Breakaway: An Accidental Marriage Hockey Romance (Sinners on the Ice)

The sun slowly begins to set, a golden glow bathing the streets, casting long shadows, and gradually cooling the air. The water in the pool below mirrors the sky, where soft hues of orange and pink blend together. I sit on a chair on my patio, my laptop on my lap and my phone pressed to my ear.

“How’s Michigan treating you?” I ask Colton, as I finish booking a hotel room in Vegas.

“It’s good to be home. Michael and Meghan are happy to spend time with their grandparents, because they obviously let them do way more than Ava and I do,” my teammate says, making me chuckle.

“Your kids have you wrapped around their fingers, man. You’re delusional if you think that’s not true.”

“I’m not as strict as Ava, but that doesn’t mean I let them do whatever they want,” he retorts.

“With Michael? Maybe not. But Meghan’s got you tied up in knots.” I laugh as I remember him dressed up in a Paw Patrol costume. “You were the most adorable police dog I’ve ever seen.”

“Remind me to never invite you to our Halloween party ever again,” he grumpily scoffs. “What have you been up to? Did you decide where you want to go?”

“Just booked a trip to Vegas.” I close my laptop and put it on the small wooden table next to me.

“Vegas?” Colton asks. “Are you going alone?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Because no one goes to Vegas alone, Roman. It’s a place where you go to have fun, let loose, and not worry about anything. You need someone to look after you.”

“I think I’ll be fine.” I shrug, looking down at the pool and seeing two girls sitting on the edge, their legs dangling in the water. One of them is my neighbor, a cute brunette with an inviting smile and tits to die for. We’ve talked a few times, and last week she invited me to her place for coffee. I was teetering on three hours of sleep with a massive headache, so I said no, and I don’t think she took it well.

“At least tell me what hotel you’re staying at so I can check on you.”

“Fuck off, Colt. I’m not a child.”

“You’re three years younger than me,” he counters, laughing, happy he was able to rile me up. “But, seriously, Roman, I wish you’d take someone with you. It would be way more fun.”

A light knock makes me jump, and I turn my head to notice Nevaeh standing behind the closed glass door to the patio. I nod, and she slides the door open, stepping outside and slumping down onto the chair across from me. She pulls her legs to her chest and wraps an arm around her ankles. Her sapphire blue eyes focus on me, and a little smile plays on her lips.

“Roman?” Colton’s voice in my ear makes me finally stop staring at Nevaeh.

“Sorry, I just spaced out.” I glance at the girl across from me. She’s no longer watching me; her eyes are diverted to the pool. My friend’s words echo in my head, but I push them away. Asking her to go to Vegas with me? She’ll think I’m crazy. “Everything’s going to be fine. I was pretty wild when I was younger; you don’t need to worry about me.”

“I remember your stories,” Colton says. A kid’s voice gets louder on the other end of the phone. “Sorry, man. Meghan wants me to help her find her teddy.”

“Of course. Tell the wife and kids I said hi.”

“Will do. Bye.”

I hang up, put my phone on the table beside my laptop, and peer at Nevaeh. She’s wearing a white crop top and gray sweatpants, her hair collected in two braids. Comfort. The word comes to my mind, and my body fills with warmth. She’s calm, and her skin is glowing in the light of the setting sun. My heart starts to beat faster, my eyes glued to her face. She’s so beautiful…I can’t even force myself to look away.

“Roman?” Nevaeh says, and I blink away the spell she put on me. “I said I’m sorry for interrupting. It’s getting late, and I thought maybe we could order something. I don’t really want to eat alone.”

“No worries, and that sounds good to me.” I nod, standing up and collecting my things from the table. She joins me, and I let her in first, sliding the door closed once we’re in my bedroom. I put my laptop on my bed and slip my phone into my pocket, meeting her gaze the second I look up. “What do you usually have for dinner?”

