nudged me with his elbow playfully. Mum took the microphone while Dad had a sip of his beer.

“Seriously though, Danny, you’ve pushed us to our limits and beyond, but underneath it all, you’re still our little boy. No matter how old you are or whatever life throws at you, don’t ever change. Your strong will is not a flaw, it’s a strength. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for and I hope you know how proud we are of you, of both of you and how much you are loved by all of us! Sarah, Danny, you two really are double the trouble and your father and I would be lost without you!”

Mum lost it then, and I hated how it was more like she was saying goodbye. The microphone fell to the table with a screeching thud as she hugged us both to her tightly, and everyone clapped.

“Speech, speech!” Mums brother called out.

Once Mum got herself together and Dad wiped away the smudged mascara from under her eyes, the microphone was passed to Danny who only stared at it like it was poisonous and it was handed to me.

“We love you two guys, all of you and thank you for coming down to surprise us. We were definitely surprised!” Again everyone politely chuckled and looking at Danny, he only shrugged. “Being a twin has never been boring and we really owe Mum and Dad a lot. We managed to survive our childhood, well, Danny managed to survive since he did everything I dared him to and I survived the telling offs Mum would give me. I’m glad I have you as my brother Danny, happy birthday.”

“You two little sister!” He laughed as he gave me a hug.

Rachelle was suddenly there taking our photo and Becky was with her. “I always thought Sarah was born first?”

“I was!” I argue, but it lacks seriousness.

Mum directs us to the cake and once we each have a knife, happy birthday is sung and we cut a cake each. Danny is quick to disappear back to his friends while I go to mine and I consider going to check on Annabelle, but the death glare she sends me keeps me from going over. Her hair is also a yellow shade of blonde and I guess what ever bonding we had started didn’t exist anymore. I stick close to Rachelle, avoiding Noah and his family as we go back to the dance floor.

“So, what's the deal with you and Jake?” Helena pounces the second we join them.

Rachelle looks offended. “Jake?”

“We’re not blind. You two have been looking at each other all night!” Wendi gives Rachelle ‘the look’ and the grin on my best friends face says enough.

“Friends, just friends! We’ve just found a few things in common and he’s been a good friend these last few days. That’s all.”

They all nod, not quite believing her and I can feel their eyes on me now. Of course the subject isn’t dropped.

“Jealous Sar? Could’ve missed your chance with him! What did happened with the convict?” Helena asks.

I instantly bristle at that, not liking her tone or attitude. I stop swaying, not into dancing now and glare at her. There isn’t any stopping how cold my tone is. “Nothing, and don’t keep calling him that.”

“Woah! Sarah, chill. No need to be a bitch.” She snaps, holding her hands up in surrender.

“It’s her party and she can be if she wants too!” Rachelle sings, laughing awkwardly to try and break the sudden tension.

They’re all looking at me weird, and I know I shouldn’t have growled at her like that. I never get angry, not at them anyway and I never talk like that either. Becky joins Rachelle in an attempt to clear the air and suggests trying to spike the jug of juice sitting by the bar since none of them are old enough to drink yet. While they head of giggling about it, I start towards the back entrance; needing some fresh air.

I’ve had maybe, four glasses of champagne for the whole night, trying to avoid alcohol yet I’m already starting to feel a buzz off it. I can’t enjoy it. All that light headed sensation does is remind me of the side effects of taking Scott’s flesh and it doesn’t help that I can’t get over my mood from snapping at Helena. The music is too loud, and everyone is talking, laughing - it was too much. I needed a minute of peace and quiet.

“Where you going?” Rachelle follows me cautiously.

“Just, need some air. I’ll be back in a minute.” I smile, trying to reassure her and with a nod she heads back to the others. I look around quickly, and no one is paying me any attention as I slip outside.

I start towards the carpark, only to instead turn towards the jetty. I have to be careful of my steps as the concrete changes to wooden paneling; the stiletto tip of my heel not exactly boardwalk friendly. The breeze is cool and a welcome change from air conditioned stuffiness of the restaurant. Below me, the orange glow of the street lamps lights up the ocean below so a perfect reflection is on the calm ocean surface.

The security gate blocks off the rest of the jetty and I take a seat on the wooden bench outside one of the blue huts, barely paying attention to the assortment of brochures and things on the wall. It’s not exactly quiet out here. The bass follows me and fills the night, and the party lights flash onto the gardens by the window. I should be in there; making the most of what time I had left with everyone.

Not knowing about what my parents had planned was bothering me more and more now. I wasn’t going to let them get hurt, especially if there was something I could do to avoid it and not just my parents. Danny, Jake, to an extent - Rachelle. Noah and his family were taking a risk, but if Dad trusted them, I did too. I never had reason to doubt my parents judgement, just their plan. It wasn’t just our lives at stake either; there was also Michael and the Blakes to consider.

Movement in the dark caught my attention and in that second I was positive my heart fell to the floor. I recognized the smooth, predatory stride of the lone figure that came from the dark section of the car park instantly. The wind was blowing the wrong way, but I didn’t need to catch his scent. He kept his head down as he passed under each street light and as the path branched towards where I was and the restaurant, he paused before looking right at me.

I had to be seeing things.

He was gone just as quickly as he came, but so was I as I tried not to run after him. I hesitated at the section that Michael had stopped in, looking back at the party where I should be before looking into the night where I wanted to go. Two steps down the path and Danny was calling my name.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I was just gonna swap my shoes, I had a pair of flats in the car!” I lied effortlessly.

“K. Be quick, you might miss out on cake.”

I watched as he closed the door and this time I did run, my shoes not bothering me so much after all.

The motorbike was parked in the corner of the carpark, where it was dark and no light seemed to intrude on Michael’s attempt at staying hidden in the shadows. He casually leant against it; the silver handlebars managing to get some of the moonlight to reflect on them. I felt like a mouse, nervous and unsure, while a cat sat waiting for the right moment to pounce. I knew we were alone, and for just a second being here - seeing him, didn’t seem like a bad idea.

Michael stood up and opened his arms from where they had been folded against his chest and in a heartbeat they were wrapped around me. He smelt like traffic; fuel and dirt and instinctively I pushed my nose into his neck. Leather and something that was purely masculine and all him took over from the tell tale signs of his travelling and I couldn’t get enough. Never would I have guessed smell gave away so much or could bring out so many feelings and - urges.

The worst, or maybe the best part was, Michael seemed as affected as I was until I managed to take a step back and try to act like a normal person; not what ever that just was. It didn’t matter, because his hands soon cupped my face and I was just as mesmerized by his smile as I was by his scent.

“Happy birthday, Bright Eyes.” Michael whispered.

I closed my eyes as he then did exactly what I wanted him to do. He kissed me hard and desperately, as his hands dropped to tighten around my waist while mine went up to go around his neck. The need to be as close as possible was even stronger than the urge I had to smell him; the weirdness of the whole situation lost on me as I didn’t want this moment to end.

The stress of the last few weeks vanished and all of the werewolf things I’d been dealing with were non-existent. I felt relaxed, safe and oddly indestructible. Michael had told me before that Danny couldn’t save me like he could and now I understood completely; just like his rule of three.

Somewhere deep in my mind, Sensible Sarah was trying to ring the alarm bell, screaming that this was as bad as it was great, and the warning of staying away from Michael now seemed like a subtle suggestion. Everything went quiet in my mind as I ended up completely lost in our kiss.

If only Scott’s rules didn’t feel so good to break.