Born From Ash (Book I of The Flame Trilogy)

I sit on the bed, my blank gaze trained on the clock as the minutes tick by. The Alpha said dinner is being served at 8 and I certainly am not going to arrive there a minute earlier. At precisely 7:58pm I decide to move, counting as I walk to make sure that I reach at the specified time.

I stand outside the door that the Alpha had shown me hours earlier waiting.

57, 58, 59...

I push open the doors, what I find is completely unexpected. There are people sitting all around. Various tables are filled, most everyone laughing whilst they chat. It’s an unfamiliar and warm environment, something that I’m unaccustomed to. I don’t let the discomfort get to me though; I’ve dealt with worse.

I never once thought that I could feel intimidated, but being surrounded by this sense of family and love, I know that I was wrong. The discomfort I feel is startlingly unexplainable, like insects crawling under my skin. It’s a worse kind of pain or irritation than any torture or humiliation I had been subjected to in Shadow Fang; it’s an internal, covert embarrassment. It’s knowing that I don’t belong here.

The looks of the other pack members are obvious, even if they try to hide it. I can practically smell the curiosity and caution in the air around me. One bitch in particular catches a glimpse of the ink on my wrists before looking away in alarm, another male’s eyes rake over me as if sizing me up. They linger on my legs before sending me a wink, perhaps if I wasn’t so anxious, I may have played along.

It doesn’t escape my notice that nobody is actually eating. A long table sits at the back of the hall, it doesn’t stand out except for the fact that it’s inhabited by higher ranking wolves in the pack. Dimitri sits in the center most seat, overlooking the rest of the large hall, the seat to his left is empty; the only seat not filled at the table.

To his right sits his Beta and who I presume is his mate, a slender woman with her hair pulled back into a braid. Even from where I stand, I can see that she has raven black hair and light brown eyes and even though she’s sitting I can tell that she is tall- maybe around 5′6.

Next to her sits a man who looks like the male version of her; same raven hair, same striking hazel brown eyes and the same high cheekbones. He has to be her brother, there is no mistaking it. The only notable difference between the two is that the man is slightly taller, maybe 6′0, and has a thick, sturdy frame; something seemingly common to all the men in this pack.

Before I get an opportunity to survey the other people at the table, Dimitri’s intense stare drills into me, silently commanding me to present myself to him. I take a deep breath, walking towards him with my head held high. He pulls out the chair beside him in a wordless command to sit. I would’ve gladly disobeyed but noticing all the predatory stares on me I don’t really want to sit anywhere else.

It doesn’t matter where I go, I don’t fit in here. Little does anyone know how different I really am.

The moment I take my seat, everything seems to stop. The hall is so silent that you could hear a pin drop. I’ve always been taught that it’s highly treasonous for anyone but the Alpha Female to sit directly on the left of the Alpha, but I keep the thought to myself.

Once I sit down, the Alpha places his hand on my thigh. His touch alone is enough to send pleasurable sparks through my entire body, and straight to my core. I don’t bother fighting him on it, I’ve seen my fair share of challenged males taking bitches regardless of the crowd to remind her of his dominance. Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, the sparks are kind of soothing.

Then with a nod, everything goes right back to the way it was a few moments earlier; laughter and chatting enveloping the place once more.

Food is brought around by the Omegas, dish after dish like a fountain of food. Each dish smells rich and divine- it is truly a banquet fit for an Alpha, and better yet there is plenty of it meaning that there’s more than enough for everyone. There is a wide selection of meats and other foods, some completely unfamiliar.

Usually I have to fight for every scrap of food; I’m used to greedy males trying to steal more than their share and had to be put in their place. It was something that Aleksandr did on purpose, not only was it entertaining for him, but he truly led his pack with the brutal ‘survival of the fittest mentality’. The weak were not tolerated.

The whole pack waits for their Alpha to take the first bite in some kind of display of warped respect. Personally, I think the entire display is nothing short of stupid, it’s no wonder why Aleksandr thought these packs are weak. Maybe I’m still caught in the ways of that pack, or that I don’t understand this one. In Shadow Fang we all listen to Aleksandr because we knew the consequences, not because we respect him; maybe this strange food ritual is some genuine kind of tribute. Either way, I still think it’s stupid.

