Blood Lust

The weeks that Dee and Martin were gone, nothing special happened. I spent day after day, stuck in repeat. I almost enjoyed it. I woke up from the alarm clock set by R. I read quietly while everyone was on shift and sometimes dared to venture to the breakroom, never straying too far. By the time they came back, R had brought a new book and dinner. I was basically living in a new cage, or that's what it felt like.

Lee flopped on his lower bunk. "Looks like it worked." He shrugged, "The ship is logged to sail with the Elder in tow." He said it so casually.

"So now I just go back to doing what?" I said harshly. I knew the answer, I just didn't want to hear it.

"You'll go back on the floor." Lee let the words escape his lips too fast. He caught the look on my face and was confused. Maybe, he didn't know the hell I endured or maybe I really didn't mean a thing to him.

I had to hold back the hurt. I knew this was going to happen. I had told myself not to get attached, that the friendship was nothing more but an act to survive.

"Yea, but not like before." Lee backed himself up. He knew he had said the wrong thing. But, the damage was already done.

That night R had walked me back to my pod. Curiosity had gotten the better of me. "You haven't said anything this entire time." I decided to probe, maybe I could get him to help me escape like he had tried to do with the keycard. "Are you not going to talk to me at all?"

R shook his head. I realized it was going nowhere as we stopped at the doorway of my pod. He left me standing there by myself and watch him walk away. For the first time, I had been left unescorted in the halls.

In the morning, I hadn't been woken up by R's alarm. It was the alarm set by the Matron. I sat up and looked confused. It was going to take some time to readjust to all of it.

My jeans and black shirt had been taken from the end of my bed. They had been replaced with the grey shirt and sweats. That's when it hit me. I was right back where I started. The acid in my stomach churned.

"Oh, Christi!" The Matron entered the dorm, startled by my appearance. She gave me a confused look, "Well, alright then. Go with the others and get your work done." She left me at that.

Right away in the morning, we had been sent to give blood. Some things I had not missed. Like the prick of the needle as it punctured my skin, causing me to gasp.

"Oh stop, you're fine." The rude nurse scoffed. I felt like she had taken way too much. I stood up and instantly felt dizzy. I grabbed the arm rest of the chair for support. The nurse had groaned as she grabbed my arm to keep me from falling over. "You have five minutes to gather yourself. No more."

After my measly five minutes, we were gathered out in the hall. I leaned against the wall as we waited. "Oh, it's you." I blurted out when I noticed it was R. He stood in front of me, looking down at me. We stood there, staring at each other before I noticed others were also staring at us. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

R looked back to see what I was getting at. He furiously walked away, leaving me to catch up. "Wait, don't I have bathrooms or something to clean?" I looked around and caught on to the fact we had been walking side by side. Any closer to him and we'd be holding hands.

Instead of walking through the main entrance of the library, R brought me through a different door that led to a set of narrow stairs. He pointed up, as if he wanted me to go up them.

"Just please. Talk." I sighed. I walked up the stairs and came up to the balcony that overlooked the entire library. When looking up from the library floor, it always looked like such a small space. However, there was plenty. The balcony had a small table and chairs and a small reading nook. It looked like they used it to sleep in between shift.

"Sit here." R spoke.

He spoke. I was so caught up in the overlook, I almost missed it. I stared at him with wide eyes, even Dee had looked back at us. "You spoke!" I exclaimed. R put his finger up to his mouth, telling me to be quiet.

"Well, now that you're here. I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Dee excused himself, sensing there was going to be an argument. Since Dee had been gone for a while, leaving us to sit in silence.

"Uh, so. Why'd you bring me here?" I saw the look on R's face as he looked down on the library. He was trying not to look at me. He was holding something back. I could feel it.

R looked back at me. "I want you where I can see you." His voice hummed in my hear and my head as he pointed to the bandage on my arm.

"They just took my blood, it didn't hurt." I lied. I didn't understand why it mattered that the nurse took my blood.

"You don't feel it yet." He whispered. His handed squeezed the wood of the railing. The wood splintered under the strength of his hands.

I ignored his tantrum and made myself cozy in the balcony. Flipping through pages of my book, I hadn't noticed myself falling asleep. It had been ages since I had napped during the day.

Wake up. It's time to go back.

The hum of R's voice lulled my headspace. It was warm and comforting. I didn't want it to stop. I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to stay in the moment of time.

Eventually, I had to open my eyes. R's face was the first thing I saw and for a second I felt something. "Can all vampires do that?" I asked as I pushed myself up.

I opened my eyes, "Can all vampires do that?" I asked. I collected myself and stood up.

Only those who have been marked can speak freely.

I hated that he called it that. I wasn't marked by anything, for anything. I was still myself. I belonged to no one.

"How did you even know that I was..." I hesitated saying the word, "...Marked?"