Blinding Light (BLS Book 1)

Mila

…

…

…

WHERE AM I?

…

My eyes adjust to the darkness—pitch-black darkness. It’s there…slowly creeping up behind me. Eating me up…alive. I scream as something squeezes my throat, suffocating me. I grab at it; I claw at it.

NOTHING…

Nothing’s there.

I claw at the air until my throat burns with the need for air. I gasp, my arms falling. Just as they go slack, the invisible force lets go. I gasp, wheezing as the air reenters my lungs.

“Ha…huff…huff…” The cold air rushes in and out of my lungs.

In…

Out…

I count at least twenty breaths before I finally slow down my breathing. Light shows up at the end of the darkness. I force my legs to straighten out, to stand. My feet burn with each step. Somehow, I know that I needed to go to the light. Something inside me urges me on.

“Closer…”

Oui. Closer, that’s it, keep going, Mila. Just get out of here.

My heavy body dragging, each step hurts as if I’m stepping on needles.

Once…

Twice…

Three times…

I scream as something touches my burning feet—a spider: a huge, enormous spider the size of my shoe. I break into a dash but more come. The endless hallway of doors engulfing me within. I fall into the mess. The floor constantly stabbing me each time skin makes contact.

The spiders are everywhere! They’re climbing all over me, my body. The needles stab through my body as well, immersing me in unbearable pain. I glance around the light at the end, growing softer, farther.

No! I drag myself up, away from the mess. I knew that I had to get to the light.

I break into a run. My feet feel like they bleed with each step. I grit my teeth, hold my breath, and run towards the light. I can’t breathe; my lungs are choking me. Each door I pass, the pain intensifies. Pulling me back with inhuman strength, I’m thrown across the darkness with an invisible force. I land with the air knocked out of my lungs. Gasping, I push myself up again.

No, I must make it.

My thoughts drift to Raven.

For her, for my family.

Using every bit of my strength, I stand and fight through the pain. The pain on my foot that now spread to my legs, threatening to pull me under. I fall again, drowning in nothing. An invisible force retakes hold of my throat, choking me. I pull at it, this time pulling out stringy, sticky stuff.

Spiderwebs, instinct told me. I continue to pull until the air fills my broken lungs again. I push forward on my forearms, crawling. But it pulls me back. Each step I take forward, they take me two steps back. More webs attach themselves to my body. I’m stuck, stuck in nothingness.

A door appears on my left, on my right, in front of me. The light just shines beyond it. I reach with all my might and take ahold of the handle. I twist it, the wood splinters and it opens with a loud crack. I snap back to reality.

My hands are on Raven’s wrist. Something pops, her arm is completely limp on the side. I let go immediately and scramble away from her sobbing figure, keeping her away from myself. Her wrist is bleeding, my nails dug into it, making crescent moons in the shade of blood. And her arm is bent at such an unnatural angle that I want to flash the hash (vomit).

What have I done?

“Mila?” She asks through tears. “Please tell me you’re there.”

She reaches towards me with her good hand. I flinch away. She takes her hand back, which returns to cradling her broken hand, her arm.

Did I do that?

I’ve hurt the only family I have left in this world.

I am insane.

I’ve gone completely crazy.

“No—I didn’t mean to,” I whisper to myself. I wrap my arms around my knees. I rock myself back and forth, my own body shaking so much I fear if I let go, it will all fall apart. My tears free-falling down my face.

“Mila, I’m alright. It’s okay. Come to me.”

She reaches out again. Even she doesn’t make sense anymore. I stand up, slowly backing away, I can still feel the needles tingling on my skin and run.

I run into the maze of trees, into anything that will let me escape, even if it’s for a little while. My heart is beating so hard in my chest. I feel like it’s going to rip my chest open.

What have I done? How did I even do it? What is happening to me?

So many questions, yet none of them are answered. I run, deep into the woods until I come across a lake. I lean against the tree next to it as the water ripples, revealing my reflection, but with one difference. My right eye is green, and the other is bright red.

I must be a psychopath. I’ve had weird dreams. I’ve been hallucinating…I’ve been forgetting.

I don’t remember.

The thought rings out in my mind until it sinks in, deeply rooted at the bottom of my soul.

I did this; it’s all my fault. Mother’s dead because I couldn’t get enough money to pay her bills. Raven’s hurt because of me. Our House was dying because I was the minor that needed support. I can’t remember because I just forget—and it’s all my fault.

“I don’t remember!” I scream across the lake. It echoes but nothing happens.

I just broke Raven’s arm without even blinking.

What is happening to me?

I don’t understand.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND

I cling onto the tree for dear life. The water ripples at rushes at me with the wind, wetting my shoes, wetting my feet.

My tears are falling so fast I know my eyes will be swollen.

I remember the nasty crack of her wrist. I had no control. I could’ve stopped it, but I couldn’t.

Useless…

I was hallucinating in my mind at that moment. All I feel is despair. There are no more lights to guide me on. My breath comes in gasps as I look down at my own two murderous hands.

Would it be better if it all ended? Just in this moment? My desperate cry of help going unanswered into eternity.

I look upon the rippling lake. I push myself up, shuddering as I lean against the tree. I take in a deep breath before I step into the water. It’s cold, chilling, but I let it come, let it consume me.

Let it wash away all the pain I’ve caused.

It doesn’t take long before I reach waist-high water. It is so cold that it burns holes through my bones, chills me with a sensation that I longed for, making me sick.

I go farther, deeper until it’s neck high. I fall backward. My head hits the surface with a splash, and I let myself go under. I let myself blow out the remaining of my air. My lungs burn for air, but I sink until I hit the lakebed. My fingers intertwined with the sand.

Is this how it’s going to end?

The sun glows, brighter on the surface. I feel my exhale as bubbles rise to the surface, before I blackout.

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Thanks, with lots of smiles

☆•Yiona•☆