A Pinch of Cinnamon

Nick’s POV

I can’t get her out of my head. I groan, running my hand through my hair in frustration. She left a few minutes ago with Jay to go start her chores and now I’m standing in my bedroom staring at the place where she slept. All I could think of was her small smile, her cheeks tinting a beautiful shade of pink as we said goodbye. Her chocolate waves framing her face whenever she would look down to avoid my gaze. That little dimple when she smiles.

What the actual fuck is happening to me? I’m barely in control of my own body. My hands were itching to grab her face and smash my lips against hers. I had to physically stuff them into my pockets before they acted on their own......again.

I couldn’t help this feeling; this need to be close to her. My mind kept screaming at me that I just met her yesterday, but my heart doesn’t seem to care. She seemed to feel it too. I could feel her shiver whenever our skin would brush together. That blush that only seemed to appear around me. Those constant glances towards each other when we thought the other wasn’t looking. She would immediately blush and look away whenever our eyes met. I’m feeling almost desperate to see her again, to find out all that makes her blush that beautiful, red color.

When I met Jay, everything fell into place. This. This is what I’ve been missing. A family. Love. The little dude tugged at my heart strings immediately. Caring for him last night made me feel like I was a father. Something I’ve always wanted. I didn’t want them to leave but I knew Spencer had chores to do. I wonder how she does it with Jay. When my mom mentioned hay, my mouth spoke before my brain could register. I wanted to be near her, so I jumped at the chance.

*****

It’s been a few hours since Spencer left, and the men loaded the hay onto the trailer. Dad gave me directions to her farm, and it sounded easy to find.

My truck rumbled down the stretch of dirt road, jostling my body at each pothole. The noon sun was beating down and making me sweat. I turned onto Spencer’s driveway and drove under the arch that read Haven Homestead. Rolling hills and flat lands, sprawling acres. It was a picturesque small farm. Farther down the driveway I could see a red barn and white farmhouse. I inhaled deeply to the scent of grass and hay. The earthy, musty scent of a ranch. A wave of peace flooded me. I always enjoyed being outdoors.

I parked the trailer in front of the barn and started walking around. It was silent other than the occasional animal sound.

Where is she?

I couldn’t find Spencer or Jay anywhere. After trying the house, I walked around the barn and outbuildings and still nothing. A whinny caught my attention as I looked out towards the paddock by the barn. A bay gelding and a white mare were staring intently into the distance. Their ears were pricked forward, and nostrils flared slightly as they inhaled for any scent that could mean danger. Once they seemed satisfied, they turned away and went back to grazing. I had followed their gaze and could just barely see the tip of a spotted horse head. Black tipped ears slowly emerge over the slope and a white and brown head tossed around as he nickers to his friends. My eyes narrowed to see the face of the person riding him. I was stunned to see the small, beaming face of Jay before my eyes immediately shifted to the beauty seated behind him, her arms protectively wrapped around him with one hand holding the reins.

Even though she was several hundred yards away, her green eyes snapped up to meet mine. I could make out a soft smile gracing her lips. I couldn’t tell if the tint to her cheeks was due to the heat or something else.

God, she was beautiful without even trying. Her chocolate waves were tied back underneath her cowboy hat. She had on jeans and a white tank top that had brown dirt smudges on it.

She gently nudged the horse into a lope. Her body fluidly moving with her horse. It was effortless. It was like she had been born a part of the animal beneath her. She sidled up to me and pulled the horse to a stop.

“Hey. Were you waiting long?” Her breathless voice was music to my ears.

I wonder how she would sound being breathless for another reason.

I shook myself from my thoughts, already feeling my jeans tightening. I definitely don’t need to be thinking that right now.

“Not at all. I just got here. I was just walking around to look for you.” I frowned noticing the dark circles underneath her eyes as she sighed.

“Yeah. Sorry I had a fence down, so I had to round up the loose cattle and then fix it.” She murmured something to Jay before swinging down from the saddle. She reached up for Jay as he leaned down, his arms stretching out to her. He slid off the horse into her arms. Setting him down, she unbuckles his little helmet and takes off his protective vest. He sure did look adorable all suited up. Reminded me of a little bull rider. Spencer definitely pulled out all the stops to ensure he was safe. But did she really not have someone to watch him?

As soon as his helmet and vest were off, Jay immediately ran towards me, latching his tiny arms around my legs.

“Nick!” Spencer smiled as she watched on.

