Back and Stronger: Alpha's Daughter

It’s been just about two weeks since Sophia had first arrived at Neil and Scott’s apartment, and the three of them living together had already fallen into something of a routine and a different living arrangement for each of them.

It had certainly been different and an adjustment for Sophia, given where she’d come from, what she’d been used to, and what had happened to her. Readjusting to a luxurious new bed and room, especially not getting punished each night, and eating regular and fulfilling meals have undoubtedly not been difficult in the least.

However, it was uncomfortable, and yeah, maybe a bit hard at times, to get used to living with two strong males around here the whole time. Many times Sophia had to reason with her irrational mind, screaming at her that she was in danger there, that any one of them could come into her room and do whatever they wanted to her.

But the other part of her that could think more clearly about the reality of her situation and the two men, would reassure that part that Neil and Scott would never do what Matthew did to her. She just knew it in her gut, but sometimes the panic in her core would still rise up and overpower her.

It was still a work in progress, but her reasoning side had improved and gotten stronger though, she thought, along with the increasing strength and health of her body have doubtlessly been a tremendous help.

This new living arrangement, Neil and Scott had said it was until she graduated from high school so she could find her feet. Find her feet where? How? In what way exactly?

It wasn’t like she could go anywhere without running the risk of being recognized, even if they had been able to get her a new identity, her new name and backstory didn’t change anything. It wasn’t like she could go and apply for a job and not run the risk of her being caught out and be taken right back to her father.

After everything, Sophia would simply be placed back into his malevolent hands, and not to mention that of Matthew’s as he was her mate, after all, he had as much of a claim to her as her father did. All of this getting used to living and thinking past a trauma that had forever changed her, and disrupting her two saviors’ lives completely, would all have been for nothing. For zip. For nada.

Just thinking about that demon still sent ice-cold arrows shooting down her spine, and filled her with shame and an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Even though Sophia felt like she had mended somewhat by this time, she would still feel violently repulsed thinking about how she must have looked half-naked and screaming when Neil and Scott had found her. What they must have been thinking of her…

This was about the time her rational brain would jump in and tell her that they didn’t care about what she looked like then, that their only concern had been to help her and get her out of there. And it would go on reminding her that she hadn’t done anything wrong, it wasn’t like she chose to get raped so brutally, so she shouldn’t have to feel shame and guilt for her suffering. But it remained an ever-present struggle, nonetheless. Her attempts at being reasonable and objective wouldn’t always win the battle.

Other than her body having healed fully within a few days of the incident, her psychological healing was understandably going to take considerably longer. Sophia knew this, accepted it even, but it was still frustrating to her that she couldn’t shake that horrible and constant feeling that her neck, chest and her stomach each had a permanent noose around them, which would tighten its dreadful pressure on her everywhere every so often.

Especially when her mind caught her off guard and would flood her conscious thoughts with unwanted images. Those hateful ice-blue eyes. That terrible sneer. Those repulsive hands. It would all play and replay. Over and over again.

Sophia could tell that the claustrophobic feeling of a panic attack was rising within her again at that moment, as it had a few times during these two weeks, but mostly she’d been able to stop it before it fully surfaced.

She remembered the other night when she had a really bad one after she’d woken up from a night terror, which had Matthew in it again. She cringed as she recalled how she’d screamed in pure terror and how Neil busted through the door with his eyes lethal and ready to kill, but softened and hardened at the same time when he had realized what had really been happening.

She hated seeing him so helpless, so desperately wanting to help her but not daring to touch her. He had stayed with her though, sitting on the side of the bed until she’d fallen asleep again.

He’d been very kind and attentive to her needs this whole time Sophia had been living with them, but she couldn’t help but feel that there was something different about him. Neil had definitely been more brooding, angrier, more frustrated and she had definitely felt he was retreating more and more into what she could only describe as a reserved shell of detachment.

It was driving Sophia crazy trying to figure out why he’d started acting that way, but she couldn’t help feeling that it was in a way exactly what she did when dealing with the outside world got a bit too much for her to handle. She would also cut herself off so she wouldn’t feel her emotions too strongly.

Maybe she appeared to others as though she was barely there too. Maybe she also looked like something of an empty vessel walking around the place…

As Sophia jumped up too quickly from the dining table, where she’d been sitting doing her homeschool work, Sophia did this in an attempt to in a way shock the coming panic attack away from her. She would usually do or think of something different suddenly when she employed this tactic. In the past two weeks, it had been the most effective one she could come up with.

This time, unthinkingly jumping up from the table, she almost made the chair crash to the floor. But she caught it just in time – the panic attack all but forgotten when she worried about breaking their chair, or making a ruckus.

Her reflexes had been improving a little as well, Sophia had noticed, and in this case it saved her from another angry or irritated look from Neil at least as he simply glanced over at her sudden movements with empty interest in his eyes. But like always, he drew his gaze away again too soon, returning his attention to the laptop screen he’d been staring at for what felt like hours now.

This has been going on for a while now, and the reason for a significant part of her frustration levels. Neil would not only avoid looking at her, but he would hardly speak to her either anymore.

Though she hadn’t really cared about this before, as she thought he might simply have been acting strange given that he wanted to be careful around her, but he had only been getting worse.

Sophia had even asked Scott about it when Neil had gone out one night, and he just simply told her that he was a very complicated person and that all he could tell her was that he was dealing with some things that weren’t her fault. He’d reminded her that she shouldn’t take it personally, but that was certainly easier said than done.

How could she not take it personally when he sometimes looked at her with irritation, like she was an inconvenience to him? Or was Sophia simply jumping to conclusions and seeing things that weren’t there? Was she being over sensitive?

Even as she reacted by giving him more space, studying and doing her school work in her – or his – room for most of the day, it still didn’t seem to improve his mood.