I stick to the cold cuts and heavy carbs that I know will fill me, and since I don’t have to worry about food, I’m able to get a better look at the people around me. Now that I’m much closer, I could read their auras too. They all have somewhat powerful auras- well much stronger than the rest of the pack, they were still nowhere close to what I was used to seeing. All except for the bitch I noticed earlier; I was mistaken she isn’t the Beta’s mate, she’s a regular Kappa, oddly.

“This is my mate.” Alpha addresses the table.

There is a mix of surprise and interest around the table as their eyes all flock to me, taking me in. I keep my face blank, not allowing the annoyance to show through the mask I’ve been schooled to keep. Instead I ignore them all, eating my food. His eyes stay on me as I eat, I could feel them- in fact it isn’t just him, several of the people around the table watch me as I continue to devour my food.

I suck some sauce off my fingers before looking up with a blank guarded gaze. It’s only then I realise that they have strange silver utensils in their hands to pick up their food, and they’re looking at me strangely.

A dark-skinned girl, who sat next to the twins, clears her throat to speak first- with permission from her Alpha first of course. She is distinctly different to all the others at the table with her tightly curled hair and little freckles splattering her face.

“Hi, I’m Angel,” She smiles. “I am Viktor’s mate, he’s our pack delta.”

She points to the male beside her, a bright smile taking over her face as she looks at him in wonder. His brown eyes settle on her, twinkling happily at the sight of the woman beside him. Her mate’s chest puffs in pride and dominance at the mention of his title to which I fight the urge to scoff.

A small giggle escapes her when he nuzzles the side of her face affectionately, kissing her temple. Her laugh is airy and feminine just like everything else about her. Everything about her is simply effortless; if I had the capability to recognize it, I would say she’s beautiful. The thought alone pisses me off; she is everything that I will never be.

I try to remember what my laugh sounded like. When was the last time I laughed- a real, happy, meaningful laugh? I can’t remember. Inside of me, a sharp stabbing pain shoots straight through me, startling me greatly; there’s an emptiness in my chest, swallowing me whole and I have to fight to control myself- something I’ve hardly had to do before.

I’m brought back to my surroundings when the woman- Angel- continues to speak introducing all the people at the table.

“This is Mikhail, our Gamma and his mate Irina. Our Beta, Alexei and Viktor’s twin sister Viktorya.” She speaks proudly, her bright smile never once leaving her face not even when she receives my blank, uninterested one in return. I don’t mention that I’ve already met the asshole they call a Beta.

Mikhail is impressive, for lack of a better word. He’s taller than Alexei, but only by an inch or so. He, like most of his pack, has a pale face with light eyes and dark hair. The real impressive part however, is his build; just from a short glance around the room it’s evident that he has possibly the largest frame in the pack- even rivalling Alpha Dimitri’s. He would fit right in with some of the demons in Shadow Fang.

His mate is smaller, a lot smaller than him. She has the same pale skin but has slightly different features, light green eyes and blonde hair. I figure she probably came from another pack before she had met her mate.

I go back to eating only slightly irked that I’d been interrupted in the first place, keeping my ears open in case I hear any useful information when the others begin to speak. I can still feel a few of their gazes on me as I continue to eat, the annoyance getting harder to mask as it rises within me.

“Weren’t you taught to use cutlery?” The Beta snorts without throwing me a glance.

My lip curls back in response, sending a small, feral, warning growl his way. I’m not afraid of the bastard and I will happily take any challenge he throws my way. Alpha looks down at us both with a hard look as if to tell us ‘enough’. Alexei backs down immediately, but I don’t. I hold his gaze, challenging him silently until a deadly growl escapes him, warning me that there would be consequences if I dared to continue this path.

