Ascension

February 28, 1985

My baby is finally here. I have a son. I decided to name him Naeht, a slight change to the Old Language word for night. As his dark eyes reminded me of a moonless night and the even darker circumstances surrounding his conception. But that didn’t matter now, he was mine and he is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

As I watched Seidon with him, I knew that I had made the right choice for both of us as he would make both a good father and an even better husband. I counted myself lucky to have found him when I did.

I’ve never been religious, but this morning I found myself praying to God or whoever it was up there. I prayed for the preservation of the love that Seidon and I shared, for my son, and our new family. Mostly I prayed for forgiveness as I know that I have done wrong and still am, but I prayed that he would be merciful in His punishment. But if that wasn’t to be the case, if this was the only sin that would send me burning in the underworld, I would happily go there blazing up in the firestorm. At least I would carry all the beautifully sinful memories with me allowing them to give me comfort while I burnt.

R

My recovery was progressing well, as within a few days, I was bending again.

I wasn’t as active though as I spent most of my days on the balcony looking at the waterfall as it disappeared into the awaiting lake.

We returned to Tir na n-Óg with Diego meeting us at the door. No questions were asked and no responses were given, except for a slight nod from Thorn to him. I didn’t know what that meant, but I guess it was an internal understanding formed between them.

A man hunt was now on for my renegade brother-in-law. He was to be brought back dead or alive, but preferably alive. I was sorry for those unlucky enough to be endowed with the task. As they were on the search for any man, woman, or beast, depending on the form that he decided to take.

Seidon was there with us. So that made the days a little easier as I had someone else to talk to. But occasionally, I would slip into silence as I remembered the dark secrets that were written down in a well-hidden, brown book. It made me both sad and happy for him. Sad because he didn’t know and happy for the very same reason.

My parents called a few times. They had taken a vacation and apparently, I was going to have a little niece or nephew soon. I called Min as soon as I was told. She and Jae sounded happy about the news and I congratulated them, as I was happy for their happiness. I could see that they would have their hands full and they didn’t need the extra bother. So I let out nothing that had happened to me. As far as they were concerned I was fine and that Tir na n-Óg was perfect.

I was taken on other tours of the island, like under the lake for instance, to the power station that generated electricity from the waterfall. I got to see where some of the soldiers stayed and I listened to them as they told me about their families. Which not surprisingly, only a few had. Most of the women were out in the world and most of them were stuck working here.

I was never alone anymore, although they weren’t visible to me, I knew that Rain had people trailing my every move. I really didn’t mind it that much. I was relieved by their presence as I was still shaken up from my last kidnapping and I really didn’t like being alone too much.

In all honesty, Tir na n-Óg hadn’t turned out to be a problem at all. The only problem was us. Things were still, uncomfortable to say the least. Most nights I slept in my quarters but occasionally I spent time in his room. Usually after he’d been working on some new project that he wanted my input on and I had been too tired to go back to my room, so I would end up spending the night with him. Those nights were usually the tensest. Neither of us got any sleep on those occasions. We were both scared stiff of moving an inch in the bed on the off chance that we might accidentally brush against each other.

The days were manageable, especially when they held a lot of distractions. But despite the huge fireplace blazing in my room, the nights were still cold and usually ended with me falling asleep in my tears.

Tonight was one such night. My tears had long dried but I still couldn’t sleep. I instead spent the last few hours crossed-legged on my bed and just staring blindly into the fire. I saw nothing really. I couldn’t claim, however, to feel nothing. The pain of separation was at times almost unbearable...a widening hollowness tearing at my insides.

But at least I was still feeling. The pain reminded me that I was still alive and although I didn’t want to, I should continue fighting or might end up losing myself in the emptiness. There was a slight tap on the door followed by a soft creek as the door slowly opened.

“Rain,” I said as I shifted my focus to the door. I knew the face well, as it was the star in almost all of my dreams, good and bad. His absolutely perfect features still knocked the wind out of me every time I looked at him. But now, although the features were still the same, I barely recognised him. His face looked tired and worn as he hadn’t slept in ages. His gait was still stately but his shoulders were slightly slumped, but only so much that only someone who was aware of him as I was could notice the difference.

