A Secret Alpha Mate

(1sla) I fell asleep almost immediately in Jackson's strong arms, the problem was staying asleep. Images of my parents last moments flashed through my mind. it won't always be like this, all of your memories are coming back at once. Its hard I know, I can feel it. You can get through this, we can get through it. I know I did know, with the help of my new family I knew that I would be able to pull through this. Somehow, even if I felt like a shell of my former self. jackson pulled me tighter into his chest and I focused on his scent to help me fall back asleep. I wake up to Jackson eying me, light filtering through the curtains, I give him a small smile which he returns seemingly relieved. “I'll send for breakfast in bed,” He pushes my hair behind my ear, “Do you think you would be ready for a walk today?” He doesn't meet my eyes when he asks. “I think some fresh air would be nice. I don't know how much I'l be up to for today." Realization dawned on me, “I forgot 1 visit the warriors mates to watch the kids." felt so bad, I didn't want them to think that I abandoned them. “Don't worry about it, Lucas is filling in for you. The kids loved him apparently.” “Lucas went in my place?” That made me smile thinking about it, I bet Lucas would be great with kids, he’s a big kid hims “Yeah, he complained at first but I think he actually enjoyed himself. We also told everyone who you were, I mentioned th to you yesterday but I'm not sure if we were getting through to you." “Abigail mentioned that they knew who I was. They're okay with it right?” I ask apprehensively, old unfounded fears creeping back in. “They are elated. They loved you as their Luna and now they are even more excited to find out that the rightful heir. It's a small blessing, a silver lining in all this mess." He takes my face in his hands. “I knew you were special, I just didn't know how special you really were." A knock comes on the door and Jacksos comes back to bed with a plate of breakfast food. Omelettes, hashbrowns, bacon and a strawberry smoothie. It smelled divine, and I was happy that my stomach was rumbling. Getting hunger back, gettir any kind of feeling back, was an improvement upon yesterday. “Thank you." I start digging in and we sit and eat in silence. After breakfast we start to get ready, “Do you have much on the agenda for today?” 1 ask him as he pulls on his shirt. “some more of the Elders are coming. They're working on the omega village now with some light witches. So I'll have to meet them at some point, and I'm trying to make sense of the companies that you own.” “We own.” I correct him. He smiles at me and comes over to take my hands in his. “'m hoping we can use them to build the new omega village, an maybe update some of the homes here. I've only been in a few but the ones we visited seemed to need some upgrades a repairs” “Let me know how I can help!" say, feeling guilty for leaving him to do all this work on his own. “Don’t worry about working today if you're not up to it. We can ease you into it again.” He says eying my face, I knew he would be like this for the foreseeable future, looking for any signs I might slip back into the darkness. I was honestly waiting for it to happen myself. “Can we take a little walk first, I want to see how it goes,” How I feel, how many breakdowns I have, “Before I decide what 'm up for” “Tell me how you're feeling,” His eyes turn serious, searching mine again, “If it's starting to get even a little upset, tell me nod, I could do that. jackson sneaks me out back, the people that we do see are eyeing me with wide eyes, some of them offer small smiles which I try to return, but no one comes up to us. I'm grateful to that. jackson walks me hand and hand out back towards to forest, I sneak a glance towards the lake, knowing I couldn't go bac there yet. Sad that I can't visit my favorite place in this pack, Benjamin ruined that for me, I pushed that thought away. “Do you know where my parents are buried?” I ask, already knowing the answer, I bet he disposed of them somewhere unknown. His hand tenses and he stops next to me. “0, I'm not sure how to tell you this." He takes a long pause, my stomach clenches, what could it possibly be, “So they we preserved. In tanks. Part of the witches spell” My eyes are wide, they kept my parents for some f**+**g spell, the absolute disrespect. I cant believe it. I was shaking with rage. Don’t worry we will get his chance at them Hot tears stream down my face. Not sad now, angry. Livid. “Take me to them.” “Baby, I don't think that is a good idea” 1 turn away from him, “Take me to them.” I repeat slowly. I needed to see them. jackson walks quietly in front of me. I focus on his footsteps following in his path. He doesn't say anything until we reach the omega village, the old omega village. This place felt familiar, I had a slight flashback of seeing this, but it looked different. It wasn't a strong enough memory for me to hold on to and I shook it from my head. “Are you sure?” Jackson whispers. “How bad is it?" I ask, not sure anymore. “They look like they did the day that they died." That would be hard but better than seeing them as rotting corpses. I nod to myself. “The light