SWNOVELS Alpha’s Moon: Chapter 16
Rafe
“You know this is fucking jacked, right?” my brother demands.
“Excuse me?” I keep my face blank but toss the wrench I’m working with into the tool box. It’s been a week since I retrieved Deke’s Mercedes, but he hasn’t touched it, which isn’t like him. Normally this SUV is his baby. Lance and I changed the oil to see if we could tempt Deke back to normal, but no luck.
We haven’t had any missions to distract us. After we got made on the last one, Colonel Johnson put the recon on Gabriel Dieter on hold. We still haven’t figured out how he knew we were there.
Lance wipes his hands on the grease rag. “Something’s wrong with Deke. He’s fucked up. Way more than usual.”
Understatement. Since we retrieved Deke, he hasn’t eaten, has barely slept. Most of the time he’s in wolf form.
I shrug. I can’t disagree. “I’m doing all I can.”
“Bullshit.” Lance’s cheeks are bright. He holds my eyes bravely, but his swallow belies the innate difficulty of standing up to his alpha like this. “I thought like you. I acted on orders, I went to break Deke and Sadie up. But this isn’t some one-night stand. This woman’s really good for him.”
“Deke’s unstable. His wolf can’t be around humans long term. It’s not safe.”
“I’ve never seen him smile like he does with her. And he was after her from the first whiff of her scent he got. She’s obviously his mate.”
That stops me short. “His mate,” I repeat, testing the words. Mate. I never thought we’d get mates. It just didn’t cross my mind. “Deke has a mate.”
“Yep.” Lance sounds casual, but his shoulders relax. He got his message through.
Deke has a mate. Unbelievable. But my wolf confirms it’s true.
“Fuck,” I mutter. Keeping him from his mate will actually drive him straight to moon madness. He could be dead before the next moon. But what can we do? He can’t have a human. None of us can, but especially not Deke. He’s the most feral of all of us.
“This changes everything,” Lance says.
“No, it doesn’t. Brother. Think. Sadie’s a human. Even if Deke is bound to her, we can’t ask her to be shackled to him. He’s a monster.”
Lance is shaking his head. “He won’t hurt her.”
“You don’t know that—”
A roar cuts me off. I kick the toolbox in my haste to race outside. Lance follows at my back. On the lawn in front of our lodge, there’s a blur of white and brown, followed by a dark streak. Channing in wolf form, getting the shit kicked out of him by Deke’s midnight black wolf.
“Aww hell,” Lance says and starts stripping off his shirt. He sets his Rolex aside carefully before shucking off his khakis and striding, bare-assed, into the fray. He shifts, and his grey wolf joins the fight.
I sigh. Pack fights are fine, but Deke’s been picking fights nonstop for days. Right now, his black wolf is growling and snapping, ripping at Channing before rounding on Lance. Channing darts away, half his ear chewed off. He looks like he wants nothing more than to slink off, but he waits patiently on the sidelines for Lance to tire, so he can run at Deke again. The only way to get Deke to stop is to tire him out. Unless we want to escalate things.
I’ve stayed out of the fights. If Deke turns on me, my wolf will take it as a challenge. And a challenge is a fight to the death.
Across the lawn, Lance leads Deke on a merry chase. The grey wolf’s mouth hangs open, half laughing as it threads between our cars. Lance emerges from behind my Humvee, slowing to a trot. Deke is nowhere to be seen. But then—
“Look out,” I shout.
Lance turns just in time for the black wolf to sail over my Humvee and crash into him. The two wolves become a blur of speed and snarls and fur. Then a pained yelp, and I wince. Deke has Lance by the nose, his fangs sunk into his muzzle. A dangerous move, and an effective one. If Deke hangs on too long, Lance won’t be able to breathe.
Channing’s wolf flashes by me. He hits Deke’s flank and bites the black wolf’s rump. Deke’s head flies up, his body jackknifing in an attempt to reach Channing. Channing plants his paws and hangs on.
Lance backs away looking dazed, his muzzle bleeding. Deke drags Channing now, trying to run in a circle to catch the brown and white wolf’s tail.
This is ridiculous. Time to escalate things.