This had led to her feeling that maybe that was the point. Maybe he was angry with her because she had practically come along and kicked him out of his own room. Was that what bothered him? Sleeping on the couch each night instead of his cozy bed must have been what was making him resent her, or at least played a big part in it.

Another reason she thought contributed to the cold shoulder he’d been giving her, was that she had also messed up their lives completely. Sophia could tell that both men got anxious having to spend so much time in the house. They were basically forced into hiding with her and she would usually feel guilty and responsible for it whenever they would express their frustrations of being so cooped up.

They would go for very early morning runs together at least, and when either one had to go out for supplies they would normally go out at night to stores that were usually open until late. And since winter had been bringing colder and colder nights, they were at least able to put a beanie on their heads and wrap a scarf around the mouth and nose to cover their faces without it making them look suspicious.

But another thing that concerned Sophia was that either or both Neil and Scott would go out just about each night for other reasons as well. Reasons they seemed reluctant to share with her, coming up with half assed explanations like simply patrolling the area or going to go and help out a friend.

What friend needs them to show up armed to the teeth? Was usually what she wondered, but never asked out loud.

Sophia didn’t want to feel like a nag or keep making them uncomfortable each time she asked where they were going, so she’d stopped asking all together, but it still bothered her. It worried her a lot seeing Neil or Scott leave each time, with grim looks on their faces no less, which only made Sophia worry more, not knowing whether she would see them again come morning.

Although there were many concerns and plenty of awkward moments, especially between her and Neil, they had their happy and laughing moments as well. It certainly was never boring living with two grown men that tended to act like young boys from time to time.

Like when watching them playing video games. They would excitedly go off on each other, or say the funniest things that she found impossible not to laugh at, as well as along with them. They had even let her play a few times herself, but since they only had first-person shooting games, and after finding out that her aiming skills with a tiny joystick sucked big time, she was just content to watch from then on.

Another entertainment aspect of her stay there that Sophia found she always looked forward to, was when they shifted all the furniture in the living room against the walls, and then they would lay out a big mat with a yellow circle drawn on it. They did this when they wanted to keep their skills sharp and would spar with one another often.

They did all kinds of maneuvers, usually so quick that she wouldn’t even see how Neil got a hold on Scott, or how Scott got out of one, but all she knew was that she enjoyed watching them. Whether they played or trained, it was truly amusing and she would even end up cheering or clapping her hands at the appropriate times.

She found that she was mostly on Scott’s side, as she’d grown quite close to him due to Neil’s indifference toward her most of the time. Was that maybe why he was acting the way he did? Sophia honestly didn’t know what to think anymore.

But seeing the camaraderie and their clear fondness for one another in the powerful friendship the two male shifters shared, she would feel her heart ache each time.

They were like brothers in every sense of the word, and it made Sophia miss her own brother. How she wished Leo could have been there with her. She just knew that he would have loved spending time with the guys, playing and sparring with them too.

But on the other hand, she was also glad that he wasn’t, because she wouldn’t have been able to bear it if he also knew what had happened to her. It would have broken him, especially if he’d seen the state of her just only last week. It would have broken her if she had to face him too each day while she fought to keep the heavy darkness at bay. She saw how it got to Neil a lot of times, so no, she didn’t want Leo to have to see her like this.

At least she has been getting news of her little brother every second day or so. Thanks to Neil and Scott being friends with another ‘security guard’ at the middle school. They had an arrangement with him to keep an eye on Leo Tibald at school, and report on anything and everything he saw. He would then call every second day or so to report what he’d seen.

At least Leo seemed to not know what had happened to her. Thank the Goddess! Although this friend-security-guard of theirs had said that her brother appeared to be worried and distracted for a few days after her disappearance, he soon started going to school looking a lot happier.

Sophia had wondered if her father hadn’t told him some lie to make him stop asking questions maybe, but she was just glad that his life didn’t seem to have been affected. She so badly wanted to get a message to him, but the less he knew the better.

Sophia had even specifically asked if it had looked like Leo had any cuts or bruises on him, just in case, and the guys had exchanged sad looks, knowing what concerns she had for her brother, as they’d seen it on her own skin at school. When reports kept coming back that he hadn’t had any signs of physical abuse, she felt unending relief each time.

She had smiled and felt her heart ache when they told her that it looked like her little brother seemed to be dating a beautiful girl his age, she immediately knew that it was Bella! She felt elated that things had worked out for them.

She remembered how Neil gazed at her curiously when she’d started crying when she’d heard this good news. He must have thought she was being a typical female, but she didn’t care what he thought of her then.

Even though Neil had been acting odd and pushing her away, she could still tell that he cared and that he was kind, which she knew was what was most important. But his emotional detachedness toward her was disconcerting, and she unfailingly tried to ignore it and how it made her feel.

Scott, however, seemed to always be the mediator they needed to actually talk or look at one another. He truly was like a breath of fresh air with that characteristic lightness about him, as though he hadn’t a concern in the world. His whole attitude was the opposite to that of Neil’s, certainly a lot less brooding, that was for sure!

Scott had a way about him that helped her forget about her problems and just enjoy talking to him. Even the food he loved cooking for them was the best she’d ever had.

Other than that, Sophia had found him to be surprisingly sophisticated, strong willed, authentic, compassionate and amazingly charismatic. These were all things she hadn’t even been able to hint at before she started living with them and gotten to know him a bit better.

Sophia had surprised herself when she impossibly thought that he would make the best Alpha any pack would be lucky to have if he was given half a chance.

And for some reason, she had a feeling that such a possibility wouldn’t be too far-fetched. In fact, she could already see the pack flourishing and happier than ever under his rule within her mind’s eye.

Maybe it wasn’t such an impossibility after all.