Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

Alanna glares at me, and the dim lights in the alleyway just make her look even more beautiful.

I take a moment to drink her in and smile, enjoying the way her bravado wavers as her eyes widen ever so slightly.

“Me? Following you?” I ask, feigning ignorance.

I wonder what she sees when she looks at me. Does she see beyond the expensive clothes? Does she see me, or does she see the persona of Silas Sinclair, CEO of Sinclair Security? I’ve spent two weeks coming here every single day, waiting for a sign to prove that a small part of her remembers me, but she’s given me nothing. I’m just a stranger to her, and it kills me.

Just looking at her has my heart clenching tightly, every fiber of my being begging me to take her into my arms. I so desperately want to tell her about us, but I can’t.

I can’t risk distorting her memories. If the doctor is right, and her amnesia is truly caused by her subconscious desire to forget her painful past, then I cannot force her to remember. I can’t make her go through the pain of losing her father, of homelessness. Not again. Not because of my own selfish desires.

Besides, there’s no guarantee that would accomplish anything. Even if I do tell her, there’s no way to know how her mind will respond, what she’ll remember.

Alanna narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest, drawing my attention to her breasts. She’s still so fucking beautiful. I take my time trailing my eyes back up to hers, a smirk finding its way onto my lips when I find her staring me down.

“Yes. You. My colleague tells me you only ever hang around the coffee shop when I’m there.”

Alanna looks at me like I’m some random stranger, and it hurts. I’d hoped that seeing me would spark a memory, but no such luck. I’m truly no one to her.

“Is that so?” I ask, my voice soft. I grin at her and take a step toward her. She tenses, and then she takes a step back, retreating until her back is against the wall. She looks up at me with wide eyes, a hint of panic simmering below the surface.

I lean my forearms against the wall, caging her in. There are only a few inches between us, and part of me wants to push further. I want her against me, but only if she comes willingly.

“You should’ve run,” I warn her. “When you find yourself alone in an alley with alarm bells ringing in your head, you run, Alanna. You don’t pick a fight you can’t win.”

She places her hands against my chest, as though she’s about to push me away, but then she pauses. She looks me in the eye, and at last I see a hint of recognition. It fades so quickly that I’m left wondering if I imagined it.

“I have a boyfriend,” she whispers. Her hands are palms flat on my chest, the heat of her skin sinking through my shirt. This is the closest I’ve had her in years.

“And where is he now?” I whisper back, pushing down the pain her words caused.

Alanna swallows hard, and I watch her gather her courage. Good girl. “He isn’t someone you can mess with. If you so much as touch me, he’ll make you disappear,” she warns me, and I smile. No one in this city is untouchable, certainly not her boyfriend. Not to me. Besides, he won’t be her boyfriend for much longer. Out of everyone in this world, he’s the only person she can never be with. Not him. I can’t figure out how they ended up together, but I’m putting an end to it.

I lean in and brush the back of my hand over her cheek, my touch soft. “Is that so? I’d love to see him try.”

She blinks in disbelief, as though that isn’t the response she expected, and disappointment washes over me. The Alanna I used to know never would’ve hidden behind a man. She’d have tried to knee me in the balls the second I cornered her.

I pull away with a sigh. “You should’ve run,” I repeat. “You shouldn’t be alone in these dark alleys at all, Alanna. When you do inevitably find yourself here, be quick. Don’t zone out. Don’t linger. When someone approaches you and your intuition tells you that something is off, you run, you hear me? Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations.”

She nods and wraps her arms around herself protectively, her eyes on mine. There’s so much I want to say, yet now that I finally have her alone, nothing feels right. I take a step away and run a hand through my hair.

“Did you… did you follow me to make sure I was safe?”

I look away and shake my head, lying to her. “No,” I say, tipping my head toward the end of the alley. “My car is parked there.”

Her cheeks darken as my words sink in, and I smile. Embarrassment looks cute on her. “I… I’m sorry. I misread the situation. I didn’t mean to…”

I smirk. “You didn’t mean to what? Didn’t mean to assume I was interested in you?”

She bites down on her lip and I follow her every movement, all the while wondering what those lips will taste like. Does she still taste like cherry chapstick? I’ll find out soon enough.

“I… yes. I’m sorry. That was… God, I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry.”

I smile at her, enjoying that sheepish expression on her face. She’s still so cute, and I still love teasing her.

“I am,” I tell her. “I am interested in you, but I’ll never you hurt you, Alanna. Not unless you ask me to.” I smirk at her, enjoying the way her cheeks turn redder still. “And when I take you, it won’t be without your consent — you’ll be begging me for it.”

I turn and walk away, leaving her staring after me. This isn’t how I expected that conversation to go, but hell… when do things ever go to plan with Alanna?