“Can I come in?” he said still standing at the door.

“Yeah, sure.” I said nodding.

He then closed the door and walked over to the bed. “May I?” he asked again. I nodded my assent and then continued staring on in the flames. “Can’t sleep?” he asked.

“No, not really.” I said as I turned to face him.

“Me either,” he started. “And not just tonight. I haven’t slept well ever since we came back here and that is nearing two months now.” he paused. “You must be wondering what has changed since then? Why did I come tonight?”

I didn’t answer so he continued. “The truth is Aurora, I miss you. I miss not being able to talk to you freely, not being able to touch you, not being able to be the husband that you deserve.” he said as he rested his hand on my shoulder. I reflexively jerked my shoulder away. Seeing my reaction, he moved his hand and rested it on his lap.

“I am sorry,” he said letting out a huge sigh. “Maybe I was wrong in coming here. You are still not ready to forgive me as yet. I understand.” he said softly and then got up off the bed. He’d started moving off and then he stopped. He then turned to face me. “I’m tired of being wrong Summer. It feels so unnatural to be unsure of myself. I need you to tell me what to do to make everything okay because I would do anything. I need you to, to,” he inhaled deeply. “to make me right again.” he then dropped his sad eyes from mine and walked out of the room.

I still sat there frozen. What was I stupid? He’d taken the first step, which is usually not the easiest one, and had poured out his heart to me and I just sat there and said nothing. What the hell was I still doing sitting here staring at flames, when the only fire I needed back in my life had just walked out the door.

I unfolded my feet quickly and sprang out of the bed. I opened the door and searched for him but he was already gone. I had to find him to explain what a jerk I had been and hope that he would forgive me. He wasn’t the only one who was in need of atonement.

I sped off leaving the stairs and corridors behind me in a blur. I opened the door to his chambers and slammed it behind me. I saw him sitting on the side of the bed. I made my way slowly towards him. He stood when I was only a few inches away. We didn’t say anything to each other as we continued staring into each other’s eyes.

He’d made the first move so I figured that it was my turn now. I placed my hands on the sides of his face. His features were soft-hard just like I remembered. I hadn’t meant for tears to come, but I allowed them to flow on. “I miss you too,” I said without losing eye contact. “I miss you so much that it hurts. I am sorry for hurting you.”

My hand moved from his cheek and to his neck which I pulled down towards my face. With my eyes still opened I relished the sight of his face being so close to mine. I savoured the feel of his warm, uneven breath against my skin.

“Summer just tell me what to do. I’ll do anything,” he whispered. I felt a new wetness dripping down my face, but it wasn’t my tears. It was his.

“I want you to make love to me Thorn,” I whispered. “I want to feel close to you again. I want you to fix me.” I said as I brushed my lips against his.

“Aurora are you…” I put my finger on his lip, quieting him.

“I have been stupid in keeping up this stupid malice and forcing myself away from you. I was in a fight with myself. A fight I didn’t want to win, one I knew that I couldn’t win and yet I was trying. I can’t do it anymore. I am tired. It wore me down even more than my lack of sleep. I love you Rain. I miss you and so yes, I am very sure.”

His arms which were hanging limply at his sides found their way around my waist and back causing our bodies to collide as forcefully as our lips that were moving wildly against each other, breaking momentarily only for us to come up for air.

No time was wasted trying to take our clothes off carefully as every single scrap of clothing was rent directly from our bodies. Our hands were everywhere as we aimed to rediscover each other. He lifted me from the floor my legs locked securely around his waist securing myself tightly to him as he moved us unto the bed.

This time wasn’t going to be like the others. Gentle kisses and soft caresses were not going to be enough to satisfy the weeks of longing, frustration, and emptiness. Tonight was about rough togetherness and re-finding self in each other.

The rest of the night passed unnoticed by us as we had a lot of making up to do. Not that sex was a cure-all but it was definitely a positive start.

