Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

I’m trembling as I walk into Sinclair Security, my cheeks blazing as memories of Silas and me run through my mind. What was I thinking? How could I have slept with him knowing who he was?

“Good morning,” Amy says, a smile on her face. She glances down at her tablet for a moment before tipping her head toward the elevator. “We’re going to get your biometrics put into the system, and then you’ll receive your company phone and laptop. I’ve got your training schedule and department details here, too.”

I open my mouth to ask for more information, but she smirks and holds up her finger, silencing me before I have a chance to say anything at all. “You’ll have to wait. Sinclair Security is big on proper procedure, so I’m not allowed to tell you anything until all the final paperwork has been taken care of.”

I nod and follow her, my nerves somewhat settled as she shows me around and finishes up my intake procedures. This company is so huge that there’s little to no chance of me running into Silas on a regular basis, right? I don’t think I can face him after last weekend. Just as I’ve begun to relax, Amy leads me back into the elevator and presses the button for the top floor.

“Why are we going there?” I ask hesitantly, fear evident in my voice.

She smirks. “The Ψ division is located on the top floor. It’s our most prestigious department, and the only one that gets to work directly with the boss.”

I let my eyes fall closed for a moment and draw a shaky breath. No. This cannot be happening. Of course I applied for the one division that works directly with Silas.

“You don’t look excited,” Amy says, a hint of confusion in her tone.

“I… um, is it possible for me to switch divisions?”

Amy chuckles and shakes her head. “You’re a perfect fit for the Ψ division, you’ll see.”

I bite down on my lip nervously. It isn’t the division I’m worried about. It’s Silas. The last thing he and I need is to be around each other. I don’t even know how to face him now. He’s my ex’s older brother and my boss. I shouldn’t know what he looks like naked… I shouldn’t know what it feels like when he’s deep inside me.

By the time the elevator doors open, I’m shaking. I’m bound to do or say something stupid, or I’ll make things awkward between us. I can’t afford to lose this job, and being around Silas pretty much guarantees that I will.

“Here we are,” Amy says, placing her tablet down on an empty table. “Meet Jessica and Josh, your team members.” They wave at me briefly before turning back to their work, both of them looking overwhelmed and overworked. The atmosphere is definitely very tense. “The Ψ department is incredibly small because each person here is hand selected by the boss. There are a few team members who are currently working at a client site, so you probably won’t meet them for another few months, and then there’s me. I’m not officially part of this team, but I assist where I can.”

I nod, taking note of everything she’s telling me.

“This entire floor has flexible seating, so you can pick whichever desk is free. We do that because you won’t always be working with the same team members, and you might not be able to disclose what you’re working on even within your team. The Ψ division is somewhat different. It’s the department that’s closest to all the rumors you hear about Sinclair Security. They truly handle Black Ops. Not even I know exactly what everyone works on. This is the department with the highest clearance, salary and perks, but it’s also the department with the longest working hours and the highest level of confidentially, hence the various non-disclosure agreements you’ve been asked to sign.”

I nod nervously and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

Amy smiles at me, a look of understanding in her eyes. “You’ll be fine, Alanna. Every person on this team was handpicked by the boss.”

That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. What motive does Silas have for accepting me onto this team? Was it truly because I passed his test? Could it be that simple?

“Follow me,” Amy says. “Mr. Sinclair told me to bring you to his office once we finished up with all the admin and onboarding.”

Oh no. No, no no. Before I can even think of an excuse, she’s knocking on Silas’s door. Amy grins as she opens the door, not realizing that I’m mentally losing it. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to sink through the floor more than I do in this moment, yet I try my hardest to paste on a poker face as I follow her in.

Silas looks up from the papers on his desk, and I pause in the middle of his office. Damn it. Why does he have to look so good in that suit? This man is the devil. That look in his eyes instantly transports me back to the night we shared, and a shiver runs down my spine.

“Alanna.” The way he says my name has my heart skipping a beat. He’s a danger to my sanity.

“Mr. Sinclair.”

