Awake At Dawn (Wildflower Series Book 2)

I’D SPENT THE last week adjusting to the new normal that was living with Noah London.

For the most part, we stuck to our own spaces while we were home. But there were a few exceptions, including Winnie walks, where Noah taught me everything I’d need to know to puppy sit, and Chloe visits, when I’d come out of my room to hang out with Chloe and Uncle Noah while they waited for Natalie to pick her up.

I wanted Noah to see how seriously I took my side of this arrangement so he could be worry-free when he was out of town this season. Besides, spending time with Chloe and Winnie was not the chore that he was concerned it would be. Living at Noah’s apartment—dog, kid, and hot NFL player combined—had been great.

That didn’t mean I was great, though. The unsettled feeling in my gut had nothing to do with Noah or our living arrangement and a lot to do with the embryo the size of a cucumber seed growing in my belly.

I knew there were things I should be doing to prepare, but I was, for lack of a better word, frozen. The biggest hurdle in this mess had been finding a place to live, and the stress and panic of it had kept me moving. The past few months had been a blur of decision-making that was imminent, and now I felt…lost.

Noah and his offer had given me a sense of stability. I should have been able to breathe, relax, and refocus on my next step. I just couldn’t seem to figure out what that even was. There were so many decisions I needed to make. So many. But they all swam in front of me in an endless stream of consciousness, and I didn’t know which to pick first. On more than one occasion, I’d picked up the phone to call Juni, desperately needing someone to wade through the options with me, but I’d ended up texting about her bachelorette party instead.

She was so happy, so settled. I didn’t want anything to ruin that.

I would be fine. Everything would be fine.

After all, I had a home gym at my disposal that I could use whenever I needed a distraction, which was exactly what I was doing now.

I usually listened to the same playlist while I worked out—a mix of songs from my skating routines over the years. The nostalgia was enough to get my adrenaline going and my blood pumping, but I had to be careful about which memories I pulled from. I didn’t want to think about anything involving St. Maverick’s right now. I didn’t want to think about my skaters. Or about my colleagues, like my friend Kayla, who had posted new skating pictures online from a training she’d gone to. A training I was supposed to have gone to, too.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. And then, luckily, it was wiped blank. Blank.

Because I walked into Noah’s home gym, and for the first time, Noah was in there, too.

And he was sweaty.

And wearing a cutoff shirt that showed so many of his defined muscles, so much of his glistening skin, tanned by the summer sun.

And all of my hormones that had been on overdrive? Oh, they were loving this.

Noah, with two massive dumbbells in hand, immediately caught sight of me in the mirror that covered the entirety of one wall.

And I immediately turned to leave.

“I’ll come back later,” I called over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of Noah dropping his weights, popping off his headphones, and shaking his head.

“You don’t need to do that,” he said between ragged breaths.

Because of course he wasn’t just sweaty and exposed; he was also panting, his chest heaving as he worked to catch his breath.

Biting down on my lip, I spun back around to face him.

To say my body reacted viscerally was an understatement. Noah had to have noticed. But if he picked up on the fact that every inch of me was starting to sweat just by looking at him, he didn’t say anything.

“It’s not a big deal,” I said, wishing my voice didn’t sound so fucking hoarse.

“It’s also not a big deal for you to stay and work out with me,” he tossed back at me.

I raised a brow. “With you?”

“In the same room as me,” he amended dryly, sweeping his gaze down and away from me.

“Of course.” I walked back into the room, trying to brush off my nerves. “I wouldn’t dare try to keep up with the likes of Noah London, New England Knights’ finest, while in the gym.”

He rolled his eyes but still refused to look at me. I glanced at my matching spandex set, wondering if I had a hole in my crotch, but I didn’t notice anything.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Noah chuckled. “I think you could keep up just fine. I saw you handling those heavy boxes like they were filled with air.”

“Your body can do amazing things when given a deadline by your landlord.”

Even though his expression was downcast as he put his weights back on the rack, I could still see how it soured. “I’m still mad you didn’t tell me about that.”

I shrugged as I walked over to the treadmill. “It all worked out.”

Noah was unimpressed with my answer. I caught a glimpse of his scowl before he used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face, giving me a view of his cut abs. My mouth ran dry, and Noah’s next words startled me back into reality.

“From now on, let’s focus on not putting your body through extra stress.” His shirt fell back into place, and somehow, I recovered enough to reply.

“Physical activity is good for pregnancy,” I argued, knowing full well that wasn’t the kind of stress on the body he was talking about. It was the emotional panic he wanted to avoid, which was ironic because I felt stagnant without it.

Noah’s eyes finally lifted to look at me, and then he really looked at me. “It is, huh?”

I nodded because I couldn’t figure out how to talk.

I was usually pretty good with guys. I was good at talking to them, flirting with them, and even dating them on occasion—even though I’d never really had a serious boyfriend.

But there were guys, and then there was Noah London.

“So you don’t have any physical restrictions from the doctor?” he pressed. “You never did answer that question the other day.”

Noah was back to looking at the floor as he walked around the gym, grabbing resistance bands from a hook on the wall. He had to talk louder to be heard over the whirring treadmill I’d started at a walking pace.

I bit the inside of my cheek, knowing I needed to answer his question this time. I couldn’t skirt around it forever. “Well, the internet says I shouldn’t go downhill skiing, horseback riding, or off-road cycling. Lucky for me, I’m too uncoordinated to have any interest in those.”

That wasn’t exactly true. Years on the ice had resulted in excellent coordination, and Noah surely knew it. But I’d rather he argued with me about that than the alternative.

Noah stilled, resistance band in hand. He turned slowly, his eyes narrowing as they settled back on me, and I knew I wouldn’t be so lucky after all.

