Awake At Dawn (Wildflower Series Book 2)

“WHAT IF SOMEONE recognizes you?”

Gemma hadn’t stopped talking or asking me questions since we left the apartment.

“Oh my God,” she groaned. “What if they think you knocked me up? It’s going to be all over the media and⁠—”

“No one is going to recognize me,” I said reassuringly while throwing my hoodie up over the ball cap I was already sporting. She walked a few paces ahead of me on our way into the clinic as if that small distance would lead people to believe we didn’t know each other. “No one will be paying any attention to us. Except, of course, your doctor.”

“Oh, Noah, you don’t have to come in with me,” she rushed on to say, glancing over her shoulder with wide eyes.

I gritted my teeth, annoyed at her persistent attitude of not wanting to bother me. Going with her to the doctor didn’t bother me. If it had bothered me, I wouldn’t have insisted on coming. What bothered me was how there was no one else to do it.

Besides, when Julian finally discovered that his sister was pregnant and that I knew about it, he’d only kick my ass harder if I left her to do all this herself. She shouldn’t have to be here on her own. I was only doing what he would.

“If I don’t come in with you, there’s a higher chance that someone will recognize me and connect the dots about why I might be sitting in the waiting room at the OB-GYN,” I pointed out, thinking she couldn’t argue with that.

Then again, I’d learned recently that Gemma Briggs and I didn’t agree on a lot of things. She thought it was smart to keep her pregnancy from her brother. I thought it would come back to bite all of us in the ass. She thought we shouldn’t try to get Silas Taylor fired. I thought that was only the start of what we should be doing. She thought I didn’t need to worry about how she could barely keep food down. I thought we needed to bring that up to the doctor. She thought I needed to mind my own business a little more.

She was probably right about that.

But again, my ass was dead if I didn’t make sure someone was taking care of Gemma. And that someone was going to be me.

Gemma halted and turned around. “This was a bad idea. Maybe you should just wait in the car.”

“I’m not waiting in the fucking car.” I bristled. “How will I know you actually went to your appointment then?”

“I don’t know, maybe you’ll just have to believe me.”

She scowled at me, and I glared back.

At least today, she wore a loose-fitting sundress that fell below her knees. It was nice being able to look at her without risking a hard-on, unlike the other day when she walked into the gym wearing a spandex set that was designed to destroy me from the inside out. Not to mention when she came out of her room this morning in the tiniest pajama shorts that had me imagining things I had absolutely no business imagining.

Living with Gemma Briggs would be damaging to my sanity—that much, I was sure of.

The squeal of tires echoing in the parking garage was the only interruption as we faced off. Determination flashed in her gaze as she realized I wasn’t backing down. It came as absolutely no surprise that Gemma had a streak of stubbornness, considering who she had as an older brother. But what did surprise me was the vulnerability that leaked into her expression as our eyes remained locked.

“Noah, please,” she whispered after a beat of silence. She twisted her hands in front of her, a ball of nervous energy. But while her body fidgeted, her words fell slowly from her mouth—like she was reluctant to let them out. “I just…I need to do this.”

I didn’t like it, but I held up my hands as a sign of defeat. “Fine, I’ll stay in the waiting room.”

“The car,” she argued. “If someone sees⁠—”

“The car,” I agreed before she could work herself back up. It clearly made her anxious to be seen in public with me, and I wasn’t here to cause her more stress. “I’ll be in the car.”

She nodded wordlessly.

It was my cue to leave, but my feet didn’t budge. It seemed impossible—mean, cruel, uncaring—to walk away when Gemma’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. I stepped forward. Awkwardly, I might add, even though I’d never been awkward around women before. But I’d certainly never been in this kind of situation before, either. And I had no fucking clue how to navigate it.

Gemma didn’t leave me many options; as soon as I moved closer, she retreated, backing toward the clinic.

“Do you want me to call Juniper?” I asked hoarsely because she looked like she wished someone would swoop in and save her from doing this alone. And she clearly didn’t want it to be me.

I mean, why would she? I could hardly blame her for that.

Her eyes bugged out as she shook her head in immediate refusal. Still no words, though.