He smirks and glances at Amy. “I need that report I requested a bit sooner than expected. Do you think you could start working on it right now?”

She glances at me briefly before nodding. “Of course, boss.”

No, don’t leave, I silently beg, but she merely smiles and walks away.

I’m unsure how to behave, unsure what to say. When I headed to work this morning, I was so sure I’d be able to keep it together, but now that I’m standing in front of him, I’m nervous and scared. I have no doubt my cheeks are bright red, too.

“Alanna.”

I look up at him and swallow hard as I square my shoulders. I still remember the way he looked at me in the mirror as he pushed into me. I remember the way his lips felt against mine, and even worse… I want another taste of him.

“Mr. Sinclair,” I mutter, my voice lacking the confidence I tried to inject in it.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Call me Silas, like you did last weekend.”

My eyes widen, and I shake my head. “I can’t. We never should’ve… can we please just forget that even happened? Please.”

“You regret sleeping with me?” His tone is harsh, and when my eyes meet his, all I see is anger in his gaze.

“Don’t you? I’m your brother’s ex. It never should’ve happened.”

“Alanna, even if I wanted to, I’m not going to forget about the way your lips felt around my cock or the way you moaned my name. You were hungry for my cock, baby, and you know it. That pussy of yours is the best I’ve ever had, and I won’t pretend otherwise.”

I stare at him in shock, my cheeks blazing. “It was barely memorable,” I lie. “I’ve had better.”

Silas sits up, his eyes flashing with anger. He looks away, but not before I catch a hint of agony in his gaze. It hits me straight in the chest and makes me wish I could take my words back.

“I see,” he says simply. “It looks like I’m the only one who was affected then, huh? Very well. I read too much into it, clearly. As you wish, I’ll pretend nothing happened. You’ll be working directly with me, after all.”

I nod, but I feel oddly defeated, even though I got exactly what I wanted. I watch Silas as he runs a hand through his hair and sighs. He looks… hurt, and my own heart aches in response.

“Has Amy informed you about our mentorship programme?”

I nod, unable to face him.

“Congratulations,” he says drily. “You’ll be my mentee from today onwards, meaning you’ll be shadowing me closely. I’ll be overseeing your training myself, and I’m far stricter than most of our other mentors. I expect you to be at your best, every single day. Fail to meet my standards, and you can kiss your job goodbye.”

I tense and narrow my eyes at him, my earlier remorse fading away. “Did you become my mentor so you could find a way to get rid of me? I promise you that I won’t let my personal life interfere with work, so there’s no need for you to worry. I’m not going to give you a chance to fire me. This job is everything I’ve ever wanted, and I won’t let you down, no matter what you throw at me.”

He stares at me for a moment, his eyes moving over my face. “You think you have what it takes to be part of the Ψ division?”

My confident smile wavers for a moment. I don’t think I’m worthy of being here, but now that I am here, I’m going to fight to maintain my place. This is my dream job, and I won’t let him sabotage it for me. “I do, and I’ll prove it to you.”

He looks away and nods. “We’ll see. This department is only for the best of the best. It only takes a small mistake to lose your job… and I’ll be watching you closely.”

I cross my arms, mimicking him. “Watch me all you want. You won’t catch me slipping.”

His eyes roam over my body, and then he chuckles. “Well… I do love watching you.”

I stare at him in shock for a moment, heat rushing to my cheeks as I remember the way he looked at me in the mirror. “You… I…”

“Yeah?” His voice is husky, his eyes filled with that same look he wore when he took me home.

I shake my head, praying I’m not blushing. “I look forward to learning from you,” I tell him, a wide smile on my face.

He chuckles and nods. “And I look forward to teaching you a lesson or two.”

My eyes widen a fraction, and then I shake my head. He’s trying to get a rise out of me, and I won’t give him the satisfaction. Instead, I merely nod at him before turning and walking away.

There’s nothing he can throw at me that I can’t handle. He thinks he can get rid of me easily, but he’s wrong. Silas Sinclair doesn’t know it yet, but he’s met his match. I won’t go down easily.