Before I Rise

Em’s POV

I looked at the two different flavored jams that were sitting in front of me, trying to decide which one to use. I personally like the blackberry flavor instead of the grape one. It just never tasted right to me.

“Which one do you think she’ll want?” I finally asked Jules, who was currently standing on the other side of the counter cutting up some apples.

Julie looked at the two flavors for a few seconds, silently debating which one would be the one to get us through the door.

“I think she prefers grape instead of blackberries. Besides, who eats blackberry jam on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” A little shudder went through Jules body before she went back to cutting the apples.

I instantly frowned at her. “Me, that’s who. I don’t like grape flavoring, it doesn’t even taste like the real thing.” I dug my knife into the jam and spread it on one slice of the bread before placing it on top of the one that had chunky peanut butter.

“All done! Do you think I should grab some juice or a water bottle for her?”

“Yeah, maybe grab both. That way she has options.”

I quickly poured her some apple juice and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge before placing the sandwich on a plate.

“Do you think this will actually work?” I asked Julie.

Julie let out a long tired sigh. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I just think at this point, we have to try to get her to open up to us. She’s locked herself in her room for over a week now and won’t talk to anyone, which is so unlike Alicia. Something serious must be going on.”

I nodded my head in agreement. Though she has been going on patrol with Marcus the past few days, she immediately locks herself in her room when patrol is over. She doesn’t even join the pack for meals anymore. Marcus told me last night that she doesn’t talk to him unless it has something to do with patrolling. Once I told Julie that, we decided we needed to intervene. We were determined to get past her bedroom door, that’s why we were making her favorite snack for her.

“What if she still doesn’t let us through, or even open the door to talk to us?” I asked Julie, curious to see if she had a back up plan.

“Then we shove our way through. And if that doesn’t work, then we camp outside her bedroom door all night long.” Julie said while placing the apples on the plate. “Okay, all finished. Can you think of anything we need to add?” She asked me.

I shook my head, “No. I think that’s it. Are you ready?”

“Let’s do this!” Julie fist bumped me before grabbing the plate and walking out of the kitchen.

I grabbed the drinks and walked quickly to catch up to her. My legs were screaming in protest, but I was trying to ignore them. Alexis decided to up our running time to a solid hour. I think Jules and I both contemplated murder. I swear Alexis was getting a kick out of torturing us. Though I can’t necessarily complain since I’m already feeling slightly stronger than before she started training us. It may be hell, but I had a feeling it would be worth it in the end. It also helped that at the end of training, both Jacoby and Marcus would carry us home. We didn’t even have to ask anymore, they just always showed up.

“Are you going to knock or do you want me too?” I whispered to Julie as we arrived at Alicia’s bedroom door.

“I don’t think it’s going to matter.” She said as she took a deep breath in before knocking on the door.

We waited for a few seconds to see if she would open it. When she didn’t, Julie knocked louder and longer.

“I know you’re in there! Better let us in before I get Jacoby or Marcus to bust down the door. Better yet, Em and I will bust the door ourselves!” We both held our breaths, trying to see if we could hear anything from the other side of the door.

Jules and I both looked at each other, unsure exactly what to do.

“Come on Alicia, we made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some apple slices. I also have apple juice and water for you. Please open up, we miss you terribly and we just want to make sure you’re okay.” I called out to her, hoping she would open up, but she didn’t.

“Here take this, I’ve had enough of this.” Julie said as she handed me the plate of food. She took a few steps back and got into a runners position. “Okay that’s it, you’ve given us no choice. I’m breaking down the door on the count of three! One… Two… Thr…”

“What are you guys doing?” Jules and I both jumped in fright before turning around to where the voice was coming from.

There, standing in all her beauty, was our best friend holding a laundry basket. She looked normal, except for the dark bags under her puffy eyes.

“We came to check on you and bring some food. We thought you were ignoring us so we were going to bust down your door.” I confessed to her. It took every bit of will power I had not to throw the plate of food on the ground and pull her into my arms. I could just tell by looking at her, how sad she was.

Alicia’s lips began to quiver and tears started to spill over onto her freckled cheeks.

“You… You guys were? That means so much to me.” She said as she began to sob silently.

My heart was breaking watching my strong, independent best friend fall apart. Seeing that reminded me that even the strongest people, can sometimes break.

Julie immediately grabbed the laundry basket and sat it on the ground, before pulling Alicia into a tight embrace. We all stood there for a few minutes, before Julie pulled back from the hug.

“We’re here for you Alicia. If you want to talk about it you can, or Em and I can just sit with you and hold your hand. Whatever you need we’ll do, but we aren’t going to leave you alone anymore.”

Alicia rubbed her eyes and picked up the laundry basket. “I think I’m ready to talk about it.”

Jules and I walked into Alicia’s bedroom right behind her. She sat the laundry basket down by her closest before sitting on the bed. As soon as she sat down, I handed the plate and drinks to her. She sat all three down on her bedside table.

“It’s grape jelly, your favorite.” I said, as I picked up the plate and handed it back to her. “You need to eat Alicia, you don’t have to eat it all but at least try to eat some.”

Alicia sighed before finally taking the plate from me and grabbing the sandwich. Jules sat down next to Alicia while I sat at the foot of the bed.

