Blinded

The image before me reflected the similar beauty I had before. Red wavy locks paired with green eyes. My typical tan was a little on the paler side and I had lost a bit more weight, something Lucas had been trying to ‘fix’ the last few days by shoving food in my face every second he could. I had a new addition to my reflection. Crawling along my neck to the junction of my shoulder a burn, spanning a few inches wide, would never heal completely. It was still a little rough and the red irritation was very dominate, with a few more days that much would clear up. Ike had tried his best, he did as promised and spared my face from the mars. The exception was a thin white line over my eye. It became a pattern now for Lucas to kiss the mark in greetings and goodbyes. Though Lucas wasn’t bothered, nor I for that matter, Ike seemed saddened he couldn’t do more. I accepted his apology and repeated my appreciation for what he had done. I couldn’t dwell on what was lost; I would move forward with what had been gained. As far as I could tell, from what I saw and what Ike had told me, my bond with Lucas was much stronger than anticipated. My immune system had increased in efficiency and I healed on my own, quicker than Ike could work. With my human genes that meant I would heal in a way my body was familiar with, scaring was to be expected in many cases. Ike could no long manipulate my system the same he could a regular human. I was not invincible for I was not a goddess.

Lucas didn’t seem phased by any of it. He calmly declared I would remain by his side and ensure my safety for eternity. He also gave the impression he was going to depend on my visions to keep me safe from any deadly wounds or threats. I didn’t dare tell him I wouldn’t be seeing my future from this point onward. I knew, deep down, the creator had given me a one-time glimpse to help in my decision and that would be my only exception. Who wanted to know when their death was anyway? I was sure I would be around for a while. I was too useful at the moment.

“Come out now or I am coming in to get you!” I heard Lucas from the other side of the door. I sighed, he didn’t want me to look in the mirror. He had sheltered me from any reflective surface over the last few days. “I am counting to three.”

I hastily threw my sweater on over my head and looked back in the mirror to adjust my hair. It was odd to see my own eyes turn white. A vision approached. I could hear the counting in the background as the voices in my head overwhelmed me. Lucas flung open the door as I sorted through the images curiously. He didn’t pause as he tossed me over his shoulder and mumbled something about outer beauty being overrated. I chuckled. He was still concerned I wouldn’t feel loved with my imperfections. He wouldn’t let me doubt his love. I could feel his emotion through our connection. The piece of soul he left in me radiated his being more strongly now that I knew it was there. One day I would find a way for him to carry a piece of my soul so he could feel how I felt for him. He tossed me on the bed, probably didn’t even notice as I focused away from him. I let him kiss each inch of my face, closing my eyes and enjoying the warmed. His hands pinned my arms above my head as I snapped my eyes open.

“Who controls time?”

“Hm?” He was giving me that look.

“What?” I questioned the look.

“How important?”

“Probably more than either of us can imagine.”

“It can’t wait?”

“There’s this thing, a meeting, it has to happen and it hasn’t. We need to fix it.”

I was pushing at Lucas to let me sit up. His body reluctantly moved in the direction I pushed. Lucas sighed and I saw the slight childish frown. It wasn’t the first time a vision had taken precedence and I imagined it wouldn’t be the last. I needed to create time for just him soon. To show him how much I was thankful. He helped me to my feet and lead the way without a word until we were in the hall.

“We will need to talk to father, only he seems to be able to set up a meeting with who you seek in a timely matter.”

Over the next few weeks I learned many things. Between the sight and Lucas’s teachings I was picking up on things faster than I imagined possible. With that knowledge I knew I was postponing an important aspect that would allow me and my family to move on. I knew what was supposed to happen. My decision would affect their future. The doctor and Lucas, for my sake, avoided the topic. The feeling of guilt drove me to the library-like-study where Lucas was set up behind a desk. I hardly ever interrupted him. I didn’t like to bother him after I had sent him with the task to look into something for me. He looked up and stared over a pile of books.

“Lucas we have to talk,” I began softly.

“What did you see? Are they after you?”

I shook my head, “I’m fine. I didn’t see anything of importance today. I mean I saw a bridge collapse. Human error. Please sit back down.” Lucas didn’t listen and came around to pull me into a hug. I accepted and took the position to my advantage. Hugging him so he wouldn’t pull away. “You’re sheltering me, protecting me from what’s to come. I appreciate it, very much, only it isn’t fair. I see how much it is hurting everyone. It’s time Lucas. I need to die in the human realm. I’ve seen the visions. My family will be better off this way.”

“Kale I’ve told you, you don’t have to do this. Many oracles have lived with their families in the past. Give me more time. I will talk father out of this.”

“It won’t work. I am different. I have a god as my other half. I won’t age with my family. Explaining visions is one thing but to explain why I look the same ten years from now is a whole different thing. I am choosing you Lucas. I want to be with you. It’s going to be hard. I will probably need you and deny it later. I have to do this. With or without your support I will make the necessary arrangements and have your father put me into the coma that mimics the signs of death.”

“I know how much your family means to you.”

“You and your father are my family and I have a more important role to play here. If mother knew she’d understand. I’ve said my goodbyes, between the lines, and the will has been written.”

Lucas was silent. His grip grew tighter. I loved him more for caring so much about a matter that didn’t have to concern him. “If you think this is the best solution then I shouldn’t make this any harder for you. I’m going to be here for you through thick and thin.”

“I’d rather sooner than later.”

“I will speak to father about administering the drug tomorrow. It will take a couple hours to take full effect. During that time we will follow through with your wishes. I suppose you have it all planned out.” I didn’t trust my voice and merely nodded. Lucas held me tighter and kissed the top of my head. “You can cry.” I shook my head. “You don’t have to put up a brave front all the time.” He didn’t have to tell me that. I knew as much.

