SWNOVELS Acts of Atonement: Chapter 9
IT’S BEEN A WEEK since Bella and the boys moved in and I’ve done my best to stay away from her after that stunt I pulled in her room. I swear that shit came out of left field—I was like a man possessed. The way her eyes kept roving over my body paired with her scent and close proximity pushed me over the edge. I couldn’t hold back if I tried.
I don’t know what I was thinking putting her in a room just down the hall from me. Fucking masochist.
The kiss we shared keeps playing in my mind on repeat and I’m walking around with a perpetual hard-on. Thank fuck I’m working from home. There haven’t been any additional attacks on Bella and I’ll have to head into the office this week—so I’ll need to get this tenting issue under control before then.
Either I completely walk away from her for good or I let myself give in. Just once. Just to get her out of my system. So far walking away hasn’t been very effective. It’s just made me miserable and unable to focus.
The more I think about it, the more it seems okay to have just one taste… just one sweet dip into her delicious honey and I’ll be over whatever this is.
I’ve been with quite a few women in my life and none—absolutely none—have made me crazy with desire like Bella. This is seriously worse than being a horny teenager. I can’t escape her. Her scent is everywhere, reminding me of just how good she tastes.
A knock at the front door interrupts my thoughts of Bella. I wonder who it could be since I wasn’t expecting any company and the security out front hasn’t alerted us to any visitors. As I’m approaching the door, I see a familiar head of blond hair.
Hell. No.
“Heather, what the hell are you doing here?” I glower while pulling the door open with more force than necessary.
“I wanted to see you and Harper. Is that too much for a wife and mother to ask?” Showing no signs of remorse for walking out on us, Heather steps past me and into the foyer.
“You have some balls, Heather. We have a hearing on Thursday. Anything you want to discuss with me you can do it there, with our attorneys present. As far as your relationship with Harper goes, you’re the one who decided to terminate parental rights. Or did you forget?” I move to stand in front of her, blocking any further access to the home.
“I didn’t forget, but I’ve changed my mind. It would be crazy to cut all ties with my beautiful daughter. Such a well-behaved baby, and anyway, she is the spitting image of me after all.” Plastering on a fake smile, Heather flips her hair as if Harper’s accolades are all her doing.
“We can have this discussion in front of our attorneys. You’ve disrupted Harper’s life enough, and at this point I’m not even sure she’d remember you.” I know this is a low blow but I need to get this woman out of my house. “You being here isn’t healthy for Harper. She needs stability and you showing up whenever you please is not going to work for us.”
“That’s why I came back. I can stay here until all this divorce mess is handled and my schedule with Harper is set. Besides, who better to watch our baby than her own mother. I know you can’t be taking care of her all on your own.” Heather moves to step around me but I’m able to sidestep her, denying her further entry.
“Stop trying to come into the house. You’re not welcome here. Frankly, I’m not sure how you got around our security. I’ll be sure to fire whoever let you in.” I run my fingers through my hair, tugging at the ends—a nervous habit I’ve developed which leaves me looking like I’ve stuck my finger in a socket.
As if summoned by the she-devil herself, Bella pops in around me. “Hey, didn’t know we had company. Just wanted to ask you about our outing tomorrow.”
“Now’s not a good time, Bella. I’ll come find you once I’ve walked Heather out.” I’m not trying to be rude but I need Bella as far away from Heather as possible.
“Oh, this is rich. Did you find a replacement for me already? Didn’t take you long, did it? And a younger model too.” Heather’s eyes rake over Bella, studying her every detail. “Does she fuck as good as I do?”
“Jesus. It isn’t like that with Bella. She’s barely eighteen, my friend’s daughter, Ren’s little niece, and the help. I’m not interested in her like that and even if I were, she is completely and utterly off-limits.”
Well, shit. I know I spread the denial on pretty thick but I need to get Heather off Bella’s trail ASAP. That woman is volatile and as unpredictable as a magic eight ball. Surely Bella will understand.
