Alec’s

Sleep doesn't come easily, even after taking a long-needed shower. I thought that washing off the tension in my weary bones would be enough, but it wasn't. I then decided to relax in the bathtub and not think about anything. I failed miserably. Two hours after a shower and a warm soak in the tub, I am still tossing and turning on the bed. Aspen is sound asleep; no care in the world. For a moment, I am jealous of my own daughter. She looks so at peace that I can't help but crave the same thing. It's been a long and tiring day, yet I can't sleep. My mind keeps racing, thinking of all the different scenarios, every possible outcome, every solution and every angle. I'm not just thinking about Alec's pack, I'm thinking about my own; I'm thinking about Kaden; I'm thinking about Nyx; about the woman that paid Calvin to drug me; about my birth parents; about my origins; and about Aspen's question.

I can't switch my brain off, no matter how hard I try. Like I said before, I am an overthinker, so it's hard to stop myself from thinking and overanalyzing everything, especially when I am stressed and have too much on my plate.

Groaning in annoyance and tiredness, I get up from bed carefully, making sure that I don't disturb and wake up Aspen. Slowly and silently, I tread to the window. I push the curtains open and just stare at the sky.

It's a clear night. The stars are out, and so is the half moon. I stare at the moon, already feeling its pull. I have roughly about fourteen or fifteen days before the full moon. I let out a breath, knowing what that meant. I can already feel its effect.

A lot is associated with a full moon. Unlike what humans believe, we don't only turn on the full moon, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its effect on us. During the full moon, our senses are heightened, and our animal side is stronger. It's during the full moon that packs usually go on pack runs and hunt. We also howl at the moon, in a kind of acknowledgment and prayer to our goddess for yet another cycle.

That isn't what I am worried about, though. During the full moon, she-wolves that have found their mates usually go into heat. We are part animals, and because of that, three days a month, we go into heat. Heat is usually at its peak during the full moon, which also happens to be the second day of our heat cycle.

We are also most fertile during our heat.

Just like with animals, our scent changes and attracts any male near us. I've heard that even human men aren't immune to our heat. They don't usually understand it. All they know is that there is something that pulls them to us. Attracts them on a sexual level. Just like with animals, only sex can ease the fire that lights up during heat. Heat is simply the need to be mated, or, in simpler words, to be fucked until you are well spent and can't walk straight.

The tricky thing is that, even though

we are basically sex on legs during heat, only your mate can ease that ache. Another man can't satisfy that sexual volcano that is ready to erupt if you don't put a lid on it. I've heard women say that our bodies literally reject any male who is not our mate. I've also heard it's nearly impossible to resist your mate and vice versa.

Now you see where my concern is. This full moon will be my first heat cycle. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with it? I can't and won't sleep with Alec. I don't want to. So how am I supposed to resist him? How the hell am I supposed to fight something that's basically my nature? Movement catches my eye, and I momentarily forget my current concerns. Even without my heightened vision, I would recognize him anywhere. After all, I've been in love with him since I was ten.

"Looks like you are not the only one struggling to find sleep," Nyx pops in, almost making me jump. I didn't think I'd hear from her anytime soon.

I nod my head and continue to

watch Alec. I'm unable to tear my gaze from him even as he begins to take off his clothes. Slowly by slowly, as if he's giving a strip show, or maybe it's just my dirty mind and the beginning effects of my heat, he takes them off until he doesn't have a stitch of clothing on.

"He's an asshole, but you have to admit he has a nice ass," Nyx says, our eyes still fixed on him.

I don't want to admit it, but it's true. To be honest, have never seen Alec fully naked. Sure, I've seen him shirtless and in a pair of boxers, but that's as far as I've gone. I know it's weird given we are wolves, but unlike what many believe about us, we just don't go strutting around naked for everyone to see. Yes, we aren't bothered about being nude, but that doesn't mean we go around flashing others.