Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

“Silas, I’m ready to beg for it,” she says, a vindictive glint in her eyes. Her eyes are roaming over my body, but it’s not me she’s seeing. What she sees is an opportunity for revenge. What the fuck did Ryan do to her?

“Did you break up with him?”

She looks up at me, surprised. “We’re done,” she says, her voice soft. I’m relieved at the lack of heartbreak in her eyes. She seems angry and hurt, but not heartbroken. Maybe there’s still a chance for us, after all.

“Does he know that?”

She shakes her head and grabs her phone. “No, but he’s about to find out.”

I watch her as she texts him, breaking up with him over a text message. Damn. He really fucked up, huh? I should feel sorry for my brother, but all I feel is relief. For weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do. I’ve been wanting to break them up, but I couldn’t stand the thought of forcibly breaking her heart, depriving her of the happiness she sought out. I will always place Alanna’s happiness above all else — including my own.

She smiles as she puts her phone away and takes a step closer to me. I won’t even pretend to lie to myself. I want her. I always want her.

All I could think about when she interviewed with me was what it’d be like to work with her, to steal a kiss from her here and there. I imagined her in a sexy skirt, her legs spread on my desk. I’ve wanted her in my bed from the moment I found her. Her dating my brother didn’t change a thing for me. I still love her the same. I still want her as much as I always have — but not like this.

“Come on,” I tell her. “Let me take you home.”

She blinks in confusion, and I watch her emotions and thoughts dance in those beautiful eyes of hers. “I… how about we go to your place instead?” she asks. Her sweet smile is in contrast with the calculative look in her eyes, and something about it breaks my heart. When I eventually fuck her, I don’t want her to be thinking about Ryan, and tonight he’s all that’s on her mind.

“No,” I tell her, and the devastation in her eyes nearly wrecks me. She wraps her arms around herself, and it’s not hard to guess what she’s thinking. The sting of rejection is clear in her demeanor.

“I see,” she says, her voice shaky. She looks down at the floor and takes a step back. It only takes her a second to paste a smile on her face, and then she nods at me politely. “You don’t need to take me home, but thank you for offering. I think I’ll head back inside.”

I cross my arms and stare her down. “And do what, exactly?”

She grins. “Find one of Ryan’s childhood friends to spend the night with,” she says, shrugging. “Before the night is over, I’ll have hurt him in the best way I can, with or without you.”

This woman… she makes my fucking blood boil. “Like hell you are.” I grab her wrist and pull her along. She resists, but there’s no fucking way she’s going back in there. “You want to fuck the pain away tonight, baby? Fine — but you won’t be doing it with anyone but me.”

She’s still the same fucking psycho with a heart of gold that I used to know. Once she’s set her mind to something, there’s no talking her out of it. This isn’t how I imagined being with her, but fuck it. If it’s Alanna, I’ll take what I can get.

She’s quiet as I drive us to my home, parking into the elevator that takes us straight up to my penthouse. I glance at her, wondering if she’s changed her mind, but the glint in her eyes tells me she hasn’t.

I step out of the car and walk around it to open the door for her. She takes my hand, and when her eyes meet mine, I smile. I’ve missed her, and having her here in my home is a bit of a dream come true. She has no idea that I modeled it after the plans we made together.

“This… this is your house?” she asks, her voice filled with disbelief. I smile at her and nod. “This is my home. The house you came to for dinner is my family home. It’s where I grew up and where I might eventually live when I settle down, but this is where I live on a day-to-day basis.”

She nods and looks around, taking in all the glass and the beautiful skyline. The view is the main reason I bought this place, and I have a feeling she appreciates it as much as I do. When we were cooped up in that tiny room without a window, we both dreamed of large windows and a beautiful skyline. Now we’ve got it.

“Wow,” she whispers, and I grin. I walk over to the kitchen and grab a bottle from the wine fridge.

I hand her a glass and she takes it with shaking hands. “Changed your mind?” I ask, wanting to tease her.

She looks at me, her eyes slowly roaming over my body before moving back up. “No,” she says, placing her glass on the counter. She takes a step forward, pausing in front of me. I tense when she places her hand on my chest and slides it up, until she’s got it wrapped around the back of my neck. “Did you?”

I smile and tilt my face toward hers. “What will you do if I say that I changed my mind?”

She grins and rises to her tiptoes. “I’ll just have to seduce you,” she whispers, her lips brushing over mine.

Her eyes flutter closed as she kisses me, her touch cautious, hesitant. I smile against her lips and thread my hand through her hair, pulling her closer roughly. For a while, I wondered if I’d ever hold her like this again. I thought I’d lost her to Ryan, and I was too scared to make a move, too scared to hurt her. I thought I’d have to live off the memories we created for the rest of my life, the ones only I remember, but here she is, back in my arms.

She moans as she kisses me properly, her body moving against mine, betraying her desire. I’ve waited years to feel her against me like this, and it’s even better than in my memories. I push against her, making her take a step back.

I walk her toward the mirror in the hallway that way, step by step, her lips never leaving mine. Alanna moans against my mouth, her tongue tangling with mine in a way that has me wondering what her hot little mouth will feel like around my cock. I have a feeling it’ll be a thousand times better than my memories. I turn her around in front of the mirror and place my lips right below her ear, pressing a featherlight kiss to her skin.

“If you’re going to do this, Alanna… if you’re going to use me to take revenge on Ryan, then you’re going to watch yourself in this mirror. You’re going to watch me fuck you.”