It was morning, there was no sun to indicate such, but I could feel it. I felt his fingers on my back as they traced the outline of my spine. It was a rather warm feeling that it evoked within me. One I didn’t realize how much I’d missed until now.

I opened my eyes only to meet his looking directly back into mine. “You are up before me,” I whispered.

“I didn’t sleep much. I just wanted to ensure that you were really here when I did get up and that this wasn’t a dream,” he said softly.

I crawled over closer to him and rested my head on his chest. “Well, this is not a dream. I am right where I want to be. Never again will you wake up and find that I’m not here. I can never torture myself like that again. I will always be here for as long as you want me to.” I whispered as I stroked the planes of his chest.

“I guess that will be forever,” he said with a slight laugh.

“I guess, it will,” I said smiling. I turned to face him. “You know that we still have a lot to talk about though.”

“I know. That’s why I’ve cancelled all my plans for the day. It isn’t nearly enough time but it’s a start at least.”

“Yeah, at least.” I smiled. “So where do we start?”

“How about with breakfast. Strangely enough, I felt hungry, something I haven’t felt in a while.”

“I wonder why?” I laughed. It felt good to laugh again. I thought I had forgotten how to after all this time. I was relieved that it came as easily as it usually did.

His smile widened. “I think we both know the answer to that,” he said as held up a scrap of cloth that was strewn across the sheets.

I took it from him and rubbed the piece of fabric between my fingers. “I wonder if this is mine or yours?”

“Mine,” he said. “I must say that you have quite an arm.” he laughed.

“I try,” I said smugly. “So how about breakfast? Do they happen to have any doughnuts on this side of the world?”

“We could go and look, but we should probably get dressed first, as we wouldn’t want to cause a stir. Well me, not too much, but you would probably cause a stampede. ” he joked.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “But seriously though, some members of the Guard really need a mate. They can’t possibly go on living like that.”

“That would be ideal, but it might not be an easy task as it is for the Coronas. You’ve always had the right leader with the gift of insight, especially when it comes to matchmaking decisions. For the last four hundred years that hasn’t been the case for the Lunes. I’m afraid that the tradition of us choosing for them might be a dead one. Even if we did try to reintroduce it, they might not accept it. The years of infighting had probably eliminated the chances of them even finding that perfect mate, as he or she might have died before they were born. We again have to consider those who are already with someone else. Could we really tell them to leave that person just because they aren’t their ‘true love’?”

“I guess not,” I said biting on my lower lip. “It is just sad that they will never have what we have. It just makes you realize how lucky we are.” I said musingly.

“What we have isn’t due to luck. It was destiny. Speaking of which, if I don’t eat soon I might be destined to die from starvation.”

“Oh alright, point taken.” I smiled. “Let’s go and raid the kitchen,” I said getting up.

It took us a while to figure out where the kitchen was. It was understandably a small room, since no one here really needed to eat. I was surprised, however, at how well stocked it was. It was a ‘just in case precaution’ according to Thorn.

Breakfast was huge as we overindulged on eggs, bacon, pancakes, orange juice, and of course doughnuts. Seidon and Diego had joined us in our mini-feast. I could see that Seidon was pleased that Rain and I were making up. “So you two are speaking again?” he asked.

“Yes,” we replied.

“It’s about time or I was planning to take matters into my own hands and sort this out. I was tired of you two avoiding each other and then coming to me to sulk. An old man could only take so much drama.” he said. He then continued to dominate the conversation, but no one seemed to mind.

Diego on the other hand didn’t say much, he mostly watched. When I caught him staring, he would drop his eyes and continued eating. He seemed uneasy, to say the least. He then excused himself shortly after that.

The rest of the morning ran like clockwork, with most of it being spent by the lake. And by midday, it almost seemed like the past two months never happened. Almost, as though things were getting better, an undeniable chasm had been created between us and it would take time for that to be fully mended.

