BigBug

In the holding pen, the M&M in charge of the cells carried two tubs of human fat into a storeroom beside his office. It laid them down beside the air conditioning vent and turned up the temperature. It wanted the human fat to be nice and warm when they stripped the little girls naked and greased them. It was great fun trying to catch them in the maze as they slithered and squirmed out of one’s grasp. The maze was specially created by DATA itself to provide additional entertainment and keep the M&Ms exercised. The M&M peered in at the kids. It loved greasing the kids and all that went with it. Only a couple of hours to go and then party time. It licked its lips and shoved its tongue out making obscene licking movements in at the kids. The kids were all screaming.

Bigbug held the syringe close to Moon's eyeball. The dose was two hundred and fifty millilitres for each eye. Half the contents of the syringe through each pupil. Directly into the left and right side of the brain and then brain removal, examination, and adaptation. Easy peasy.

“Don’t worry about the blindness. You will be given new eyes later.”

“I wish I could be converted,” said Seamus, “but,” he sighed, “I know I am not worthy.”

Moon closed his eyes desperately praying that God would stop this horror. Moon’s restraints were undone and a young boy’s voice whispered in his ear. “Pretend you are unconscious.” Bigbug moved with astonishing speed. He rammed the syringe into the tube it had been using to feed itself Bug juice and began to spike DATA.

Seamus knocked Bigbug to his feet. He grabbed Bigbug by the throat. “No,” screamed Seamus, “you are attacking the Creator. Stop!” Seamus began to scream, “Help, guards, help,’ they are attacking DADA.” Seamus was preventing Bigbug injecting DATA with the GUSH. They struggled. Seamus wrenched the syringe from Bigbug’s hand. It fell onto the floor. DATA began to click. Moon gave Seamus a karate chop on the back of his neck. Seamus fell to the ground. Bigbug retrieved the syringe and injected the GUSH into DATA. “Just in time,” said Bigbug but it was the small boy talking. Pieter van Zoete was back in control.

“I had to wait until DATA was programming elsewhere. More GUSH, sir.”

“How many?”

“Ten more should do it.”

Moon gave him the tabs. Bigbug forced then into the tube and blew them into the Bug juice running into the hive. Seamus stirred on the floor. Bigbug the boy sent a tendril from his finger into Seamus’s brain. “He should be ok now,” said Bigbug the boy. “I severed his server. The connection is broken. In a few minutes, all DATA’s connections will be broken and servers will be down. Until then we have to defend ourselves against the Clones.” There was a rattling at the door. More rattling and then heavy pounding. The Cyclops, the high priests of DATA, had heard DATA’s alert calls. They knew there was something wrong. They wanted in. The door was taking a pounding.

“Quickly,” urged Bigbug the boy, “in here.” It opened a door to the left of the hive. It was a computer cave and data storage bank. Bigbug the boy went to a weapons cabinet and unlocked it. Seamus came into the room with them. Bigbug the boy handed Moon a rifle. “It’s a laser weapon specially designed for the Cyclops to defend DATA in case the M&Ms go berserk like the older Mk1s did before. That’s why DATA feeds them the children. To control them. They are addicted to the girl children and they will do anything to get one. These lasers will stop the monsters dead in their tracks. We have a surprise. The M&Ms don’t know about them. It is fully charged. You have fifty shots. Do you know how to shoot?”

“I do,” says Moon. He shouted, “Down,” as he quickly lifted up the laser and shot the first of the Cyclopes who burst into the room. The laser rifle worked all right. Moon hit the Cyclops in the throat. Its head fell off to one side dangling on a piece of burnt skin. Moon ran back into the hive. The Cyclopes were trying to disconnect the Bug juice tube. Moon killed all four of them at close range careful not to hit the Bug juice tube. Seamus appeared in front of him. Moon was caught dead to rights. He held up his hands. Seamus raised his laser rifle and fired. One shot. A blinding searing flash of white heat zipped past Moon. The Cyclops fell heavily behind Moon the poisoned blade falling out of its hand.

“Merci, mon ami,” shouted Moon to Seamus.

“ Welcome,” replied Seamus.

The Cyclops were all dead. Seamus made sure by going up to each of them and shooting them all again with a hand held laser pistol. Their horrible heads popped and melted leaving poisonous, pancake puddles of remnant programme on the rock floor.

Moon said to Bigbug the boy aiming his laser at the spinning hive. “Let’s destroy this fucking thing.”

“No,” roared the Bigbug boy, “please, sir. You cannot do that. DATA is directly connected to the spinning Earth. If the hive is damaged and spins faster the Earth spins faster. If it slows down the Earth slows down. If it stops, one half of the planet is in permanent sunshine and the other half is in darkness. We would never survive the cataclysm. I have to disconnect it.”

“Ok where are the gearbox and driveshaft?” asked Moon.

The Bigbug boy laughed for the first time in decades “In here. In the terminals and hard drives. That’s the only way I can describe it to you. Leave it all to me. We have a more pressing problem. The six M&Ms we left behind at the gate. They are making their way up here to investigate. Look.” Bigbug the boy pointed up at the security monitor. The six M&Ms were swaggering up the tunnel from the Oz gates. They would soon be at the door to the hive. “Stall them until I shut down the programs and disconnect DATA. Do not let them in. I only need a few minutes.”