There is a conflict of power within me as my beast side easily (too easily if you ask me) submitted to this Alpha wolf. But there’s also something deeper, something darker, within me that doesn’t want to back down. I know exactly what it is, and that is exactly what makes me back down tilting my neck in submission. Any emotion that had been on my face gets completely schooled back to that emotionless mask that I’ve been trained to always wear.

I can’t let it come out. I need this Alpha’s help, and if he sees, he would never assist me. I have to play nice, much to my dismay.

I end up eating seconds, then thirds, gorging on the food in front of me. Food has always been so scarce I can hardly remember the last time that I was able to eat properly until I was satisfied.

As long as I’m here, I will be taking full advantage of the fact that I’m allowed to eat my fill.

“You sure can eat! When was the last time you ate?” Viktorya chides, though there’s no malice in her words. In fact she even lets out a small giggle. I guess she meant her words to be funny.

Perhaps it would’ve been, if my life was different.

“Can’t remember.” I gruffly answer truthfully, taking another bite.

“Oh, you poor thing.” The woman Angel had introduced as Irina, suddenly gasps horrified.

From where she sits opposite me, she’s a couple inches shorter than me. She looks a picture of perfection- her blonde hair like a halo and her green eyes shining with raw pity. She can’t be much older than me from the looks of her, an innocent and shy countenance colouring her character.

“I do not need nor want your pity.” I hiss harshly, baring my canines at her. Her insult is above my pride and I will not admit weakness to anyone, especially not a prissy, weakling like her.

Her mate beside her tenses, his arm immediately shielding her from me as he sends me a warning growl as a threat to back down from his mate. I’m glad he sees me as a threat, because I am one.

Irina, probably realising that I’m not entirely set on murderous intent, merely annoyed at her insult, immediately tries to disable her tense mate. “I didn’t mean to offend you, I could only imagine how horrible it must be not being able to eat for a long time.”

I eye her with a savage glint noting the genuine concern in her own eyes. For the second time tonight, that strange feeling of emptiness swells within me like a pit in my stomach. Somehow her emotions make me uncomfortable; it’s easier, more familiar, for me to hold on to the rage.

However, I know to do so now would be illogical and hostile, these people would see me as a threat and act accordingly. Besides, there is no real threat on my part. I wouldn’t kill someone for wounding my ego, I’m not that stupid. I learnt long ago to put aside my ego in order to accomplish my goals.

I clear my throat, nodding. “Understood.”

I’m itching to ask about the Kappa, just because she’s a sibling doesn’t technically give her any right to sit amongst ranking wolves, but I hold my tongue. One isn’t allowed to speak unless permitted to, and really it’s just curiosity rather than anything truly important.

The bitch in question can probably feel my gaze and burning curiosity because she turns to me and smiles: “What is it?”

“I just wondered why a kappa was sitting amongst ranked wolves.” I say. There is no malice in my voice, just honest curiosity. It’s unusual.

Where I come from you stuck with your own; you risked starting brawls or even death by mixing with those who were above you. This pack doesn’t seem to be too different, the ranking members sat apart from everyone else. However, I noticed earlier that the Omega’s felt no qualms about looking at their superiors so perhaps there are no consequences for sitting among your superiors.

She looks surprised by my question, as if she forgot her rank. In Shadow Fang ranks are absolute, helping to maintain order and discipline; one didn’t simply forget their rank. I have to constantly remind myself that this isn’t Shadow Fang, things are different here.

“Viktor is my brother and all I have left.” Her smile turns sad, wistful almost. “Besides, I don’t really fit in with the other wolves.”

I nod in understanding. Though in massively different ways we’re pretty much the same and I actually feel something for her, like a small stirring in my heart.

Compassion.

It’s like a small voice in my head whispering to me, like I already know but need to be reminded of what I’ve forgotten.

“How did you know my sister was a Kappa?” Viktor asks suddenly, cocking his head to one side.

I shrug nonchalantly. “She has the aura of one, not to mention her smell.”

“You can read auras?” Viktorya eyes me with a new interest, seemingly shocked at the notion.