The evening was spent on the cliffs watching the setting northern sun. It was there that I really told Thorn everything that happened to me during my abduction. I left the part about the diary of course. I tried to gauge his reaction, but his face remained unreadable.

“Rain,” I said calling his name to regain his attention.

“Yes,” he said taking his eyes off of the rising moon, which was surprisingly clear despite the fact that the sun hadn’t fully set.

“What are we going to do, when we catch up with Naeht?” I asked.

“Whatever is written in the laws,” he said apathetically.

“Suppose it is written that he should die?”

“Then that is the way it has to be.”

I turned to face him. “Could you really kill him? He is still your family. How would Seidon deal with it if we did kill him? He is still his son, despite sharing different bloodlines. He raised him as his own.”

“The law is the law Aurora, and it has to be followed. Naeht and his accomplice whoever he is, knew that there were consequences for their actions and so must have prepared to meet them.” he said harshly.

“But you bent the laws once for Diego. You allowed him to stay and may have saved his life. You did that for a stranger, but not for your own brother?” he remained silent. “Rain, you’ve got to be reasonable.” I pleaded.

“I am being reasonable. How would it look on me if I kept on bending the rules for everyone? Eventually, no one will take us seriously, and we will lose total control. Can’t you see that?”

“Yes I can, but everyone else will have to understand. He is your brother.”

“Why are you defending him Aurora?”

“I am not defending him Rain, but if you are going to use this one event to base all your decisions on what the law says, then Naeht isn’t the only one who is supposed to die.”

“What are you talking about?”

“ What about me? Doesn’t the law say that I should be killed on spot just for being a Corona? Are you going to kill me Rain?”

“Of course not. You are different, you’re my wife. And that law is currently being revised.”

“Yes, but it is still the law currently. Being your wife still doesn’t change who I am or what I am. I am a Corona which according to the law makes me a criminal. ”

He inhaled deeply. “What do you want me to do Summer? Not punish him?”

“No I didn’t say that. He has to be punished for what he did. But I want you to do the right thing. The right thing that doesn’t involve killing Naeht.” I said pleadingly. “Rain for the last four hundred years there has been a vicious cycle involving those at the helm killing members of their own family, to gain power. First with Ay killing Mond. Omayra killing Ay. You killing Omayra. It has to stop somewhere. This is what everyone expects from you, cruelty and callousness no matter who you are dealing with. Isn’t that the image we want to change?

“We have to set an example. Put yourself in Seidon’s place. Suppose a few years from now we have to live through seeing one of our children killing another just to prove a point or for power or for whatever other stupid reason. Imagine the hurt that we would feel having to live through that.

“I get that you are angry and feel betrayed. I do too. I was the worst-affected victim.” I knew that the attack wasn’t only directed towards me but to him also and it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t acknowledge that. “But that doesn’t mean I want him dead. Even if he did die, it still wouldn’t change what happened.”

He sighed heavily. He placed his hand on the side of my face. “You are too good. Too good for me and definitely too good to my brother.” he said softly.

“Does that mean you are going to think about what I said?”

“Yes, but I am going to need some time. I am not as benevolent as you. With you being the only exception, I don’t forgive others easily. And definitely do not forget as easily as you.”

“I don’t know about the forgetting part. But you need to think quickly as we don’t have much time.” I said pointing to the new arrivals on the beach.

“Vitali and Naeht. When did they land I didn’t even notice them coming in,” he said standing.

“I did. I saw a vessel a few miles out. I wasn’t sure but I had to ensure that we didn’t do anything rash.” I said standing beside him.

“By we, you mean me?” he said with a slight smile.

“No, by we, I meant we. I wasn’t only trying to convince you not to cut his throat, but myself also. I’m not as good as you think.”

“Of course you are. The last few times I might have been wrong in jumping to certain conclusions, but there is no question of your goodness. You trying to reason with me, and yourself just proves my point. Bad people don’t reason, they just act.” he said as he gave me a slight peck on the cheek. “We have a guest to entertain, so we should go inside now.” he said lightly but I could still detect the ire behind the words.