Alec’s

She moves, smiles and kisses my cheek. "I close the door."

My clever, sneet munchkin. I chuckle as I correct her. "It's closed the door, honey."

"Close," she repeats it wrong again.

"Closed" "Close"

I give up. I help her get inside the bathtub. It's after she's in that I realize that I miscalculated. How am I supposed to wash with only one hand? I'd been so focused on everything else that I completely forgot that one arm was in a cast. Sighing, I debate on whether I should call Martha, but then after a while I decide against it. It can't be that hard.

I start with her hair, as she tells me about her day. It takes a little bit longer than usual, but I manage. After that, I wash her body, just as slowly as I did with her hair. I drain the water before twisting the tap for more. She likes soaking and just playing with her toys so I let her sit for a while.

"Mommy," she suddenly turns to me all serious.

"Yes, baby?"

"Where is daddy?"

My heart stops for a second as I try to process what she asked me. I'm frozen as I watch her wide green eyes staring at me, waiting for an answer.

We have never had this discussion before. She has never asked, and I've never bothered to with it. I knew that when she got older, she would ask questions, but I just planned to tell her that her dad and I weren't together. I know it wasn't the best answer, but I would have crossed

that bridge when I got there.

My movements become jerky as I help her get out of the tub and dry her. I wasn't ready to have this conversation. I mean, what would I tell her? That her dad is here, but he didn't want her? That he almost ended both our lives?

My heart races and icicles fill my veins. My hands are shaking and she notices. I take a calming breath, trying to push down the fear. I don't want her to see how her question nearly gave me a heart attack.

Wrapped in a towel, I lead her to the

bedroom and then set her on the bed. I fetch her pajamas and help her get dressed. I am silent, but my brain is scrambling to come up with a reasonable answer. I don't want to lie to her, but I also don't want to tell her the truth. She's still too young. I don't want to break her little heart. Not that it won't break even when she's older, and she finds out the truth, but you get the point, right?

"Mommy?" I release breath knowing that she's still waiting for an answer.

Of course, she's seen other children with dads in our pack, but she's never asked where her dad is.

"Sweetie, why are you asking?" It was a deflection and not an answer, but it's all I had right now. My brain seems to have completely stopped working.

"My frend asked... he say everyone has a daddy," she answers. "But I don't," she looks down as she says the last part, and that just breaks my heart.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I curse all the way

to the moon and back. I guess I know why she asked. None of the children in our pack ever bothered, so it never raised her curiosity. This child, though, did by telling her that everyone has a father.

I stare at her wide green eyes, and I don't know what to tell her. I don't know how to answer her, or if I should even tell her that she's already met her father and made a connection with him.

I got lost in my mind, trying to come up with something to say. I must have taken too long because I'm brought back to the present by her light snores. Am I terrible for feeling relief that she fell asleep?

I move her under the covers and just lay by her side. I know my daughter. Now that the idea is stuck in her head, she'll keep asking until she gets her answers, and that scares me more than having to go up against an evil demi-god.