witches are making sure it's okay to remove them, and then we wanted to have a memorial for them. We would let you take complete control on planning that, of course” “I want them buried by the lake, by our spot on the lake." My voice breaks, I take a steadying breath. “We can make that work, might have to build something in the ground, concrete maybe, as the ground is wet, but-" He looks at me, “Sorry, I'l figure out the logistics, you tell me what you want for the ceremony.” “Okay, I'm ready” I say, more to convince myself than him. We walk into the omega village, under a huge arc of a door. I didn't remember there being a wall around it, but I couldn't remember it fully so maybe it was my memory that was faulty. There were a few Elder's and warriors around. cam looks at us unsure but Jackson nods at him, his eyes clouding over in a mindlink, 'm sure linking Jackson. jackson leads me into a cottage and hesitates at the door, taking a long look at my face before turning back through the door propping it open for me. I wasn't sure what I expected, but it wasn't the soft glow of a shimmering liquid that they were suspended in. I think wher he said tank I was thinking of a muddy fish tank, letting decay take over. Something dirty, not this. They looked so real. Sc alive. I took a few steps forward and lift my hand and placed in on the glass. They like they were sleeping. I was almost expecting them to open their eyes again. No, they were gone. It was obvious by the large scars and bite marks across their bodies. They were dead. Preserved, but long gone. I didn't know how I felt. sad, angry, mostly lost. Seeing them exactly how I remembered them from my four year olds eyes was a complete shock. I felt closer to them than I had in years but also farther away, a shimmering and clear barrier between life and death. The were hovering between it. I took one last look at my mother, her hair streaming around her face, moving in the liquid, an my father, ahis face stoic but kind as ever. I couldn't do this anymore. I opened my mouth to ask Jackson to leave but I knew I would sink back into that dark place. I took a deep breath, memorizing their faces and ran out, not sparing a backwards glance. I knew that Jackson was following me even though I didn't hear him. He caught up to me and swept me in his arms. “Take them out of there," I whispered, trying to hold back the sobs I knew were coming, “They need to rest” Jackson holds me closer. “Once the witches confirm that its safe it will be done." “When?” I manage out, my throat feeling dry. “Hopefully this afternoon, we can have the memorial whenever you're ready” I put my arms around him and hug him tight. “Let's walk back, I can work from our room.” He pauses, “Are you okay to walk?" “Yes” I needed to process what I just saw. As hard as it was, now that I could think about it rationally, I think it helped. To be able to see the like they were, to validate my memories. To say goodbye to them, actually them. The memorial would be hard, and as much as I wanted to go back, to sit in front of them for hours, I knew I had to leave before I got addicted to it. They weren't coming back. I couldn't look at them like that forever, even it made them more re than a picture, than a memory. I couldn't let myself lose reality again, I don't know if 1 would pull myself back out. My feet hit the ground and I could focus. I had to actively remind myself to focus on my surroundings so I didn't slip. It ws harder than I thought. The smell of fresh, overturned dirt, the feel of a soft, yet sharply cold breeze on my face, Jackson's scent behind me, the feel of his hand grasping mine, sending sparks up my arm. I opened my eyes and took a few steps. I could do this, I would focus on the part of myself that was the Luna of Moonstor the Luna of Silver Moon. She was stronger than I felt. Walking back to the pack house helped clear my mind. Coming around the side of the packhouse I saw John, the man that supplied produce to the packhouse. I always used to wish that he could have been Abigial's mate, but now that I saw her with Jim I knew that he was the only man for her. He looks up, wide eyes, like he's seen a ghost. I had a fleeting self-concious thought of how I must look, puffy, blotchy, re He comes up without saying anything and pulls me away from Jackson into a tight hug, lifting my feet off the ground. It fe 200d, familiar, and I returned it. I felt Jackson relax after I returned the hug. “Miss Isla.” He hugs me even tighter, “Luna” After a few moments he sets me down, smiling that dazzling familiar smile. “I missed you.” I murmur. I look over his shoulder to see a few more pack members closing in on us. I felt calm, oddly at peace with them around m They were smiling, sympathetic, yes, but also overjoyed to see me, like they were seeing me for the first time. “Little Isla.” One of them says grabbing my hand. “Look how big, your parents would be so proud.” Another one wipes a tear. They join in and give me a massive hug, not stifling in the least. Exactly what I needed. The warmth of my pack surrounde me in understanding. Sharing my grief, taking some of the load just off me.

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