Ascension

I wasn’t sure which direction to go first.

The world is a big place.

I was sitting on the seat of a lonely chair at the bus stop for hours. Several of them had made round trips only to find me sitting in the same place.

“Still here?” asked the driver who stopped at my feet for the third time.

“Yes, unfortunately. Nothing seems to be heading where I want to go.”

“And where is that. I am sure I can direct you.”

“I’m not quite sure where I am headed just yet.”

“Well, it looks like I won’t be able to help after all. But you should probably find somewhere warm as the nights can be brutal. Well, I’ll see you around lad. Probably on the next round trip.”

“Hopefully not.” I said lightly. He chuckled lightly as he drove off.

He was right though. It would look strange for me to be sitting here not moving in the cold. People would begin to wonder. I thought about staying in a nearby inn, but then I remembered the house on the cove. It was where Naeht was staying but he was out looking for Summer, so there wouldn’t be much trouble caused from our egos clashing.

I hailed the oncoming taxi, hopping in the cab and gave the driver the direction to the house. It wasn’t a long drive from where I was. After about fifteen minutes, the cab pulled up at the small wooden fence. I paid the driver giving him a generous tip causing him to grin widely as he drove off.

It was late evening, but the sun hadn’t down as yet. I pushed the gate open and walked along the brown brick path leading to the front door. The front of the yard was a messy affair as the orange, red, yellow and brown leaves were everywhere except on the trees.

Usually when I did come here, the first place I would go was around the back to stare over the cliffs into the sea, but a new sense of urgency overcame me pushing me to go directly inside.

The spare key was hidden under a huge clay pot by the door. It was too heavy for any one human to lift but it was no trouble at all for us. I just hoped that Naeht hadn’t moved it and forgot to put it back. If it wasn’t, I was going to have to break in.

I however saw that there was no need for worry. I lifted the pot and it was there. I swiped it up and carefully placed the pot down. With two spins of the key, I was inside. I closed the door and walked directly into the living area. I threw the key down on the table and hung my jacket over the chair. I walked into the adjoining bathroom. I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed the bar of soap that sat on the face basin. I washed my face and hands. And with my eyes still closed I walked over to the towel rack.

I grabbed the hanging linen which didn’t seem to be removing the wetness from my face but only seemed to be spreading it. I opened my eyes and looked at the cloth, holding it up to fully examine it. It was a woman’s dress, a nightdress to be more specific. Still hanging from the rack were some lacy underwear. It was either my brother was a cross-dresser or he had female company while he was staying here.

I hung the dress back over the rack and went over to the linen closet to remove a clean towel which I used to dry off before walking back to the living room. I had no intention of sleeping much tonight, so I would stay downstairs here for the rest of the time. This was only a small rest top before I left in the morning.

I kicked off my boots and went to lay down in the sofa. It was getting darker, but I didn’t think it necessary to turn on the lights as I could see just fine without them. First, I thought about what my next move would be. I tried to formulate a systematic way of searching the globe for my wife.

It sounded daft when I repeated the task at hand to myself, but that was exactly what I had to do. I would probably have to start with the places that she was familiar with. That didn’t narrow things down a lot as she’d told me that she didn’t travel much. This was her first trip out of Jamaica, hence the only place she did know was her home. Then again why would she go there as she’d figure that that would be the first place I’d go looking.

I started looking the places that she was less familiar with. That was a more daunting task as that left the rest of the world. Although, I could probably rule out the Arctic, Antarctica and anywhere else too far north or south of the equator, she was after all still a Corona, she would probably stick to the tropics. That left only a hundred or so more countries.

I closed my eyes and pulled my hands over my face as I was still very much at the point that I started, that point being nowhere. What was the sense of having this huge mental capacity, genius as Summer had once called it, when I couldn’t put it to good use to find her.

My body was tired and so was my mind. It literally hurt when I had to think. I inhaled deeply, maybe I should try to sleep or at least relax for a while, giving myself time to regroup before I tried to solve this impossible puzzle. That in itself was an impossible task, yet I tried none the less. I listened as the waves broke on the rocks below. Slowly I started to breathe easily as I patterned my breathing to compliment the movement of the sea. In with the waves, out with the waves. I was even beginning to get drowsy, but that all ended when I heard a soft thump coming from upstairs, which was followed by a small whisper of “Frick.”

I sat up immediately as it meant that someone else was here. Totally ignoring my shoes I quietly stalked upstairs. I carefully checked all of the doors going down the hall but they were all empty. The only door left was the store that of the store room at the end. I wasn’t sure if I would bother going in there as nothing was kept there except old furniture and boxes. I thought that I’d probably imagined the noises as my tired mind wasn’t working correctly. That I thought, until again I heard the voice, “Frick” it said once more. This time I was sure, it was definitely not a mind trick.

I walked over to the door. It had on more locks than I remembered. There used to be only one on this door, now there were twelve. I decided that I wasn’t going to waste any time trying to open them one by one. I simply decided to kick the door in. It took me two tries but the barrier eventually gave way.

