A Winter Dream

The next few days were a lot of fun for Lila and her mom. They spent time together, cooked together, watched TV, and talked about everything and nothing. Lila didn’t have any more vivid dreams during this time, and she started to think she’d overreacted to stress and nothing more.

One morning they woke up and the snow had melted enough that they could see some weeds peeking out from beneath it. They decided to take a walk down to the thrift store around the corner after lunch just to get some exercise.

They were bundled up and walked at a below average pace so Dana wouldn’t overexert herself. It wasn’t far – less than a quarter mile – and they made it to the shop in a reasonable amount of time.

A clinking bell above the door jingled as they entered and were greeted with a table full of Christmas themed items. There were manger scenes, santas on sleighs, and little holiday villages displayed across the area. Dana zeroed in on a kitschy North Pole themed nativity that had polar bears and penguins instead of sheep and camels. She picked up one of the polar bears and smiled to herself while running her finger over its back as if she were petting it. She giggled like a teenager and then set it back in the display before walking further into the store.

Lila followed Dana around the store sifting through bins and checking out rails and rails of clothing. They laughed at some of the ancient kitchen gadgets on the shelf along the far wall. Dana lit up at the sight of something called a “Lite-Brite” that was a funny shaped box with a light in it where you were supposed to poke holes in the paper with colored pegs.

Lila didn’t have many toys growing up since she was happy to play with her imagination and everyday household objects. Her grandmother would often gift her arts and crafts supplies and she’d been overjoyed just to make things on her own.

After a half hour exploring the shop, Lila came across the stuffed animal shelf and found a white fluffy lion that was five inches tall. It was new in an unopened box and included a children’s book about a lion named Sir Biggington who went to the city to see the sights, but all of the people screamed and ran away from him, giving him a complex about being a lion.

He looked really soft and similar to the lion in her dreams called Ransom. Lila checked out the price tag, which read $1.25, and decided to buy it. The little stuffie looked like a baby Ransom and made Lila’s insides feel emotional and mushy.

She paid for the lion and met her mother at the door. Together they walked back home a little more slowly than they came. Dana leaned on her daughter for support on the way back, but they got home in one piece.

Lila made her mom a cup of hot tea and tucked her into her favorite chair in front of the TV, then she curled up on the couch with a blanket and her new stuffie. She’d tucked baby Ransom under her cheek like a pillow, which made Dana laugh and shake her head.

The news was on and soon Lila drifted off to sleep to the sounds of the news anchor giving a long report about climate change and the polar ice caps.

When she opened her eyes again, she was sitting on steps with snow at her feet. She had on white mittens and long white coat with a fur-lined edging. Her feet were dressed in matching white boots with white fur poking out of the top. She wiggled her toes and felt that the fur was also lining the inside of the shoes.

Lifting her head, she saw trees lining a road that led away from the house and curved out of sight. The lawn was blanketed in white fluff, which she knew with certainty would be the temperature neutral snow she had experienced in every vivid dream lately.

A door opened behind her, and footsteps sounded across the patio. She turned her head to see her dad coming out to join her. He sat down next to her and handed her one of the two cups he was holding. He was smiling again with his heart on his sleeve. The love in his eyes was so sweet that Lila had to look up to keep the tears from falling from her lower lashes.

He said nothing and patiently waited for her to be ready to talk to him. They sipped their cocoa together and when Lila had emptied her mug, she set it down next to her on the porch and turned her body towards him. He set his mug down, too, and turned to face her.

“Are you really dead?” she asked.

He searched her face as several emotions flickered across his and eventually answered her, “No. I’m not dead.”

“Where are you? Where is this?”

“Lila, you have no idea how much…” he began but had to stop as tears finally spilled over, running down his cheeks.

Lila reached out her mitten-covered hand and wrapped it around her father’s bare one. He squeezed her hand tightly and rubbed the back of it with his other as she waited for him to compose himself.

“There’s a lot to explain and I don’t know how much time we have this time,” he began.

“It’s ok. We can go at our own pace. You don’t have to tell me all at once. Clearly, I’ll be back,” she replied, sounding more mature than she felt.

“You will be back,” he confirmed.

“How’s your mom? She’s sick, isn’t she?” he asked as if he already knew the answer.

Lila nodded and sighed, “She’s dying. I don’t know how much time she has left. She’s been sick for a while, but she never told me how serious it was. There’s nothing they can do now. I’m trying to make her comfortable and spend time with her.”

“I know it’s hard for you, pumpkin. I wish I could be there to help you bear it,” his expression carried both pain and resignation.

