SWNOVELS Chapter 32
Chapter 32
“Derek…”
As Derek was about to leave the room after the doctor was gone, I called his name, stopping him from leaving. He turned to me. His eyes lingered on me and I think he already knew what I’m going to tell him. But still he said nothing as he waited for me to speak.
“I… I don’t want Lucias to know… please…” I almost begged him. No, I just begged him. Derek lowered his head but said nothing. I know he’s not going to keep any secret from his alpha but still, I wanted to ask him.
“I’m sorry, Luna. I know you are thinking about running away from him again but please don’t do it… I don’t know what will happen to him if you leave him again.. And please, don’t risk yourself now. you are pregnant again.” Derek said before leaving the room. How does he know that I’m planning to run away? And I’m thinking about it? Maybe he had guessed it already. Him guessing that means that Lucias also knows it
I stared at the entrance of the room after Derek left. Then I saw Lisa coming into the room with food… once again. I can’t bring myself not to eat anymore. I’m pregnant… I should be more careful about myself and the child. I’m not alone anymore. I didn’t want to eat but still, I ate the food Lisa brought into the room. After I was done eating, Lisa looked at me and smiled.
“Congratulations, Luna. It’s good to have another baby, isn’t it?” Lisa smiled. It’s good…
It’s good to have another baby and I love it but this.. This is not the right time for a baby to come. This is not a good time. Why couldn’t this baby come a bit later? After I found a way to leave Lucias? I didn’t answer Lisa, I just turned my head and stared out of the window wondering what I’m going to do now. I already have a son and now I’m pregnant again. Their age gap wouldn’t be big because when this child will be born, Luan will be third. Raising small children is hard. I can’t do it alone.
-Although I raised Luan alone, I can’t bring myself to believe that I would be able to raise this baby in my belly and Luan at once since they are both small. I need the support for it and the only person who can support it is their father but… I just want to leave him. I might be selfish and cruel but how can I stay with Lucias forgetting the things that happened? Not after, I learnt his true colors, Not after realizing that he’s been betraying me all the time while I was with him. I have no idea what to do now and how to face this situation. Once Lucias finds out that I’m
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pregnant again, he will not leave me. He will not just let me leave either. He will do everything to make sure that I will stay with him. Increase the security and decrease the possible chances for me to run away. I know what kind of man he is…
“Lina, are you pregnant?”
It didn’t even take much time for me to hear Lucias’ voice as it pierced my thoughts and pulled me back to reality. I faced his direction. He was carrying Luan and his eyes were filled with excitement. I know that he likes and he will love the fact that I’m pregnant again. I looked away from Lucias and looked at my baby who’s sleeping on his shoulder. I raised my arms wanting to take him to me. With that, Lucias came and gave me Luan. He was sleeping. I don’t know what kind of things he went through. I hugged him tightly while my eyes were covered with tears. I can’t even imagine how scared my baby was. I can’t even bring myself to think about it.
I inhaled the scent of him while burying my face in his n*eck. How scared I was? I thought… I thought I just lost my baby. Without doing anything that could wake him up, I placed him on the bed beside me. I knew Lucias was still looking at me and I felt his gaze on me but move my eyes to him. I just had nothing to
talk about. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.
“What do you want to do, Emilina? Leave me?” Suddenly, I heard Lucias’ voice. He sounded broken and devastated.
I faced him. Seeing me, looking at him, he forced a smile and sighed before sitting on the bed. Did he just ask me if I wanted to leave him?
“L… I want to have nothing with you anymore.” The brutal words sl*pped out of my mouth. My own words burned my whole heart. It was painful and merciless. It didn’t shift my gaze from him. He remained silent, lowering his head, He waited almost two minutes and then looked at me.
“Okay, I will arrange everything for you and them…” Why did his words feel like sharp blades through my chest? Did he just agree to let me go? Did he really? I thought he wouldn’t let me leave because now I’m pregnant with his second child. I thought he would force me to stay with him. I averted my gaze as the tears filled in my eyes.
How can I just be with him when my heart is already broken? I just can’t forget anything I’ve read in that letter. He must have had reasons for everything but why? Why did he do something like that to me? Why couldn’t he say a word? Just like I guessed, he rejected me in order to get married to someone else. Either willingly of unwilling… he did it. I never knew what happened in the past and what was the
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reason for everything but from what I learnt and felt, he was willing to marry her. And he didn’t even deny that he wrote the letter.
“I… know you don’t want to see me… I’m sorry for everything that happened. I’m just so f u c k i n g sorry, Lina… I will arrange a house and everything for you and I promise that I won’t come. I won’t bother you or come to your sight just like you want…” Lucias got up from the bed, after saying it. Why is this so painful? We met after years and we got back together but now we are going to separate.
This is painful for real but I need to keep my mind relaxed and peaceful because I’m pregnant. Being with him will do nothing but remind me of the things he did. and all the painful things I got to know. I don’t want to experience that. When I was first pregnant, I was completely lost and now even in the second time, the same thing happened. Why am I so unlucky?
All I could think was that I’m such an unlucky woman. Why do all the bad things happen to me? Maybe the way I talked to him was so rude. I was heartless wasn’t I? I saw the way his eyes held the most painful emotions as I talked to him. Even in the yesterday and today. I can’t believe that I became this cruel and heartless towards him. But I just couldn’t control myself even after knowing all the things. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This… this just feels as if I’m snat c h i n g the fatherly love and the father from Luan. It feels as if I’m going to make Luan lose his dad. I know that Luan loves Lucias so much, so is Lucias.
“Why did you do that to me? Were you always thinking in that way while I was with you? Thinking that I was dumb, weak and emotional?” When I looked at Lucias, he was already staring at me.
I don’t know what might be his answer but maybe he was right… I must have really been weak, dumb and emotional. I just loved him too much and I know that I was always emotional when it came to him. And yes, I’m weak. I can’t match with his strength, I am just not strong enough to be with Luna of the strongest Alpha. Maybe he was right about everything and maybe Isabella was the one who’s matched to be his luna. But why did he fool me by showing fake love? He had to tell me the truth and reject me on the day we found out that we were mates. He c
could’ve done that but why did he marry me and give me a best wedding before rejecting me? We even spent our wedding night… he didn’t have to take me that far if he was planning to abandon me like that. Did he ever think about how it would affect me? I forgave him and was with him after we met but the scar he made was still there in my heart and now it just became worse.
wasn’t… I wouldn’t have treated you like the way I treated you when you were with me, if I ever found you were dumb and weak” really? He wouldn’t have? Then
Chapter 32
what? Why do all these things happen?
“You rejected me for her… didn’t you?” He came near me and stared right into my eyes as his hand moved to caress my face. His gaze was filled with expression which was so hard to understand. I don’t know what he was thinking.
“No, I rejected you for you. Why would I reject you for another random woman?” A so b escaped from me and I covered my face with my hands shaking my head. Why? Why are his words making me cry and feel so hurt? He rejected me for me? What did he even mean by that? I don’t understand… mauve I’m so dumb not to understand anything he’s saying. As I cried, I felt him stroking my head, his fingers. sl*pped into my hair and stroked my head lovingly.
“It’s okay Lina… I can understand what you are thinking. You are pregnant now and you need to maintain a peaceful mind, so I’ll let you go. I’m staying close to you will never give you peace…”