Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

The last couple of weeks have flown by in a daze of happiness overshadowing our sorrows. There are nights Alanna still cries herself to sleep, and more often than not, she dreams of her father, waking herself up with the force of her tears. Despite that, our days are filled with happiness and hope for the future we’re working towards.

I was worried she’d lose her spirit, but she hasn’t. Whenever she gets discouraged, she adds something to her digital scrap book depicting our life together. My crazy girlfriend has already picked out our home and our car, as well as the color scheme for all of it. I can’t wait to someday sit in a living room of our own, her vision come to life.

I check my watch as I head to our room. Alanna should be back any time now. We’ve managed to coordinate her shifts at the supermarket with my work, and we’ve gotten into a good routine. During the day, she goes to school and I attend my lectures, and afterwards we both go to work. As much as we can, we leave our evenings open for each other. We’re blessed that we have Ricardo’s support. While our circumstances aren’t ideal, it could’ve definitely been much worse. We’ve made sure to count our blessings as we work toward a better future.

“Si!”

She walks into our room and smiles at me, her eyes shimmering with love. This will never get old. I’ll never tire of seeing her after a long day.

Alanna runs up to me, and I catch her as she jumps into my arms. Yeah, this will never ever get old. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I turn around with her in my arms, pushing her up against the bedroom door as my lips find hers. She moans against my lips, her body moving against mine as I kiss her, taking my time with her.

“Did you know? I was starting to feel a little tired,” I murmur against her lips in between kisses.

Alanna giggles and captures my bottom lip between her teeth teasingly. “Then let me recharge you.” She threads her hand through my hair and grips tightly, her touch possessive as she deepens our kiss. Alanna’s hands move over my back, her fingers slipping underneath my t-shirt. Things have been moving fast between us lately, and I know she wants more, but I’m worried she’s using lust as a distraction from her grief, and I don’t want her to regret anything between us. I want her to take her time and be really sure. I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with her, so I can wait as long as she needs me to if it means we’re building a solid foundation.

I tear my lips off hers reluctantly and drop my forehead to hers, my breathing ragged. “I desperately need a shower, baby.” A cold one, preferably.

I put her down carefully, and she looks at me through narrowed eyes for a moment, but then she nods. I disappear into the bathroom instantly, my heart racing. This woman will be the death of me, without a doubt. How much longer can I resist her? I want to take my time with her and let her experience every step of a relationship slowly, one after another, but fuck. I want her so fucking badly. It was only last week when I made her come on my fingers for the very first time. I’ll need to be much much more patient.

I let my eyes fall closed as I wrap my hand around my cock, images of Alanna flooding my mind. I don’t think she realizes what it does to me to have her in my space like this. Seeing her wearing my t-shirts, falling asleep with her in my arms, kissing her whenever I please. Then there’s the way she’s touching me lately, her hands wandering every time I make out with her. I thought I’d die when her fingers wrapped around my cock last night. Just one touch, and I’m ready to burst.

I freeze when the bathroom door opens, my hand still wrapped around my cock. Alanna pushes the shower curtain aside, and my heart skips a fucking beat when I find her standing in front of me, naked.

“What are you doing?” she asks, her eyes on my hands. “Do you need some help with that?”

She steps into the shower wearing a nervous expression, her touch hesitant as she places her palms flat against my chest.

“Ray, what do you think you’re doing?”

She smiles up at me, and my heart starts to race. “Forcing you to give in,” she whispers. “I’ve been trying to seduce you for a while now, but every time I think I’ve convinced you, you pull away.”

She inhales deeply, as though she’s gathering her courage, and then she pushes her body flush against mine.

Fucking hell. She’s really testing my patience today, huh? “What exactly is it you’re asking for, baby?”

She glares at me. “You’ll really make me say it?”

I smile at her and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against me, my cock pressing against her stomach.

Alanna looks up at me, her gaze pleading. “Si,” she whispers.

I smirk and turn us around so I’ve got her pressed up against the wall. Alanna’s eyes are filled with so much passion that I swear I could come just looking at her. The girl of my dreams, wet and naked, water droplets running down her breasts. She’s so fucking beautiful, and she has no idea how much power she holds over me.

I grab her wrists and pin them above her head. “Keep them there,” I order.

She nods and bites down on her lip as I grab some soap and lather it in my hands. Watching her chest rise and fall, her nipples rock hard for me. Yeah, she has no idea what she’s doing to me.

I run my hands over her neck and down her collarbone, to the top of her breasts. She instinctively arches her back for me, and I smirk as my hands dip lower, cupping her tits. “Beautiful,” I whisper as my thumbs brush over her nipples. Soft little moans escape her lips as she stands against the wall, her arms raised up and her eyes on me.

I take my time torturing my girlfriend, lathering up her body, slowly running my fingers down her stomach, pausing at her hip. Alanna looks at me, panicked, and I can’t help but chuckle. She’s so scared I’ll stop here, but how could I?

“Silas, please,” she moans, and I smile as my fingers trail lower, disappearing between her legs.

“Is this what you want, Ray?”