They sat quietly together after that, holding hands and watching the sun get lower in the sky. It was beautiful here. The horizon burst into hues of teal and gold that intensified as the sun progressed in its journey across the heavens.

Once the sun set, Lila turned to speak to her dad again and found herself staring at the TV from her position lying on the sofa. She blinked a few times and glanced over to the chair where she last saw her mom. No one was there.

Lila got up and wandered around the house looking for Dana, not calling out in case she was already asleep. She didn’t find her in the kitchen or bedroom and the bathroom door was closed but there was no light coming from the crack under the door. Lila knocked on it anyway and she heard a croaking sound and then a lot of coughing.

“Mom! I’m coming in…” she called out before she opened the door to find Dana leaning over the sink and coughing up blood.

Rushing to Dana’s side, she put her arm around her and sat her down on the closed toilet lid then stepped out into the hall to get a facecloth out of the linen closet. She returned quickly and ran warm water over the cloth then squeezed out the excess water before handing it to her mom.

Dana wiped her mouth and chin and smiled gratefully up at her daughter.

“We should get you to the hospital, Mom,” Lila urged.

Dana shook her head emphatically, “I don’t want to go. There’s nothing they can do, and I want to die in my own home.”

“Mom…” Lila began.

“Please, sweetie. Let me spend my last few days with you, here, in my mother’s house,” she pleaded.

Lila couldn’t bear the sight of her mom’s anguished look, so she relented, “Alright. I understand.”

Dana’s relief was palpable as she gripped onto Lila for assistance, “Help me to bed, sweetheart. I’m so tired.”

Lila lifted her mother off the toilet seat and walked with her slowly across the hall. She helped her take off her pants and put on some shorts. She’d already removed her bra when they first got home and was wearing an old tee with a band called “The Cranberries” on it.

Lila shifted Dana on the bed then pulled the covers over her as she laid down on the pillow, “Goodnight, Mom. Sweet dreams,” she said before she kissed her on the forehead.

“Night, sweetheart,” Dana’s groggy voice murmured back as she closed her eyes.

Lila turned out the overhead light and shuffled down the hall to the living room. She turned off the television and scooped up her baby Ransom before taking herself back down the hall to her own room.

She stripped off her bra and pants and decided to just go to bed in her T-shirt and underwear. After a second thought, she folded up a pair of sweatpants and placed them on her bedside table and set some sneakers on the floor beside the bed.Just in case she had to call an ambulance for her mom in the night, she wanted to be able to throw something on quickly.

She didn’t feel tired and didn’t believe she would be able to go back to sleep anytime soon, but she crawled into bed anyway.

She was wrong. She slept immediately.

Lila found herself in another bed that was much bigger than her own. The linens were white, soft, and comfortable and she wasn’t sure how she could see them in the dark, but she could. She sat up as her eyes roamed the unfamiliar yet familiar bedroom. Silvery moonlight streaming in the window made everything appear gray and blue.

Her bedroom door was open, and she could hear the sounds of a piano playing somewhere in the house. She went to the wall near the door and found a light switch, which she flipped up. The lights in the room caused her to blink against the sudden brightness.

Looking around, she spotted a couple of doors across the room and opened the closest one to find a closet full of women’s clothes. She pulled a sundress off one of the hangers and held it up in front of her. It was her size. She pulled it on over the slip style nightgown she was wearing and looked up to see a full-length mirror hung on the far wall of the closet. It was a large closet, so she stepped closer to assess the fit of the dress.

It was deep green the color of an evergreen forest and it suited her complexion and hair color perfectly. She’d never worn this color in her waking hours and was surprised at how lovely it made her. The slip she’d been wearing in bed was hidden by the thicker straps of the sundress. The dress was light and soft, and the hem flowed around her ankles. Even though it was a simple design, the bodice fit both snuggly and comfortably around her upper body while the skirt fell in an A-line that flattered her figure. Her hair was mysteriously in order and flowing over her shoulders and down her back. Nothing to do there. She was satisfied that she was decent and felt comfortable following the music to see who was playing.

Stepping out of the bedroom, Lila found herself on a landing of sorts. It was a long hallway with doors on one side, the same as the bedroom she’d just come out of, and a banister on the other. She walked the eight steps it took to get from her door to the railing and she peered over it. The house wasn’t entirely lit so there were lights in some places and shadows in others. She could see that the floors below were the same type of flooring she was standing on. She reached a hand out to lay it on the top of the banister and started gliding slowly to the right because it just felt like the correct way to go.

