SWNOVELS Chapter CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Happy World Inc. are a company that believes in bringing dreams to life. That is to say; their dreams. Much like the theme parks of your time, Happy World is a franchised company, which sets up amusement planets for patrons to come and unload their wallets. As their motto says; “Welcome children of all ages and species, to the happiest place in space!!” That is unless you work for them or cross them.
This company currently has 600 of these ‘Theme-Planets’ throughout the known Universe. Using mostly slave labour and indentured servants, this company has excelled in creating the most authentic fake experience in the cosmos, 600 times over. Rather than people dressed in mascot costumes to sell their image, however, this company uses advanced genetic engineering and bio-mechanics, to bring creatures to life that are living incarnations of the bizarre anthropomorphic freaks the visitors know and love from animated broadcasts.
The company was started by a travelling con-man who took his craft to the next level by stealing all family friendly properties not covered by Galactic copyright, at the time, and built attractions based on those ideas. Starting on a desolate moon he forged the deeds to, Mr Harry Jeffers, changed his surname to Happy and began construction of his theme park. Injecting his own warped ideology into his creation, he eventually sold his “property” to a toy company and retired to a planet in the celestial Arc shortly before the outbreak of the Franchise wars that reshaped the corporate world over the 27th Century.
Not much has changed since then though, sure they update the rides and popular characters every so often but the central ideology has remained the same as it was in Happy Harry’s day; Make money, by any means necessary and available. The only real difference is that that money now lines more pockets and there’s more of it every year. ‘Employees’ (as loose of a term as that is for them) are punished if they don’t keep up the Happy World public motto. Showing signs of unhappiness are a sure fire way to ‘disappear’ at work and rumours are endless as to what exactly happens to those who can’t be happy all the time. No one who knows for sure has ever got the secret out, so speculation is the closest anybody can attest to and who would dare do so out loud, lest they also befall the same, mysterious fate. Our heroes, however, would know what happened to the disappeared all too well once they arrived at Happy World 392.
Van was sat against the wall of the cell that he and his companions shared, aboard the mob space ship. They had been sat in the same room for 3 days now and, yet again, his buttocks had gone to sleep on the cold floor. He was bored. Conversation hadn’t been overly shared either as they had all been fitted with shock collars that would electrocute them whenever they spoke of escape or anything related to the shit storm they were currently waltzing straight into. Either that or the guards outside their door didn’t enjoy the sound of people talking. Whatever the reason, the effect was still the same. They had attempted small talk a few times, but it was hard to ignore the murderous elephant in the room and conversation would inevitably lead to a round of electric shocks. After a day of this they had just given up.
When they finally landed at Happy World 392, the cell door was unlocked and six suit-clad guards walked in (four of which were just there for Yukimi). They hustled them out of the room and led them, silently, off of the ship. The hangar they were in didn’t look much like it belonged in an amusement park. It was dingy and looked more like a loading area at the back of a concert hall. Why did I think they’d bring us in the front, thought Van, feeling a little dense for not expecting a non-public entrance when the company was clearly doing something incredibly surreptitious. He’d been herded like cattle to the slaughter more times than he chose to remember, this was just like that. The mobsters had even chained their shock collars together. The collars weighed heavy around their necks, forcing them to slump as they trudged toward an access door. They were shunted into a freight elevator and joined by half of the gangsters, the others staying behind to protect the ship.
The elevator took them down into the bowels of the planet. The air grew more and more stale the further they descended. Dallas’ secret hope that it would all be a prank and they were actually going to ride the newest rollercoaster, were fading fast. It ground to a halt and the heavy, metal door slid upwards revealing a long hallway.
It appeared to be lit by gas lamps that were older then the planet itself. They cast a dull orange glow across the room. A large mobster, who looked like a rhino in a suit and comically large sunglasses, yanked the chain that held our heroes together, forcing them forward. At the end of the hall was a small, red, wooden door which Van was sure the rhino mobster would never fit through. He opened it regardless and squeezed through, keeping the chain clenched tightly in his fist. He pulled them through and into an old dressing room. Dust clung to every surface and low quality, off colour mascot suits hung on one wall. This seemed to be where Happy World attractions came to die and now it was their turn. The rest of the gangsters filed into the room and closed the door behind them.
Loud mechanical noises sounded somewhere over head and the floor began to move down. The ceiling stayed in place, the walls stretching upwards, making the occupants feel very small.
“I don’t like this, man,” said one of the gangsters.
“Quiet, fool,” spat the Rhino mobster in a deep voice, “these Happy World freaks just love they theatrics. Quit bein’ a bitch!”
The first gangster closed his mouth and tried to look tough. The room was really showing its age now, the walls no longer had paint on them. There did appear to be the occasional splatter of what was clearly blood though. The room finally stopped stretching and the door they had entered through, opened once more. They all went through it, the rhino mobster squeezing through behind them all.