Bigbug went back into the computer room. There was a loud knock at the door to the Cyclops quarters. Moon and Seamus took up defensive positions either side of the door. They could see the face of the sergeant M&M in the screen to the side of the door. The other five were hiding out of sight. It was an ugly, frightening, creature. Its surgical steel teeth glinted in the light. It spoke into the intercom.

“What is the situation in there, sir? Respond.”

“Everything is fine here,” replied Moon. “Go back to your post.”

“Open the door.”

“This is a hostage situation here”, shouts Moon. “We have taken DATA hostage. Any attempts force the door, any attempt at rescue, and a nuclear device will be detonated.”

“Who are you? What do you want?” The M&Ms face was a picture of suspicion and surprise.

“Let the children go and we want one million euros in used 50 euro notes for each child. Twenty-five million euros. Take the money to a plane at Schiphol. We want a fully fuelled up 747 Jumbo Jet and two pilots.”

“Who are you? Let me talk to Professor van Zoete.”

Seamus was marvelling at Moon’s creative ingenuity. Where the hell was he digging all this stuff up? Seamus gripped the pistol grip of his rifle. He was resigned to his fate. They had a fighting chance and he had two laser pistols in his belt. He had the means to kill himself and his friend Moon.

“We demand to talk to your superiors,” stalled Moon. “Go and take our demands to them.”

“DATA is our superior. Open the door or we will break it down.”

“The bomb is fitted with anti-handling devices. Go near it and it will explode. I also have a hand held trigger. Try to come in here and I will blow this place into tiny bits of shit you disgusting bastards. Otherwise, the bomb has been set to explode in two hours and eight minutes. The detonation is irreversible. Only our superiors in North Korea have the code to stop detonation. When we and the children are safely on the plane they will send you the code.”

“North Korea?” muttered the M&M. It was very confused.

“Yes, this is a rescue revenge attack for the kidnap of the North Korean children.”

The M&Ms started screaming in outrage. They were getting ready to charge. Seamus was kneeling behind an upturned table. He had three laser rifles. One was in his hands aimed at the door. The other two were on the floor ready for instant use. His hands had stopped shaking.

“You lie,” snarled the M&M sergeant, “there are no readings of any nuclear material. We have scanned. There is no trace of a nuclear device. Open the door, prison pie.” It snarled and snapped it steel teeth. The M&Ms began to howl an unnatural wail of terror to come. It sent shivers down Seamus’s spine. The M&M hammered on the door, “Open!” they were breaking down the door. It would not hold out much longer.

Bigbug the boy rushed into the Cyclops quarters. He gave the lads the thumbs up. He went to the door. “It is ok sergeant. I am opening the door now.” Bigbug the boy opened up the door and stepped into the rushing M&Ms. He managed to grab the M&M about to throw the stun/flash grenade and wrestle him outside onto the entrance tunnel floor. The grenade was lost in the tussle and went off with a deafening flash and bang. Moon shot the first two M&Ms as they rolled in the door. Seamus very calmly shot two more. They were utterly confused. They didn’t know what weapon was hitting them. The fifth M&M managed to discharge a few rounds but they went wild before both Moon and Seamus firing together obliterated the beast.

“Awesome,” said Moon holding up the laser rifle, “if we had these in the Legion –”

“Drop your weapons,” the sixth M&M came into the room pushing Bigbug the boy in front of him using it as a shield. It held a pistol to Bigbug’s head. Bigbug the boy nodded to them. Moon and Seamus laid down their weapons. The M&M released Bigbug the boy and rushed to take away the powerful lasers. It bent down to retrieve the lasers when Bigbug the boy struck with tremendous speed. The M&M fell over dead in an instant.

“That’s their weakest point,” said Bigbug the boy pulling the poisoned Cyclops blade out from the M&Ms ass hole. “What goes in has to come out. They are disgusting creatures. Always eating. Always shitting. They have a small flap in their body armour to facilitate defecation. They leak. It’s the diet I suppose. No fibre in a human.” It wiped the blade on the dead M&M.

“These are deadly. One prick and they will kill anything living. Instantly. Get one each. We may need them.”

Seamus picked up a poisoned blade and went around stabbing each of the fallen M&Ms.

“That’s not necessary,” said Bigbug the boy. “They are dead.”

“I know they are dead,” replied Seamus but they can never be dead enough for me.”

“Let’s go and collect DATA, sirs,” Bigbug the boy walked into the hive. The protective force field shield had been disabled and DATA no longer hovered and spun. There was nothing but silence in the room and DATA resting on the daïs. The awesome power that DATA previously radiated was gone.

“Is it decoupled?” asked Seamus.

“Yes,” said Bigbug the boy. “DATA is in stasis.”

“Right,”’ says Moon raising his laser. Seamus did the same, “we can destroy it then?”

“If only it were that simple. No, you cannot destroy it. In its present preservation mode, it is indestructible. If you fire upon it, you may wake it up and we need all the time we can get. We have to move it and we have to hurry too. They are going to rape and eat the children in an hour or so.”

