A Thousand Heartbeats

I recognized the scent almost immediately, though I couldn’t see a face. “You’re far from home,” I said.

“So are you,” she replied.

Well, wasn’t that the truth? “But I’m ready to go.”

Wordlessly, she laced her fingers between mine. Tall grass and clusters of flowers lined my vision as far as I could see. I watched the back of her head, simply following as long locks of light brown hair guided the way.

I found it was easy to fall into step behind her. It was comfortable to hold her hand, soft from a life of ease. And it was sweet, the sound of her voice as she coaxed me, saying, “Just a little longer.”

I walked until the fields turned into a hill, cresting. Soon, so soon, I would see it. I would see home, finally. But then I was startled awake by Thistle licking my face. I gasped a little, confused and disappointed.

Thistle yipped at me, fidgeting. I could tell she was on edge, probably because I was. She kept licking my fingertips, offering the little comfort she could. She’d been roaming more than usual lately, but I told myself that was a good thing. She was wild, after all.

I pulled myself up, scratching at her ears. I wished I had a way of explaining that I was going to be roaming myself, that I might not come back. “You’ll be fine without me, though,” I said. “Still, try to take care of yourself, and don’t come wandering around the recruits left behind. They might mistake you for food.

“And if I don’t come back, thank you for staying with me. For so long, you were the only one.” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Don’t tell the others, but I still prefer your company the best.”

I kissed her head and stood, and she quickly nuzzled up on my thin pillow. I smiled and went to prepare myself the best I could. I tucked my shirt into the most durable pants I had and buttoned my coat over it.

I packed as I typically did, throwing a single spare of everything into my bag, just in case. It was going to be a slow trip with so many people moving on foot. We would travel today, camp tonight, and be on water tomorrow, so I packed something to sleep on.

For a split second, I almost grabbed the lock of Annika’s hair. For some reason, it felt like a talisman, something that might protect me. Something had protected her, that was for sure. But I told myself I didn’t need protection. King Theron was likely coming alone with a small dispatch of soldiers; we were coming en masse.

All the same, I walked over, pulling it from the back of my desk drawer. It still held its curl, and I twirled it around my finger. I almost felt pity for her. While she was hiding somewhere, I would be taking her castle—my castle.

I startled a little at the knock on the door and quickly tucked Annika’s hair away. Thistle moved so she was hidden in the corner. I was surprised to see Blythe this early, and with a parcel in her hand.

“Good morning,” she said.

“And to you. What’s this?” I pointed at the parcel.

“I don’t know. It was outside the door, so I picked it up.” She held it out to me.

It looked like a bunch of black fabric tied up in twine. I tugged at the bow, and the whole thing came tumbling out. I held it up and recognized the shape of it instantly.

There was no note—how could there be?—but I knew what this was and who it had come from. No one but my mother could have had my father’s riding cape.

I swallowed hard, pushing something I couldn’t name down to the deepest parts of myself. Down with the childhood I so deeply missed, down with the greenish pale color of my dead father’s hand, down with the vomit I tossed out the window after I killed Annika’s mother, down with the dread I felt each time someone meant a fraction of something to me, down with the fear in every set of eyes when they realized I was the last person they’d ever see.

I wasn’t going to cry. Not today.

“You should wear it,” she decided. “You look much more dangerous with a cape flying out behind you. Besides, we don’t know what’s waiting for us out there.”

I swallowed again, then swept the cape around me, settling it across my shoulders.

Unlike mine, it was dark, the black still crisp, which told me that even though he’d been gone for years, she’d been preserving this well. The ties were long and had tassels on the edges, and the lining was made of something nicer than mine had been. Just inside the neck was an emblem of some kind, stitched in black thread, so if you didn’t know it was there, you’d never see it. I didn’t know what it was, but I appreciated that after all this time, he still had his secrets.

Something about the way the cape set around me felt like a hug, and I tried not to think about that too long.

“It looks good,” Blythe said. Those bright eyes were back again, the faint flush in her cheeks.

I shook my head quickly and changed the subject. “Was there a reason you came by so early?”

