Chapter 30
Lotta decided that it was time to speak with Agatha, not wondering if she wanted it or not.
Those days that she spent at the hospital were torture to her and she was aware of it, Agatha also tortured Viktor and everybody who loved her, but most of all, she was torturing herself.
That was the main reason that Lotta decided that she wanted to talk with her and see if there was anything that she could do.
Viktor was her friend, Drake was the other part of her soul, and both of them loved Agatha, in different ways, and couldn't help her, because she just detached herself from reality.
Now, it wasn't important the things that she had done to Lotta, because Lotta saw her true face and knew that Agatha was truly sorry for everything that she had done.
"Baby, I tried, regardless of the things she has done, but it's like she isn't here", Drake said to Lotta.
"I'm not sure what else should I do."
"She won't speak with Mother either, and if you don't succeed no one will", he told her.
"I need to try, because Viktor is in a terrible state, and I feel you, you know you can't hide anything from me" " she told him.
Drake smiled at her.
"You know me too well", he stated, and she smiled, satisfied.
That was true.
Viktor was in the hospital hallway, sitting, lost in his thoughts.
He was in an awful state, and he couldn't hide it.
His hair was messy, he was unshaven, and he had black circles around his eyes, which showed he didn't have much sleep.
Lotta's heart sank when she saw him like that.
He didn't deserve it, he deserved to be happy, like she was now.
You need to shave, you know?" Lotta told him, smiling.
He was surprised to see her standing there, he didn't expect to see anybody, but being here, in front of Agatha's room became like a habit to him.
He felt peaceful, and restless at the same time, which was normal, in this situation.
"Lotta, what are you doing here?" He asked, surprised.
"I came to see her", she answered.
He sighed.
"You know it's no use, because no one can't do anything", he told her, with a voice of quitting.
"Well, for your information, I never give up, so there will be a talk, even if it's just me that need's to talk", she said, firmly.
She didn't wait for him to say anything more, and honestly, neither did she want to.
It was enough of this situation and now it was time for solving it, one way or another.
So, she turned around from him and opened Agatha's room.
It was dark inside, even outside was a sunny day, but Agatha wanted that.
Lota became angry.
It wasn't enough that everybody was trying to make her feel better and help her, she was still refusing it.
That needed to change, right now.
"Yu know", Lotta started to talk, looking at Agatha's empty eyes, "there is more in life than selfpitty", she said, and walked to the window.
Agatha's face stayed the same, she didn't move a muscle.
The food was next to her, and it could seen that she ate a bit, but most of it was left untouched.
Luckily, she had an IV, otherwise, she would starve to death.
Lotta removed the curtains from the window, and let the sun in, without taking her eyes off Agatha.
When the sun hit her eyes, Agatha put her hand over them.
She couldn't stand it, because she was mostly in the dark.
She started to breathe faster, and Lotta was satisfied that she could get any kind of reaction from her.
"Please...", Agatha spoke in a quiet and sad voice.
"No, I won't put the curtains back on, or I'll let you stay here more than it's necessary", she told her.
"I have waited for you to get your shit together, but you constantly refusing to do it", Lotta was angry.
"You are selfish, mean, and awfully wrong about the whole situation", she said, while Agatha's body started to shake.
"You are avoiding the truth, people that care about you, even your destined mate, and I won't talk about your poor mother, who almost died from worry, and you still won't do anything about it, because you don't care!" She determinatly said.
Tears were starting to fall from Agatha's eyes, and it could be seen that she was fighting with herself.
That made Lotta satisfied because she got her attention for the first time in those long days.
"I care...", She whispered.
"Excuse me, I haven't heard you?", Lotta was persistent.
"I do care!"Agatha yelled from the bottom of her soul.
"I care so much that it hurts, but I'm nothing, worthless, because of all the things I've done, can't you see that?!" She said to Lotta.
"If you are, then I wouldn't be here now, your mother and brother wouldn't worried so much, and your mate wouldn't sit in front of your room for weeks, destroying himself, just because you can't forgive and live with yourself", Lotta said.
"I have nothing to forgive, and I don't deserve to be forgiven", Agatha said through tears.
"We all make mistakes, who knows why, it's in human nature I guess."
We all have that in us, regardless of our other side, our wolves", Lotta said, with a quiet voice, and approached her.
"Forgive yourself Agatha, just like we all have", Lotta told her, looking her straight into her eyes.
"I can't, it's too hard, I don't deserve it, I don't deserve a mate like Viktor, because I was a fool, and my father is dead now."
The man that raised me like his own daughter, because of my stupidity, so how can I forgive myself, how?"! She was sobbing.
"He is dead because of a monster like Seth was, not you", Lotta told her.
There's some this gs we all need to confront in ourselves, even if it hurts, but you are not the same person that you used to be, maybe you never was ", Lotta spoke.
"You believe in that?" Agatha asked.
"I know that because I remember our friendship, just like you do, don't you?" Lotta asked her, and Agatha started to cry uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you can't imagine how much", she was sobbing on Lotta's chest, and she almost made her cry too.
She needed that, she needed someone to shake her, to see that life is hard, but also good when you have the right people at your side.
"Viktor will never forgive me for my foolishness, and how could he, I'm a terrible mate material", she sobbed.
"Are you sure about that, Agatha?" Viktor asked her, standing at the doorway, looking at her with his piercing eyes, straight into her soul.