A Thousand Heartbeats

I trudged over hills, heading north and holding Lennox’s bracelet against my wrist. I had watched until he crested the hill, thankful that he hadn’t looked back. I might have lost my resolve.

He’d said I was strong, but I wouldn’t have made it without him. Not only did he take care of me, he listened to the hardest secrets I’d ever kept and held them without judgment. I owed him more than my life.

I looked up from my thoughts and saw a pale green flag fluttering in the distance. I raised my hands, waving them while I ran, and I called out. I suddenly realized with a flood of disappointment that I would not be able to explain away my bracelet. I quickly unwove it and shoved it down my stays. For now, I had to tuck him and my love safely away. The boy with the apple would have to be my most closely guarded secret. After a few minutes, two soldiers came running my way, meeting me halfway.

“Your Highness,” one greeted me. “The duke has been most worried about you.”

Nickolas was alive.

“I am well, so do not concern yourself with me.” I looked back. “How long ago did the ship carrying my brother leave for Kadier?”

They exchanged a look. “We couldn’t leave, Highness. The waves were too high. One of the ships sank.”

I stopped in my tracks. I took a deep breath, bracing myself. “Is my brother alive?”

“Yes.”

I nearly burst into tears I was so relieved. “And my father?”

“He is alive but unstable. He’s . . . somewhat incoherent.”

I nodded. “Take me to Escalus at once.”

They moved ahead of me, clearing a path once we reached the remaining troops. I rushed up the gangplank, following them to the captain’s quarters. Just outside, Nickolas was pacing.

He had his hand over his mouth, staring at the planks as he crossed them, looking as if the weight of a country was on his shoulders. I imagined he was guessing it very well might be.

“Nickolas?”

His head jerked up, eyes wide. He let out a ragged breath and rushed over to me. “You’re alive! Annika!” He stepped back, looking into my eyes, his face painted in wonder. “I thought we’d lost you.”

And then, doing as I knew I must, I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him. It was brief, but it was enough for the soldiers to see, and it was enough to show Nickolas where he sat in my future.

“My brother?”

“This way,” he said, placing a hand on my back and leading me into the captain’s quarters. He lowered his voice. “His Majesty is belowdecks. He’s . . .”

“I know.”

“His Highness is in charge. I tried to get him to set sail, but he refused to budge until you returned.”

I shook my head, walking over. Noemi was crouched beside my brother, wiping sweat from his brow with a cloth, her touch as gentle as a whisper.

I let out a ragged breath seeing her alive and well. She covered her mouth and had to look away for a moment, composing herself.

But neither of us could bring ourselves to smile.

Escalus opened his eyes, but only just. “My prayers . . . have . . . been answered,” he eked out.

“Let us get you home so that mine can be as well.”

“How?” he mumbled. I knew the rest of the question: How did I survive?

There was a boy, and he held me through the rain and the cold. He told me the truth, and he brought me peace.

“I saw the edge of the hurricane coming and found a cave on the side of a mountain. It was deep enough to wait it out.”

“So that’s what a hurricane looks like,” Noemi said. “How did you know?”

I swallowed. “I’ve read about them.”

She nodded. It was easy to believe.

“Well, let’s be thankful you’re safe,” Nickolas said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Where were you?” I asked him.

“At first, I walked, trying to get back to the ships. But I knew I wasn’t going to make it, so I hunkered under a cluster of trees. I’ve only just dried out.”

“And you think it’s miraculous I’m alive?” I shook my head. “Can we leave now?” I pleaded. “Escalus needs a proper doctor.”

“Yes,” Escalus said. “Noemi. Nickolas.” He looked wearily at the two soldiers by the door. “Jattson. Mamun.” They saluted in return. “You four stand . . . witness. I am . . . making Annika regent. My father . . . must heal. Follow . . . her command.”

I stood there, stunned by his words. Regent? It made me all but queen. I was in no way prepared for such a role.

“Escalus? Are you sure?” I asked.

He nodded. “I need time. I am . . . still here,” he assured me. “Time.”

I looked at him, knowing he was doing his best to reassure me. So I would reassure him.

“Very well. I accept.” I leaned over and whispered, “I’m still here.”

And somehow, that felt so much bigger than “I love you.”

“Your Highness,” Nickolas whispered, pulling my attention to him. “Take a deep breath. Then go to the captain and order him to set sail. I will go with you as witness to your regency. All will be well, but we must go.”

I nodded. “Yes.”

I moved from the room, finding the captain waiting just outside.

“Captain. I am now in command. We must sail at once, so my brother and father might be restored. We must ensure the safety of Kadier.”

His eyes widened, but he quickly saluted me. “Yes, Your Highness.” He immediately went to calling orders, and men scurried up from the coast and across the decks, getting ropes and sails into place. I was impressed with their speed, but I wouldn’t be at ease until Escalus was deemed safe.

“You did well,” Nickolas said quietly beside me.

“Thank you. I hope I won’t let them down.”

He shook his head. “It’s possible that no one in Kadierian history will ever be loved as much as you. You can do no wrong.”

“We’ll see.”

When we were finally out at sea, I watched the horizon, looking for home. What I saw instead was a smattering of shapes in the distance.

“Is that them?” I asked.

“It is,” Nickolas replied. “If we didn’t need to get Escalus to safety, I’d say we should go ahead and chase them now while they’re weak. I can’t recommend that in good faith right now.”

“Nor could I. Escalus and my father are the priority now. The rest . . . we’ll figure out tomorrow.”

“Of course.” He bowed to me and started walking, calling to the captain to ask a question.

I watched the cluster of little boats in the distance. In the books, they always spoke of pain when being parted from the one you loved.

They did not do the sensation justice.

Piercing was too small a word, as was crushing.

I pressed my hand to my chest, and I could feel my unraveled bracelet there, the tassel tickling my skin.

I locked Lennox away in the quietest part of my heart and willed myself to be satisfied with whatever may come.