The first thing I noted was the blonde girl standing beside the bed, whose bright blue eyes bulged with fright at my forceful entry.

The door downstairs opened. He was home earlier than I expected. I thought his plans were to stay away for a couple days, but they were just plans and we all knew how quickly they could change.

Ever since I read Rain’s diary that was all that I could think of. It was sort of refreshing not having to worry about Naeht bursting into the room to further torment me, but that was over now I guess. A few more minutes passed and he still hadn’t come up. He must have already checked through the gem.

I was so tired of being here. I knew that I shouldn’t try this but I was going to any ways. I crawled of the bed and walked over to the door. I was going to try to blast myself out of here.

The warm heat that usually flowed out of my core and towards my limbs was usual a snap response, it used to be easy as breathing. Now, it was slow in building. My hands shook slightly at the building energy. A small flame appeared on the tip of my fingers.

Suddenly my knees gave out. “Frick,” I cussed. It was irritating how something that came so naturally to me had become one of the hardest things I had to do.

I crawled over to the bed and tried to pull myself up. Finally there were movements coming from downstairs. I leaned on the bed and waited for him to appear. “Frick,” I cussed again. This time for my stupidity. I just had to try and blast myself out of here, when the only thing I had blasted was myself into more trouble.

The footsteps stopped at the door. There was a brief silence, followed by a sharp pound on the door. I thought that it would have given way judging from the deep bulge of the wooden boards. I must have really pissed him off for him to be this angry. There was another pound this time half the door was missing as the wooden splinters scattered all across the room.

I stood there frozen not knowing what to do next. The dark head walked into the room.

“I am sorry I startled you but I am not going to hurt you.” he said in a calm tone.

“Rain is that you?” I asked as I still couldn’t believe that this was real. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, as my weakness seemed to no longer exist.

“Yes, but who are you and how do you know my name?” he said unwrapping my arms and pushing me away.

“It’s me Aurora,” I said as I searched is grey eyes.

“Summer?” he asked again, this time it was his eyes that were searching mine. I saw my reflection in his irises, of course he wouldn’t recognise me like this. He took my hand and looked at the bands on my finger. “It’s you isn’t it?” he said cupping one side of my face in his hand, as it seemed that he finally believed me.

“Yes,” I said as I smiled slightly. With the little strength I had remaining, I morphed back to my true self. His hand soon left my face and it joined the other one around my waist. It was a tight hug that in other circumstances would be uncomfortable as he was squeezing the wind out of me, but I didn’t mind. In fact I wouldn’t have minded if he was holding me tighter as I could never be held too close to him. “I am so happy that you are here.” I whispered.

He finally loosened his hold on me and allowed me far enough to look in my face. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I was, but I am much better now.” I said softly.

“Aurora can I ask you a question?”

I nodded, “Okay,”

“Why did you leave without saying anything to me? I was worried sick for the whole time you were gone. Then there was the letter that you gave Naeht to hand to me?” he said as his eyebrows began to furrow.

I pushed away from him. “W-w-what?” I hadn’t seen him for days and this was the greeting I received. “How can you even ask me that?” I said softly.

“I spent the whole week wondering where in the world could you possibly be. If you wanted some time to yourself you should have just said that to me. I would have understood.” he said in an accusatory tone.

“Hopefully not like you are understanding now Rain.” I spat. “That letter to which you refer, Naeht forced me to write it. You came here and found me in a room locked, not from the inside but from the outside and then you are going to ask me why I walked out on you. You might have found me now, when I’m in this large and seemingly comfortable room. But where were you when I was locked in a dark cellar for days, while I puked out not one, but three doses of evergreen oil that your brother forced down my throat. Where were you? Oh right, you were sitting in Tir na n-Óg probably taking care of some business, more important than finding your missing wife. Then in your stead, you sent your brother, my abductor, to go and search for me.

“Then you have the gall to ask me why I walked out on you? I thought you knew me better than that, but obviously you don’t. At least the Rain I knew before we got married knew that I could never walk out on him. If anyone should be asking questions, it should be me. Why Rain, why is it that you have so little faith in me?”

“Summer I…” he started.

“You know what, I have a headache in addition to all my other pains, so I really don’t wish to talk about this anymore. He has your gem and so is probably watching me. We should probably get back to Tir na n-Óg before he finds out that you are here. That is if you still want me to go back with you. If not I could always make other plans.” I said folding my arms. Of course I had no other plans, but I was just saving face.

“Of course I want you to come home with me Summer.” he said with a shallow calm. A cover for the storm that I knew was raging underneath.

“Don’t call me Summer. That was reserved for the sunnier days. Obviously those days are ending. My name is Aurora.” I said harshly. I could see the pain that it inflicted on him to hear me say those words, but I wanted him to feel what I felt when he started making his accusations. It was wicked and the sharp stabs of regret had already started poking me in the sides, but I decided to shake them off.

“What in the heavens do you mean by that?” he asked softly, the strain however, was evident in his voice.

“Nothing,” I said.

