Born From Ash (Book I of The Flame Trilogy)

When I wake up, I am no longer on the floor, but the room is still obliterated. Dimitri’s scent lingers in the air; he had moved me to the bed some time during the night, but he hadn’t stayed. I’m still alone.

Sadness fills me, but I push it away as quickly as it comes. Real or not, my dream has reminded me of the reason I escaped Shadow Fang; it was never to find a mate, or even to feel again, it’s to prevent the end of the Werewolf realm. I’ve been too caught up in Dimitri to remember that, but I would not let such a mistake happen again.

I am a storm.

It’s bittersweet, that my feelings for the headstrong Alpha has become a casualty that I myself have created with my lack of focus, but it has also been one of the most beautiful experiences that I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

It’s the third day since I told Dimitri the truth, since Dimitri had gotten that call. He suspected one week before I’d be found but I’m certain, and somewhat afraid that we have even less time than he suspects.

There is no point in running anymore, it’s inevitable that they will find me eventually and who knows what kind of destruction they will spread once they get tired of looking. The only thing I can do now, is to make sure that when they do arrive, I am ready.

I will fight like hell to make sure that the members of this pack stay safe. I have selfishly and recklessly put them all in danger by coming here, not that I really had much of a choice.

I pull on a black turtleneck long- sleeve top along, dark fitted pants along with some warm fluffy socks and my pair of boots. I pull on a jacket on top and some fingerless gloves on my hands as an extra layer. It isn’t bone chilling outside, but the extra layers make me feel comfortable.

I trace the relatively familiar route to the training grounds, the smell of epsilon getting stronger with every step closer that I take down the worn earth path.

The men are once again surprised to see me, though they don’t ogle me as much as the last time. The same can’t be said for Dimitri, Alexei, Mikhail and Viktor who seem completely shocked at seeing me there. I ignore them, walking past them without even casting them a glance.

I move over to the rack of weapons, my fingers dancing over some of the blades until I come across my weapons of choice. Twin scimitars, the steel blades spanning my entire forearm or longer with a simple unguarded hilt. I can feel his brooding frame behind me as I pick up the swords, I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

“What are you doing?” Dimitri’s voice calls out. I can hear the grunts of the other men as they pretend that they aren’t listening in with bated breath.

“Training.” I answer simply, there are no formalities and I think Dimitri can sense my lingering anger towards him. I walk past him, paying him no further attention as I head for the empty space behind him.

“By the way, if this is the only way your men know how to fight.” I pause pointing one blade at the men currently sparring fist to fist, my other blade resting on my shoulder lazily. “Then you’re not going to stand a chance.”

I take a steadying breath, blades poised in my hands, body ready to attack. I guess I should show them what they are up against. I dig deep within myself, calling on the part of myself I hated the most. A dark pressure takes over as I feel it- her- rising within me. I cling to the feeling of self-hatred allowing it to fuel her as she awakens.

I feel it, like fire in my veins and ice on my skin. My vision sharpens, scents becoming more vibrant, my hearing more pronounced and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as if waiting. My nails turn a sickly, black extending into small talons, my eyes burning in my skull until I know they are an iridescent bright, royal purple. I can feel everything around me- below me- in motion. The small hidden brand behind my ear, that I’d forgotten about, begins to burn and I know she is there.

For a minute I feel the push and pull within my mind as she tries to consume me, but I don’t let it, forcing her to obey me. Then I focus; my blades become an extension of me, feather light and ready to shred even the air before me. I let my body move with precision and speed, wielding the blades with a deadly grace; anything in my path would fall with a single stroke of my blade.

There is a moment of deathly stillness and a sharp intake of breath from those around me, as they saw just a fraction of what I- and all other Shadow Fang pack members- are capable of. After I’m satisfied with showing off, I turn pointing a blade at Dimitri.

“You have to train harder, in different ways if you want to keep up.” I warn him. “They won’t hesitate. They won’t bat an eyelid. It won’t matter who you are. Weak, strong, man, woman, pup.”

His eyes stare deeply into my purple ones, before doing something I completely don’t expect. Pushing aside my blade from his chest, he walks forward until our chests touch with each rise and fall. An arm snakes around my waist and the other went to caress the back of my neck, his face coming closer with each breath.

His lips brush mine gently, once then twice, teasing me softly. I push at his chest, successfully pushing him away, shaking my head with a steel gaze. It doesn’t deter him, he simply steps back to me holding me tighter. This time he grounds himself so when I push his large frame stays heavy and unmoving against my protest.

“Don’t. Don’t touch me.” I whisper, trying to move away from him. “You left me.”

“I didn’t leave because of what you are, I don’t even know what you are, mate.” His hand brushes my cheek tenderly. “I was just so fucking pissed at myself for not finding you sooner, and at what that fucker did to you.”

I want so desperately to believe him; there is some kind of sincerity in his voice. Even though I know that I shouldn’t get wrapped up in him again but oh how I so desperately want to. I have a mission to complete- I can’t indulge in him; he is a distraction.