I stride onto the lawn just as Channing lets go of Deke and leaps out of the way. Deke doesn’t quit. The black wolf lunges for Channing again and again.
“Enough,” I order. I put the force of my alpha command into my tone. It should stop the fighting at once.
But instead of stopping, the black wolf turns and races my way, its jaw spread in a snarl as it launches at me in attack.
Deke
I get close enough to see the whites of my alpha’s eyes before Rafe throws himself out of the way. I crash into the side of the lodge, cracking a shutter. The impact makes a section of the gutter fall but the stone wall holds. I’m on my paws as quick as I land, shaking my head to clear it.
I’m broken, bleeding, but there’s no way I can stop. I have to fight. There’s a roaring in my ear, a sick churning in my gut. An engine fed by pain that drives me on and on.
I lost Sadie. There’s nothing left for me. But I can still fight.
I’m disoriented, and by the time I get my wits back, a black and orange wolf slams into my side. I snarl and lunge, trying to catch him, but Rafe dances out of the way. He backs onto the lawn, facing me in challenge. A smarter wolf would stop and go to its belly before its alpha.
My wolf isn’t smart. It wants to die. I show my teeth in a deadly smile, and hurl myself at Rafe. This time he’s ready for me, and doesn’t bother skipping out of the way. He side steps and slams his shoulder into mine, unbalancing me. I find my paws again and lunge. Rafe knocks me over again. A third time, and he snaps at my haunch, a tiny nip that draws blood. And my wolf goes crazy, attacking and charging Rafe over and over as he rips into me. He’s a second faster, a hair stronger, and a million times as lethal. My wolf rises to the occasion, but Rafe bleeds me little by little. And then, finally, he knocks me to my back. I try to move, and he pins me with his weight.
There are teeth on my throat. I go still.
The light is breaking in the east. My last dawn. I don’t fear death. I don’t welcome it either, but if I can’t live with Sadie, there’s no more reason for me to walk the earth.
Rafe growls against me. He’s got me pinned. I scrabble my paws, hoping he’ll make it quick.
“Stop,” Lance is yelling. “It’s a trick.”
Rafe growls again but doesn’t move.
“It’s a trick,” Lance insists. “Look at him.” He points to me. “Think about how he’s acting. He wants the bite.”
Rafe’s body goes still. And all my hopes are destroyed as he pulls away. I flip onto all fours, and I bare my teeth in Lance’s direction, but he ignores me. He’s figured it out.
Rafe shifts and stands as a man. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Lance gestures to me. “He wants the bite. He’s trying to get you to kill him. Whenever he had you in a hold, he didn’t kill you. He kept going until you had him pinned. He’s not out of control. He planned this.”
“Is this true? Suicide by Alpha?” Rafe crouches to look me in the eye. I duck my head. “If that’s true, then you are in control, more than you think.” He grips the scruff of my neck and hauls my head up again. I show him my fangs, but I don’t mean it. Fight’s over.
“Change,” Rafe orders, and my spine bows backwards as the wolf releases my body.
Rafe backs away, giving me space. In man form, I’m still bleeding, but my wounds are healing.
“Bastard,” I mutter, but I take my alpha’s hand when he offers to help me up. He grips my shoulder, and I wince. My skin is still sensitive from the shift.
“This changes everything,” Rafe says.
“No,” I growl, but inside my heart, my wolf raises his head, wanting so desperately to believe.
Sadie
It’s my father’s phone call that changes everything. It’s Wednesday, a school night, and I’m pacing in my living room. I cancelled our girl’s night. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t think. I had a few days with Deke, a few days of heaven, and now I’m left with nothing. My ovaries are in bed, eating bon bons and moping. My heart is a cracked and bleeding mess.
My phone buzzes. I snatch it up and answer on autopilot.
“Sadie,” my father’s nasal voice drones. “Finally. I’ve been wondering if you were still alive.”
The sarcasm barely registers. “Yeah.”
“That last voicemail was something else.” He pauses, and I don’t say anything. If he’s waiting for me to apologize, he will have to wait the rest of his life.
My father clears his throat. “Now that I have you on the phone, I want to talk to you about Scott. I think—”
Oh my God! Will this man never listen?
“I only dated him for you,” I interrupt with sudden, blazing clarity.
