Breakaway: An Accidental Marriage Hockey Romance (Sinners on the Ice)

My eyes fly open, and I sit up in bed. The room is dark; the closed curtains don’t let in even a sliver of light from the street. I rub my palms over my face, feeling my heart galloping in my chest. Waking up so abruptly isn’t super healthy, and my head feels heavy. With a loud yawn, I toss my blanket aside and jump to my feet.

I head straight to Roman’s bedroom. I tiptoe, but the tapping sound of my bare feet echoes through the quiet space. When I stop in front of his door, my palms are sweating. I feel nervous. Pressing my ear to the door, I listen carefully, silently hoping it was just a dream. What if it’s all in my head? What if he just can’t sleep and⁠—

A sob bolts through the air and goes right through me. My heart squeezes painfully in my chest, and I clutch my tee, finding it hard to breathe. It’s one of those situations I would’ve been happy to be wrong about, and now I feel miserable because I’m right. Roman has nightmares, and they keep him awake.

I hesitate, debating in my head what to do…or if I should do anything at all. The evening we spent together having dinner and watching Peaky Blinders brought some peace between us, something both of us really needed after he snapped at me because of the flowers. And yet, we’re not friends. We don’t talk about any personal stuff, just share funny stories and discuss the show we’re watching. He’s reserved and distant, and I have no clue how he’d react if I went into his room.

I better go back⁠—

“Maks, net, pozhaluysta⁠1.” His quiet voice mixed with his sobs makes me freeze on the spot, silencing all the thoughts in my head. “Pozhaluysta…⁠2”

It would be so much easier if I could understand what he was saying. Him and his Russian, dammit.

Taking a deep breath, I put my hand on the doorknob and push the door open. As slowly as possible. I bite the inside of my cheek, padding into his room and stopping beside his bed. The moonlight coming from the living room through the open door casts a shadow on his face, traces of his tears making me dig my nails into my skin. Roman is lying on his right side, his knees pulled to his chest. His hands are hidden under his pillow. His blanket is on the floor, and the sheets look like a total mess.

My heart beats so violently, like a drum reverberating through my body, I’m surprised he doesn’t wake up. Uncertainty engulfs me as I bend down and lift his blanket. There’s nothing I want more than to help him deal with the night terrors that torture him. It’s like a mantra that resonates in my brain, getting louder and louder with every breath I take.

Fuck it.

Rounding his bed, I climb in from the other side. With calculated slowness, I move closer, cover him with his blanket, and search his face in the dimness of his room. His jaw is clenched hard, and I hear him grind his teeth in his sleep. His usually plump lips are pursed into a thin line, his eyebrows etched together. Even in his sleep I can see the tension in his rigid muscles. Whatever he’s dreaming about is still haunting him.

I lick my lips and gradually lower myself onto my right side, moving forward inch by inch until I’m under his blanket too. Closing my eyes, I snake my hand around his waist from behind until my chest is up against his broad back. My breath gets stuck in my throat from the contact. I wait for him to wake up, to kick me out of his bed, but it doesn’t happen.

It feels like time has stopped. Little by little, his body relaxes into my embrace. Roman’s no longer muttering or crying, his breathing is deep and rhythmic. Mustering the courage, I slide my hand higher and feel his heartbeat. Steady and slow. His nightmare seems to be gone, and he’s sound asleep, quietly snoring beside me. My eyes grow heavier, and I’m trying my hardest to stay awake.

The logical part of my brain knows I should leave. The illogical part of me, the one that rules my heart, wants me to stay. He smells woodsy and powdery. Notes of sandalwood and, strangely, coconut are easily recognizable. His scent injects under my skin, warming my insides and making my head dizzy. It feels good to be so close to him, and it makes it really hard to resist my attraction to him. And yet, I should resist. Using his vulnerable state to enjoy his closeness is wrong.

I force myself up and out of his bed. Back in my room, I hide under my blanket and close my eyes. His scent crept under my skin, igniting a tingling sensation all over my body and flooding my veins with his presence. The beating of his heart still echoes in my ears, even when sleep overtakes me.

He’s all I feel…and all I dream about. And I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

“Roman said he already bought a gift for Ava,” I tell Angie, holding my phone between my ear and my shoulder while rummaging through my purse. Where are my damn car keys? “Do you think I should buy something for her myself?”

“Well, you’re going as a couple, so one gift is enough. But if you want to make a good impression on Roman’s friends, I’d suggest you bring something small. Maybe flowers? Or chocolates?”

“I was thinking maybe flowers for Ava and something sweet for their kids, but I’m not sure.” I finally fish my keys from my purse.

Angie chuckles softly. “You’re taking the role of Roman’s wife very seriously. His friends will know what happened in Vegas and why you decided to stay together. You don’t need to pretend.”

“I’m not pretending,” I blurt, instantly biting my bottom lip. Me and my big mouth. “What I mean is, his friends have already met me, but we’ve never really talked to each other. If I’m going to be stuck with him till summer, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll see them all more often. I don’t want it to be awkward.”

