SWNOVELS Beyond the Game: Chapter 20
“So, which one are you going with?” Colby asks as he works through his game day bowl of Lucky Charms. “The bumblebees or the unicorns?”
I scroll through my phone studying every baby theme this warehouse has to offer. I’ve looked at everything from safari animals to teddy bears, to lady bugs, to mermaids. Although it would all do the trick, and most of it is cute, each in its own way, it doesn’t scream Summer Grace Foster.
“I really have no idea,” I answer with a shake of my head. “I want it to be perfect, you know? I want it to be just for her, but I want to put my own touch on it. I don’t want it to look like I just bought everything off the showroom floor. I want it to mean more than that.”
“Alright, so if you could make it anything you wanted, what would you do?” Milo asks.
“Fuck, if I know.” I lay my phone down and rub my hand over my face. “I’m not a designer. I’m a hockey player. That’s all I know. God, I feel like I’m failing her right now.”
“How so?”
“Because I’m not fucking there! Tate just had a baby and I’m not there to help her.”
“I’m certain she more than understands,” Colby assures me. “Our schedules keep us very busy.”
“Colby’s right, Dex.” Milo sits down next to me. “It sucks that you’re not there, yeah, but at least you know she’s got a team of people helping her. Rory. Charlee. I’m sure Carissa checks in too.”
Colby nods. “She does. Three times a day.”
“See? Stop worrying. She knows where you are. She knows you can’t be with them right now. And I’m sure she also knows they will be the first two people you see the moment we’re back in town.”
Ain’t that the truth.
Zeke pats my shoulder as he walks by. “As for this redecorating project, why wouldn’t you put a little bit of you in the room?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean literally, man. Hockey isn’t just for boys. You know that. It can still be cute and girly but have your personal touch in there. You get to do whatever the hell you want. And whatever you do, I guarantee you, Tatum will love it.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
I pick up my phone again and send a text to my sister.
Me: I need your help.
Rory: How’s Hawken feeling?
Me: He’s good. A little sore but he’s working it out.
Rory: Good. That was a hard hit the other night.
Me: Yeah. He’s a lucky SOB.
Rory: So, what do you need help with?
Me: Gift for Tatum.
Rory: LOL another one? What is it this time? A basket of vibrators?
Me: Does she need a basket of vibrators? I can make that happen.
Rory: I don’t think that’s something brothers and sisters talk about.
Me: But it’s something girls talk about. Don’t tell me you don’t because I know you do.
Rory: Fair
Me: Soooo?
Rory: Pretty sure she has at least one. Other than that, I think she’s waiting for another tool.
Me: There’s another tool? You have to tell me what it is. I’ll send it to her. Whatever she needs.
Rory: Dumbass. *Laugh emoji* Pretty sure that tool is YOU.
Me: Oh.
Rory: Yeah. Oh!
Me: Did she say that?
Rory: In not so many words…maybe.
Me: She likes me????? Like, she likes me, likes me???
Rory: You know I’m supposed to be teaching kids, right?
Me: But you didn’t answer me and just tell those kids you’re talking to your hot shot celebrity brother.
Rory: I just threw up in my mouth. Also, they’re Kindergarteners, Dex. They don’t give a shit who you are. They just want to eat paste and sing the birthday song.
Me: *sigh* fine. Fine. But listen. This delivery will be the biggest one yet. Gonna have some furniture delivered to the penthouse tomorrow.
Rory: Okay…
Me: Nursery furniture.
Rory: *GIF of little kid in Penguins jersey shouting YAAAASS”
Me: You know I hate that GIF, right?
Rory: You know it’s my favorite right? *smirk emoji*
Me: Ugh you kill me. Anyway, Think you can help with a little designing? I’ll send you a few ideas I’m thinking about, but I want to incorporate hockey into the space as well.
Rory: Leave it to me! Charlee and I (and Carissa when she’s back) will make this happen. Eeeek! I’m so excited!
Me: Thanks Rory.
Rory: Good luck tonight!
___
Me: One more night! I get to see my girls tomorrow!