“There are two, actually,” she said, looking down. I didn’t notice it at first because of the parcel, but I could see the bracelet woven with long grass and blue fabric that she must have stolen or saved resting in her hands.

I couldn’t not take it.

“Thank you,” I whispered, appreciating at the very least that she had the courage to give it to me. “Please don’t be upset . . . but I’m not ready to wear this.”

Her face was kind, more so than I deserved. “I don’t need you to wear it. I just needed to make it.”

I met her eyes for the briefest of seconds and looked away, pulling at the collar of my newfound cape.

“Umm, what was the other reason?”

“Oh,” she said, her cheeks pink. “Kawan asked for you. They’re putting the final supplies together.”

I nodded. “Let’s go.”

I grabbed my bag and my sword, pausing to look back at Thistle. She blinked at me once, and I hoped I’d get to see her again. Leaving the bracelet on my desk, I closed the door and followed Blythe down the hallway.

We found a good number of soldiers outside, and I could see White Flag, Skittish, and Spare glancing around, their eyes betraying their trepidation. We did not look like a group of people going to receive an envoy—no, with horses mounted and swords being sharpened, this was clearly an army headed for war.

I saw Kawan waving me to him and marched over, my cape fluttering behind me. For something so sturdy, it was light. I appreciated its construction more and more with every passing second.

I didn’t care if my closest friend was dying of hypothermia, this cape would never leave me.

As I moved, I caught the sight of my mother, still clinging to the edges of Kawan’s presence. I swallowed, unsure what to say or do. I thought we’d severed every last thread that might bind us. But here I stood, wearing my father’s cape, given over by her grace.

I stopped, holding my hands out, wordlessly asking her what she thought.

Even from here I could see the tears in her eyes. She nodded briefly, her smile pained.

Would I ever understand her? Would she ever understand me?

Perhaps this would have to be enough for us.

“Our guests are insisting we leave our swords here,” Kawan stated.

“It will be seen as an act of aggression,” White Flag replied adamantly. “His Majesty will not tolerate it.”

“And why should we be forced to travel unarmed?” Kawan demanded.

White Flag shook his head. “We have been sincere from the second we were discovered. Why do you think we would give you poor advice?”

Kawan’s eyes were menacing. “I still say we take weapons.”

“I still say it’s a mistake.”

There was a silence long enough for me to swiftly pull out my sword and aim it directly at White Flag’s throat. Spare and Skittish stepped back but were quickly surrounded and made no further move to run.

“It seems to me that someone who wants to make sure that we have no weapons knows without doubt that we will need them. Answer my question, and don’t waste my time with a lie: The king won’t be alone, will he?”

He scoffed at me. “He will most likely be accompanied by his son and a handful of guards.”

Again, I had no way of proving it, but I felt in my gut this was a lie.

Kawan, perhaps finally sensing this as well, flung his hand lazily. “At this point, it doesn’t matter. We’re taking our weapons, and your king will be joining you in the grave shortly. Lennox,” he added, almost as if it was obvious, “take care of them.”

My stomach sank, but I didn’t flinch. “Bind them,” I said, and Aldrik, Illio, and Slone stepped from behind Kawan, tying up our revered guests’ hands in front of them. Once they were properly secure, I pointed toward the path that would lead us to the sea. “Walk.”

Inigo strode up beside me. “Do you need help?” he whispered.

I shook my head. “I have to do this alone. Make sure the others are ready. I’m certain now.”

I marched them down the rocky trail, listening as Skittish started speaking once we were out of earshot from the rest of the army. “Coleman? Coleman, say something! Tell him we speak the truth.”

“They don’t believe it, my friend. I can do no more,” White Flag said, resigned.

Skittish rounded on White Flag. “What?” Tears were filling his eyes; he understood that his death was unavoidable.

Spare, who’d been leading the pack, turned as well, waiting for a better answer. We all were.

White Flag—Coleman—looked at me and then his companions. “Even if I did have more to say, I couldn’t. My silence will be my final service to our king.” He flicked his head back at me, assuming I’d report every last syllable to Kawan.