“It won’t be awkward. I promise,” Angie murmurs. The distant chatter on her end of the phone becomes louder. “How are things between you and Roman?”

I unlock my car and slide inside, keeping silent. When the door is closed, I relax into my seat and let my shoulders sag. “We’re good. He’s a pretty awesome roommate.”

“Just roommate?”

“Just roommate.” I confirm. “Nothing has happened between us. Not in Vegas, not in his apartment. He’s made it clear that he’s not interested in me, just like I’m not looking for a relationship. I need to find myself before I get back on the market.”

“I thought you⁠—”

“Jesus!” I blurt, cutting Angie off. Travis is hurrying toward my car with a huge bouquet of red roses. I grip the steering wheel. I should’ve left the second I got in my car.

“Nev, is everything okay?”

“Travis is here. Again,” I grit through my teeth, faking a smile as he waves at me. “I gotta go, Angie. See you on Saturday.”

“See you, Nev. Bye.”

My ex stops near my car, and I roll down my window. “Hey, Trav.”

“These are for you.” He extends the flowers to me, smiling from ear to ear. “I went to your office, but Gigi said you’d already left, so I rushed to the parking garage. I’m so glad you’re still here.”

“Travis, you shouldn’t have⁠—”

“Please, Nev, take them.” He bends down and puts the bouquet on my lap. “I know how much you love roses. It’s just a little something to make you smile.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you have plans this weekend?” And here we go. “I thought maybe we could do something together. Maybe take Happy for a walk in the park.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Trav. We broke up.”

Travis winces, sticking out his bottom lip. “I remember.” With a rejected sigh, he hangs his head low. “We were friends before, Nev. Why can’t we start by going back to the basics? Spend time together, just walking the dog and talking like in the good old days. Happy misses you.”

Tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, I exhale loudly. “Maybe on Sunday?”

“Deal.” His face lights up with a smile. “Send me your new address, and I’ll come pick you up.”

“No need. Let’s just meet at Discovery Park at two p.m., if that’s okay with you?”

“Sure.” Travis leans over and kisses me on the cheek. “See you, Nev. Looking forward to Sunday.”

“Bye.” I wave curtly, watching him step away from my car. My hands feel clammy, and nausea forms in the pit of my stomach. I broke up with him so he could move on and forget about me, and meeting him for a walk in the park definitely won’t help.

I fucked up.

I park my car, slowly get out, and take the bouquet from the passenger seat. The smell of roses is strong and pleasant, and I hide my nose in velvety petals. I hope Roman won’t notice me bringing home flowers again. I don’t want him lecturing me. Especially since I know he’s right. I just…couldn’t bring myself to throw the bouquet away. It’s too beautiful.

I stroll toward the apartment building, holding the roses close to my chest. Despite not getting enough sleep, I feel good. I managed to get ahead of the new article I’m working on, and I also made good progress on next month’s issue after I got approval from my boss, Kai. It was a good day, and I hope my evening will be good too.

Loud laughter comes from my left, and with my peripheral vision, I notice two people heading to the front door too. I turn my head, and my eyes zero in on Roman with a tall brunette. Her painted red lips wear a seductive grin, and she bats her eyelashes at him, touching his arm affectionately. He’s carrying two grocery bags and nodding his head at whatever she’s telling him. I lower my gaze down her body, scowling at the deep neckline of her dress. I swear her breasts look like they are ready to pop out. A gnawing feeling forms in my chest, and my jaw ticks. My fingers start to tremble, and I tighten my grip on the bouquet, hissing the second a sharp thorn pricks my skin.

Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Nevaeh.

“Shut up,” I scold myself.

I’m too far away for them to hear me, but Roman looks up, and our gazes lock. Just for a moment, because he drops his eyes to the bouquet in my hands. He smirks, shaking his head in disbelief.

Screw him. He has no right to judge me.

Rushing forward, I line up with Roman and his girl and enter the building without a glance in their direction. The door closes behind me with a bang, and I take the stairs, leaping two at a time. The clicking sound of my heels thunders through the space, but I don’t pay any attention to the ruckus. All I want is to be alone, as far from this infuriating man as humanly possible.

Not even his delicious food will lure me out of my room.

I sit up in bed, looking around frenziedly. The darkness in my bedroom doesn’t leave any doubt that it’s still night. Reaching over to my nightstand, I snatch my phone and check the time. Three a.m. Almost the same time I woke up last night.

My chest rises and falls with my erratic breathing. I know why I’m awake. Just like yesterday, his sobs disturbed my sleep, twisting my gut into a tight knot. I lift my blanket, ready to climb out of bed, but memories of Roman with the brunette, and him coming home thirty minutes after I did flood my mind, keeping me rooted in place.

Plopping down on my back, I cover my head with another pillow to muffle the sounds. The room becomes silent, and I close my eyes.

His nightmares aren’t my problem.

1 Макс, нет, пожалуйста. — Maks, please, don’t.

2 Пожалуйста… — Please…