Blinding Light (BLS Book 1)

Mila

…

…

…

WHERE AM I?

I feel so light-headed. Then it all comes rushing back to me. I just committed treason.

No. Not treason. Murder.

I don’t think treason exists in the future.

What have I done?! My thoughts ring out so loud that I have to cover my ears.

Wait…I can’t move.

It’s then I realize that I see black. It’s everywhere. Images pop into my mind at random. But I can only see them through my head. It’s not through my eyes. My eyes are almost glued shut; it hurts to try to open them.

The more the pain builds, the angrier I get.

It takes more tries and fails before I give up. That’s not the right word; I do not give up! I’m merely taking a break.

“Mila…”

The voice. He’s here, in my head once more.

Get out of my head!

I try to push him out. But he doesn’t budge—weighing like hundreds and thousands of tons.

“Mila stop!”

Surprising me with his voice, I stop resisting.

What did you do?

I try to resist again, but it’s not possible anymore. I feel weak. I feel as if every bone has been taken out of my body and I’m just laying there without a single care in the world. Without anyone to come looking for me—feeling lost to the world.

What…did you do? I ask again. Softer this time as the emotions catch up to me.

Am I a monster? Do I really not have enough of a soul to care?

“Please, Mila. Listen to me,”his voice is so clear. It has never been this clear.

“Because I am close. You are closer to me than you think…”

Why can’t you tell me who you are? I already know that you aren’t some maniac voice in my head.Are you a person with unnatural abilities?

I almost couldn’t believe my ears. I think I just heard him laugh for the first time. It’s a deep, hearty chuckle—but full of pain. But the voice is low, yet powerful, and attractive. I find myself glued to his voice for some reason.

“You are smart, just like she said,” he laughs.

If it weren’t for the circumstances, I would’ve laughed with you.

“Yes, I suppose you would’ve,”he says. I can almost see the smile on his face. But the truth hits me again. I can’t see, I can’t move, I’m having a conversation in my mind.

How is that even possible?

“I’m sure Raven has explained,”he says and his voice hitches at the word of her name. I can’t understand why.

How do you know her?

“I know a lot more than you think. However, I am unable to tell. Or else, our connection would immediately cut off.”

What…does that mean?

“I…can’t say.”

Of course, you can’t say. In this godforsaken world, is anything going to reveal anything? I don’t know anymore.

“Mila.”

What?

“Promise me that you won’t forget me.”

What do you mean?

“Just promise me.”

I…promise.

“Good. So wake up…now.”

***

I’m sucked into space. Not space, my own cabin. I’m back.

Back to reality…?

I see Raven next to me. Her face is frozen as ever. But her features start to relax as she comes back to reality. Her eyes blink once slowly. Then twice.

“Mila?”

“Raven? Is it really you?” I ask desperately.

“Oui? Are we still going for that knife throwing?”

“What?”

“Did you not hear what I said. What has your head been?”

Oui, where have I been? Have I been dreaming?

But the memories remain as clear as ever. Raven’s letter, my travels through my mind, through reality. The black room. Seeing Nolan. Seeing how his words pierced through my composure. How his eyes rolled to the back of his head as I stabbed him. I murdered someone. I grasp my hair as the truth settles in.

“Mila? Can you hear me?”

“Oui. I was distracted, sorry.”

It wasn’t a complete lie—but all I’ve been doing these past few weeks is a lie, directly and indirectly to her face.

“Uh-huh. So, you still up for that knife throwing?”

“Oui, oui, of course,” I answer warily. I’ve become so good at hiding things recently—my face doesn’t betray me.

I wonder who I got that from.

She smiles,“Then come on, snail!”

She pulls me up and takes off toward the door. I follow suit, not too far, but not too close.

I open the door to a view of the campground—the forest in the distance. The sun is still up, but casting its orange glows across the horizon. Its beauty only brings ugliness to me. I brush the thought away and run after Raven.

I’m not awake…am I? I think as I keep my pace to a speed walk. I let out a shuddering breath as I await his answer.

…

“No…”

My heart sinks. If this isn’t real…

How do I get out of here?

“…I…don’t know. That is beyond my capability.”

What am I doing?

“Sleeping.”

Sleeping?

“Yes.”

…

If I’ve been here, sleeping the whole time. All I have to do is wake up. Right?

“It’s not that simple. They have you under a medicine. A drug…”

Drug?