“It’s not what I usually have, but I’m really craving pizza.” Nevaeh closes her eyes. There’s a dreamy expression on her face, and a cute smile adorns her features. “Anything with mushrooms and cheese…God, even thinking about it…” She opens her eyes, noticing me staring at her. “Sorry.”

Chuckling, I shake my head and go to the kitchen with her padding beside me. Without her heels on, she doesn’t even reach my shoulder. My lips stretch into a big smile; a nickname flashes in my head, and I know it suits her better than anything.

I glance at her, pulling the menu for the closest pizza place out from the drawer. “Let’s order some pizza, Malyshka⁠1.”

“God, this is the best pizza I’ve ever had!” Nevaeh sighs. The nape of her neck rests on the back of the couch, and her eyes are closed.

“Or you were just really hungry,” I say, propping my feet up on the coffee table.

She snorts. One of her eyes opens and peers at me. “You’re not going to ruin my good mood.”

I raise my hands in front of me in surrender. “Your wish is my command, Malyshka.”

That gets her full attention, because she sits up straighter with her gaze trained on me, curiosity swimming behind her irises. Arching an eyebrow, she half turns to me. “That’s the second time today you’ve called me that. What does it mean?”

“What does what mean?”

“Ma…something.” Her cheeks taint a shade of pink, seemingly embarrassed.

“Maybe I’ll tell you one day.”

Nevaeh stares at me from under furrowed brows for a moment, then she shakes her head. “As long as it’s not ‘doll,’ you’re fine.”

“It’s not, I promise.”

A comfortable silence settles between us, our eyes locked on each other. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but the way my body warms and my heartbeat quickens makes me break eye contact. She said it’s complicated between her and her boyfriend. Last night at the club is the best evidence of that. She’s dealing with a breakup, and making a move on her now? The most reckless idea ever. A ride on my Kawasaki is a way safer adrenaline rush. Risking my heart isn’t worth it, especially since it never fully recovered after my brother’s death.

“Where did you decide to go?” Nevaeh asks, sitting cross-legged.

“Vegas.” I subtly move away from her, putting more distance between us.

With her eyebrows pinched together, she studies me, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “You’re going to Vegas? Alone?”

“Now you sound like Colton.”

“Well, that’s because it’s weird. Most people don’t go to Sin City alone, Roman. Where is the fun in that? Who’s going to stop you from betting all of your money on red? Or from wasting your money at the strip clubs? Or from getting stupid drunk?”

“I will.” With a shrug, I glance at my brother’s jersey. “I know how to look after myself.”

When I return my gaze to Nevaeh, I notice her staring at Maksim’s jersey too. The last thing I need is her asking questions. These days, Mom is the only person I can talk to about my twin and have it hurt less and not more. The fear of losing my cool in front of someone I barely know—or, even worse, opening up to someone new—is huge. Not even my teammates know exactly what happened. Just Colton, but he never pushes me to talk about it. He understands.

The pain of losing such a big part of me is never-ending. It lies beneath all the bricks I built up around myself; it’s injected deep into my core. I don’t really let anyone close to me anymore, because anything can trigger it. Falling deep into the hole of self-destruction isn’t new to me…but I’m afraid next time it happens I won’t find a way out by myself.

“I hope you have fun,” Nevaeh says quietly with a small smile.

“Me too.” I shift, slowly calculating how I can retreat back to my room. I don’t want to make her feel unwelcome, even if I really do need a moment to myself. Her closeness plays games with my head, and I want it to stop. “Do you like your room?”

“It’s perfect. I honestly have no idea how I’m going to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Just promise to never drink that much again with someone you don’t really know. That will be enough.”

Bursting into giggles, Nevaeh leans closer until our eyes are level. “I promise,” she says, her gaze darting to my lips. The movement is brief, but I still catch it. Swallowing my nerves, I rear back and throw my hand over the back of the couch.

‘It’s complicated’ girls are taboo.

Thanks, inner voice. As if I didn’t already know that.

“What are you planning to do this weekend?” I even out my breathing, putting a polite smile on my face.