I lifted my hands again—another show of defeat. “Okay. Then…I guess just call me if you need anything.”

She gave me another nod before ducking her head and hurrying into the hospital. Sighing, I retraced my steps and did precisely what I told her I would.

I waited in my car.

I couldn’t wait in my car any longer.

Rationally, I should have left. I should have gone anywhere, done anything but stay in this parking garage. After all, someone could spot me. But I couldn’t get myself to drive away, not when I was the only person Gemma might call if she needed anything right now.

It had been well over an hour, and while I didn’t know from experience how long it took to confirm a pregnancy, I figured Gemma had to be wrapping up her appointment soon.

I fought the urge to text her and ask for an update, but Gemma had already convinced herself she was a burden, and I didn’t want to fuel that fire anymore. Yes, I was impatient, but not because I minded waiting. I was just anxious to hear how it was going.

I had half a mind to go in there and find out, but I’d never figure out exactly where she was in the maze of exam rooms. And considering I wasn’t the father of the baby nor related to her, I was sure no one would tell me if I asked.

Mostly, I hoped she was okay.

Fuck, of course she wasn’t okay. In fact, it was a miracle just how “okay” Gemma had been acting since moving into my apartment. I suspected there was a lot she tried to hide, but still.

Sighing, I drummed my fingers on the wheel of my Audi to keep them from picking up my phone and texting Gemma. I was about to finally give in when I heard the buzz.

SHE’S JULIAN’S SISTER, NOAH: I’m sorry it’s taking so long. I can get myself home. It looks like it’s only a twenty-minute walk.

I bit down on a foolish, silly grin at Gemma referring to my apartment as home and then immediately frowned when I fully comprehended what she was saying.

You’re not walking home, Gemma.

SHE’S JULIAN’S SISTER, NOAH: I don’t want to make you wait. I know how impatient you are.

Of course she was trying to use my own words against me. And I didn’t even have it in me to find it amusing.

I had to remind myself that Gemma grew up in a big family like me. I understood the ingrained sense of urgency, of ensuring you never take too much time. From sharing one bathroom between five siblings to sharing our parents between Little League games and recitals, it was a balance I knew all too well.

But Gemma didn’t have to share me. I didn’t have anywhere else I needed to be today, and the only one waiting for me or counting on me was Winnie.

I don’t mind waiting. Are you still in your appointment?

SHE’S JULIAN’S SISTER, NOAH: I’m just finishing some stuff. Be right out.

My frown deepened because she didn’t really answer my question. But sure enough, a few minutes after she texted me, Gemma tapped on the windshield, and I unlocked the car so she could get in. She kept her head down, letting her long hair shield her face as she buckled herself into the car.

And that’s when I heard the sniffle.

“Sorry it took so long.” Her voice was thick, sounding stuck in her throat, and my heart sank.

“You don’t need to apologize, Gemma. I just started to worry.”

“I already told you not to worry about me,” she murmured, looking out the window while continuing to hide her face from me.

I took a deep breath as I pulled out of my parking spot, knowing I needed to choose my next words carefully. Gemma didn’t talk as I maneuvered out of the parking garage, and the silence grew nearly unbearable until I broke it.

“Gemma…who knows you’re pregnant?”

She hesitated, and I caught her wiping her face out of the corner of my eye.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, besides the asshat athletic director and myself, who knows that you’re pregnant?”

Gemma finally showed me her eyes as they flicked over to me, a look of devastation in them. It nearly gutted me. “No one.”

I nodded, expecting that response. Didn’t mean I liked it, though.

“Gemma, I know I’m not the person you wanted to tell about this. I know I’m not the guy you wanted to be supportive. I know I can’t fill the shoes of your best friend. I know I’m not your first choice or anywhere near it…but I’m the one who’s here. And I’m going to worry about you whether you like it or not.”

Gemma slowly pushed her hair out of her face, revealing how blotchy and red her usually pale, slightly freckled skin was. Tired-looking eyes blinked at me. Wet lashes clumped together.

“I didn’t want to cry in front of you,” she whispered.