“I not know of what it is, nor where it’s stored. Only that it’s something that prevents you from waking. That is alas, all I can say…”

Merci.

“Ne me remercie pas.1 Not ever.”

With that, the voice leaves me.

***

When I finally catch up with Raven. I’m so light-headed that I feel like I’m going to pass out. Every time Raven asks me something, I reply automatically. It’s as if my brain is reacting on reflex. I never take into anything Raven says.

When she hands me a knife, I drop it onto the grass.

“Are you alright?”

“Oui. Of course. Lost my handing for a second.”

“Oh, alright.”

I pick up the knife but I can’t stop my hand from trembling. The knife seemed to turn red again—red and slick with blood. Blood that rolled up the blade like a piece of clothing. Rolls up and covers my hand with paint.

Paint of blood, coating my fingertips to my wrist. It takes all of my self-control not to drop down and start crying right there.

I can’t do this. Help me. I plead to the voice.

No response.

I close my eyes.

D’accord, deep breath in…then out.

When I open them again, everything seemed to flash a little—just a little off. Like someone just blew the candle out in pure darkness, then lit it back a second later—it’s like I’m stuck in a loop of nightmares with no way out.

“Mila, are you frozen in time, or are you admitting that you’ve lost to me?”

“Never,” I smile—but that smile felt so fake, so unreal. But if I can do this and figure out a way out, I won’t stop. I won’t stop until I’ve made it, even if it tries everything to push me back down as I climb. I will never back down.

Never.

I chuck the knife so hard that it disappears down the wood, only the handle remains in sight.

“Wow…” Raven breathes.

“Wow, is right. Bow to your new queen.” I say, a proud smile on my face.

“Seriously, did you go to training or something?” Raven walks me over to the piece of wood as the target.

“Nope. It’s just talent.”

“Totally,”she sneers. She pulls her knife out. It leaves a deep gash in the trunk, the brown peeling away to reveal the tan. Revealing the vulnerable side. She tries to pull my knife out. But it’s stuck.

“Let me try.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

I shake my head as she mock-bow to me. I yank on the knife handle and it pops away from the tree trunk. However, the knife suddenly flies out of my hand and lands in Raven’s gut. I gasp, my eyes widen in shock.

“No…” I whimper as I watch her figure slumps down and I rush forward, missing her by the hair. She slumps onto the grass, her blood pooling around my feet, around my hands—stained red.

What? No. No. Please no…

The knife was buried deep in her stomach, down to the hilt. Just like how it was in the tree. My body shakes with terror, and tears stream down my face. My vision is blurring from all the tears, and I clutch her body. Her lifeless body.

“Raven…?” My voice sounds hoarse as if this is the first time I’m speaking in years.

“Raven, please…answer me,” I begged—pleaded.

No…

Please…don’t leave.

I glance at my broken hands. My fingers are stained with red. The blood is sticking to me…it’s everywhere. And I can’t get it off. I frantically scrub my hand—rubbing my fingers together.

It’s not me. I didn’t do it. I didn’t mean to.

Just then, a figure appears before me. His blonde hair is messy on his head—amber eyes are staring at me with such mocking. Its loss of light truly terrifies me.

“Y-you. You’re gone. You’re not here.”

“Me? I’m still here.” His voice stings my heart—burning a hole through my soul.

“Go away. You’re not here.”

“Yeah, you killed me. Just as you killed her.”

“Non…I didn’t. I didn’t…” But the more I said it, the less believable it was.

…

…

I whimper and clutch my face. She’s gone.

She’s gone.

“Go away,” I whisper. My voice grew weak. He comes closer to me and bends down, one hand patting my head.

“Just as you said…never.”

Never?

That’s right. Never.

“I didn’t do anything,” I say sternly. I looked at Raven’s figure.

“Oui, you did,”he whispers in my ear. Even as I shiver from fear, I won’t back down. Never.

“Non, I didn’t.” I squeeze my eyes shut, drowning out all voices. I open the gateway to one. It’s been such a long time since I’ve heard this voice. This voice that brings me joy; brings me happiness, confidence, and, most importantly…love.

The voice of my own.

Want more chapters quicker? This book is available on amazon! Just click on the SUPPORT ME button on my profile!

Like ❃ Comment ❃ Share

Thanks, with lots of smiles

☆•Yiona•☆