How little he knew.

“Keep walking. Down to the coast,” I said.

After some angry glances exchanged between the three of them, they started their bitter walk toward death.

Once we made it to the black sand of our beach, I made them line up in the edge of the surf, facing me. The clouds were rolling in, threatening rain.

“I won’t tolerate any more lies,” I began. “Speak plainly and speak quickly. Your king, what is his greatest weakness?”

White Flag refused to speak, but Skittish still looked hopeful, like giving an answer might grant him a reprieve.

“His children. If you had one of them, he’d give you anything you asked.”

“Shut your mouth, Victos!” Coleman ordered.

“And your prince?”

“His sister. She is his weakness, and he is hers. Again, all you need is one.”

Coleman’s hands were bound, but he swung the both of them around, hitting Victos, who fell to his knees.

“Do you want to die for this?” Victos asked from the sand.

Coleman looked at me, his eyes like knives. “I will happily die for vengeance, for future peace.”

I turned to Spare, the one who’d said all but nothing from the moment they arrived. He looked to the ground, and I couldn’t tell if he was simply being defiant or if he had accepted his fate.

“You. What’s your name?”

“Palmer,” he replied.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” I asked him.

Victos got to his feet, and Coleman looked over, anxious to hear what Palmer would say.

He stared at me for a moment. “Her Royal Highness says you claim our kingdom is yours.”

“That is true. I do.”

“She says you could offer no evidence.”

“We may not have your fine libraries, but that doesn’t take away the truth.”

“Her sensibilities may be somewhat romantic, but she is reasonable. If you had proof, she would find a way to make peace. She’s like her mother in that way.”

I nodded. “And tougher than one might think.”

Palmer looked at me strangely. “Of course she’s tough. You’d never guess what she’s been through.”

My eyes narrowed. I knew some of her pain; I’d caused it myself. “What do you mean?”

He looked up at me. “If I die today, it would be my greatest shame to divulge her secrets. I cannot say more.”

What loyalty she commanded.

“A final question, then: If you are so devoted to her, to her family, why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“In truth? You would have to kill His Majesty if you wanted to get the crown out of his hands. The same for His Royal Highness. But Her Royal Highness?” Palmer looked down, shaking his head. “I’ve watched her from afar for years—since before she lost her mother—and she might be one of the few people who understand that there are things in this world more valuable than titles and crowns. She will do what is right when she is able. She is your only key to the kingdom, if one exists. But I support them to the end if you’re nothing but a liar. And I hope they live, whatever happens. No offense,” he added.

I chuckled. “None taken. Thank you for your honesty.”

Coleman took in a deep breath. “So, what? Are we to get on our knees?”

I shook my head. “No. You are to swim.”

They looked over their shoulders at the angry sea.

“I am tired of unnecessarily spilling blood. You will swim. If you sink, that shall be on your own head. If you live and somehow make it home, well—that land will be mine by the time you arrive, so I wouldn’t recommend staying.”

They stood there for a minute, stunned.

“Go on. I’ve got work to do.”

Victos and Coleman started walking into the surf. I knew it wasn’t entirely impossible to stay afloat for hours with your hands bound . . . it could be torturous, though.

“Palmer,” I whispered. “Hands out.”

He did as I commanded, and I cut through enough of the rope that if he tried, he’d be free soon enough and could help the others.

“A gift from one man who is telling the truth to another.”

He nodded at me and followed the others into the water.

I stayed for a while, watching until they disappeared behind some rocks on the southeastern part of the shore.

I put my sword away and went to rejoin the group. I looked for the handful from last night, feeling confident that everything I’d suspected was true. This was not going to be the easy encounter Kawan thought it would. Their king was intending to take out Kawan at the very least, if not all of us. And their castle would be ours for the taking. I gave Inigo a knowing nod, and he returned it. That would have to be it for now.

Kawan startled me, lumbering into my path expectantly. “Well?”

I didn’t even have to lie. “Their bodies are in the sea.”