“Excuse me?” My father sounds affronted, but I don’t care. If anything, it’s a bonus.
“I only dated him for you,” I repeat. “You were nicer to me when I was with Scott.” It’s true. All the barbs, the little digs, the insults—they stopped when I was with Scott. I used Scott as a shield between me and my dad just for some relief. Except Scott was worse.
“You both treated me badly.” I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.
“Listen—”
“No, you listen. You don’t get to treat me like I’m a child or someone lesser. Those days are done. I don’t need Scott. And I don’t need you.” I hang up.
Already I feel lighter. My instincts aren’t wrong. I just never listened to them before. It’s time I stop listening to other people. They don’t know what’s best for me. They might think they do, and they might have some good advice, but my life is my own. My choices.
And my happiness is available, right in front of me. I just have to reach out and take it. No one’s going to hand it to me, and it doesn’t matter. I can choose happiness for myself.
That’s how I find myself in my car, coaxing my little Hyundai up the mountain road. The little engine is slow to propel me forward, but slowly we gain elevation. And then I’m turning into the road for the lodge and speeding down that thickly wooded way. I pull into the parking lot in front of the garage big as an airplane hanger. Deke’s black Mercedes G63 is there, and so is his bike. My heart squeezes and thumps.
Here goes nothing.
Deke
“It changes nothing,” I rasp at my alpha. But he keeps grinning at me.
“You’re in control, Deke,” he says. “You always have been.”
I step back, away from Rafe, and glance at Lance, at Channing. Both my packmates are nodding.
“But what does this mean?” I know what I hope for, but it’s too good to be true.
Rafe must know I’m reeling because his voice is gentle. “It means you have a mate.”
A mate. I run a hand over my head, trying to catch my breath.
The sound of an engine makes my eyes snap up, alert. A little white Hyundai rolls down our drive and up to our garage. I only know one person who drives a car like that. My legs weaken, and I’d fall to my knees if I wasn’t so wounded and my wolf wasn’t so adamant that I not show weakness right now.
Sadie’s here.
Sadie
I get out of my car and startle when I realize Deke’s right there on the lawn, a few feet away from my car.
“Sadie?” Deke calls. He’s naked with blood marring his skin.
He’s all ripped up. Has he been fighting? Behind him Rafe and Lance are tugging on their jeans. I see blood on them, too, and they all look shameful. I’ve broken up quite a few scraps on the playground, and I know those guilty looks.
There’s a huge brown and white wolf behind them, lurking on the edge of the woods. Channing? Geez, these werewolves are big.
“Who did this to him?” I demand in my best teacher voice. I glare at his friends who all grow more sheepish. My legs tremble, but I hold my ground.
Deke makes a sound low in his throat and steps between his alpha and my line of sight. I refocus on him.
“Deke. Have you been fighting?”
“What are you doing here?” His voice is rough, like it hurts him to talk. I take a step towards him. I want to soothe all his wounds. “I’m here for you. For us.”
He tilts his head in that wolfish way of his. I can’t read his expression.
“You can’t get rid of me so easily.” I fist my hands at my sides. “We had something good together. You think you’re dangerous to me, but I know you’re not. You would never hurt me. You won’t.” I shake my head for emphasis.
Deke’s packmates slink back, giving us some space.
“Deke, I want this. I want you. And I’m going to figure out what it takes to have you. We don’t have to go too fast. We can take it slow and—oof!”
In two strides Deke has me up in his arms. I throw mine around his shoulders and hang on. Behind us, Rafe and the rest of his pack are grinning. Rafe nods, and Lance winks and gives me a thumbs up. Then Deke and I are in a garage.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask. My heart beats fast, adrenaline at war with anticipation. Normally I’d think it’s rude for a guy to scoop me off my feet and carry me off wherever he wants, but with Deke I’m happy to be along for the ride. “I don’t mind. I’m just curious.”
“My room. My bed. Now.”
He carries me up a flight of stairs and into a cavernous room with rough wooden beams crisscrossing a cathedral ceiling. There’s a California king sized bed right under the huge windows. It’s covered with a big white comforter, and the room is surprisingly neat. Or not so surprising, considering this is Deke, and he’s careful with his things.