Soon, Lila came to a staircase and took it down to the floor below. The music was resonating from somewhere on the first floor, that much she could tell. As she followed the sounds, she marveled at the vastness of the house which was more like a manor. She’d already seen the library and the front drive, and the opulent staircase was even more marvelous. It wound to the left in a semi-circle that led her to a grand foyer. From there, she moved to the left again and went through an archway beneath the stairs that led to another hallway.

Following the music, she continued down the hallway and came to a stop in front of a pair of ornate double doors with lovely wood carvings etched into them. She couldn’t make out what the decorative scrolls were in the darkness of the hallway. A sliver of light shone from under the door alongside the sounds of the melody that vibrated at her feet.

She opened one of the doors and poked her head into the room to see who was playing. There was shining grand piano across the room near a massive window highlighting a view of a forest that seemed to grow right up to the window. It was as if the branches were leaning in to listen.

Her eyes returned to the piano and as she stepped closer, she saw her dad. His hands were dancing along the keys and his expression was peaceful and pleasant. She continued to draw near to him, and he looked up at her. He didn’t seem surprised that she was there, and he smiled affectionately as he continued the song.

After he finished playing and the last echoes of the piece evaporated, he looked up at her and asked, “Are you very tired lately? You’ve been sleeping a lot today.”

Lila shook her head, “Not really. I’m not sure why I fell asleep so easily the second time. Dad…” she paused before continuing, “I think mom is ready to go soon.”

“Let’s talk,” he suggested, taking her hand, and leading her out of the room and down the hall to the library she’d previously seen.

There was a fire burning in a fireplace and he gestured for her to take a seat in one of the high back leather chairs that faced half towards the flames and half towards the other chair. After he was satisfied that she was settled and comfortable he started talking.

“Lila, you asked me if I was dead and where this was. I told you I’m not dead. If you listen to what I’m about to tell you with an open heart and mind, I think you will find it sounds true. Not just to your ears, but in your gut,” he began.

Lila tilted her head slightly to the side and thought about what he was saying. She understood his meaning because she had felt it many times in this dream world – the impression that something was familiar, or she knew which way to go and so on.

“I understand,” she answered when she realized he was waiting for a response.

He was satisfied and continued, “This is, to put it simply, another dimension from the one you live in with mom. We exist at the same time, in the same timeline, but in a different place.”

Lila thought about what he said. He was right, it didfeeltrue. She didn’t quite understand and tried to formulate the words to communicate what she wanted to know.

“So…is it like…another planet or something?”

Lila’s dad, who she suddenly remembered was called Callum, shook his head, “No it’s not like that. We’re still on earth, but it’s more like an alternate reality. Where you live with your mom and where I live here all started from the same beginning when the planet was formed. But at some point in time and space a decision made by someone caused a split into two realities. This has happened over and over until there are many dimensions of earth. The time is the same, but each dimension is separate and different from the others. This dimension and your mothers have been separated for millennia.”

“But…how did you meet? How do I exist?” Lila wondered aloud.

“I met your mom in a dream. One night I fell asleep in the forest you could see through the music room window. I was sleeping there with my parallel. This dimension is much safer than yours, with less pollution, minimal conflict, and no poverty. Humans and their parallels roam freely. There is also a touch of what you might call ‘magic’ here, which is something that doesn’t exist in your mom’s dimension.”

“Ok hold up. What’s a parallel?” Lila was confused.

Callum smiled, “I almost forgot you don’t know yours yet because you stopped coming here when you were six years old. A parallel is something unique only to this dimension. Here, every birth of a human happens in conjunction with the birth of another creature on the planet. When the human goes through puberty, it coincides with the creature who is their birth twin reaching adulthood. When this occurs, the creature, who we call a parallel, sets off to find their human. They’re guided by instinct and travel without ceasing until they find their person and the two embrace by touching their foreheads together. The first touch bonds the two together as one. They gain sudden knowledge of one another’s pasts and know they will spend the rest of their lives together.”

“That’s the magic,” Lila concluded.

Callum agreed, “It is a kind of magic, sure. But the more wonderful piece of the magic is that the human gains the ability to enter the parallel’s mind and move inside of them as part of them. They can work together in one body. The parallel, likewise, can hitch a ride inside the human’s mind. When one joins into the other, the body they aren’t sharing appears frozen and statuesque. It doesn’t age or experience hunger or thirst. That is the magic. And it’s because of this magic that our dimension fares better when it comes to taking care of the planet. All ecosystems are necessary, respected, and cared for by creatures and humans alike.”

“That truly is magic, isn’t it?” Lila smiled dreamily, then realized she derailed the conversation, “you were telling me about Mom.”

