Alpha Alexa

Alexa's POV

Pain. Everything was pain. My entire body was in pain. I could smell and feel Colter. He had a hold of my hand. I could feel the sparks. I don't remember a lot of what happened after they took me into that room and pinned my arms up.

“Girls are you there?" I linked my wolves.

I was met with silence. I tried several more times and got nothing and I couldn't feel them either.

They were gone. They did something to them. I started to cry and hadn't even opened my eyes.

“Princess, are you awake?” Colter was asking me. I could feel him getting closer to me.

I moved my head to the side of where he was and groaned out as I opened my eyes.

“Yes” I squeaked out.

“How do you feel?" He asked with a worried look on his face.

“My wolves they're gone, they won't answer me," I said as I started crying harder.

Tam sure they will be back. They are just sleeping from all of the vampire bites.”

As s00n as he said that I remembered the baby. The vampires were trying to kill the baby.

“The pup?” I whispered questioning him.

He didn't say anything but the pain on his face and the tears in his eyes told me everything I needed to know. The pup was gone. I started sobbing and pulled my body into myself.

“Princess, I am so sorry. I am sorry that I left, and didn’t answer your mind links. This is my fault. What can I do?

What do you need?” He asked me.

“GO AWAY," I yelled at him.

“Please baby, let me be there for you. Let me help you."

“GO AWAY," I yelled again.

He got up and slowly turned and headed for the door. I heard the door close and that's when I really let my emotions take control and started sobbing. The pain I felt in my body was nothing that I felt in my heart now. I didn't have anything left. My father took a mate and a pup and my wolves. I was nothing now. The more I thought about it the harder it was getting to breathe. I was sucking in air and sobbing at the same time. I was starting to see black spots in my vision. I heard the door open, and people were coming to my bedside.

“Princess, breathe take a deep breath” Colter was telling in my face, but I just rolled away from him and continued to try anc suckin air as the spots were getting bigger. It didn't take long before it was complete blackness again.

I don't know how long I was out for but when I woke up

Colter was holding my hand and had his head laid on my bed asleep. I tried to link my wolves again, but it was still silent. This caused me to start crying again. As much as my body hurt, I had to roll away from Colter. I couldn't face him yet. He moved slightly when I rolled over, but he didn't wake up.

“Moon goddess why? Why did you give me this life? I am not strong enough for this. I need my wolves; they are part of who I am. Please let me have them back” I prayed to the moon goddess. I didn't know what else to do.

I watched as the sun came up and my room was brightly lit. I felt Colter sit up from lying on my bed and he started to run his hand over my back. He was crying, I could hear it. I still couldn't face him. I let his pup die. I wasn't strong enough to stop them, he would hate me forever. I just laid there as still as possible hoping that he wouldn't know I was awake. He finally got up and went to the bathroom. I heard the shower kick on and I knew I had a few minutes to myself.

The first thing I needed to do was figure out a way to get Jade and Storm back. I also needed to get back to our pack. I needed to get started on finding my father. He was going to pay for everything he had done to me and everyone else. It was going to be slow and painful. The shower kicked off and a few minutes later Colter walked out.

“Good morning Princess. How are you feeling?” He asked me.

“I want to go back to our pack house now; I told him.

“You need to rest and to feel better. I know you are still in pain.”

“I don't care about that. I need to go back to the pack house. Either you take me, or I will do it myself” I said sitting up. It hurt like a b***h but the pain in my heart still outweighed the physical pain my body felt.

“Let me get the doctor” He said and turned and walked out the door.

A few minutes later a doctor walked in with Colter and neither one of them looked very happy.

“Alpha Alexa, I hear you want to go home to your pack house.” He said

“Yes!”

“I don't think that is a wise choice. You need to stay here and be monitored a little longer”

“Am I in any danger that I could die?" I asked him.

“Well no, but we want to make sure that doesn’t change and that your pain is well controlled.” He said back to me.

“Nothing is going to control what I feel, so please just give me some pain for the ride home and I will be fine. We have doctors at my pack also”

He nodded his head and walked out of the room. Colt came over to me and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“I don't like this idea, but if that is what you want then that is what we will do. Mac will be here soon with some clothes.”

I got up from the bed with every inch of my body screaming at me but I wanted a shower. I made it to the bathroom and turned the shower on. I ripped the IV from my arm and tore at the gown on me so that it was laying on the floor. I stepped into the hot water and winced at the water hitting all of my wounds. My arm was in some type of brace so I took that off and threw it out on the floor. I found the soap and started to lather up my body and rinse it off me. It was running down the drai tinged brown from the old blood on my body.

I finally was done and stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I dried the best that I could and walked over to the sink and found a toothbrush and toothpaste and brushed my teeth. Once I was done I dropped my towel to see what damage was done to my body. I had bite marks covering everywhere on me. My arms and legs were bruised and when I looked down at my stomach it was black with bruising. The pain I felt in my heart intensified. I dropped to the floor and brought my knees to my chest and let my tears consume me.

“Princess, please don’t cry. It will be ok, I promise.” Colter said as soon as he came into the room. He sat down and pulled me into his lap but I don't know why he was being so nice, I let his pup die.