Deke sets me down on the floor next to the bed.
Then he’s kneeling and gripping my middle. My shirt has ridden up, and his face presses into my belly.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his words muffled against my skin. “I’m sorry.” My sweet savage werewolf.
“Deke,” I stroke his silky dark hair. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You had a bad episode. It happens—to humans, too. We can work through it.”
He huffs out a sigh and squeezes me tighter.
“It’s okay.” I slide my hand along his jaw, lifting his face to mine. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”
The bunched muscles in his shoulders lift and fall as he sighs. Deke rises, lifting me at the same time. He lays me down on the big bed, and I sink into the fluffy white comforter.
“I want you to know how much you mean to me.” He moves over me, pining my wrists in a dominant yet somehow gentle move. “I need you to know.” He kisses down my neck and licks the same spot over and over. Then he turns his head to the side and groans.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“I need to mark you, Sadie. If you’re really sure you want me.”
“I want you,” I promise.
“You have to be sure. Once I mark you, I’ll never let you go.”
“Mark me.” I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.
His big body shudders over me. “Fuck,” he rasps. “How did I get so lucky?” And then he’s kissing me again, pulling up my shirt so that he can scrape his teeth along my breasts. Given what he just told me, I’m nervous but that doesn’t stop my body from succumbing to pleasure.
He works his way down, kissing my belly, peeling off my jeans and rubbing his full face against my pussy. He pulls aside my panties and licks me, pinning my thighs down with his big hands, so I can’t snap them together. Not that I want to. My hips are rising, grinding, offering up my lady parts to his tongue. His rough stubble scrapes deliciously over my smooth skin, sending pleasure-pain signals sizzling to my brain. My neurons short circuit, catch fire, shoot sparks. My werewolf is eating me in the best way.
My what a big tongue you have…
I come with a howl and jackknife in half, folding over Deke’s head. He growls, sending a fresh wave of adrenaline tingling to my fingertips. He unwraps a condom and rolls it on. Then his big body rears over me, his cock nudging its blunt head between my tender folds. I’m super wet for him, but I hiss as he stretches me and arch again as he bottoms out so deep inside me I can taste him.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I chant as his hips rock forward. The slow drag of his cock in and out lights up the pleasure center of my brain. But the real magic comes when his giant rod batters the back of my womb, hitting some crazy arousal spot. Deke’s deeper inside me than anyone’s ever been, and it’s ringing my bell. Ding, ding, ding, you win an orgasm! Carnival lights flash behind my eyes. I can only lie beneath him, body shuddering with each constant wave of climax, as he saws in and out of me. Each thrust bangs the headboard against the wall. I thought this bed looked sturdy, but I shouldn’t have underestimated the intensity of a werewolf screw. Deke works over me, every muscle in his chest standing out in relief as he bares his teeth and fucks me deep. Fire dances in his dark emerald eyes.
“Mine,” he growls. His hand slides up my chest until his fingers collar my throat. “Only mine.”
Yes! I want to shout, but my mouth is lax. The constant stream of orgasms is destroying me.
In my haze, I see Deke’s mouth yawning open in a roar. His teeth are whiter and longer than ever, the canines sharp and elongated. Time spirals slower, and everything in me clenches in anticipation of his bite.
Deke roots himself deep, groaning. His fangs graze the top of my shoulder. I sense him shaking, and I realize it’s from the effort of holding back.
“Do it,” I whisper. The dangerous scrap of his teeth awakens something primal in me. I reach up and grasp the back of his neck. “Yes.”
But the muscles of his neck are taut under my palm. He tosses his head back and forth, fighting himself.
“Do it. Do it now,” I whisper. He keeps thrusting, the force of his movement making the headboard beat against the wall in a booming rhythm. I dig my nails into his shoulders, marking him. “Do it!”
Deke rears back, his canines glinting and then snaps his head forward, sinking his fangs deep into my shoulder. Pain and pleasure slice through me, the sensations swelling and filling me with light and heat and flashes of fire.
“Yes,” I pant against the deep ache in my shoulder. “Yes.”
Deke withdraws, and the pain in my protesting muscle dissolves, sending white hot streaks of lightning sizzling to my core.
This is it. This is forever.