Shit, maybe that’s just something that we can do. It’s stupid of me to assume that all wolves can do the things that I’m capable of, I have to remember that I am different. Only now I realise exactly how different I really am amongst these wolves.

Shrugging again, I go back to my food, I’ve already spoken too much for the day. I turn back to my plate to eat in silence. I try to finish quickly in an attempt to get away from their prying eyes, though I must look like some kind of a savage animal.

“May I be excused Alpha?” I look to him for acknowledgement. He nods, seemingly confused by my asking. I don’t bother to stick around, getting up to leave immediately.

Walking out the hall, I use the back of my hand to wipe the grease off my face as I stalk forward. Trying to process all that happened tonight, I’ll have to take this as an example going forward. Things are so different to what I am used to, just trying to wrap my head around it all is dizzying. Even so, I’m not one to let it show if I’m frazzled by my surroundings.

Adapt and overcome. The motto of a soldier.

Heavy footsteps thud close behind me, following me. Turning the next corridor, I press my back against the wall waiting for the pursuer.

I grip the thin cotton collar in my hands, using their momentum to slam them against the wall and press my forearm against their throat with an unrelenting pressure. They would surely be left with bruises, but I can’t say that I feel too repentant at the fact.

My purple eyes peer into his dark brown ones. His eyes holding a dark, stormy intensity as he languidly takes in my features. I stand perfectly still, with my arm on his throat, letting him take in my appearance. Rosy cheeks, small nose, pausing at my lips, before going back to my bright, amethyst eyes.

When I’m certain that the man in front of me isn’t a threat, I let him go.

“Sorry Alpha.” It takes everything within me to bow my head in submission.

He looks down at me from his superior height, it would’ve intimidated anybody but not me. He nods in acknowledgement of my apology which I also take as permission to leave. I continue on my way to the room he had shown me earlier, harbouring the overwhelming urge to think and rest.

“Usually, we clear up after ourselves after dinner.” He berates me, though his voice isn’t at all harsh. Considering he’s Alpha I guess it’s his place to admonish me. If this is his way of showing that he has the power to do that, then he practically undermined himself with the lack of any real Alpha influence.

“I apologise Alpha, my last pack had different rules.” I acknowledge with another nod and it’s true.

There, lower ranking pack members serve the pack, that included clearing up after the pack members after meal times and often serving as training dummies. I usually turned a blind eye to them.

I wait until he grunts before looking up again; playing into his dominance is seriously pissing me off.

I’ve never been below anyone. I had made it my prerogative to train hard and think smarter in order to progress to the top. Aleksandr is the only one who ever out ranked me, but I was satisfied with knowing that I would be the one to end him.

“Dimitri.” He insists, his dark eyes capturing mine again. Once more a strange feeling overtakes my body, a fluttering and a comfort beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s as if hearing his voice clicks something into place for me. Almost like a sense of deja-vu, like it sounds familiar. It isn’t that I’ve heard his name before, it’s much more than that- as if something inside me recognises him.

I don’t let myself think any further about it, letting my mind shake it away.

“You call me Dimitri.”

It’s startling to me that I’ve been so shaken up and it’s only my first night. The people here, the customs, everything just goes against everything that I expected- that I had been taught. If there is anything I hate, it’s feeling out of my element- and at that moment I’m so far out of my element, I’m not even on the periodic table.

My insides buzz, like a circuit coming to life; so many new feelings and experiences from just one night. It’s both exhausting and electrifying. My whole body and mind is still trying to process the last few days so it’s getting more difficult to mask my emotions. The Alpha standing in front of me with that look on his face, is only making things ten times harder.

I’ve never one to run from my problems, aside from the most obvious one, but right now it seems like the most logical course of action.

I clear my throat, “Okay. I think I’ll retreat to bed now, I’ve had a long day.”

“Goodnight, mate.”

He’s called me that twice now, and the others earlier referred to their life partners as their ‘mate’. I don’t want to think much about it because I’m not here to play happy families with him or anyone else for that matter; there are more pressing matters for me to deal with.

“Goodnight Alpha Dimitri.”