They were now in a gigantic room, with a large, steal chamber in its centre. In front of the chamber stood two important looking men, surrounded by a dozen heavily armoured soldiers, dressed in black from head to toe, with huge rifles. The Rhino mobster stepped through his colleagues, dragging the three captives behind him. He stopped a few feet in front of the important looking men.
“You got the book?” he asked. The man on the left produced a deep, silver briefcase and handed it to the rhino. He opened it, took a look inside and closed it again. “They all yours.” he said with a smile. He tossed something to the man who had handed him the briefcase and the mobsters filed back out of the room.
The soldiers in the room circled the three captives and aimed their weapons at their heads. Apparently having them chained to one another with shock collars wasn’t enough for these people.
“Where are my manners,” said the briefcase man. He pressed a button on the device the rhino had thrown him and the collars fell to the floor. The soldiers re-steadied their weapons. The briefcase man paced around them, inspecting his recent acquisitions as he did so. Eventually, he came to a stop, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels.
“We were beginning to worry we wouldn’t find you,” he said to them, “We would have been lost if it wasn’t for our Secret Keeper’s unique insight.” The heroes looked at one another, confused. “Oh, you still don’t get it, huh? Well, Mr Tunt wasn’t our only one, he just worked for POP. You know, you actually did the rest of the OEO a huge favour because now they have to share their little plan with the rest of us.” Now the trio were really confused. Dallas raised his hand, prompting most of the soldiers to aim directly at him;
“Question,” he said. The briefcase man gestured for him to continue, “Ok, well I don’t think I’m alone in asking; what the fuck are you talking about? I mean, we just got sent to get info about a drink recipe, by the Universe’s biggest dickhead and then we found out they were making zombie juice. Then, we had to hide out because a bounty was put on our heads, so we hid out and now we’re here. We don’t know anything about secrets or whatever the OEO is. Can we just leave, no one will believe us about what we know anyway?” The man began to laugh. Dallas turned to the others; “worth a shot, right?” The man stopped laughing and looked, maniacally, into Dallas’ eyes.
“Typical, the one who killed the secret keeper is the one who now pleads ignorance?! Pathetic! I hope you die first! But, before you go off to your fate, know this; the one who betrayed you was-“
“Please say that Zeffross dude!” blurted Dallas, a little too gleefully. The man looked speechless. “Oh, look at his face,” said Dallas, excitedly, “It totally is him. I called that shit, what did I say ‘super-villain’ and I was fucking right.”
“Alright, that’s enough, Jeff. At this rate, they’ll know everything,” said the other man in a calm voice, “not that it matters, I suppose, you’ll all be dead within a week I’m sure.”
“Look,” said Van, “Mr-“
“Please,” replied the man, “call me Vanessa.”
“Ok, Vanessa. You two seem quite vague on when we’re gonna die, if you’re answering final questions, can mine be why that is?”
“Very well,” said Vanessa, “You will find out soon enough. Since you did give the members of the OEO a hand, unwittingly though I’m sure it was, I will answer your query now. You see, the fine people at Happy World are so dedicated to keeping our customers tastes catered to, that we have many attractions that aren’t that public friendly. One of the services we offer for our more affluent clientele is the chance to gamble on ‘unsavoury’ sports. One of these sports is a survival struggle on one of our unregistered planetary annexations. You three will be a part of this. The higher ups thought it would be a more sporting end.”
“Typical super-villain behaviour,” said Dallas, shaking his head.
“I have a question,” Said Yukimi, stepping forward. The soldiers moved into position, ready to turn her into a stain on the floor. Vanessa waved them to stand down and nodded to Yukimi. “Is Commander Zeffross the OEO secret keeper?”
Both Van and Dallas awaited the answer as Vanessa and Yukimi stood, locked into each other’s gaze. “I don’t think I need to say that, out loud, you already know the answer.”
Yukimi fought back the tears that were bursting from her tear ducts. She grabbed her knees to stop herself from collapsing, her head bowed to muffle her sobs. “Now,” said Vanessa, he motioned toward the chamber, “if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Hang on,” said Dallas, “don’t I get a question?”
Vanessa hesitated, “very well,” he said with a smile.
“Do you know where belly button fluff comes from?” Vanessa’s face contorted into a look of pure confusion. Everyone in the room shot Dallas a ’what the absolute fuck’ look.
“No?” replied Vanessa, quizzically.
“Oh, well,” said Dallas, ignoring the puzzled looks coming his way, “worth a try.”
The trio dragged their feet towards the chamber door. Van and Dallas had to prop Yukimi up as they walked, she was broken and weeping. The door closed behind them, locking shut. There were no windows, only a single light in the centre of the ceiling and sensors around the top of the walls.
“Just so you know,” Dallas said to Van, “those sensors, up there, are for a matter transporter.”
“Thanks,” replied Van, “I thought they probably were.” There was a blinding flash and the chamber was empty once more.