“Yes. I’m just the help.” Bella shoots Heather a saccharin smile before turning back to me. “Speaking of which, I need to check on Harper and make sure all this commotion hasn’t woken her up.” Before I can get a read on her face, Bella turns and walks away.
“Oh, I’m so sure all she’s doing is taking care of Harper.” Heather rolls her eyes as she puffs out a breath. “Bet she likes to stay after hours and take care of you too.”
“Enough, Heather! You don’t get to come here and tell me who I can and can’t hire to take care of my daughter when I have papers saying you wanted to terminate parental rights. Please leave this house or I’ll have you escorted by security.”
“Fine. You and that homewrecker can play house all you want. I’m not going to stand by and let her take everything that’s mine.” Heather shoots me a look that could kill a lesser man, flips her hair once more, and turns to leave—slamming the door behind her.
What a clusterfuck.
Isabella
If he thinks he can talk about me like that, he’s got another thing coming. Screw him. Technically I am his employee, aka the help… and thirteen years younger… and his friend’s daughter… and his best friend’s niece. But the kiss must have meant something, right? It was mind-shattering, earth-shaking, game-changing, all of the ‘ings’ and then some. I can’t be alone in feeling all that from our one kiss. Not. Possible.
Although it has been a week since it happened and he hasn’t so much as grazed me while walking by. It’s evident he’s been putting in extra effort to stay away from me—maybe that’s his way of telling me he thinks the kiss was a mistake?
Ugh. This is too much. I already have a psycho to worry about, I sure as hell don’t need to be worrying about a grown-ass man who has made his feelings as clear as day. He doesn’t think of me in a romantic capacity and I’m totally fine with that. Totally.
It’s not like I’d be open to a relationship either. I know I promised Cass I would try to open myself up to the possibility, but the one thing this whole experience with William has taught me is that this isn’t meant for me.
I simply need to keep myself busy with work, the twins, and preparing for college.
“Bella, we’re done with our workbooks. Can we go outside and play now?” Matt asks while jumping up and down like a little jumping bean.
“My, oh my! Don’t we have a lot of energy today.” I laugh as I check the boys’ worksheets. “Okay. It looks like you both completed today’s learning activity, which means—”
“We get to go plaaaaay!” the twins shout in unison, their cheery little faces pink with excitement.
“Okay. Let me get Harper’s sippy cup and we can all head outside.”
I’m moving around the room trying to gather Harper’s cup, binky, and Jellycat Bunny—Lord knows we can’t go anywhere without that bunny—when I hear the deep baritone voice of the devil himself. “Would you mind if I tag along?”
I turn toward his voice and see that he’s changed into gray sweats and a V-neck T-shirt. Why must he look so good in everything he wears? Doesn’t he know I’m trying to be mad at him?
“It’s your house. You can go wherever you’d like.” I don’t mean to sound bitchy, but I need to distance myself in order to protect my heart. I need all the help I can get with him walking around like a Greek god straight out of a romance novel.
“Is everything okay?” William’s furrowed brows only serve to infuriate me further. He must know that his words would have some sort of effect on me, and not a positive one.
“Everything is fine. Why wouldn’t it be? Now if you’ll excuse me, the help needs to get the kids outside to play.” I walk past him with Harper on my hip and the boys trailing behind.
Before I can reach the door, William shoots out his hand and grabs me by the waist, pulling me into him. “Hold on. Are you upset about how I described our relationship to Heather?” The corner of his mouth begins to lift, forming a smirk. “I didn’t mean it.”
“It sure sounded like you meant it—but it doesn’t matter anyway. Everything you said was true, which makes this conversation pointless. And even if it weren’t, this isn’t the right time to talk about it.” I step away from him and yank the door open, calling for the boys as I step outside.
I’ve just put the boys to bed and I’m exiting their room when my phone goes off. Damn it. I hope it didn’t wake them. I close the door as quietly as possible and pull my phone from my back pocket.
WILLIAM: Meet me in the guest house. I have a surprise for you.