“Gemma…”

I looked away. I knew where this conversation was going and didn’t want to have it.

But my lack of interest didn’t stop Noah.

“Gemma, have you not seen a doctor yet?”

I shook my head and then increased the speed on the treadmill, intent on drowning out Noah’s question.

He strode over, his expression hard as he leaned against the treadmill. God, he was incredibly hard to ignore. Sweaty and gorgeous and so very close to me. With one of his lightly veined, tattooed arms, he reached over the top of the treadmill and lowered the speed. My eyes traced over the inked images of nature. Flowers mixed with waves of an ocean, all surrounded by evergreen trees. It was a good reminder that even though Noah lived in the middle of a city now, he’d lived in different places and had different roots.

“You can tell me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that kind of important?” he asked, looking up at me.

His brilliant green eyes drilled into the side of my head, and I reluctantly turned to acknowledge him.

“I know I’m pregnant, Noah. I have about fifty home tests and multiple weeks of morning sickness to prove it.”

He nodded patiently, wiping at the sweat that kept dripping from his brow. “Again, I’m not an expert or anything…but I’m pretty sure there are reasons to go to the doctor besides confirming the pregnancy.”

“Well, I had to wait to get my new insurance information after switching jobs,” I explained, throwing out the only real excuse I had. I increased the speed on the treadmill back to where it was before.

“And do you have that information now?”

“Yeah,” I admitted regretfully.

“Then you’re going to the doctor,” Noah confirmed as if he had any say in the matter.

“I was planning on it. I was. There was just a lot going on, and I read online that you just need to go in the first eight weeks, and I don’t think I’m there yet, and…yeah.”

“This week,” Noah insisted, although his expression softened with understanding. “I’ll go with you.”

My mouth momentarily gaped open. “You don’t have to go with me.”

He sighed. “Well, you shouldn’t have to go alone. And since Silas Taylor is useless, and you’re not telling your brother or your best friend, I guess I’ll have to do.”

I blinked at him at least three times before finding my voice. “You know his name?”

Noah shrugged as he went back to his resistance bands. “I looked him up. Wanted to see what the asshat who ran the athletics at St. Maverick’s looked like.”

“Oh?” I couldn’t help the smile that emerged from Noah’s attitude toward Silas, especially considering how much Silas obsessed over the Knights. If only he knew what their star player thought of him. “And what conclusion did you come to?”

“He looks like a guy who doesn’t know how to eat a girl out properly,” Noah said without looking at me, assessing his form in the mirror as he did bicep curls with the band.

“I can confirm that.”

Noah grunted, but I couldn’t tell if it was in response to my comment or because of the heavy weights.

“It’s honestly better off that he’s not interested in being involved in my life,” I added. “I have no interest in experiencing that a second time. I’d rather be single and alone than have anything to do with him.”

“His loss,” he muttered, his eyes meeting me in the reflection of the mirror. His voice sounded clipped, likely because he was in the middle of a set of curls. “And you’re not alone. Especially not for your doctor appointment. I’m coming.”

I didn’t say anything. As much as I knew I should protest him coming, the thought was comforting. Noah possessed a self-assuredness that made decision-making look easy. And that was the type of energy that I needed at the moment. Even just talking to him for a few minutes gave me the direction I had been looking for.

There were a million things I knew I should be doing to prepare for this baby, but now I knew what I’d be doing this week: going to the doctor. One thing at a time, right?

“Do you have a doctor or hospital in mind?” he asked.

I shook my head. The clinic I used to go to was now out of network with my new insurance.

Noah nodded. “Go to Suffolk County Medical Center, then. Nat works at SCMC. She’s said before how good their OB-GYN department is.”

“Okay,” I said, thankful that yet another decision had been magically made for me. Of course, I’d do my own research before actually making an appointment, but this gave me a place to start.

Noah seemed pleased that I was agreeing and went on to rattle off his schedule for the week before saying, “You know what, I’ll just add you to my calendar so you can see for yourself. You should have my season schedule anyway so you know when all my away games are. I’ll need help with Winnie for all of them.”

He gave me an almost sheepish look like he hated to put that on me, even though that was the whole reason I was here. “But it’s harder to say about Chloe. Natalie’s schedule is all over the place, but she did promise she’d come with Chloe to my Minnesota game because the rest of my family will be there. So you don’t have to worry about her for that one.”

I smiled, trying to reassure him that I was ready to help out as much as needed. “That’ll be fun to have your whole family there to watch.”

Noah nodded, a mix of eagerness and anxiety shining in his eyes. “It’ll be great to see everyone. I don’t get home as much as I should.”

“Well, you’re a little busy.”

He shrugged, clearly unwilling to take the excuse. So I raised a brow and added, “You know, I figured you just planned your life around that state fair wall calendar in the bathroom.”

“That’s the preliminary calendar,” he said, suddenly boasting a serious expression I didn’t believe for a minute. “And then when the new month rolls around, I transfer all my events into my phone. I know it’s weird, but it works for me.”

“Noted.”

“My mom always sends me wall calendars,” he added, still serious. “So I have to use them.”

I smiled. “Aw, Noah London is a momma’s boy.”

He didn’t deny it, shrugging, and I laughed.

Noah cocked his head to the side. “What?”

“I just didn’t expect that about you,” I admitted.

“I’m sure there’s a lot of things you didn’t expect about me.” The cocky grin was back. “You’ll just have to try to keep up.”

I considered him for a moment, ignoring how my heartbeat started picking up. It had nothing to do with exercising and everything to do with how he was looking at me.

That, and how he’d promised to go with me to the doctor like it was the most normal thing in the world for two roommates who barely knew each other to do.

“I guess I will.”