It took more than a couple hours. With breakfast I downed the tonic. By lunch I was still moving about as normal. By dinner I was laying on the bed sweating and barely able to breath. By morning I would be out of it.

“Whatever you do don’t fight the sleep this time,” Ike warned. “It’s going to last a couple days. I will administer the drug as needed throughout it all.”

“Please make sure I am not buried alive,” I whispered, barely able to do that simple task.

“Don’t worry,” Lucas said, “I wouldn’t let that happen.”

This state of sleep allowed me some consciousness of the world around me. I couldn’t move or open my eyes. I could hear and feel motion. First I was carried to the hospital; I knew I had to be going there as that was where I was being held in ‘quarantine’. I was pronounced dead and the autopsy was skipped with paperwork appearing to show it had happened. I was transferred to a funeral home, an immortal ‘prepped’ me. I had my make-up redone as the woman explained it was too plain to be considered her work. She spoke to me as she worked about how I was being handled swiftly so I wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. They had told everyone I had requested a natural burial as explanation for the speedy process. I slept mostly while I was there. I felt a pain in my arm at one point and knew Ike returned to administer another dose. The next day was the wake. I was laid out and after a time I heard shuffling. People were wandering in. Murmurs met me for a while and eventually I could pick out people’s voices as they approached. I strained my ears to listen for my family in particular. At last they reached me.

“I don’t understand. I didn’t even know Kale had a will, or insurance. Did she know she was dying?”

“Basil, hush,” my mother whispered. She was crying. I could tell from the hiccups. “I think your sister knew,” she finally added. “Her last call was riddled. I think she was trying to calmly tell me goodbye. If she knew her death was at hand of course she would make things easier for us.”

Basil was like our father. Question everything. Anything suspicious, question twice. I was happy to have the doctor on my side. He knew what needed to be done in paperwork to make it more believable. “Mother, I just think someone is covering something up. Kale could have been kidnapped, held against her will, or secretly working with some government agency.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. She worked with Skylar,” my mother mumbled. “Look how beautiful your sister looks.”

“Sure it makes sense. Why else were we denied seeing her?”

“She was contagious.”

“That’s what they want you to think.”

I heard footsteps approaching. “Leave your mother alone about this matter,” I heard Skylar intervene. “I know you are trying to cope. We all are, and there are better ways of doing so.”

“What is this illness that killed her anyway?” Basil asked angrily. “Don’t you dare say a severe case of pneumonia, because I won’t hear it. That’s not contagious!” Basil stormed off. I heard his heavy boots hitting the floor with full force as he took off.

Skylar and mother were silent for a moment. Mother sobbing. I wasn’t sure what Skylar was doing. Probably rubbing mother’s back. He’d have a tear in his eye. He wouldn’t let it show in public. He’d be there for mother and Tabbi first and foremost. I heard mother move away, letting others step up. Stories ranged from funny to sad and there were a few embarrassing ones. Some I didn’t remember. I was grateful for the coma state or I might have laughed or bawled. Then came the moment I feared. I could feel myself being lifted again. An engine came to life. I was in the hearse and moving to the cemetery. My father had a plot for our family created before he had gone to war. Mother would be laid next to him, hand and hand even in death he had said. Basil would be placed to his left and I would be placed to mother’s right. Our family would be reunited in the afterlife. That was his hope. As a child I had pondered if he knew he would be leaving us sooner than one hoped. I still didn’t know.

I panicked as the coffin was lowered. It didn’t show with the drug still in my system. I clung to Lucas’s promise. I would be out as soon as it was all over. The ceremonial dropping of dirt and laying of flowers followed. I heard the small platters. I could tell the dirt from the flowers. The dirt sounded like rain over a roof. It didn’t calm me. The flowers hit the coffin with a loud thud. I was able to take a deep breath and knew the drug was beginning to wear off. Things grew quiet and I listened tentatively. Lucas would come as soon as everyone was gone. I wasn’t afraid of dark places. I was frightened of the lack of oxygen. I still needed that. Not as much. I would be able to hold my breath for a while, I was told. Once I was able to I opened my eyes to be greeted by complete darkness. I felt like I could make out shapes after a while and so I closed them again in hopes of not scaring myself. I still couldn’t move any other part of me so I couldn’t jump when I heard a violent crash atop the coffin. I heard things scrape above me. Things were being pushed off. The next moment the dying sunlight of evening filled my eyes. Lucas looked like an angel at that point, the light cascading off of him as he looked down at me, a foot on each side of the casket.

“You know I didn’t think you were that popular,” Lucas said.

I couldn’t move, not even to glare at him, I tried but I didn’t think I was getting it across to him. I felt like a rag doll as I was picked up and cradled in Lucas’s arms. In the next instant I was in a warm room and the doctor was peering at me from over Lucas’s shoulder.

“That went rather well. Now you just have to wait until you regain feeling. It should only be a few hours longer.”

Gods didn’t have a good track of time. With so much of it available to them a day could easily feel like a couple hours. To add to that argument, time was not really the same in Lucas’s homestead. It moved as a god needed it to. I didn’t listen to the time allotted. It took longer for the drug to work originally. I figured it’d be the same working its way out of my system. Thankfully Lucas placed me on a sofa. He turned me to look towards the television and flicked the remote. My head rested on his chest, his arm was wrapped around me. He was telling me about all the shows he recorded for me so we could catch up. I felt myself trying to smile and thought at least I would have something to do while I waited.