“Ah yes…” her dad’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled, “I was asleep in the forest with my parallel and there was a minor natural disaster here. It shook me in my sleep and my soul was thrust across the dimensions into your mother’s dream. It wasn’t just any dream. It was a separate space…another dimension that we could visit together when we slept. It was real, just like this feels real to you now…the same way being with your mother feels real.

“We had a whirlwind romance and one thing led to another and she got pregnant,” Callum explained sheepishly.

“We could be together anytime we slept, and when your mom and you slept together holding hands, you could visit me together. We had wonderful times together as a family when you were just a wee thing in a dimension that was just for the three of us,” his eyes glazed over for a moment with the reminders of his fond memories, but then his expression turned sorrowful.

“The problem was that I couldn’t get to her dimension, and she couldn’t come to mine. We thought that we could manage because we loved each other - and you - so much. But something unexpected happened…”

Lila frowned as her memory was jogged and she began to remember something important, “I started to come here to your dimension when I slept without mom.”

“Precisely that,” Callum confirmed, “You were so young and at first, we thought it was a gift. We could spend time together as a family and you could learn about both worlds and both cultures.

“But we were wrong. It started to hurt you, deeply so. You made friends here and met the rest of our family and you were so happy to visit every night, but you started to reject your mother’s reality.

“You would get sick in her dimension. It was breaking Dana’s heart. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t keep you here and take you away from her. You and her mother were all she had in her world. I had so many people: my parallel, so much family, and so many family friends. I was never alone like she was, and I couldn’t fix it. The only thing I could do was to close the dimension between us.

“I had help. The elder king at the time told me how to do it. He told me how to bond you to your mother’s life so that you would be kept to her dimension, and then close the one in between. It meant that as long as your mother lived, you could never come here again. He assured me he’d done it before, and the bonding would stop you from being sick anymore. He was right and it worked.”

“That’s why you knew mom wasn’t well…because I kept coming here,” Lila concluded.

Callum confirmed her assumption, “Yes. When Ransom saw you on the plains, he was very surprised…and smitten all over again. He thought he would have to wait much longer for you. He’s eager to see you again, but he’s staying away since he knows your mom isn’t well.”

Lila saw a memory in her mind. It burst forth like a waterfall and she suddenly remembered, “Ransom…he’s the king’s son…he’s my…” Lila knew the word, but it felt strange.

“Yes, Lila. He’s your mate,” Callum explained.

“But…he couldn’t have waited for me. Mom could have lived another forty years! I didn’t remember him…I could have married someone!” Lila was horrified at the thought.

Callum shook his head, “I know it seems that way, but another magic of this place that you couldn’t know is that the parallels have greater intuition than humans do. My bear knew. He knew you’d be back sometime in your twenties. It’s true I didn’t expect you this soon, right at twenty years old, but I knew it would be sometime within the next ten years.

“And just so you know, Ransom wouldn’t even consider another woman. They might as well have all been men to him, and he’s straight as an arrow. He’s been working hard at learning to be king so that he would be ready for you when you came. That night he first saw you again, he was sharing his parallel’s mind, going for a run together when he came upon you.

“When you disappeared suddenly after he called your name, he came straight to me and told me what happened. We went to the elder king to find out why you came but didn’t stay. He explained that your mom’s life force was weak and so you would be able to appear for short periods of time. In fact, I’m concerned that you’ve been here so long this time. Maybe you should go check on your mom…” Callum suggested.

Lila opened her eyes back in her small bedroom in her grandmother’s house. Her dad’s words had worried her, and she immediately jumped back into her mom’s dimension.

She ran down the hall and rushed to her mom’s side to find her laboring over every breath. She was unconscious and a thin layer of sweat coated her forehead. Lila reached out gently to hold her hand and said, “Mom…you don’t look well…wake up, Mom…”

Dana groaned as if she was in pain but didn’t wake up.

Lila reached for her shoulders and shook her gently while raising her voice a bit louder, “Mom, can you open your eyes for me?”

Dana didn’t respond this time, but her breaths continued in a slow rasping rhythm.

Lila went to the kitchen to get a big mixing bowl and filled it with ice and water and grabbed a facecloth from the linen closet on her way back to her mother’s room. She wanted to call an ambulance, but her mother had made her wishes clear. Dana wanted to die in her mother’s home, and it was the only thing that Lila could give her.

So, she did her best and spent the rest of the night trying to cool Dana’s fevered skin, hoping it would make her more comfortable.

As dawn broke, causing sunlight to stream through her mother’s window, Lila was relieved when Dana opened her eyes and smiled up at her. Maybe they would have one more day.