SWNOVELS Alpha’s Moon: Chapter 15
Sadie
I’m half asleep when the creepy laughter fills my dreams. Deke jerks awake next to me, launching out of bed.
I half sit up. “What?”
The canned laughter sounds again.
A terrifying growl shakes my walls, and I realize what’s happening.
“No! Deke!” I shout. Too late. The black wolf flies at my closet, his nails scraping down the wood. It rises on hindlegs to tear open the door. Snarls fill the air.
“Deke!”
Oh crap! He thinks someone’s lurking inside, and he’s trying to protect me.
I get out of bed, intent on stopping him, but the snarls are too frightening. I remember Deke’s warnings, his fear of hurting me. I’d be stupid to get between him and the perceived danger right now.
A crashing sound echoes off my walls as the wolf fights my closet doors and wins. Then an awful chuffing sound—the sound of a wolf devouring a stuffed toy.
“Deke.”
Adrenaline flashes through me. I reach over and flip on the lights just in time to see the wolf toss the torn jackalope up into the air. It finishes it off with a snap. When he turns his great head my way, he looks like a rabid animal—no sign of humanity burns at all in that glowing green gaze.
“Oh. My. God,” I whisper. My whole body shakes. Torn bits of fluff and fake fur float in the air, coat the floor, my bed, the walls.
One of my closet doors hangs askew on its hinges. The other is in pieces on the floor. My color-organized cardigans are half off their hangers.
It took Deke the wolf thirty seconds to commit this act of destruction.
I press a hand over my left breast, willing my heart to sink back into my chest.
The thing about me being dangerous, Sadie—it’s real.
I didn’t believe him when he told me before, but I believe it now. There’s a predator in my bedroom, and if for some reason it turns on me, I wouldn’t stand a chance. I wouldn’t survive.
“Deke,” I whisper. “Come back to me.”
A growl rises from the black shape in the corner. The wolf backs away, tossing its head like it’s trying to jostle something loose. Then a long, low whine. The pained sound makes my heart clench. The man inside realized what he’d done.
There’s a groan, and Deke rises, back in man form.
“Fuck,” he says, casting a horrified glance around the room. “Sadie.”
I’m pressed back against the headboard so hard, my spine’s fused with it. I’m trembling so hard my muscles hurt. His feral growls still echo in my ears.
“Did I hurt you?”
He takes a step towards me, and I flinch. He sees and flinches himself.
“It’s okay,” I say quickly.
“No. No, it’s not. I could’ve killed you,” he says. “Fuck. Fuck!” the last time comes out a roar. I can’t help my whimper.
He looks down at the wreckage strewn over the floor then back at me. “I’m sorry, Sadie.” His voice cracks. “Now you see. I can’t do this,” he mutters. “I’m not safe.”
I can’t bring myself to leave the bed, but I can keep my voice steady. “Deke, look at me.”
He does, and a small inhuman whine escapes him, sounding like a dog who’s been kicked. Or a wolf.
I lower my hands from my heart and my mouth. I’m safe. I was just scared. My heartbeat is already slowing.
“Deke. No. Deke…it’s okay—”
He turns and leaves. I scramble off my bed, grabbing a blanket to toss around my shoulders. “Wait!”
My front door slams open. I run out of my bedroom, but I’m too late.
“Deke,” I cry. The neighbor’s dog next door is going crazy, but there’s no sign of Deke.
His car is still in front of my place, parked at the curb. No Deke. I run down my front path. “Deke!”
A giant black wolf runs down my street, leaping my neighbor’s decorative fence and skidding crazily over the lawn. The last I see of its dark shape is the fanned tail and pointed ears heading into the hills.
Deke
I could’ve fucking killed her. My paws beat over the ground in a constant rhythm. I run until they’re bloody, leaving wet tracks on the red earth until my shifter healing kicks in. The stinging stops for a little while, but another mile, and the rocks on the trail slice through my paws, and I bleed again.
This is the end. This is what I deserve—to run to the ends of the earth. Would that the world were flat, so I could leap over the edge. I will run until I die or until I can think of a better punishment.
Dawn breaks, and I pause in my quest. I’m on a mountain peak, surrounded by red boulders. The air is thin enough to make me lightheaded. I throw back my head, savoring the haziness in my mind. A sort of drunkenness, separating me from the pain. When clarity comes, I remember: I can never go back to Sadie.
My wolf howls and howls and howls until there’s no other sound in the world.
Sadie
Dawn comes and sheds a thin, sad light on the wreckage of my bedroom. I clean it up the best I can, just for something to do. I’m a kindergarten teacher, I’m used to cleaning up messes. At least this one doesn’t involve peanut butter or scissors in the hands of a six year old.
But I’ll never forget the savage rage, the growl in the darkness.
He’s a werewolf. This was never going to work.
The closet doors aren’t salvageable, so they go outside into the trash. My shredded cardigans, same. All that’s left of the damn jackalope is mostly bits of black fabric and cotton fluff. I vacuum and then get dressed to go to school. Not ideal, but I have no idea what else to do. I don’t know where to look for Deke. The desert? The pound? The other option is to sit in my apartment and cry.
Not an option. But I do get a little sniffly when I walk outside. Deke’s Mercedes is still parked at my curb. Inside my house are his keys and his phone, all his stuff. If he comes back for it, he won’t be able to get it unless I’m here.
He will come back for it, right? I hope so, but a part of me is terrified he won’t. A part of me fears he’s gone for good.