“Hey little man!” I knelt to be face to face with him. His blonde bangs sticky with sweat but a gleam in his eyes showed me he was having a blast. “Did you wrangle up all those naughty cows?”

He nodded exuberantly. ” I helped momma!”

“Good job buddy.” I chuckle, standing back up to face Spencer.

“Why don’t you go take the rest of your gear off bud, then we can make lunch.” She smiles down at him. The dimple in her cheeks making an appearance. I suddenly wanted to see her smile all the time. I want her to be happy and experience all the joys in life. The burning need in my chest to fulfill all her dreams along with my own.

I can see her cheeks tint red again as she catches me staring at her. I can’t even feel embarrassed by it. I want to know everything about her. I want to learn all her expressions, everything her eyes can tell you with one glance.

“Would you like to join us for lunch Nick? Then we can unload the hay. I’m sure you need to get out of here soon.” Was that disappointment in her voice? I grin down at her.

“I’d love to thanks. And no worries. I have nowhere to be.”

While Spencer untacks her horse, whose name I learned was Demon, Jay and I headed in to wash up.

Her house was very cozy. The first floor was all open concept. The kitchen was straight ahead as you entered, with a kitchen island and bar stools. She had new appliances and butchers block counter tops. To the right of the kitchen was the dining room with a four-seat table. The rest of the space was the living area and the stairs to the second floor were to the left. There was a roomy L-shaped couch and love seat on top of gleaming hardwood floors. A recycled wood coffee table lay in front of the couch. There was a decent flat screen TV on a stand by the far wall. In front of the tv was a tiny little bean bag chair which I’m assuming was Jay’s. Random toys were scattered about but in no ways was it messy. Photos were displayed on the wall. Some were of animals and things around the farm. The majority were ones of Jay or the two of them. My favorite had to be one of Spencer and Jay. They were both staring at each other with giant smiles. Jay’s gleeful and Spencer’s full of love. Their arms were wrapped around each other.

Jay had gone upstairs to dress in something cooler, so I had time to look around. A picture on the table beside the couch caught my eye. It was a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, smiling down at a newborn in her arms. I studied the picture closely. The woman resembled Jay quite a bit. My curiosity was peaked, and I didn’t hear Spencer enter the house. Her voice startled me out of my thoughts.

“Her name was Jillian.” I turned to see a sad, wistful smile on Spencer’s face. I stared at her with concern.

Was?

I was about to question her when she spoke, her eyes never straying from the picture.

“She was Jayden’s birth mother.” My eyebrows shot up in surprise. Never did I imagine that Jay wasn’t Spencer’s.

“I thought...” I trailed off not knowing what to say. Spencer seemed to understand where I was going. Her sad eyes raised to look into my own.

“She was killed by a drunk driver about 2 months after Jayden was born. No one knew who the father was. She didn’t even tell me, and we were basically sisters. She listed me as his guardian, so, I’ve had him ever since.” I was astounded. She just dropped her life to care for this baby who wasn’t even hers. My lips turn up at the thought of the amazing woman standing next to me. Again, she catches me staring.

“What?” She tilts her head slightly. I wet my dry lips and chuckle slightly.

“You’re just amazing you know that?”

“What?” She laughs awkwardly in disbelief as she struggled to keep her gaze on mine.

“You drop everything to take care of a kid who isn’t yours. Not everyone would be prepared to do that. Especially at your age. I mean how old were you when he came to live with you?”

“Twenty.” She murmurs softly. Wow. She was a little younger than I thought. I figured she was 25. I’m 7 years older than her, I grimace inwardly.

“That’s incredible. You are so young to carry so much on your plate. Not only that but you have this farm. It’s very admirable. Who do you have to help you here?” She has to have someone on staff. The amount of work it takes to operate a farm is insane. Tack on a toddler to that?! I can see a visible tension in Spencer after I ask. Her breathing quickens a bit, and she looks like she’s struggling not to show how upset she is.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong? I didn’t mean anything by it.” I hastily try and back track.

Spencer shakes her head. “It’s not that. It’s just...Jesus. You know how you can just keep going on until it all catches up to you?” I nod at her. I’ve certainly felt that before. She looks up at me with a smile that looks more forced than it should. “Well, it’s caught up with me.”

She sighs and collapses on the couch. I hesitantly sit beside her not wanting to force anything from her. It’s clear to me she needs to let this out. It must have been pent up for a long time to be coming out to a near stranger.

I’m not complaining. I want to know everything. I wish I could wrap her in my arms to comfort her. But if I couldn’t be anything more to her, I could at least be her friend and listen.