Blinded

It was Lucas’s idea to keep the gender of our children hidden. I didn’t pry. I tried not to read them. It wasn’t hard. Mortal world readings and immortal world readings were vastly different. In fact I didn’t receive a god’s future per say but their events; causes that they created with their decisions. Fate wasn’t bound to god or goddess as it was with a immortal creation or mortal being. I didn’t quite understand why. I spoke only to Lucas about this and he believed it had to do with the power a god held. He had longer to live. Longer to affect or change things. For the most part the god’s balanced each other out. Mostly. On the other hand I could see there was currently a struggle with one particular immortal starting a string of events. Not a god, but trying to reach that level. I had warned Lucas about that too. It sent him away a lot with his father.

While they were gone I continued to use my gift to complete the immortal scrolls. The scrolls hadn’t been touched in an millennium. They were a collection of events already past and future predictions. I began to write my sights. I concentrated on things that would most likely come to be before adding events that were far more unlikely. Still one slight change could make them reality. I engrossed myself and began to forget to care for myself. I was immortal-like and the urge to eat didn’t come as much and I didn’t tire as easily. My life was bound to Lucas’s and it had come with some changes. I still had to eat. I still had to sleep. Lucas began to have fits. He’d possessively hover whenever he could. It ensured I ate something each day. He began sleeping himself, though he didn’t need it, just to make sure I would get rest. I couldn’t run to his father, who insisted I call him father too. The man being all about healing would tell me to eat something because it’s effects helped the fetus grow strong, gave me more energy, or even aided in sleeping.

One thing I didn’t have to worry about were appointments. You didn’t have much to be concerned about health wise when you were immortal. Once conceived a fetus of a god was practically invincible. In fact you couldn’t kill a god’s baby unless you killed the vessel. With Lucas, his father, and his brothers surrounding me almost constantly I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Father did monitor the heartbeats. He was curious. I had asked about what and he would just smile. I’d shake my head and walk away because I knew he wouldn’t tell me until he was ready.

There was a down side. Childbearing for a god was a long process. I waited months passed the typical human span. Many months. Those months were not easy. Mood swings were my enemy. I cried more than I liked, which made me cry more. Lucas would do something petty and I would know it was nothing and still I would scream about it. I always tried to apologize when I had calmed down. Each time he would apologize too. I was almost positive his father had put him up to that task, as the man always entered my room with a polite apology for interrupting, as if that small act in itself would cause me to snap off his head.

In going with tradition, and not wishing to know of the baby’s gender, we used no electronic devices to view the baby. Instead I would lay back with my hands on my belly feeling for kicks. That’s when I knew. I looked to Lucas, who was resting beside me in the grass, and made a face. He was immediately up and frantic. I explained what I had felt. Two kicks at opposite ends of the belly simultaneously. There was more than one baby. We brought the news to father who grinned evilly and I narrowed my eyes at him. That’s what he had been hiding, what he was interested in. He didn’t say because he couldn’t be sure as the hearts had yet to fully develop. The heart of a god developed last. It determined where their power would lie and what side of the spectrum they would play their role. It was unusual for a child not to be on their parent’s ‘side’. There were odd occasions when out of the norm exceptions did occur. Lucas didn’t seemed worried, I couldn’t read father too well. I tried not to linger long on such thoughts.

Cravings got bad. I would see someone with something and suddenly I had to have it. My sight was a blessing. I was told that by father. He told me it gave them a bit of an edge. As much as it helped them, I thought it was a curse at times. How could one crave a fish they had never had before? At times I would describe something to Lucas and he wouldn’t know what it was I wanted. He didn’t have the need to eat unless it was on a whim.

At last the day arrived. Lucas had told me he would be there with me every step of the way. I knew that it was too good to be true. Lucas had left with his father and older brother. I had Alla with me. She was a blessing. I had ignored the pain for too long. Too many false starts before made me clump the real thing together with them. I should have known better. I couldn’t see my own future. I had no experience. Everything became a blur. The pain, the screaming, the flashes of light behind my eyes, as I ignored the sight and the blood, all faded when I was told it was over. Two bundles. Tightly wrapped in the gift Alla, a goddess of life and blessing, had given me. She seemed to know I would need two of the small woven blankets of bamboo blessed with protection. I thanked her for her help even though moments earlier I had been cursing her.

Alla had sent word through Fringe that Lucas’s presence was required at the homestead. I was drifting off when he arrived out of breath and panicking. I smiled tiredly and looked to the bassinet next to the bed. It had been a long day. I said little more than they were perfect before falling asleep. I woke to a proud smile the next morning. Lucas was rocking the bassinet with his foot as he lean in for a kiss.

“You’re wonderful.” He would tell me that over and over as the years passed.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You needed sleep. I can handle evening shifts. We’re partners now Kale. I will take on half your burdens and you shall help carry half of mine. Don’t think you have to do everything on your own.”

I would learn to share my every worry. Each time I had a sight and something concerned me I would turn to Lucas. He was my mate, my love, my friend, my companion, my confidant. As much as I share with him he would share with me. It worked well. It was no wonder I would tell him first that I believed our daughter was different. I explained I couldn’t see her future. Her brother was different. I could see him with his father in the future a couple times. Troubling times were ahead. My son would be an asset. Not being able to see my daughter made me fearful we were to lose her.

It wasn’t the only oddity I detected. She was first to wake, last to sleep. She never napped and was fascinated with watching every detail around her. Youngest of the two she was loudest. First to voice a need but never sought attention otherwise. Content on her own, she would play for hours in a playpen, or in the corner, even under the large willows. I questioned the behavior. Lucas didn’t know children so we reached out to his father. He told us immortals were like humans, each had their own personality as children. These children were uncertain to begin with. No oracle had given birth to a god’s child. How much immortality was in them? How human were they? He assured us we didn’t have anything to be worried about. It eased my mind for a time. Until their personalities became more dominant I was fine with father’s explanation. Then my suspicions were confirmed and I knew I was correct from the very beginning. As time progressed others too would see how powerful and different she was from the others.