All I Wish for Christmas

True to her word, Tilly began to loosen the reins on her friendship with Captain Tinsel, feigning other responsibilities or promising other friends that she would do something with them. At first, she noted that he seemed a bit concerned, asking if she was feeling alright. Not that ornaments got sick, but one never knew. She denied that anything was wrong, for how would she explain a broken heart to someone who didn’t understand her feelings?

Though it hurt her heart something terrible, she knew she couldn’t maintain a one-sided relationship. And so, she embarked upon making up for lost time, visiting her old friends and playing with Jesus and the other children more often. Sure, she continued her friendship with Captain, spending time with him as well, but she distanced herself considerably.

She went back to examining Alexa more often again, noting that the young woman she’d been introduced to so long ago was aging as well. Interestingly, Tilly realized that she’d been missing out on Alexa’s life these last few years, not taking the time to read her notes and mail nearly as often. She knew Alexa had a couple of boyfriends here and there over the years, but they didn’t seem all that serious.

Looking around Alexa’s office, alone for a change as Captain had other plans, she noticed several photos of Alexa and a somewhat familiar and very handsome man together. Sticky notes and cards mentioned him, and her calendar had “date night,” written in several places.

Alexa’s been going with this guy for..., she counted on her fingers, two years! How did I miss this? She admonished herself for being so oblivious to her surroundings. What else had she missed out on?

But staring at Alexa’s photo, looking so happy, made Tilly’s heart ache even more. Why was she not destined for love? All she ever wanted was love. She consistently wished for it each year with her whole heart and soul. Why couldn’t baby Jesus send her wish up to the heavens to grant? Why wouldn’t the powers beyond grant this for her?

These thoughts continued to permeate her mind night upon night, yet she stuffed them away as she played catch with the children, visited with Mary and Balthazar, and raced Oliver and Olivia to the top of the garland. But these questions were mostly on her mind when she was with Captain, listening to him read a new story or when she sat next to him at the peppermint ball soccer game.

Christmas week came and Tilly ventured into Alexa’s office where their life-bringer had left the computer monitor on for a change. The screensaver hadn’t yet turned on as Alexa had just left the office before retiring for the night, and Tilly curiously scanned the words left on the screen. It was an email from John, the handsome man Alexa referred to as her boyfriend in notes and letters.

Dear Alexa,I’m sorry for today, and I wish things would have gone smoother than they did. I didn’t mean for you to be so upset and I respect that you don’t want to talk to me anymore. But I just wanted to send you a message to apologize one more time and let you know that I enjoyed the time we had together, even if we were not meant to be. Sorry that our breakup had to happen just before Christmas, but I guess it was bound to happen one way or another.

Always, John

“Ohhh,” Tilly’s heart went out to Alexa. “That’s so sad. She seemed so happy with him.” If her mood was sour before, it truly was now, as Tilly made her way back to the living room. Not only was romantic love an impossibility for her, it was also gone for Alexa, too.

It didn’t take long for her friends to realize that something was really wrong with Tilly now, and a couple days later, as Tilly sat on a ceramic bale of hay watching Jesus while Mary went away for a bit, Glint dropped by the manger with Mary in tow.

“Hey lovely, how’s it going?” the flirtatious elf acknowledged Tilly as she cooed at the baby she held standing on her lap.

“Everything’s wonderful when Jesus is smiling!” Tilly gushed at the baby, then smiled up at her two friends.

“I’ve got him now, thanks Til,” Mary appreciatively took her baby in her arms preparing to rock him to sleep.

“Anytime,” Tilly replied with a little wave to Jesus who giggled back at her. Just as she stepped out of the manger, Glint caught up to her with his long legs.

“Hey, wait up!” Tilly slowed down a bit as Glint walked with her. “Got a minute?” he asked.

“Sure,” Tilly nodded, allowing the Elf on the Shelf to guide her away from the crowded living space.

Finally, they stopped under Alexa’s tall houseplant, seating themselves on the lip of the orange pot’s water overflow plate. “What’s up?” Tilly asked, noting the serious expression on the typically hyperactive elf’s face.

Glint blinked his bright blue-eyes a bit nervously, then cleared his throat, “Tilly, some of us—okay, all of us—have noticed that you haven’t quite been yourself lately. Well, more than lately, for a long while. But it’s gotten worse recently. I’m- we’re all worried about you.”

Tilly didn’t like to think about her problems—her heartache—if she didn’t have to. Burying it was much easier than facing it. And she didn’t feel like acknowledging it now to Glint, of all people. He was the Christmas equivalent of Cupid for Valentine’s Day, and there would be no way that the lady’s-man would understand how she felt. He’d probably never felt heartbreak in his entire life.

“I’m good, Glint. Really. I appreciate-”

But Glint stopped her. “No, Tilly. You’re not. I need you to at least be honest with me. I swear I won’t tell a soul if you don’t want me to, but you just have to let me help you. Please?”