Tatum: *GIF of smiling heart*
Me: I know it could be late, but I would really like to see Summer. And you. Would it be alright if I came over when I’m back in town?
Tatum: Of course! You don’t even have to ask.
Me: I don’t want you to wait up, in case I’m late. I have the key you gave me. I’ll just crash on the couch.
Tatum: You don’t have to do that Dex.
Me: It’s fine. I don’t mind. I just want to be close to my girls.
Tatum: Then join me. In my room.
Not wanting to have this discussion via text message, I tap Tatum’s number and call her.
“Hey.” Her soft sultry voice on the other end of the line sends my body into a beating pulse. Like if I close my eyes, I can feel her through the phone. Fuck, I’ve missed her.
“Do you really mean that?”
“Mean what?”
“Sharing your room? Your bed? You want me to stay with you?”
“If it’s not what you want, it’s o—”
“Tate?”
“Yes?”
“I’m going to need you to answer my question. Do you want me to stay with you?”
“I…I think Summer would love having you nearby.”
I squeeze my eyes closed. “But would you, Tate? Would you love having me nearby?”
Just fucking say the words, Tate, and I’m there.
“Yes. I would.”
I release a huge sigh of relief.
Just the words I needed to hear.
“Then I’ll be there. I’ll stay. Whatever you want, Tate. Whatever you need.”
There’s a silence on the other end of the line and then her soft voice says, “Dex?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something? A personal question?”
“I’m an open book for you, Tatum. Ask me anything.”
She clears her throat and takes a minute before she finally asks, “Have you…I mean it’s fine if you have. We’ve never talked about it one way or the other, but you know, while you’ve been away, have you…spent time with…anyone else?”
The nervousness and apprehension in her voice do not go unnoticed. She’s seriously worried that I might be fucking my way around the country.
“Are you asking me if I’ve slept with anyone?”
“I mean, you have every right, Dex. I shouldn’t even be asking it’s just that—”
“Tatum Grace.”
Light sniffles come from the other end of the line and my heart breaks into a million little pieces. “Yes?”
“I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since before you stepped back into my life. And you can ask any one of the guys about that. Or Rory. They’ll all tell you. I was a mess after Key West. I was infatuated with you. And when I finally saw you again and after, you know, everything, I promised you whatever you needed, whatever you wanted, I would be here and I mean that.”
“What if what I need…what I want… is you?”
“Fuck, Tatum.” I inhale a deep breath and let out a shaky one, trying not to smile too hard. “You have me. Fuck, do you have me.”
“I don’t want to do this parenting thing alone. If there’s a chance that something might be there…between us then—”
“Hell, yes, there’s a chance. There’s more than a chance, Tate. I swear to God, I’ll give it my all for you. I’m sorry I’m not there. I am. It’s killing me to be away right now. I feel like I’m failing you at every turn.”
“What? No. Dex, it’s okay. You’re not failing me at all.”
“A good father would be there twenty-four-seven, Tate.”
She huffs a soft laugh. “A good father loves his kid, Dex. With his whole heart. It doesn’t matter how many minutes are spent in physical proximity. You have a job to do that provides for her. Where would she be if you didn’t?”
“She would have you.”
“Well lucky for her, and for me, it’s not just me. We have you. So, stop worrying, okay? Just because you travel for work doesn’t mean you’re a bad father. You’ve been one hundred percent zoned in on her since the moment she came out of me. You’re a wonderful father. And you’ll continue to be a wonderful father. Are you hearing me?”
How does she do it?
How does she calm the storm inside me before it even hits?
How has she turned my life completely upside down, yet I yearn for more every damn day?
“Dex?”
“I hear you.” My words come out a choked whisper. “I hear you.”
“Okay.”
I hear Summer crying in the background. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah. It’s just time for her to eat again. I’m sorry. I should go.”
“Absolutely. Yeah. Do what you have to do.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
“I promise you will. I’ll try not to scare you.”
“G’night Dex. We’ll be watching you play.”
“G’night Tatum.”