Deke
I run until night falls, and then I run some more.
I’m loping down the side of a mountain when a giant black wolf with amber orange markings stalks across my path. My alpha.
I skid on my aching paws. Rafe lowers his head, sniffing me. I stay still on stiff limbs. I didn’t eat today. My wolf made me drink, but I’m weak. My body trembles.
A second and third wolf rise from the brush and flank me. I’m surrounded. If I want to continue my quest, I’ll have to fight it out, and in my weakened state, I’ll lose.
I don’t want to fight. I lower my head. Lances presses forward and licks at my side, cleaning away blood from a wound I got from tearing against a rock. On my right side, Channing presses his shoulder against mine, bracing me.
My wolf relaxes in the presence of the pack. These are my brothers, for better or worse. They heard my call, and they came.
We point our noses to the moon and howl. They sing for a brother found, but I cry for what I’ve lost.
Sadie
Two days pass with no sign or word from Deke. I finally cave and phone a friend. Not all of them, just Adele. I can’t take a full Inquisition.
As soon as I open my door for her, Adele knows something is wrong.
“What happened?” she asks.
I press my lips together to keep the tears back, and she pulls me into a hug. “Sadie, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m okay,” I sniffle.
“No, you’re not.” Adele pulls back and studies me. “That asshole. I will end him.”
“No, don’t do that.”
“Tell me everything.”
So I do. I leave out the part about Deke being a werewolf, but I tell her everything else. The trip, the flirting, the wedding. The sex—of course I skim over those details. “We were all over each other,” I summarize, my cheeks hot.
“Hmm,” Adele murmurs, swirling her wine. Totally non-judgemental. “And he was a total gentleman?”
“Yes. I mean, he’s intense.” I blush red as Adele’s wine. “Especially in bed. But I liked that. Things were fine. He told me about his past, his arrest, and we talked about it. He has PTSD from his service to our country. Sometimes it triggers violence. I was willing to work through it with him.” Crap, now I have to tell her the worst of it.
“But then he…”
“He what?”
“It was the toy. The stupid jackalope. It’s been malfunctioning, and it went off in the middle of the night, and Deke…went crazy.”
Adele goes still. I swallow. “He didn’t hurt me. But he….he thought it was a threat. He wrecked my closet. And destroyed the toy before I could stop him.”
“Well.” Adele sits back in her seat.
“So that was early Monday,” I finish. “When he realized what he’d done, he was devastated. He told me he’s too dangerous, and he took off. I haven’t seen him since. I did leave a voicemail at his office.” There was no answer. I spent last night by the window, waiting, wondering who else to call. “It’s been two days. I’m worried.”
Adele rubs her forehead, an unusual gesture for her normally poised self. She looks tired tonight, the shadows dark as bruises under her eyes. “This is a lot.”
“I know.” I bite my lip, desperate to defend Deke. But I need a cool head to weigh in on things. My instincts when it comes to men are all messed up.
“You care about him.” The statement is more a question.
“I do. He’s…he makes me strong. He never tells me what to do. Never tries to control me.” Not like Scott and my dad. “He gives me space to be who I am. He likes who I am.” I search for words to articulate who Deke is to me. It’s impossible. A few days, and Deke has changed my whole life. “I feel stronger with him. But this violence in him… I know he won’t hurt me, but my instincts might be screwed up.”
“He has PTSD—it’s common in vets.”
“Yeah.”
“Can he talk to anyone about it?”
I shrug.
Adele’s voice hardens. “He needs to talk about it. He needs to do something to fix this. He’s dangerous. His first instincts should be to keep you safe.”
“I think they are. That’s why he destroyed the toy.”
“But you could’ve been hurt. He’s willing to fight others on your behalf. But will he fight his own demons?”
Outside, a truck with a big engine rumbles past my house. If Deke’s ride wasn’t parked outside my house, I’d run out to see if it was him.
But then there’s a knock on the door.
“Miss Diaz?” A deep voice calls. I head towards the door, peeking out the window as I do. It’s Rafe. A khaki-colored Humvee idles in the cul-de-sac, Lance behind the wheel.
Adele rips the door open before I can get to it. “What do you want?” she says in a frosty tone that would cow lesser men.
Rafe doesn’t cower. He does stand up straighter, like he’s in the presence of a commanding officer. “I’m here to pick up Deke’s ride.”
“Is he all right?” I quaver.
“He’ll be okay, Sadie. We found him, brought him home.”
I go and grab Deke’s keys, but instead of returning them to Rafe I grip them tight. “I want to see him.”
“I know you do,” Rafe says patiently. “But it’s not a good idea.”
“I just want to know that he’s okay.” My voice catches. Adele puts a steadying hand on my back.
Rafe angles his head to the side, a very wolf-like movement. His eyes glitter strangely in the low light. “Deke can’t be with you.”
Adele takes a breath, and I know she’s gearing up to protest, to defend me. Rafe holds up a hand, stalling her.
“It’s not you, Sadie. He can’t be with anyone. He’s not relationship material.” He holds out his hand for Deke’s keys. I relinquish them, shoulders slumping as I do. My eyes burn with tears. The clink of metal is so final. It’s really over.
“I’m sorry, Sadie,” Rafe says softly, more gently than I’d believe he could sound. “It’s better this way.”
“Goodbye,” Adele snaps and shuts the door in his face. I wait, crying as silently as I can, until the rumbling from both vehicle’s engines recedes before falling into her arms.