Nevaeh frowns, and scrunches her nose. She fidgets away from me until she’s out of reach. With her arms folded over her chest, she averts her gaze to her legs. “My priority is to find an apartment. Then I think I’ll buy myself some ice cream and watch something on TV.”

“So you’re that kind of girl?” I cock an eyebrow at her. “The kind who eats ice cream to forget about her problems?”

“Nothing makes me feel better than chocolate fudge brownie. You should try it; it’s heaven.”

“No thanks. I’ll take your word for it.”

Biting her bottom lip, Nevaeh looks around. She seems lost. What if my behavior confuses her? I’m acting like a jerk, giving her whiplash with how often my mood changes. Not that I can help myself…being attracted to someone I can’t have is a struggle. Reasons to stay away flash in my head. Too bad my heart lives a life of its own.

“It’s getting late,” I say, taking my feet off the coffee table. “I’m going to head to my room. I still have a suitcase to pack.”

Her hand flies to her hair, and she tucks a few locks behind her ear, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right. I have an apartment to look for.”

We stand up at the same time, avoiding looking at each other. With a heavy heart, in an atmosphere that feels like there isn’t enough air, I go to my bedroom and don’t look back.

Breathing rapidly, I sit on my bed, balling my fists. My face is wet from tears, and I grit my teeth, angry with myself. I throw my blanket aside, stand up from the bed, and snatch my phone from the nightstand. Two a.m. Wow, is this a new fucking record?

Releasing an exasperated sigh, I wipe my face with my hands and slap my cheeks. Hard. I would’ve given up on a lot of things if physical pain could solve the ache in my chest. The slap dulls it for a moment, makes the memories quieter, but it never stops it completely. The ache is always with me.

Tiptoeing out of my bedroom, I go to the living room and turn on the TV, launching Netflix. The volume is as low as possible when I turn on the first episode of Peaky Blinders. I’ve watched this so many times, I can quote the characters. It’s my favorite show, and it always quiets my disturbing thoughts, letting me lose myself in the world of Thomas Shelby.

I’m halfway through the first episode, when my eyelids grow heavy. Leaning back into the couch, I nestle more comfortably in case I fall asleep. The hand on my shoulder makes me jerk awake, and I barely stop myself from yelling. Glancing over my shoulder, I find Nevaeh standing behind me, an empty glass in her hand.

“I didn’t know you were up,” she mutters, giving me a small smile. “Sorry I scared you.”

“It’s fine.” My voice sounds hoarse as I run a hand down my face. “Did I wake you?”

Nevaeh shakes her head, rounding the couch and sitting down beside me. She’s still in her clothes from earlier. The only difference is her hair, which is pulled into a little messy bun on top of her head, a pencil peeking through it.

“I have an article due in a week, and I decided to work on it.” She lifts her glass. “I came out here to get some water. Can’t sleep?”

I nod. “I decided to watch something to see if that’d help me.”

Her gaze drifts to the TV, her eyes following the people on the screen. “I’ve heard so much about this show, but I’ve never gotten around to watching it. Is it worth it?”

“One hundred percent. It’s the best show ever. You should watch it.”

“I’ll think about it.” She smiles, her eyes roaming over my face. “You’re going to sleep through your flight to Vegas.”

Then an idea pops into my head, and before I can think it through I blabber, “Want to come with me?”

Her eyelashes flutter; she’s gawking at me, slack-jawed. “I thought you didn’t need company.”

I need company more than anything these days, even if I don’t want to admit it aloud.

“Prosto⁠2…Sorry, I was just thinking back to what you and Colton said, and I guess you’re right. It’d be more fun to go with someone,” I mumble. “I’ll pay for everything; you don’t need to worry about anything. I’m sure you’ll need a good chunk of money for a deposit on an apartment.”

Nevaeh continues to stare at me in silence. The voices of the actors on the TV barely reach my ears, and my heartbeat echoes in my chest so loudly, the sound sears through my skin. With a lift of her shoulder, she smiles.

“Why not?”

1 Малышка — Baby girl

2 Просто… — Just…