“Rape them?” Seamus was sick and horrified.

“ Yes. They rape them as they devour them. This is the fate for all human females when the Great Cull begins.”

Moon stepped up onto the dais. He rolled DATA. “It is a light as a beach ball.” He rolled DATA over to Seamus and Bigbug the boy. Moon wrapped his arms around DATA and lifted it up. “What’s this made from?”

Bigbug the boy sighed and smiled. “Data created matter. You are holding the DATA of pure matter.”

Moon put it back down. “This thing made matter?” Moon was impressed.

“No, it provided the data for Matter to make itself.”

“What are we going to do with it?” asked Seamus.

“I am going to take it somewhere where it can do no harm.”

“What about this facility? What about the clones?” asked Seamus?

“When DATA is no longer here all DATA facilities will collapse. Worldwide. Everything here down to the tiniest speck of matter is powered by DATA. Everything will revert, not just here but planet wide, back to what it was before DATA programmed and processed it.”

“Including you?” asked Moon hopefully.

“No. I must stay with DATA until the end. There is no other way. Take as many lasers as you can. I don’t know if the M&Ms are aware of any disturbance here.”

Moon waved his laser. “Let’s wipe the bastards off the face of the Earth.”

“Wear these,” said Bigbug the boy, “on your wrist and put these on too.” It handed Seamus and Moon a device the size of a large rectangular wrist watch and a pair of overalls each.

“What are these?”

“The suits are made from WW wonder wool and they are cloaking devices.” It tapped the device on Moons wrist, “The code is 0000.”

Moon and Seamus put on the overalls. Moon tapped in 0000 first. He turned into the image of a Cyclops. Seamus was startled. He too punched in 0000.

“What are you staring at?” says Moon.

“I haven’t a fucking clue,” replied Seamus. “Do I look like that?”

“Well, I’d say we would win first prize at the Halloween Party in Finnegans.”

“Remember, sirs, the Cyclops do not speak so silence, please. If we are to have any chance of rescuing the girls and escape, we have to get across the spawn tanks without incident.”

Moon was rolling the big DATA ball about. “What about this?”

“We take it with us of course. No one apart from me, you two, and the DATA service Cyclops have never seen DATA. The Cyclops working the spawn tanks and the M&Ms won’t know what it is. Let’s go. We don’t have a lot of time.”

They walked down the tunnel towards the jetty where the Gondola was moored up. Moon was rolling the big ball along. He looked over at Seamus and smiled, “If the MU manager could only see me now,” and he started dribbling down the tunnel with the most powerful entity in the universes.

“Please, sir,” said Bigbug the boy, “Do not tempt fate, you may get transferred.”

They exited the tunnel. The facility began to shake. “It’s not an earthquake,” explained Bigbug the boy, “just the first shudders of the power sources winding down. There should be enough reserve power for us to get out of here but it’s close. The further DATA gets from the hive the more the power diminishes. They were at the Gondola. Moon rolled DATA on board. Seamus stepped on board carrying the two bags of lasers. Bigbug pointed a finger and the Gondola, an illusion really as they were traveling only on a cushion compressed air, and they sailed silently over the heads of the industrious clone making monsters down below. Not one looked up. Seamus could not bear to look down into that hell below. He was sick. Sick with anger. He was sixty-five and he felt ninety. He was just sick of the whole entire nightmare.

“Almost there,” said Bigbug. They docked at the Turtle railway train that would take them back under the North Sea to the cut off station Metro Shell. From there onto Bigbug’s lab at Metro Ship and then a take- off in the Turtle shuttle to freedom.

There were four M&Ms on duty at the station. They saluted Bigbug.

“Not at the party lads?” asked Bigbug the boy in Bigbug’s voice.

“Waiting until you are gone, sir. That’s our orders.”

“Oh that’s not necessary,” replied Bigbug the boy smiling and talking in Bigbug’s voice, “we are all done here. Off you go and enjoy yourselves.” They didn’t move. Bigbug the boy was rolling DATA onto one of the carriages. He saw the M&Ms looking at it. “O this?” It lifted up DATA with one hand and spun it on its finger. “This is for my Christmas Tree.” Bigbug the boy rolled DATA into the carriage. “You are dismissed. Go on off and join the party. Go on get out of here before someone eats your girl.”

That did it. The M&Ms smiled and took off yelping and whooping in the direction of the military marching music blasting out from the M&Ms canteen.

There were three M&Ms in the holding pen. The M&Ms had greased one of the kids with warm human lard and had her forced over a chair face down. An M&M each held one of her twisted arms. They were gloating, frothing at the mouth, clearly enjoying their savage perversion. The third M&M, the witty cannibal, spat on the No 1 branding iron. It did that so the small child could hear the red hot brand sizzle. The children inside the cell were watching this torture. They reacted. The M&Ms grunted.

“Let’s get this over with,” said Seamus. He handed Moon the bag of lasers to carry. Moon nodded. They walked along the gantry towards the holding pen. They saw the holding pen ahead. Great. The door was open. At least they had the element of surprise. As they entered the little girls began screaming.