What in the world is this man up to?
BELLA: Okay… I’m bringing a monitor with me.
I quickly swipe a monitor off of the kitchen counter and make my way out the side door and back toward the guest house. Its exterior matches the Cape Cod style of the main house but it’s one-tenth the size.
Not knowing what to expect, I hesitantly open the front door and am completely blown away by what I see. It’s absolutely gorgeous.
The suite is also decorated in a coastal farmhouse style—my favorite—but it’s been done up as an art studio with an office situated in front of huge panoramic windows overlooking the garden. The large desk is made from distressed wood and is accompanied by a cozy white chair. I could totally see myself writing in that chair for hours at a time.
William steps out from what I can only assume is the suite’s bathroom or bedroom. “Do you like it? I had it set up as your writing cave. You can come back here whenever you like and work on your children’s books.” He moves toward the large easel in the back. “You can do your artwork here or there’s a graphic design program installed on the laptop on the desk if you’d rather use that. I wasn’t sure what medium you preferred, so I got both to be safe.”
“William, this is all too much. I don’t even know how long I’m going to be staying here, and I definitely won’t be staying past the summer.” I put a hand to my heart, overwhelmed with gratitude but confused as hell as to what this all means. “Why did you do all this? I’m just the help, remember?”
“Don’t throw that in my face again. I just said that to get Heather off your back. I didn’t want her catching whiff of us or it would make things exponentially more difficult when it came time to finalize our divorce.”
That does make sense…
“Okay, I get that. But you could have clued me in so I wasn’t blindsided.” Like a dog with a bone, I can’t let these hurt feelings go.
“When was I supposed to do that? Right in the middle of my conversation with Heather? That would have defeated the purpose, and it’s not like I could have predicted her showing up after all this time. I came to you as soon as I got rid of her but you weren’t having any of my attempts at explaining.”
That also makes sense…
“Okay. I get it. But what does all that have to do with the guest house? I still don’t understand why you did all this.” I open my arms wide, gesturing at all the changes clearly made for my benefit.
“I want you to feel at home here. Help you pursue a dream you’re passionate about and maybe get you to stay for longer than just the summer.”
“You know I have to go to college in the fall.” I start moving toward him, as if pulled by an invisible tether.
“The school you’re attending is local so you could commute from the house. You were planning on moving into an apartment off-campus anyway, so this is just an extension of that plan. You have a private entrance, bedroom, kitchenette, and workspace. Plus, you wouldn’t have to pay rent. The only request I have is that you watch Harper whenever you’re able.” William’s eyes are pleading, searching mine for an answer. “She will miss you when you start college and this way she can easily transition into being away from you as opposed to cutting you out of her life cold turkey.”
“I’d never leave Harper like that, you should know that. I love her and I’ll always be a part of her life if you’ll let me.”
William grabs me by the waist and pulls me into him. “So you’ll stay?” His eyes shift back and forth between each of mine as he squeezes me tighter. “Past the summer?”
My breathing becomes labored at the sheer proximity of him. William’s kind gestures mixed with all this physical contact has me feeling drunk on emotions.
I breathe him in, taking in the manly scent of cedar and sandalwood—a heady combination that has me forgetting his question. Unable to stop myself, I pull myself closer and lean in for a kiss.
Wrong move, apparently.
William pulls away from me immediately, leaving me more confused than ever.
“That isn’t a good idea, Bella.” William wears a pained look on his face.
“You thought it was a good idea last week.” I know it sounds like I’m whining, but I can’t take this back and forth with him. One minute he’s hot and the next he’s cold. It’s like he’s two different people. One of them wants me and the other doesn’t want to be anywhere near me.
“That was a lapse in judgment. It would serve us well to keep that where it belongs—in the past.” William turns to walk out the door, but before stepping out, he looks back one last time. “I hope that won’t affect your decision to stay.”
And just like that, he leaves me alone in the beautifully redone guest house, feeling all sorts of whiplash from the hurricane of a man that is William.