Bora's Diary - The beauty and the beast

BORA

It's been a month since Marga left us. Marga has gone and with her the joy of life in this castle.

Lorys gradually got better, even if he could not yet see completely, 80% of his eyesight had regenerated and he was able to devote himself to his everyday life again. At least Lorys and Leonardo tried to block everything out.

After all the chaos, I was the one who was in a bad mood, who didn't want anyone around me and usually avoided every occasion. If it was possible, I even stayed in bed until midday and sank into myself.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and realized it was Lory's hand. I haven't spoken much to Lorys about it since that day.

"Bora? You should get up now..." he prompted me, but I didn't want to. I didn't want anything.

"Even Leonardo can take it better than you..." he whispers softly, as if it's an indictment of my feelings.

Tears well up in my eyes and I sob. Marga is still a touchy subject for me, she sacrificed herself for my sake and tried to kill Gabriel. I still can't believe it...

"She tried to save me... She died when I should have died in her place," I suddenly cry out loud as Lorys takes me in his arms and sighs softly. He strokes my hair and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"She died because she saved our pack from the abyss, she freed her mate, she saved you and something else..." he whispers softly and puts his hands on my stomach.

"Can't you hear it?" he says softly and looks at me desperately. My crying stops and my wolf ears perk up. I had never cared to notice anything because I didn't usually, but now that Lorys says it, I hear it too and another worry rises in me. What if it's Gabriel's child and not Lory's? My world is falling apart at the seams and I feel like I'm about to be sick. I burst into tears while Lorys takes me in his arms, irritated.

"Why are you crying?" he asks, confused, and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"Aren't you happy?" he swallows and I shake my head.

"What if it's not our child?" I whisper quietly and burst into tears again as Lorys hugs me tightly.

"Bora... I heard the heartbeat before all this happened, but I wasn't sure because it was so faint... An alpha smells his children faster, your scent has changed slightly... You have nothing to worry about. I know it must have been bad... I'd like to undo it too..." his voice breaks off softly as I press myself tightly against him and honestly, that alone helps me.

I couldn't imagine carrying a child that was Gabriel's. This nightmare would probably haunt me forever, at least it still does. There wasn't a night when I didn't wake up in a cold sweat, looking at Marga's bloodied body and remembering what had happened.

Lorys stroked my cheek gently: "I think you should take Linda up on her offer and let the witch help you deal with this trauma.... It won't be good for you in the long run, you need to get back among the humans and also fulfill your duties as Luna... The pack misses you and so do I..." he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead and reaches for my hand.

I look up at him and nod slightly. I know Lorys is right. He's always right, there's no question about it, but all of this is still gnawing at me.

I can hardly organize my thoughts and the knowledge that we are now having a baby is simply overwhelming. I can't really be happy or sad. It's an indescribable feeling.

LORYS

It's up and down, and the only thing I'm worried about at the moment is Bora. Not even Leonardo makes me feel bad.

Leonardo took a two-week break after Marga's funeral. He felt better afterwards, after his companion bond had completely dissolved. He threw himself into work, trained harder than ever before and worked through his grief.

Bora, on the other hand, did nothing of the sort, but bathed her grief out in bed.

"How about a bath and something to eat? I have something special for you too ... A little present," a slight smile plays around my lips as Bora finally nods willingly and slowly gets up.

I accompany her to the bathroom and let my wolf eyes flash so that I can see Bora better and help her. My wolf has done a great job this month and has almost given me my own eyesight. A little is still missing, but that takes time.

I fill her bath and watch her undress as I hold out my hand and help her into the bath. I sit on the edge myself, place my hands on the back of her neck and massage it gently. I elicit a soft moan from her as she throws her head back on her neck and leans back.

"You're not coming in?" she asks me uncertainly and I don't know whether it's a question or a request.

"Should I?" I ask her and continue to gently massage her neck.

"Yes," she says firmly and looks up at me.

I can't help but undress too and sit down next to her. The tub is just big enough for us both to fit in, so she lies in my arms while I stroke her hair and press a gentle kiss to the crook of her neck.

I wrap my hands around her stomach and stroke it gently. I'm aware that Bora hasn't really realized this yet and that it will probably take a while.

"I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with one baby... Three or four children, what do you think?" I ask her with a grin and press another kiss to the crook of her neck as she quickly turns her head towards me and looks at me with wide eyes.

"Three or four?" she croaks softly and looks at me askance.

"Sure, after all we have to fill the castle," I play with her hair between my fingers as she stares silently ahead of her.

"That sounds good," she suddenly replies and looks at me, beaming. Her radiant smile, which I haven't seen for many weeks, and the fact that she is looking forward to having a baby, warms my heart too.

I press a tender kiss to her lips, which she returns.

"What present have you got for me?" she suddenly asks, looking at me in amazement.

My smile widens and I shake my head.

"I won't tell you now," I start to wash her hair. "If we hurry, we can have a little picnic in your beloved rose garden and then you can see your present," I whisper in her ear as her curious gaze never leaves her face.

"Okay, you've got me, I'm too curious..." she replies as we quickly wash up, get dressed again and head out into the garden together.

I have asked a maid to prepare a picnic basket for us and we sit down together on the bench where I first saw Bora.

"I love this garden," she says to me as I pull out the food and hand her a sandwich.

"I know the first time I saw you here, I thought I'd seen a ghost as quickly as you disappeared. Your wonderful scent almost lost me to Leonardo," I laugh softly, remembering that wonderful moment.

"You were sitting there looking at me while you were holding a notebook of James' and trying to write? I think it's about time we had a proper diary again, don't you think?" I asked her.

Her cheeks turned pink as she looked at the training ground and nodded slightly.

"I haven't written for ages ... That would be great, of course," she confirms her wish as I pull a journal with a beautiful feather out of the basket.

"I promise you I'll never read your diaries again, Bora... as much as I loved doing it," I reply and hand her the diary.

She looks at the diary in my hands and bites her lower lip.

"It's a nice present," she says, but it's not, no.

I shake my head carefully and pull a small box out of my pocket. It contains my late mother's wedding ring. I had it polished up and wanted to ask Bora the question of all questions, even though it was clear that we were companions and would now have a little family. I wanted to propose to her, wanted her to put on a white wedding dress like any other woman and say yes to me.

Her eyes light up when she sees the box with the ring and the words get stuck in her throat. I'm no different, I'm already weak-kneed and can only hope that she doesn't ditch me now.

"It's not really a gift, but it means a lot to me. You're the woman of my dreams, the woman I love, you're going to be the mother of my children. You are my world and I want to ask you to marry me, Bora? I want to be happy with you until the end of my days and nothing else...', the words are spoken and my heart beats faster and stronger than ever before.

She gives me the biggest smile she has ever given me, literally jumps into my arms and hugs me tightly.

"Yes," she replies as I gently place my lips on hers and kiss her passionately.

She draws the kiss out and bites my lip gently and playfully as I lift her up and pull her onto my lap.

I pull away from her, take the ring out of the box and put it on her ring finger while she looks at me in love and examines the ring.

"It's beautiful," she whispers and touches the diamond in the middle.

I nod slightly "It belonged to my mother," I say quietly as she recognizes the value of this ring and smiles even wider.

"It means a lot to me, Lorys... Thank you," she says, pressing another kiss to my cheek and I hug her tightly.

"My queen," I breathe into her ear and continue to feed her. I could only pray that nothing would go wrong.