She took a few minutes to eat the sandwich before finally clearing her throat.

“Well, I guess I’ll just come out and say it. Alpha Alexis is my mate and she has made it extremely clear that there is no way in hell she’ll accept me as her mate.” She said, as she began to cry again.

Jules and I both looked at each other in shock, not sure what to say to Alicia. Part of me wasn’t all that surprised, considering the weird interaction they had during our time in the safety room. However, I wasn’t sure if that was the case and didn’t want to assume anything until Alicia herself told me. I felt slightly guilty that Jules and I were having Alexis train us. I wondered if Alicia felt betrayed in a way.

“Goddess Alicia, I am so sorry.” Jules said, as she pulled Alicia back into her arms. Alicia let out a heart breaking sound before sobbing harder. I saw a couple of tears run down Jules’ face as she rubbed Alicia’s back.

I, however, didn’t feel like crying. I was pissed. I felt like finding that Alpha and kicking her ass on the behalf of my best friend.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. “I am so sorry Alicia. I thought maybe that was what was going on, but I just didn’t want to over step in case it was something else.” I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s okay. I needed time alone to process how I felt about it all.”

“When did you find out?” Jules asked her.

“The day the rouges showed up. I went to Em’s room to make sure she could get somewhere safe. I guess Alexis had the same thought because she was there when I showed up. I opened the door and bam, it hit me like a freight train. She ended up kissing me in the safe room and she freaked out on me. I tried talking to her afterwards, but all she said was that she wasn’t ever going to be interested and I should just move on. I just don’t understand why she won’t even try with me. Am I really that awful?”

Alicia began to sob again, her whole body was shaking as her heart broke. Jules and I locked eyes with each other, both of us held the same look on our faces. It was the look of pure rage.

“Um… Alicia, we should probably tell you something.” Jules said, as her face turned from rage to straight up guilty.

“What?” Alicia asked while sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Um… I sort of asked Alexis to train Jules and I in self defense. She agreed and we’ve been working every day with her. We are both very sorry. If we had known, I would have never asked her to help us. I mean I thought there was a small chance that she was your mate, but I wasn’t sure. If it makes you uncomfortable in any way, I can ask someone else to help us!” I explained to her, hoping she wouldn’t hate Julie and I.

Alicia sighed and tucked some loose hair behind her ear. “I already know guys. Marcus said something to me a few days ago. In fact, he asked if I wanted to join you guys. I just told him I wasn’t feeling up to it. But, I have no problem with it. I get why you guys are doing it and I know Marcus is happy that you’re doing it, Em.”

Jules and I both instantly relaxed when hearing that. However, we both were still angry and hurt for our best friend.

“She really won’t talk to you?” I asked her.

She shook her head, “No. I’ve really tried to get her too. But each time I do, she simply walks away or snaps at me. A few days ago I tried again, and that’s when she told me she wasn’t interested. I feel like every time she tells me no or avoids me, that my heart is getting ripped out of my chest. I just… I just don’t know what to do or how to fix this?”

“Do you want us to say anything to her? Do you think that would help?” Jules asked her.

“I don’t know. I honestly think she’s pretty set on not taking a mate.”

I rubbed my face in frustration. I slightly understood what Alicia was going through. When I first met Marcus, he wasn’t very warm to the idea of me being his mate. However, he was never this extreme. I never realized how lucky I was that he quickly adjusted to the idea.

“What if we get Marcus to talk to her? It may help, since they were kind of in the same boat.” I suggested, hoping she would say yes. I wouldn’t say anything to Marcus unless I had Alicia’s permission.

Alicia shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe, but what if it makes it worse? What if she gets mad at me for telling Marcus?”

“That’s easy, I’ll tell him. That way if she gets pissed, you can simply tell her I told him. I dare her to come and confront me about it.” I said with a death glare.

Alicia’s mouth slightly lifted up at the side, almost forming a smile.

“I’ve never seen you look so serious before.” She said.

“I’m usually not, but nobody messes with my best friend and gets away with it. Plus, she runs Jules and I to the ground during training. It would be nice to finally let out some pent up aggression towards her.”

I also wasn’t going to mention the fact that this wasn’t my first time feeling this way nor was it the first time I would be going toe to toe with an Alpha. I think I held my own the last time I did and Jensen hasn’t tried to talk to me since he’s been here.

“Are you sure?” Alicia asked me.

I nodded my head. “I’m sure. Just trust me on this. Trust the both of us.” I said as I nodded my head towards Jule’s direction.

“Thank you guys for checking up on me. It means a lot.”

“Hey, when was the last time we all had a girls night? Do you want to watch a movie and do face masks? I’ll let you pick out the movie.” Julie said, as she grabbed the remote to the TV and handed it to Alicia.

“That honestly sounds amazing! I really need a girls night.”

“I’ll go get popcorn and drinks, you two pick out a movie.” I climbed off the bed and quickly ran out of the room.

As I was walking to the kitchen, I thought about everything Alicia said. I knew I needed to speak to Marcus at some point about it, however I was tempted to confront Alexis myself. Marcus already had a full plate with trying to figure out this rogue problem, I didn’t want to add anything else to it. Maybe it was time I tap into that badass side that I have and square off with another Alpha.