“Nothing,” he said shaking his head. He became silent. There was usually silence before an explosion. “I am sorry that I took so long to get here. I am sorry that you think that I don’t love you as much as I did before we got married. And you know what, you are right about that. I don’t love you the same way, I am even more in love with you now than I was then. And if you haven’t seen that, then maybe you are the one who doesn’t know me as well as you thought.

“You were not the only one who was being manipulated by my brother. When I read the letter, I thought that you didn’t want me to find you, yet here I am.” he said as he grabbed me by the arms, forcing me to look in his face. “Do you know how long he’d made me originally plan on not looking for you? I gave my brother a whole month, after which I was going to give up Tir na n-Óg, my title, everything until I found you. I had been slaving over that decision for days and then I finally realized that it was impossible for me to go on without you that long.” his voice dropped slightly. “I haven’t slept since the night you left. I tried to use work to cover up everything, but that proved to be a futile effort.

“I may not be human Summer, but I grew up in a very human world. Hence, I have human emotions, perceptions and faults and because of that, I am not perfect, despite what you might think.” his grip had become tighter and I felt my hands becoming numb at the fingers. He inhaled deeply and then let out a sharp breath. His voice then dropped down a few octaves, making it very soft and gruff.

“I know that Naeht didn’t steal you away while you were in my arms. He couldn’t have done it within the holds of Tir na n-Óg either, at least without being seen, so he had to meet you somewhere else. Somewhere outside prying eyes. That meant that you had to leave the palace voluntarily . I want to know why. Were you threatened before hand? I don’t understand. Why?”

I tried pulling away from his hold, but he didn’t even seem to notice my efforts. I looked away from his eyes, as they’d become cold and hard as his grey irises looked more steel than flesh. I had really done it this time, my last comments had sent him over the edge, and for the first time ever, I was afraid. I was afraid of Thorn.

“Thorn you’re hurting me,” I bellowed. His look was wild as if he was searching to understand the words I’d spoken. His grip slackened and then he let go of me totally. I thought I would have stumbled at his sudden release, but I managed to retain my balance. I retreated to the bed so that I could get the added support for my worn out body. I ran my hands over where he’d held me as dark bruises had slowly started to appear.

“Why?” he asked again.

“I left that morning to go outside on the beach to think. That was where your brother saw me.” I said flatly as I stared ahead.

“Think about what exactly?”

“Us. Tir na n-Óg. Our journey in getting here. What we were going to do here. Our future.”

He remained silent. “So some parts in the letter…?”

“Yes, some parts of it were my words.” My innocent words that were twisted until they became malicious, bent on causing hurt. I could have said this but I didn’t feel like saying much else. I was tired of the fighting. It had worn me down enough. I would let him think what he wanted to. He had already started to anyways, so what would be the difference.

“I just wanted to know. That clears up a lot.” he said softly, mostly to himself.

I didn’t want to know what that meant and I wasn’t going to hurt myself over trying to find out. I ambled over to the bookshelf and reached behind the other books, pulling out Rain’s diary. I held it close to me and turned away from the shelf, still stooping. The diary, a collection of hurtful secrets I’d sworn to keep. Or not keep. I wondered whether I could be that cruel.

“What is that?” he asked.

“Just something I was reading to pass time.” No, I was not that cruel. At least not yet. For now, I was holding it for safekeeping. It would be careless to leave something so priceless behind. Or that’s what I told myself. “We should probably go back. . . .” Home? Was that even the right word for where we were headed? As somehow it didn’t seem to fit.

“Yes, we should.” At least that was something we agreed on. “You don’t look well,” he said as he watched me drag myself back over to the bed where I had to rest a little before I could even think of moving again.

“I am just a little weak, that’s all.” I said without looking at him.

“Do you mind if I help you?” he said cautiously stepping closer.

“Yes, thank you. Or else we might end up spending the entire night trying to get me out the front door.”

He drew closer to me. His hands were a little uncertain, rarely unstable and appeared uncomfortable in touching me. I eased up slightly allowing him to lift me up off the bed and into his arms. It sort of reminded me of our wedding night when he carried me over the threshold. Only this time the distance he kept between us was much greater and the intimacy and anticipation that punctuated that night were also missing.

I saw him take note of my bruised arms. “I am sorry that I hurt you. It will never happen again.” he said hoarsely.

“You’ve said that before.” I replied just as dryly and I used my free arm to cover the fading bruise. I watched as the comment tore across his face leaving hurt and guilt behind. He however, rearranged his features into an apathetic stiffness.

I wanted so much to break out into tears and for him to bring me in much closer whispering into my ear that everything was going to be alright. But it was like my eyes and every part of me had iced over and all my emotions were frozen.

Him finding me was what I had been hoping for, for days, but I was slowly beginning to wish he hadn’t if I’d known that the end result would be a total blow out.

I began to wonder if our candles would ever burn as brightly as they did before. But unfortunately I knew the answer. Today we had hurt each other greatly. Probably irreparably, probably indefinitely. I squeezed my lids together, trapping my anguish inside.