I got off his lap and found my clothes on the sink and started to put them on. It was a struggle as every movement hurt but I managed to get them. I walked back out into my room with Colter behind me. The doctor was standing there holding a bottle of pills and a water bottle.

“Take two of these now and again you can take more in three hours if you are in any pain. Please have a doctor look you ove when you get home, and just know that I am against this."

I walked over to him and took the pills from him and water and took two. He turned and left the room.

“Come on Princess, let's go home,” Colt said, taking my hand but I pulled away and walked to the car beside him.

We got to the car and Mac was sitting in the driver's seat waiting to drive us home. Colter opened the back door for me to ge in and when I was finally in, I turned to him. He looked as broken as I felt but I couldn't handle his kindness right now.

“Go sit up front with Mac. I am going to lay down back here."

He leaned in real close so only I would hear him and said” Princess let me hold you. I need you right now, please.”

“No, I just need to lie down,” I told him. The look of hurt shone on his face and he did nothing to hide it. He slammed my door shut and stomped over to the front door and got in. I saw Mac shoot him a questioning look but didn't say anything, he just back the car up and took off.

llaid down and my tears started again. I thought I had cried them all out, but I was wrong. They seemed to start so easily. I cried until I fell asleep again. I was woken up when the back door was opened, and Colter was there trying to pick me up from the seat.

“I can walk? I told him as I sat up wincing in pain.

“You're in pain, let me help you please” He said

Ijust pushed him aside and slide out of the car. As soon as my feet hit the ground Sloane was there wrapping her arms around me and started crying.

“Lex, don't ever scare me like that again.” She said quietly to me.

“Take me to your room, please. I need to be alone." I linked her.

She dropped her arms from around me and took my hand and we walked into the house and up to her floor. When we got to her room Colter cleared his throat to get our attention.

“Where are you going? You need to be checked by the doctor* He said.

“Please just leave Cotler;" I told him as the tears were staring again.

He stood there staring at me with tears in his eyes as well, but Sloane had opened her door and I walked inside. As soon as the door shut, I could hear Colter let out a loud roar and punch the wall. Sloane pulled me to her bed and laid down with me. I laid my head on her chest and just cried.

She ran her fingers through my hair telling me it would be ok, but I knew it wouldn't.

“Tell me what happened. Why are you pushing Colter away?" She finally asked me.

“Because I got his pup killed. He should hate me. He shouldn't be this nice to me!” I sobbed.

“OH Lex, that is not true. You did everything you could, he loves you and just wants you to be ok."

“No Sloan, I could have fought harder. If I wouldn't have gone out in those woods none of this would have happened and I would still be pregnant”

“Lex, you are the strongest person I know, and you will be ok. I promise you that Colter loves you and will not stop loving you. You are literally killing him by pushing away."

“Sloane my wolves are gone. They won't answer me and I can't feel them” I sobbed. I couldn't control the crying.

“They will be back. It's because of all the vampire bites.

They are trying to heal. Vampire bites make them sick; you know this.”

“What if they turned me and they are gone forever?”

“Then you will be hybrid, but your wolves will be back I promise you."

We didn't talk anymore but she did just lay there holding me while I cried. My eyes were on fire from crying so much and getting really hard to keep open. I finally closed them and let myself sleep. I didn't know what time it was but I could feel someone picking me up, and then I felt the sparks.

“Please don't hate me I whispered to him."

“Princess, I would never hate you. I love you so much it hurts. want to make you feel better. I will do anything you want me to." He said as he walked out of the room. He walked us up to our room and took me to bed and laid down with me.

He started to rub his hand up and down my back as I snuggled into him more.

“Princess just sleep for now and get better”

It didn't take long for me to go back to sleep.

I woke up to Colter shaking me and yelling at me.

“Alexa, wake up. It's just a dream, you're safe” He was saying.

Isat up gasping for air reliving the nightmare I had just had. He pulled me back down to him and started to rub my back again.

“Iam sorry I had a bad dream," I told him.

“You can tell me about it if you want." He said.

Ijust shook my head no and closed my eyes again. When I woke up in the morning Colter was still in bed with me. I rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. My body was still screaming at me but I didn't really care. I stepped into the shower and tried my wolves again.

“Girls please be there, please tell me you're ok"

“We're fine, will you let us rest a little more.” Jade linked back.

“0h, goddess you're really ok?”

“Yes, now will you let us finish healing ourselves.” Storm linked back.

“Iam sorry I just love you girls and was losing it without you."

“We know and we love you too. Now let us rest” Jade said.

I cut our link and started to take my hair down when Colter came into the shower with me.

“Why didn't you wake me?” He asked.

“Because you need your rest too."

“I want to take care of you. If you're awake then I am awake." He said. He grabbed my shampoo and placed some in his hand and nudged me under the water to get my hair wet. He proceeded to wash my hair and body and then his. He helped me out of the shower and wrapped me in a fluffy towel and we went back to the room.

“Breakfast will be up here soon." He said as he came up behind me and started to brush my hair out.

He wasn't kidding when he said he wanted to take care of me