He looked so kind and sincere as he wrapped his long arms around his long legs, bringing them to his chest as he leaned back against the terracotta pot. Tilly folded her arms, contemplating whether or not she should confide in him.

When he isn’t flirting or on dates with Miss Tooth, he is supposed to be watching the household to report happenings to Santa Claus, so maybe he is a little more aware of my problems, she thought. Taking a deep breath, she nodded, “Okay.”

She told him all about how she’d fallen in love with Captain Tinsel—literally and figuratively. How she tried so hard to make him love her, and finally, how Rose showed her how silly her aspirations for love really were.

The usually sunny elf’s expression turned into an unhappy frown as Tilly told her story, and at the end he jumped up from his seat and spat on the ground, “Darn her anyways!”

Tilly had never seen Glint angry, and she was a bit taken aback. She’d expected pity or sorrow, but not anger. “Glint, it’s okay. I’ve accepted myself for who I am and have moved on.”

“No, Tilly! You’re wrong!” Glint’s eyes bore into her and his face turned as red as his coat. “Rose, that venomous decoration, she wasn’t trying to help you when she said you don’t have a chance with Captain. She was being snarky. She knew that Captain saw you differently, and that meant you were competition for her. Don’t you see?”

Tilly almost laughed out loud, “Yeah right! You don’t have to say nice things to try and make me feel better. It’s okay. There’s no way I could compete against a beautiful angel like that. Look at me, Glint! I’m something out of a children’s story, all stubby and round. She’s, well... she looks just like the beautiful ladies in Alexa’s romance novels. And I’m just silly and cute.”

“Now you listen here!” Glint interrupted with fury, “You’re more of an angel than she’ll ever be, and you’re way more beautiful, inside and out, than that snob! Rose sits up there on top of the tree sticking her nose up at the rest of us as if we were uncouth and vulgar. She doesn’t even love Captain Tinsel. I’ve seen them together. She flirts with him in her own coy way, but she has no desire to love him. And to think she had the nerve to tell you that he couldn’t possibly want you!”

He had Tilly’s attention now. She hadn’t realized that he had it in him to be so upset. And the things he said about her—kind things—weren’t said in the fun, flirty way he usually did. He was serious.

“It always rubbed me wrong to see him pining away for her and giving her all kinds of pleasantries, when she isn’t really interested in him, not nearly as much as he’s interested in her. But, Tilly, I didn’t realize that you seriously had it bad for him! I don’t think any of us knew! And to know that she chased you off... Well, it takes the cake!”

He paced back and forth in front of Tilly who was perplexed by his anger and words. She wanted to interrupt with questions, but he didn’t give her time. Then he stopped, confronting her seriously, “Did you ever tell him how you felt?”

Ashamed, Tilly lowered her eyes and shook her head. She’d meant to, it just never felt like the right time.

“Why?” Glint exclaimed. “I thought you were the smart one out of all of us, the one who read all the brainy books! How the heck is he supposed to know that you love him if you don’t tell him?”

“I... uh, I thought it was just supposed to happen. If I told him, then I thought he’d feel obligated to love me back. But if he felt it in his heart,” Tilly touched her own, “then he wouldn’t need me to tell him first.”

Glint made a face and shook his head, “What if he was waiting for you to tell him that you liked him? What if he liked you all this time, but since you never made a move, he gave up hope that he could have more with you? Think about it, we all teased you relentlessly for weeks about him kissing your hand that first night. Did you ever give him one hint that you didn’t just want to be best friends?”

Tilly’s stomach dropped, realizing that Glint was right. “Oh no! That happens in romance novels all the time. Why was I so blind?” She planted her face in her tiny palms, feeling so stupid. Finally, she looked back up at her friend, who was watching her, “You know, Glint. Maybe Rose was right anyways. If I was too scared to open up to Captain myself, maybe I’m not right for him after all. And I just don’t understand why Rose would want to be so mean? It doesn’t make sense.”

Glint knelt down next to Tilly and took her hands in his, groaning in disgust. “Women like Rose don’t want anyone to be happy if they’re not. I don’t know why she’s like that, but you can’t let her ruin your love and friendships.” Pulling Tilly to her feet, Glint continued, “You’ll never know how he feels about you if you don’t tell him how you feel. Sure, things have changed a bit between you two since Rose came along, but there still might be some hope. You do still love him, right?”

Tilly blinked back at him as he stared pleadingly into her eyes. “Uh, yeah, I think so.” Then she smiled, “I do, Glint! It has hurt so bad trying to stop loving him, and as hard as I tried, I don’t think I was really successful in making myself stop. You think I might still have a chance?”

“Maybe, Tilly. Maybe. I hope so.”

“Alright! I’m going to do it. Thank you so much Glint, you’re the best!” She gave her friend a giant hug, then flew off to find Captain Tinsel.

Perhaps this Christmas would be the one. Maybe, just maybe, her nutcracker really would be hers this year.