Beyond the Game: Chapter 16
Oooh shit.
I swallow my sudden nerves and try to assess the situation but fuck if I know what the hell I’m doing. “Uh, okay, babe. Don’t panic. Everything’s going to be fine. I can carry you to the car and we’ll—’
“AAAHHHHHH!” She grabs her stomach and doubles over, her face contorted in pain. She shakes her head. “No cars. Now Dex!” She’s holding her breath as she shouts. “This little fucker is coming right NOW!”
Shiiiiiiiiit.
Fuck!
Oh, shit!
What the fuck do I do?
I stare at a sweaty, teary-eyed, slightly panicking Tatum, completely dumbfounded as to what I should be doing right now, inwardly panicking myself, but trying to not let her see my emotions.
“Okay. Okay.” I nod for no other reason than to reassure myself. “Alright, we can do this. Let me call 9-1-1 and they’ll be here before we ca—Whoa! What are you doing?”
I watch in horror as she jimmies her soaked panties down her legs and kicks them off and then tries to lower herself to the floor. I’m at her side in an instant helping her.
“Fuck! Tatum! You mean right fucking now?” Oh, my God, I didn’t think she was that serious!
“I need to push, Dex! I feel it coming. Please help me! You need to deliver this baby!”
I throw my hands up in defense. “Whoa! Babe. I don’t…” I shake my head. “I can’t…I have no idea—”
She grabs my arm and growls like I’ve never heard her before, LISTEN UP SPERM DONOR! I DID NOT CARRY YOUR LITTLE SWIMMER THIS LONG FOR YOU TO WALTZ INTO MY LIFE AT THE END OF THIS PREGNANCY AND NOT HELP ME WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH AND RIGHT NOW IT’S HELLA-TOUGH AND FUCKING SCARY, DO YOU GET THAT? HUH? DO YOU GET THAT A SMALL SCREAMING MONSTER IS ABOUT TO BE PUSHED THROUGH PARTS OF ME THAT ENJOYED YOUR PRETTY PIERCED DICK EIGHT MONTHS AGO?”
“Yeah…yeah, babe. I get it.”
“THEN PUSSY UP AND GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND CATCH THE ONE I FAILED TO SWALLOW YOU SON OF A BITCH!” I’ve never seen a demon possessed woman before except for maybe Ghostbusters, or The Exorcist, but if demon possession is real, I think I’m seeing it right now for the very first time.
I’m nodding without saying any words and grabbing towels off the shelf in her bathroom to help prepare. I roll a few towels together and place them behind Tatum’s head and then lay several over the puddle on her floor between her legs.
“I-I-I-don’t know what to do, Tatum, but I’m here, okay? I’m fucking here. I’ll catch the baby. Whatever you need.” I’m squatting down between her legs as if I’m about to catch a football. “God, please don’t be too slippery. Do not drop this baby. Why haven’t I been carrying grip gloves for the past month?” I shake my head. “No, I’ve got this. I can do it.”
“Dex!”
My head snaps up. “What?”
“Call 9-1-1 and tell them I’m having a fucking baby!”
“Right. Yes. Okay.”
“AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
She’s screaming.
This is happening.
With shaky hands, I grab my phone from my pocket and push the appropriate buttons for the 9-1-1 operator.
“9-1-1. What is your emergency?”
Above Tate’s screams I shout into my phone, “She’s having a fucking baby right here in her bathroom. Send help!”
“Okay Sir. Where are you located?”
“Belford apartment complex in Archer Heights. Apartment eight!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DEX IT’S COMING!” she screams. “OH SHIT, IT HURTS! IT HURTS!”
“I know, baby. I’m right here, okay? Oh…God. Is that? Oh…ew…God…Fucking hell!”
“DEX!”
“You’re doing great. They’re going to send someone.” I squeeze my eyes closed and shout, “Please God, send someone!”
“An ambulance is on its way, Sir, but don’t hang up. I’m going to talk you through this.”
“IT’S COMING! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! DEX I HAVE TO PUUUUUSH!”
She bears down, her face scrunching as she pushes with all her might. Her legs are spread wide in front of me and oh, my God!
“The baby’s head! I see it! It’s coming!” I shout into the phone.
“Okay, Sir, do you have some clean cloth or towels around you?”
“Y-y-yes! Towels! I have towels! Oh God this is…this is bloody! And shit…what is that?”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DEEEEEX”
She pushes again and I watch in both horror and amazement as our child slides out with ease. “Tatum, it’s our baby! You’re doing it! It’s almost out!”
The lady on the phone says to me, “Don’t pull on anything, Sir, alright? Let Mama do her thing. Is everyone doing okay so far?”
“Uhh…” I glance up at Tatum and my heart breaks for her. She looks like she’s in more pain than any hockey injury could ever give me. She’s a sweaty mess and the fear and panic in her eyes is enough to make me want to stop the world from turning so she can get through this ordeal in peace. “There’s a lot of umm…fluid…some blood, and the baby looks…”
Good God.
Fuck. My eyes are wet.
I think I’m crying.
“It’s beautiful.”
“DEX!”
With one hand on my child and the other on Tatum’s leg, I squeeze ever so slightly to encourage her to keep going. “You can do this, Tate. One more and it’s out. One more little push, okay?”
She nods with a long painful groan and then pushes once more, causing the baby to slide all the way out and into my waiting hands.
“I’ve got it! I’ve got it! I’ve got it!!”
“Great job,” the operator says. “Is the baby crying, Sir?”
Panting, Tatum looks on with a smile that quickly falters. “Dex, why isn’t it crying?”
“Sir, I want you to put the baby on Mom’s chest, okay? Mom, I want you to rub the baby’s back.”
Tatum lies back on her towels and I place the baby, still connected to her, on her chest, both of us rubbing its back, its legs, and its arms. It feels like minutes go by but I’m sure it’s only seconds before the baby starts crying and the both of us release huge sighs of relief. Tatum starts to sob and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t crying right along with her.
“There’s that beautiful sound. Great job, Mom and Dad,” the operator tells us. “As long as Mom and baby are okay, let’s make sure baby is warm and covered with a towel or blanket or shirt and your ambulance is just a few minutes away. I’m going to stay on the line until they get there, okay?”
“Thank you. Yes. That’s great. Thank you.” I hastily pull off my shirt and cover our baby, wanting to keep it as warm as possible.
“You guys did great. Is this your first child?”
“Yes,” we both say.
“Well, this will be a great story for you to tell one day. Did you have a little boy or a little girl?”
“Oh fuck, I forgot to look.” I glance at Tatum who slowly lifts the baby up so she can see and beams back at me with more tears flowing down her cheeks.
“It’s a girl, Dex. We had a girl.”
The operator congratulates us once again and my emotions are all over the place.
A girl.
I’m a dad.
To a little girl.
Holy fuck. I’m a dad.
Tatum.
My eyes land on her serene face as she coos calmly to our baby in her arms and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful thing. I lean over and kiss our newborn daughter’s head and then kiss Tatum’s forehead.
“I’m so damn proud of you, Tate. Look at you. You did it.”
“We did it,” she says, but I shake my head.
“No. Babe, you did this. You did it all and I…I never thought I would ever want to be a dad, but…God. Thank you.” Tears slip down my cheeks because fuck it. I can’t keep my emotions in check. “Thank you for this.”
Hearing the EMS crew near the front door, I call for them so they know where we are and then I step back so they can do their thing.
Taking care of my girls.
My girls.
Tatum and, “My little Tater Tot.”