I gave her another nod, acknowledging that I understood. I understood it from the moment she refused to look me in the eye when she’d never shied away from meeting my gaze before. She usually met it straight on—unless she was hiding something.

Or trying to, anyway.

“You know, I would have been more surprised if you hadn’t cried,” I said honestly. “That’s why I wanted to go to the appointment with you. In case…” I sighed, not sure where I was going with this. “Never mind.”

I was well aware that my personality didn’t exactly scream comfort. Not many women had cried on these shoulders. People didn’t come to me for that kind of thing, so it wasn’t surprising that Gemma didn’t want me to join her for the appointment.

Gemma readjusted, twisting her body to acknowledge me again, and I felt the heat of her eyes as they landed on my side profile. I tried to focus on the road, not sure if I could handle the abrupt switch to being on the receiving end of all that Gemma Briggs’ attention.

“I knew this would happen,” she said, her voice still soft. “I knew going to the doctor would make it feel real. I think that’s why I’ve been avoiding it.”

I squeezed the steering wheel tighter. “I’m sorry if I pushed you to feel it too soon.”

“No, I needed the push,” she admitted, and I glanced over, noting how her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “And I suppose the worry isn’t so bad, either.” A heavy sigh punctuated the otherwise still air. “Just try not to emulate my brother so much.”

A harsh laugh flew out of me, except it wasn’t funny. Not really. A lump formed in my throat, and it was my turn to swallow past it. Sure, I’d taken on Julian’s overprotective role in his absence…but I didn’t have one single brotherly thought about Gemma Briggs.

Not. One.

“How does ice cream sound?” I asked, needing a change in topic. How embarrassing that I was using the same tactic I did with my eight-year-old niece. That showed how little I knew about connecting with women I didn’t want to sleep with.

Correction: connecting with women I wasn’t planning on sleeping with.

Unfortunately.

But Gemma didn’t sound fazed. “Ice cream sounds great, actually. But be aware that I might throw it up later.”

I bit down on my tongue, wanting to ask if she talked to her doctor about how sick she had been lately. But instead, I said, “Scoopies has Moose Tracks. I think the risk is worth it.”

“Scoopies?” she laughed.

“It’s the ice cream shop Lo and I always go to,” I said, my lips curving into a grin as I looked over at her. A similar smile flitted onto her face, too, putting me at ease.

“Well, if Chloe approves, then count me in.”

With that settled, I turned at the next intersection, rerouting for ice cream. I took my time, driving a few blocks out of the way to give Gemma a few more minutes to wipe at her eyes before parking in front of Scoopies.

I wasn’t in a hurry. And I wanted her to know exactly how much I wasn’t in a hurry. I had time for her, and she deserved that time. So after buying her two scoops of Moose Tracks, I led Gemma to a sunny spot on the patio. I didn’t care how quickly my ice cream would melt sitting here; I fully planned to take my goddamn time eating it.

“I needed this,” she said before licking her spoon clean a second time. “Thank you.”

I cleared my throat, attempting to ignore how her tongue flicked over the tip of the spoon.

“Everyone needs ice cream every now and then,” I agreed. My voice sounded hoarse as fuck, and I decided to blame it on my low water intake today and not the seductive way Gemma ate desserts. She licked her lips clean, and I tried so damn hard to look away from her mouth, but my eyes kept dipping to track her movements. Fuck, that mouth of hers. It was going to be a problem. Just her existing so close to me for so many months was going to be a problem, honestly.

“Yeah.” She spoke softly, her bright blue eyes flicking over at me as she pushed her empty dish aside. “Ice cream.”

The way she said those two words told me they weren’t the ones she meant. And I couldn’t help but hope that one day I’d hear all the words Gemma Briggs kept locked inside her head.

Maybe one day she’d trust me enough to let me hold her hand at difficult doctor’s appointments, too.

“When’s your next appointment?” I asked, trying to make my interest sound casual.

“Dr. Amos said I’m nearly eight weeks along right now, and I need to come back in about a month.”

I nodded.

A month.

I had a month to become someone Gemma Briggs trusted so that hopefully her next appointment wouldn’t end in her hiding her tears. Or having any at all.