Alanna nods and I bite down on my lip as I push a finger into her, my thumb brushing over her clit. It’s so fucking insane knowing I’m the only man that’s ever touched her like this, the only one who’s ever seen her expression as she tries not to come for me.

I watch her as I finger her, the water pouring down on us as I lean in and kiss her, swallowing down her moans. “I can’t,” she murmurs against my lips.

I smirk and push another finger into her, curling them in an attempt to hit her g-spot while my thumb brushes over her clit. Her eyes widen and she gasps, her lips falling open as a moan escapes her lips. “Silas,” she groans, her pussy contracting all around my fingers.

I chuckle as I drop my forehead to hers. I fucking love this. I love that she’s all mine. I love having my name on her lips as she comes. I love everything about her.

I pull my fingers away and grab the soap to clean her up, taking my time, enjoying that post-orgasm look in her eyes. She looks so satisfied, so happy, and knowing I made her look that way is a complete power trip.

Alanna smiles lazily as I turn the shower off and grab a towel to dry her off with. “I want more, Silas.” She takes the towel from me the second I’ve got her dry and moves it over my body with as much care as I just showed her, drying me. “I want it all with you. I came in here to seduce you, and I won’t stop until I’ve succeeded.”

I grin and lift her into my arms, the towel falling away as I carry her out of the bathroom. “Is that so?”

I carefully place her on our bed, and Alanna nods as she lies back. I love that she isn’t overly shy around me. She has no reason to be — I’m fucking obsessed with her.

I watch her for a moment before reaching over and grabbing a sharpie from my desk. I smirk as I climb onto bed with her, my cock still as hard as it was in the shower. “Consider me seduced, baby. I’m bewitched, enamored, head over fucking heels.” I lean in and press a kiss to her rib, right below her breast.

I look into her eyes as I open up my sharpie and draw the Ψ symbol just below her breast, right between her ribs. “And now I’ve officially marked you, so you’re mine. Forever.”

“Then make me yours, fully,” she pleads, her voice husky.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby. It’ll hurt.”

“I don’t care. I want it all with you, Si.”

I join her on our bed and lie down next to her, my hand roaming over her body. I watch her carefully as the tips of my fingers brush over her pussy, my eyes widening when I realize she’s wet.

Alanna blushes, and it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. How the fuck does she just keep getting more and more beautiful every goddamn day?

“I told you,” she whispers. “I want you.”

I smirk as I roll on top of her, my lips finding hers. I kiss her slowly, leisurely, enjoying the way she moves her body against mine, making my cock slip against her pussy with every move. I keep myself raised on top of her with one arm and bury the other in her hair, fisting a handful of it as I lower my lips to her neck, sucking and teasing, loving the way she moans for me.

“You really do want it, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she moans. “Please, Si. It’s not just physical, I swear. I need you.”

I pull away to look at her and align my cock with her pussy. “Baby,” I whisper.

She nods at me. “Silas,” she begs.

I push the tip into her, my eyes falling closed as I try my hardest to restrain myself. “You’re so fucking tight,” I groan. “I’m worried, Ray. You’re wet as fuck, but this is still really going to hurt.”

She wraps her arms around my neck, her eyes on mine as I push in another inch. Her lips fall open, and I pause as she takes a moment to adjust. With each movement, I feel her pussy clench around me. I won’t last long when her pussy is this good.

“You okay, baby?”

She nods, but I see the pain she tries to hide.

I push in a little deeper, and she groans. “You’re doing so good,” I tell her. “You’re taking it so well, baby.”

She pulls on my neck, and I lean in closer to kiss her. Alanna lifts her hips, taking me a little deeper, and I lower my body on top of hers fully, thrusting all the way into her. She groans against my lips, and I hold as still as I can, trying my best to make this easiest for her.

“Finally,” she whispers against my mouth. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Silas.”

I pull away a little to look at her and pull out of her a little. “I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you more, Si,” she says, her hand finding its way into my hair.

I bite down on my lip as I push back into her, moving slowly, carefully. “Does it hurt?”

She shakes her head even though she has tears in her eyes, and I press a kiss to her forehead as I take her with strong, slow moves, trying my hardest not to hurt her. It’s the toughest goddamn thing I’ve ever had to do. I so badly want to fuck her roughly, but I can’t. Not today.

“I swear it usually lasts a lot longer, but I’ve wanted you for so fucking long, Alanna…”

She giggles and threads her fingers through my hair, her gaze filled with so much love that my own heart overflows. I can’t get enough of her.

“I want to watch you lose control over me, Silas.”

I smirk before showing her just that, taking her harder, faster, until I’m coming deep inside her. I collapse on top of her, and Alanna wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

“That was even better than I imagined,” I admit. “Your pussy is unreal.”

She kisses my neck, my pulse racing against her lips. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For not making me wait any longer, for not rejecting me.”

I pull out of her, somewhat startled at the redness coating her thighs. Blood. I expected it, but it still surprises me. Alanna clenches her thighs together, her cheeks heating, and I smile to myself as I get out of bed to grab her a towel.

“Si!” she murmurs as I place a warm, wet towel between her legs, wiping her clean carefully.

Happiness… I didn’t expect to find it in this place, but I did. I found it in her.