Shadow Fang is coming for me, I probably won’t be with him for much longer so what’s the harm in being with him while it lasts? I know that I’m meant to be angry at him, and part of me is still hurt by his actions, but it hurt far more knowing that I’m going to lose him- to lose everything.

He leans his forehead against mine, thumb stroking my lips gently. “Can I kiss you?”

Even if things fall apart 5 minutes from now, or 5 days from now I can’t risk falling any deeper into this. It will only make things harder.

“I can’t get distracted. I’m not going to make the same mistake again.” I shake my head, taking a step away from him. My heart squeezing painfully in my chest; it has never done that before- is that normal?

My intention was to walk away, to forget him, to move past this and focus on the mission. But Dimitri had other plans, his hand catching my wrist and pulling me back into him seconds before his lips crashed into mine. The kiss is fast and rough, a clash of tongue and teeth. Then suddenly, he slows down, devouring my mouth with purpose and delicacy; as if he has nothing else in the world to do than to caress my mouth.

“I’m sorry, mate.” He whispered gently. I hum in reply waiting for him to say more but he doesn’t, instead he does something much better.

His lips descend on mine once more, softly at first sucking and nibbling at my bottom lip then my top, showing each lip an equal amount of affection. I grow slightly impatient with his slow, romantic display throwing all caution to the wind. I didn’t bother to hold back, moving my mouth against his with a hungry abandon; it’s as if I’m starving and he is my first glimpse of food.

I can hear hooting in the background, though it sounds far away, from those around us which only spurred us both on to heighten the intensity of the kiss.

I barely acknowledge myself dropping the scimitars to the ground. My newly freed hands unconsciously reach up to run through his hair, scratching his scalp gently with my nails and pulling at the shorter tendrils at the base of his neck.

His tongue caresses the seam of my lips, the strange sensation causing me to gasp allowing his tongue to dance with mine gingerly. His head tilts to one side, deepening the kiss with an approving grunt and a breathy moan of my own; he kisses me like he already knows me, and it takes all that is within me to keep myself from letting out an embarrassing desperate moan.

It’s my first real kiss, and Goddess knows that it’s something that I would always remember. I’ve never thought of what my first kiss would be like, I didn’t exactly have the luxury to think about things like love before, but it’s beyond amazing. I have a feeling that Dimitri being my mate plays a big part in it, but the feeling is ingrained in my mind and all I can think about is how addictive it is.

He only pulls away once he’s completely starved of air, breathing heavily as he looks into my eyes with a bottomless unspoken passion. His thumb brushes over my cheek, and under my chin to tip my head up towards him. The soft pad of his thumb runs over my parted lips before he closes his eyes and leans down to steal another quick kiss.

He leans his forehead against mine and we breathe each other in. Then he opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn’t get to.

To my left I hear shuffling, and the snaps of branches on the forest floor. My head snaps towards the tree line, eyes wide as I realise that it’s finally happening.

“They’re here.” I grunt, pulling away from Dimitri’s embrace. The Alpha in question tries to pull me behind him but I stand my ground. “It’s me they want, you need to protect your pack.”

“The pack is ready for this!” Dimitri tries to argue, but I would hear none of it.

“Dimitri stop. You need to warn all the other Alpha’s. Don’t waste your men’s lives on a futile battle, save your troops for the war because it will come and when it does, you’ll need as much help as you can get.” I hiss, and he knows that I am right though it’s obvious by the rippling of his jaw and muscles that it takes everything within him to do it.

They can’t be more than thirty feet away, a slight panic building within me as I realise that there are at least five of them and I won’t be able to take them all. They are complete animals and won’t hesitate to attack one of the pack members even if they aren’t being hostile.

I run over to the weapons rack, grabbing a bow and a quiver of arrows strapping them to my thigh. I can at least buy them some time to get out of here, hopefully if I’m alone, they would leave the pack alone.

“Get out of here!” I yell, pushing at Dimitri’s chest. He grabs my wrist, a new expression of panic tainting his face. “Now!”

“Arashi wait-”

He chokes. He actually chokes. It’s as if he knows that he isn’t going to see me for a while- if ever again. Whether he choked because of emotions or because he doesn’t know what words to actually say, I don’t really know but I look into his eyes and I can see it. He doesn’t have to say a thing.

I love you.

“I know. Me too.”

And I do, in the small way that I’ve learnt to open my heart. Maybe it isn’t love the way other people knew it, but it’s love in the capacity that I’ve come to understand and emulate it.

But I can’t get lost in it.

I look away because I can’t let myself lose focus. I set an arrow into the bow, take a deep breath and release. I don’t think, just move as my body knows exactly what to do.

“Thank you.” I whisper against the bowstring, my back towards him. I know he heard, I don’t know how I know but I did, and that is enough. I don’t know what the future held but for now I have something to hold on to and that is enough.

Just knowing that for an eclipse of time, I had Dimitri... it is more than enough.